Imagine Your Future

My series, Confident in God's Garden, continues with some thoughts about looking ahead at the future. We've learned that, as survivors of abuse or trauma, we can be some of the most fearful people on the planet.

Through this series, we've taken some steps to change our outward appearance so that we feel a little more courageous...better equipped for the battles ahead. If we truly want to become bolder, though, we must change what's on the inside, too.

Imagine a fairy tale ending.
Fairy tales have always been popular, because they give readers hope. The author typically introduces a young girl, trapped in an unhappy childhood, and creates a marvelous future for her. When she achieves her dreams, the reader feels satisfied and uplifted.

Snow White danced around, singing Someday My Prince Will Come. She understood the importance of keeping her eyes on what could be, not what was. Hope gave her the courage to keep on moving through life, dreaming of a better future. Eventually, her dreams came true with the arrival of her prince.

We must imagine ourselves in the future, confident, happy, and satisfied. Getting there won't be easy, but if we think about where we want to end up, we can figure out what we need along the way.

What are God's dreams for our future?
God's got a definite plan for our future with him in heaven. Way back when he created the world, our final destinies were already in his plans. To get us to our end destination, he has orchestrated our arrival on earth at exactly the right time. He placed us in our families--even the most dysfunctional ones--where we would learn the skills that we would need for our future lives.

God knew that we would mess things up and get sidetracked along the way. He realized that we would need tremendous hope to keep on going in this challenging world. That's why he sent Jesus to die on a cross to keep sin from separating us from him. Because of God's great love for us, our futures are clearly defined.

God sent Jeremiah, a prophet, to give the Israelites an encouraging message. This same promise still holds true for us and for our future. I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. (Jeremiah 29:11b MSG)

Notice that the final phrase says that God has plans to give us the future that we hope for. So many Christians sit back and say that they're waiting on God to tell them what to do. I think they're wasting a lot of precious time, because they fail to engage their minds to discover their purpose for being here.

God has put desires into our hearts for a reason. Those desires are simply his blueprint for our lives. Anything good that we can imagine, God put there in the first place. Our dreams take us where God wants us to go when we step out with courage and put them into action.

Today's Challenge
Imagine your future self as confident, happy, and satisfied. Write down today what you are doing in your dream. Snow White's specific vision was for a prince to come into her life. What's yours? If you're drawing a blank, pray for God's dreams for your future to become clear to you.

Seeing Clearly Improves Confidence

We are learning how to become more confident after surviving abuse or trauma. This series, Confident in God's Hands, focuses on changes that we can make to boost our self-esteem. Today, I would like to consider our vision and how it affects our level of confidence.

Are you blind?
While we may not realize we need to have our vision corrected, it is imperative to get regular eye exams. With corrected vision, we don't mistake the skunk on our front porch for our kitty, and we don't misread the 1/2 cup sugar in our recipe as 1/2 cup salt. Corrected vision increases our confidence, because when we can see clearly, we simply function better.

How does God view corrected vision?
God originally designed us to see perfectly all of our lives. But after the fall of mankind, we were destined to live imperfect lives. I believe that God feels compassion for us when we can't see clearly, as evidenced in this passage about Jesus healing the blind:

The people were amazed when they saw the mute speaking, the crippled made well, the lame walking and the blind seeing. And they praised the God of Israel. (Matthew 15:31 NIV)

I am so thankful that God gave us the gift of eyeglasses, contact lenses, and corrective surgery for issues such as nearsightedness and cataracts. There are so many people in the world who do not have access to these blessings, and my heart goes out to them. I can't imagine trying to function without my glasses.

What's holding you back?
Many of us resist wearing glasses for a number of reasons. Some people claim that they can't afford them, but I think the more frequent excuse for not getting glasses is that we don't like the way we look in them. Furthermore, we don't know how to choose a pair that suits us.

We've got to set aside our vanity over wearing glasses if we want to feel confident. Seeing things clearly and being able to read without straining our eyes or making mistakes is imperative to bolstering our self-esteem.

Are your glasses outdated?
Choosing glasses can be a stressful undertaking. They say a lot about our personalities, and they're the first thing people may notice about us...especially if they're not a good fit. If you already wear glasses, is it time for an update?

Consider Estelle Getty's glasses in the picture below.

The producers of The Golden Girls intentionally exaggerated Getty's oversized spectacles. They are the trademark of old people who don't see the need to update their look. Don't fall into that category of people who are stuck in a rut. Nothing robs us of confidence faster than feeling as if we're clueless about current styles.

Tips for choosing glasses.
For some of us, contact lenses or corrective surgery are not viable options. So, if we want to feel confident wearing glasses, we must take the time to select them carefully. I've discovered some tips for choosing eyewear, and my new glasses usually help me to feel more confident about my vision, as well as my appearance.

1) Don't let someone else choose your look. While your husband or your best friend may think you look terrific, if you don't feel confident in the glasses they choose, they'll never work for you.

2) Take your time. Shop around at various eyeglass stores. If you don't find something you like, don't settle for second-best.

3) Listen to the advice of the optician, who is trained to fit eyeglasses properly. While a particular frame may seem like a good choice, if they're too big for your face, you'll wind up looking like Estelle Getty.

4) Take lots of pictures of yourself wearing the glasses you try on. Carry your own camera and collect dozens of images. Then, go home and sift through the various styles until you narrow down your choices to the top three.

5) If possible, show the pictures to your hairstylist before purchasing glasses. Your hair color and cut may not work with the color or shape of the glasses you're considering.

6) Don't chintz when it comes to the purchase price. Going for the $49 special may save you money, but it may cost you in confidence if you end up looking like one of the Golden Girls.

7) Buy at a store with a money-back guarantee. If you discover that your glasses are uncomfortable, don't suit your style, or make you feel self-conscious, you can start the process over again.

Today's Challenge
Take pictures of yourself in your current glasses. Do they suit your face shape, your hair color, and your eye shape? If not, follow the seven tips above to improve your confidence with a new frame that better reflects who you are.