Jack Canfield's Success Principle #44
Successful people constantly ask for advice from mentors who have triumphed over the same hardships in the past. Do you have a mentor?
Determine in advance what you want from a mentor.
Mentors can help us to see possibilities that we can't. Perhaps they can open doors for us. Or maybe they can refer us to someone else who can help. Sometimes a mentor simply validates what we're doing. In any case, we need to be specific about what we want them to do for us before we meet them.
I met with my mentor yesterday, with several specific questions regarding ways to protect my health. I had encountered two very abusive people during the holidays--people I would call crazymakers.
Through healing touch--a modality that involves prayer to strengthen our energy--I have overcome considerable pain and a lot of psychological junk in the past few seasons. In just a few days, those crazymakers undid a lot of the progress I had made. The pain was back, and so was the inner turmoil that I thought I had put behind me.
My mentor was wonderful. She validated my responses to the abusers, praising me for speaking truthfully to them and for naming their crazymaking behaviors accurately. She advised me to avoid these people in the future; neither one of them is helping me to achieve my goal of recovery from illness and abuse. She reminded me that all it takes is one encounter with a crazymaker to reactivate my PTSD.
I want to say to you, dear reader, that all of the success principles we've been discussing are useless if we live or work with people who make us crazy. It's impossible to be productive and successful when we're spending all of our time defending ourselves against their attacks. We must leave them behind if we want to live a healthy, peaceful, successful life.
Do your homework.
Everyone could use a mentor to help them with their profession, as well as with their personal pursuits. But where do we find them? We can read our specific industry magazines, look on the Internet, ask others in our profession, or attend seminars.
Most people are afraid to approach a mentor for advice. This is silly. Many well-rounded and experienced people are happy to share their secrets for success. By helping us, they can leave a legacy for the next generation.
So how do we approach a mentor? Here's a quick script that is similar to the one from The Success Principles:
Hello, Mrs. Smith. My name is Cheryl. We haven't met yet. I know you're a busy woman, so I'll be brief. I own a small life coaching business. Over the years, I've watched you building your business into one of the most successful in the country. I'm sure you encountered some challenges when you started out. Well, I'm in those early stages, trying to figure everything out. Mrs. Smith, I would really appreciate it if you would consider being my mentor. All that would mean is spending ten minutes on the phone with me once a month so that I could ask you a few questions. I'd really appreciate it. Would you be open to that?
Most mentors will agree when we put it to them this way. If someone turns us down, we must keep asking until we find a good match.
There is a network of over 10,000 retired business volunteers who offer advice. They work for SCORE, Service Corps of Retired Executives. We can find one of them at www.score.org.
I've utilized the services of the Small Business Development Center near me. They've been very helpful in teaching me how to set up my internet shop, Hope Quilts of Ohio. I found them by looking at www.sba.gov/sbdc.
Take action on your mentor's advice.
After we find a mentor, we must not waste her time by ignoring what she advised us to do. In my case, if I invited one of the crazymakers I recently encountered into my home, it would invalidate everything I learned from my mentor.
Be prepared to return the favor.
Whenever possible, we should try to help out our mentors. We can keep them informed about a new trend in our industry or call them with new opportunities for their businesses. One of the best ways to repay the favor is to pay it forward to someone else who needs a mentor. I know that the reason I am so interested in helping others is because so many wonderful women have helped me over the years.
Turn to God for advice, too.
When our mentors are unavailable to us, God is always there to provide wisdom and comfort. Psalm 91:4 is one of my favorite verses: He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge...
There have been many times in the past when an abuser rattled me so badly, I couldn't function. I turned to God, with this vision of being like a small bird nestling under the warmth and protection of his wing. He never failed to comfort me and give me the courage to go back out into the world and try again.
Today's Challenge
We can all use a mentor, either for business advice or life coaching. Figure out today where you need help, then identify someone more experienced than you are to help you reach your goals. Take the initiative to make that phone call and ask for the help you need. Remember, you get what you expect, so think positively about their response!
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Say No to the Good So You Can Say Yes to the Great
Jack Canfield's Success Principle #43
Are you constantly chasing after misguided schemes for success, dedicating your time to activities that lead you away from your life's purpose? When we say yes to anything that takes us in the wrong direction, we're preventing God from blessing us with something better.
Bypass good opportunities to pursue great ones.
We've already learned that watching television, surfing the Internet, rescuing dysfunctional people, and gossiping on the phone are all time-wasting activities. But that's not exactly the point Jack is trying to make here.
He tells about Sylvester Stallone writing the screenplay for Rocky. Stallone was offered a lot of money for the story, but he wanted more: he insisted on playing the lead role. So he bypassed several good opportunities and found financial backers on his own.
He produced the movie on a measly $1 million budget in just 28 days. Rocky became an instant hit, earning over $225 million in 1976 and winning Stallone Oscars for best picture and best director. By foregoing some good opportunities, Stallone turned his venture into something really great.
What better activity could show up in your life if you were willing to say no to the good?
What do you fear?
In my opinion, a better question to ask would be: Why are you passing up great opportunities to settle for the mediocre? I believe that most people are afraid of failing, afraid of looking foolish, or afraid of the changes that tremendous success might bring. So they play it safe in mundane jobs and volunteer pursuits, all the while preventing great opportunities from surfacing because they keep themselves busy with run-of-the mill work and activities.
God promised to rescue his people and provide them with a land flowing with milk and honey. When they got close to Canaan, the leaders sent spies into the land. They came back carrying a single cluster of grapes that was so huge, two men had to bear the weight of it on a pole between them. It was truly unlike any place they had ever seen.
There was just one problem: the men were terrified of the giants who lived in the land. All but two of them didn't believe that God would help them conquer the inhabitants. Only Caleb and Joshua trusted God and encouraged the people to take over Canaan. As a result, Caleb and Joshua were the only Israelites out of the entire bunch who ever got to live there. (Numbers 13-14)
Are you afraid of going after your dreams? Or do you have the courage of Joshua and Caleb, who believed God's promises to bless them?
Clarify your life purpose.
Do you know what God's purpose is for your life? I know why God sent me to earth. Here's my purpose statement:
My purpose is to use my gifts to teach underprivileged, abused, and traumatized women new life skills so that they can learn how to thrive.
Since I know what my purpose is, it's easy to figure out when I should say yes to great opportunities that arise. I can use my gifts of writing, sewing, or success coaching to help others.
A group of women from church asked me to teach them how to make quilts a couple of years ago. I agreed, because it matched my purpose statement. Quilting turned out to be a great opportunity, because the women I teach are growing in their faith and abilities.
This great opportunity also brings in extra money when I sell quilts through my online store, Hope Quilts of Ohio. This extra income allows me to send money to a missionary in Pakistan who helps women achieve freedom from slavery by teaching them to sew.
Say no to anything that takes you off-track from your purpose.
Someone once asked me to teach Vacation Bible School. I agreed, because they were desperate for someone to work with five-year-olds: my area of expertise at the time. I ended up feeling tired and resentful every day that I worked with those kids. Just because I had a teaching degree didn't mean that good opportunity was a great one for me.
I have learned to discern when I am off-track. I compare opportunities to my life purpose, and if they aren't in-sync, I say no. We must all be careful to say no to good opportunities so that we can make time for the great ones.
Get some good advice.
Jack suggests some activities for bypassing the good and pursuing the great. He recommends talking to advisors about the potential in any new pursuit. We can ask questions of people who have traveled the same road before us. They can tell us how much time, money, effort, stress, and commitment will be required.
Test the waters first.
Don't just jump in with both feet when a new opportunity presents itself, Jack warns. We should run a test, spending a limited amount of time and money. If it's a new career field, we can take a part-time job for a little while to make sure we like it. If it's volunteer work, we can offer limited time to a project first to see if it's what we really should be doing.
Today's Challenge
Clarify your purpose statement to determine whether or not you're spending your time chasing after good opportunities or great ones. If you're headed in the wrong direction, make corrections today to get back on track.
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
Are you constantly chasing after misguided schemes for success, dedicating your time to activities that lead you away from your life's purpose? When we say yes to anything that takes us in the wrong direction, we're preventing God from blessing us with something better.
Bypass good opportunities to pursue great ones.
We've already learned that watching television, surfing the Internet, rescuing dysfunctional people, and gossiping on the phone are all time-wasting activities. But that's not exactly the point Jack is trying to make here.
He tells about Sylvester Stallone writing the screenplay for Rocky. Stallone was offered a lot of money for the story, but he wanted more: he insisted on playing the lead role. So he bypassed several good opportunities and found financial backers on his own.
He produced the movie on a measly $1 million budget in just 28 days. Rocky became an instant hit, earning over $225 million in 1976 and winning Stallone Oscars for best picture and best director. By foregoing some good opportunities, Stallone turned his venture into something really great.
What better activity could show up in your life if you were willing to say no to the good?
What do you fear?
In my opinion, a better question to ask would be: Why are you passing up great opportunities to settle for the mediocre? I believe that most people are afraid of failing, afraid of looking foolish, or afraid of the changes that tremendous success might bring. So they play it safe in mundane jobs and volunteer pursuits, all the while preventing great opportunities from surfacing because they keep themselves busy with run-of-the mill work and activities.
God promised to rescue his people and provide them with a land flowing with milk and honey. When they got close to Canaan, the leaders sent spies into the land. They came back carrying a single cluster of grapes that was so huge, two men had to bear the weight of it on a pole between them. It was truly unlike any place they had ever seen.
There was just one problem: the men were terrified of the giants who lived in the land. All but two of them didn't believe that God would help them conquer the inhabitants. Only Caleb and Joshua trusted God and encouraged the people to take over Canaan. As a result, Caleb and Joshua were the only Israelites out of the entire bunch who ever got to live there. (Numbers 13-14)
Are you afraid of going after your dreams? Or do you have the courage of Joshua and Caleb, who believed God's promises to bless them?
Clarify your life purpose.
Do you know what God's purpose is for your life? I know why God sent me to earth. Here's my purpose statement:
My purpose is to use my gifts to teach underprivileged, abused, and traumatized women new life skills so that they can learn how to thrive.
Since I know what my purpose is, it's easy to figure out when I should say yes to great opportunities that arise. I can use my gifts of writing, sewing, or success coaching to help others.
A group of women from church asked me to teach them how to make quilts a couple of years ago. I agreed, because it matched my purpose statement. Quilting turned out to be a great opportunity, because the women I teach are growing in their faith and abilities.
This great opportunity also brings in extra money when I sell quilts through my online store, Hope Quilts of Ohio. This extra income allows me to send money to a missionary in Pakistan who helps women achieve freedom from slavery by teaching them to sew.
Say no to anything that takes you off-track from your purpose.
Someone once asked me to teach Vacation Bible School. I agreed, because they were desperate for someone to work with five-year-olds: my area of expertise at the time. I ended up feeling tired and resentful every day that I worked with those kids. Just because I had a teaching degree didn't mean that good opportunity was a great one for me.
I have learned to discern when I am off-track. I compare opportunities to my life purpose, and if they aren't in-sync, I say no. We must all be careful to say no to good opportunities so that we can make time for the great ones.
Get some good advice.
Jack suggests some activities for bypassing the good and pursuing the great. He recommends talking to advisors about the potential in any new pursuit. We can ask questions of people who have traveled the same road before us. They can tell us how much time, money, effort, stress, and commitment will be required.
Test the waters first.
Don't just jump in with both feet when a new opportunity presents itself, Jack warns. We should run a test, spending a limited amount of time and money. If it's a new career field, we can take a part-time job for a little while to make sure we like it. If it's volunteer work, we can offer limited time to a project first to see if it's what we really should be doing.
Today's Challenge
Clarify your purpose statement to determine whether or not you're spending your time chasing after good opportunities or great ones. If you're headed in the wrong direction, make corrections today to get back on track.
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Just Say No!
Jack Canfield's Success Principle #42
Successful people know how and when to say no to things without feeling guilty. Can you? Jack makes some suggestions to help us learn to say no.
Eliminate tasks, requests, and time stealers that don't have a high payoff.
Quit agreeing to things that make you unhappy or unproductive by creating a 'stop-doing list.' This list contains policies that you stick by, no matter what, such as never loaning your car to anyone, not scheduling social events on family night, and not giving money to people who call on the phone.
For victims of abuse, I think the list should include policies, such as: never let him talk disrespectfully to you; never feel guilty for spending money that you earned; never believe that every argument is your fault; never put up with his childish outbursts; never listen to his lame excuses for hurting you; and never lie to family and friends to cover up his behavior.
Consider giving up your cell phone and email.
I agree with Jack that cell phones cause a lot of interruptions, and email includes just as much junk mail as our mailboxes used to. But to give up both cell phone and email in this day and age is ridiculous. A person simply needs to discipline themselves to turn off the computer or their phone when it's time to work. Calls can be screened, and junk emails can be deleted without being read.
Figure out why it's so hard to say no.
Jack points out that we find it difficult to say no, because we've been programmed to be agreeable. When we were children, saying no bought us a spanking. At work, we could be disciplined for saying no to projects.
As a survivor of abuse, I can tell you that saying no to an abuser is a surefire way to get mistreated even more. The pain we experience from refusing to go along with the abusive person prevents us from saying what we truly want.
I meet women frequently who are terrified to speak up, due to past or current abuse. I call them 'go-along girls.' They rarely have an opinion, and if you ask them for a preference, they will undoubtedly shrug and say they don't care one way or the other. Even though it may be perfectly safe for them to make a choice in some settings, they will always defer to others. Fear has robbed them of their ability to think for themselves. The abuse has turned them into automatons who react to all requests with compliance. When a person's freedom to choose is shut down, so is their spirit.
One of my favorite quotes, which I keep on my fridge, was written by Dr. Seuss: Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. Every time I read these words, I feel empowered. We have as much right as the next person to say what we think. And if we need to tell someone no, we should feel brave enough to say so.
Most abusers are bullies who crumple up like collapsible blow-up Christmas yard decorations if we merely stand up to them. When we are certain that we are safe from further abuse, saying no to our abusers and other boundary-busters is a great way to regain control of our lives.
Use Jack's excuse.
The next time someone asks you to do something that you don't want to do, use Jack's excuse: "It's not against you; it's for me." For instance, if someone asks you to volunteer on a committee, and it's not on your list of goals; you can simply say, "I'm saying no to you, not because I'm against what you are trying to do. I've been overcommitting myself, and I'm trying to carve out some more time for other things. I'm saying no for me." Most people will understand immediately and will respect you for your strength.
Today's Challenge
Make a list of things you plan to stop doing. Post the list on your refrigerator or above your computer. Include any request that makes you feel pressured, uncomfortable, or angry. The next time someone makes a request that is on your stop-doing list, remember to tell them that it's not against them...it's for you.
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
Successful people know how and when to say no to things without feeling guilty. Can you? Jack makes some suggestions to help us learn to say no.
Eliminate tasks, requests, and time stealers that don't have a high payoff.
Quit agreeing to things that make you unhappy or unproductive by creating a 'stop-doing list.' This list contains policies that you stick by, no matter what, such as never loaning your car to anyone, not scheduling social events on family night, and not giving money to people who call on the phone.
For victims of abuse, I think the list should include policies, such as: never let him talk disrespectfully to you; never feel guilty for spending money that you earned; never believe that every argument is your fault; never put up with his childish outbursts; never listen to his lame excuses for hurting you; and never lie to family and friends to cover up his behavior.
Consider giving up your cell phone and email.
I agree with Jack that cell phones cause a lot of interruptions, and email includes just as much junk mail as our mailboxes used to. But to give up both cell phone and email in this day and age is ridiculous. A person simply needs to discipline themselves to turn off the computer or their phone when it's time to work. Calls can be screened, and junk emails can be deleted without being read.
Figure out why it's so hard to say no.
Jack points out that we find it difficult to say no, because we've been programmed to be agreeable. When we were children, saying no bought us a spanking. At work, we could be disciplined for saying no to projects.
As a survivor of abuse, I can tell you that saying no to an abuser is a surefire way to get mistreated even more. The pain we experience from refusing to go along with the abusive person prevents us from saying what we truly want.
I meet women frequently who are terrified to speak up, due to past or current abuse. I call them 'go-along girls.' They rarely have an opinion, and if you ask them for a preference, they will undoubtedly shrug and say they don't care one way or the other. Even though it may be perfectly safe for them to make a choice in some settings, they will always defer to others. Fear has robbed them of their ability to think for themselves. The abuse has turned them into automatons who react to all requests with compliance. When a person's freedom to choose is shut down, so is their spirit.
One of my favorite quotes, which I keep on my fridge, was written by Dr. Seuss: Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. Every time I read these words, I feel empowered. We have as much right as the next person to say what we think. And if we need to tell someone no, we should feel brave enough to say so.
Most abusers are bullies who crumple up like collapsible blow-up Christmas yard decorations if we merely stand up to them. When we are certain that we are safe from further abuse, saying no to our abusers and other boundary-busters is a great way to regain control of our lives.
Use Jack's excuse.
The next time someone asks you to do something that you don't want to do, use Jack's excuse: "It's not against you; it's for me." For instance, if someone asks you to volunteer on a committee, and it's not on your list of goals; you can simply say, "I'm saying no to you, not because I'm against what you are trying to do. I've been overcommitting myself, and I'm trying to carve out some more time for other things. I'm saying no for me." Most people will understand immediately and will respect you for your strength.
Today's Challenge
Make a list of things you plan to stop doing. Post the list on your refrigerator or above your computer. Include any request that makes you feel pressured, uncomfortable, or angry. The next time someone makes a request that is on your stop-doing list, remember to tell them that it's not against them...it's for you.
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Build a Powerful Support Team and Delegate to Them
According to Jack Canfield, every high achiever has a powerful team of staff members, consultants, vendors, and assistants who do the bulk of the work. This frees the business person to create new sources of income and new opportunities for success. In my opinion, this chapter may be more helpful to high-powered business executives than to the average person.
Practice the Total Focus Process
Jack suggests this exercise for finding the one, two, or three activities that best utilize our core genius, bring us the most money, and produce the greatest level of enjoyment.
1) List every activity that occupies your time: business, personal, and volunteer. Include everything, even small tasks such as making phone calls and photocopying.
2) Choose one, two, or three activities that you do better than most other people. Then, choose the three activities that generate the most income. Focus on the activities that you're brilliant at and that produce the most income.
3) Create a plan for delegating everything else to other people. This may take a long time, but Jack asserts that if you keep chipping away the things that are mundane, you will create a brilliant career.
I like the idea of delegating some mundane tasks to free up time, but I don't believe that everything else should be delegated. I get my best plots for writing novels when I'm folding laundry. And Joe loves the physical exertion he gets from pushing the mower around the yard.
I'm not sure that focusing so much time on our core genius is the best plan. I can imagine people becoming very self-centered workaholics who under-appreciate the people who do all of their grunt work.
Seek out key staff members.
Becoming an entrepreneur early in life is one of the hallmarks of the most successful individuals. So, if you're a business owner, start looking for a dynamic manager who could learn everything that you do. Then, delegate less important tasks to her and concentrate on what you do best.
When I owned a drapery workroom and suddenly found myself paralyzed, I could have used a clone to take over for me. If you're running a business, please be sure that someone else can do your job. That way, if you become ill or temporarily disabled, she can step in for you so that your business can stay afloat.
If community volunteer work is your business, find others to help you. College interns and local foundations can be very supportive. I trained another quilter this summer to learn my role as team leader. It was very timely, because I was injured in a car accident, and she was able to keep the volunteers working until I could return.
For stay-at-home parents, Jack recommends seeking out a house cleaner, teenage helper, babysitter, or gardener to help. For single parents, he believes this support team is extremely important and should be chosen with great care.
In my opinion, most single parents don't have the resources to hire others. After my divorce, I recruited my kids! They helped do the yard work, toiled alongside me to rehab an old house, and performed weekly chores. My oldest son chauffeured the younger kids to school events while I worked.
Discover why you need personal advisors.
Everyone needs a powerful team of personal advisors. Jack believes that your team should include a banker, lawyer, accountant, investment counselor, doctor, nutritionist, personal trainer, and religious leader. He suggests keeping in touch with these advisors monthly, quarterly, or semiannually.
If a person can afford these advisors' services, I agree that they can be very helpful. But if their fees send us to the poor house, they won't do us quite so much good. Bartering with professionals to trade their services for something we can offer may be a good option if we're strapped for cash.
Trust the team members that you've chosen.
Jack recommends off-loading anything and everything that takes you away from focusing on your core genius...even personal projects. He tells about a man who sold his home and delegated the task of leasing a one-bedroom luxury apartment to his assistant. She selected the apartment, hired a moving van, packed the fragile items, supervised the movers, hired a cleaning crew, arranged the furniture, unpacked the boxes, and put everything away. All the while, he was on vacation in Florida.
This idea of delegating so completely makes me squirm. While there are parts of moving that I dislike, such as carrying countless boxes to a third floor apartment, I actually enjoy the satisfaction of turning a vacant room into an inviting retreat.
I think that most of us would be more comfortable asking others to help us, rather than completely delegating anything and everything outside of our core genius to someone else. I believe this sense of needing to work as a team comes from I Corinthians 12.
This chapter in the Bible speaks about Christians as if they are parts of a body: The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body...there should be no division in the body, but its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. (I Cor 12:12;25-26)
We weren't put on earth to do everything by ourselves. I agree with Jack that we need helpers and advisors, but I just don't think delegating so completely is realistic or well-balanced. Jesus came to earth as a servant to all, and I think we should be willing to roll up our sleeves to do even the most mundane tasks, just as he did.
Our executive minister took time out from his very busy schedule last week to help our daughter move. By doing so, he created an opportunity to model how a mature Christian man should help others. If he had chosen to sit in his office and simply delegate this work to others, he might have missed God's purpose for the interactions that arose. Like our minister, I would much rather be a servant leader than an absentee delegator.
Today's Challenge
Begin today to build a team of helpers and advisors to make your life more manageable. Look to your religious organization and surround yourself with successful people who can help you to become all that God intended you to be.
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
Practice the Total Focus Process
Jack suggests this exercise for finding the one, two, or three activities that best utilize our core genius, bring us the most money, and produce the greatest level of enjoyment.
1) List every activity that occupies your time: business, personal, and volunteer. Include everything, even small tasks such as making phone calls and photocopying.
2) Choose one, two, or three activities that you do better than most other people. Then, choose the three activities that generate the most income. Focus on the activities that you're brilliant at and that produce the most income.
3) Create a plan for delegating everything else to other people. This may take a long time, but Jack asserts that if you keep chipping away the things that are mundane, you will create a brilliant career.
I like the idea of delegating some mundane tasks to free up time, but I don't believe that everything else should be delegated. I get my best plots for writing novels when I'm folding laundry. And Joe loves the physical exertion he gets from pushing the mower around the yard.
I'm not sure that focusing so much time on our core genius is the best plan. I can imagine people becoming very self-centered workaholics who under-appreciate the people who do all of their grunt work.
Seek out key staff members.
Becoming an entrepreneur early in life is one of the hallmarks of the most successful individuals. So, if you're a business owner, start looking for a dynamic manager who could learn everything that you do. Then, delegate less important tasks to her and concentrate on what you do best.
When I owned a drapery workroom and suddenly found myself paralyzed, I could have used a clone to take over for me. If you're running a business, please be sure that someone else can do your job. That way, if you become ill or temporarily disabled, she can step in for you so that your business can stay afloat.
If community volunteer work is your business, find others to help you. College interns and local foundations can be very supportive. I trained another quilter this summer to learn my role as team leader. It was very timely, because I was injured in a car accident, and she was able to keep the volunteers working until I could return.
For stay-at-home parents, Jack recommends seeking out a house cleaner, teenage helper, babysitter, or gardener to help. For single parents, he believes this support team is extremely important and should be chosen with great care.
In my opinion, most single parents don't have the resources to hire others. After my divorce, I recruited my kids! They helped do the yard work, toiled alongside me to rehab an old house, and performed weekly chores. My oldest son chauffeured the younger kids to school events while I worked.
Discover why you need personal advisors.
Everyone needs a powerful team of personal advisors. Jack believes that your team should include a banker, lawyer, accountant, investment counselor, doctor, nutritionist, personal trainer, and religious leader. He suggests keeping in touch with these advisors monthly, quarterly, or semiannually.
If a person can afford these advisors' services, I agree that they can be very helpful. But if their fees send us to the poor house, they won't do us quite so much good. Bartering with professionals to trade their services for something we can offer may be a good option if we're strapped for cash.
Trust the team members that you've chosen.
Jack recommends off-loading anything and everything that takes you away from focusing on your core genius...even personal projects. He tells about a man who sold his home and delegated the task of leasing a one-bedroom luxury apartment to his assistant. She selected the apartment, hired a moving van, packed the fragile items, supervised the movers, hired a cleaning crew, arranged the furniture, unpacked the boxes, and put everything away. All the while, he was on vacation in Florida.
This idea of delegating so completely makes me squirm. While there are parts of moving that I dislike, such as carrying countless boxes to a third floor apartment, I actually enjoy the satisfaction of turning a vacant room into an inviting retreat.
I think that most of us would be more comfortable asking others to help us, rather than completely delegating anything and everything outside of our core genius to someone else. I believe this sense of needing to work as a team comes from I Corinthians 12.
This chapter in the Bible speaks about Christians as if they are parts of a body: The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body...there should be no division in the body, but its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. (I Cor 12:12;25-26)
We weren't put on earth to do everything by ourselves. I agree with Jack that we need helpers and advisors, but I just don't think delegating so completely is realistic or well-balanced. Jesus came to earth as a servant to all, and I think we should be willing to roll up our sleeves to do even the most mundane tasks, just as he did.
Our executive minister took time out from his very busy schedule last week to help our daughter move. By doing so, he created an opportunity to model how a mature Christian man should help others. If he had chosen to sit in his office and simply delegate this work to others, he might have missed God's purpose for the interactions that arose. Like our minister, I would much rather be a servant leader than an absentee delegator.
Today's Challenge
Begin today to build a team of helpers and advisors to make your life more manageable. Look to your religious organization and surround yourself with successful people who can help you to become all that God intended you to be.
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
Monday, December 27, 2010
Redefine Time
Jack Canfield's Success Principle #40
Today, we learn about how Jack Canfield divides his time between work, family, and recreation. He suggests three types of days: Best Results Days, Preparation Days, and Rest and Recreation Days.
Best Results Days
To achieve our best results, we need to spend at least 80% of our time working within our core genuius. Remember, our core genius means that we're working at something we love so much, we hardly feel like charging people for it. On a Best Results Day, we're achieving the highest payoffs for the amount of time we work.
A Best Results Day for me would be one spent writing, editing, quilting, speaking, or coaching other women. The payoff could be monetary, but it can also be the fulfillment of a dream. Hearing from a reader that I've changed her life for the better is a wonderful form of payment for me. Having plenty of money is nice, but serving God's purpose for my life is even better.
Preparation Days
When we prepare ourselves for more Best Results Days, we are learning a new skill, locating a better resource, training our team, or delegating tasks to others.
Preparation Days for me would include networking with other published authors, taking classes to learn better methods for helping women to thrive, attending a writers' conference, reading books such as The Success Principles, or attending a quilt show.
Rest and Recreation (R & R) Days
An R & R Day extends from midnight to midnight. It involves absolutely no work-related activity of any kind: no business-related meetings, phone calls, cell phone calls, e-mails, text messages, or reading. We are not availabe to our co-workers, clients, or students.
By setting strict boundaries around our R & R Days, we actually help others to become more self-reliant. If we aren't there to rescue them when a problem arises, they become more creative and self-confident.
Jack believes that all R & R Days do not include children, either. He suggests that we hire a babysitter, send the kids to visit relatives, or swap child care with neighbors and friends.
I think this is unrealistic. I could never have afforded that much child care, and I wouldn't have wanted to be away from my children that much. I do believe that parents need some time away from their kids, but not on every single R & R Day of the year.
Jack believes that it should be every person's goal to have 150 days off every year. By simply taking every weekend off from work, we immediately free up 104 days of rest. Adding another 46 days off in the form of long weekends, holiday weeks, and 2-week vacations brings our total up to 150 days without work.
For most women reading this, I can imagine them rolling their eyes at this one. There's an old saying: A man can work from sun to sun, but a woman's work is never done. We may be able to curtail the business-related meetings, phone calls, emails, and reading; but we certainly cannot skip doing housework, cooking, and laundry that often. Our homes would be disaster areas, and the kids would be committing mutiny.
A wise minister's wife with eight children once told me that she had a rule about rest: no matter how much work was not completed by 7:00 in the evening, it would just have to wait for the next day. She headed for her recliner in the living room, where no children were allowed to disturb her for two hours. She spent the time reading and meditating while her husband put the kids to bed.
Joe and I have been completely out of balance in the area of R & R for years. We went to stay one night in a hotel recently when I needed to see a doctor out of state. I realized that it was the first time he and I had been alone in a hotel since our honeymoon! We have only taken one week-long vacation in ten years, and it was an exhausting disaster with our adopted daughter failing to adjust to the daily changes in her schedule.
The Travel Industry Association of America reported that the average vacation lasted 7.1 days in 1997. By 2001, it was down to 4.1 days. That report is 10 years old. I wonder how many people even take vacations anymore. Are others like we are, unable to go places due to a lack of funds? Are they tied down to two jobs, as Joe is, because our medical expenses consistently drain our reserves?
Our most pressing goal for 2011 is to work less. When we work too much, we experience burn-out, and nothing is pleasurable anymore. Taking more R & R Days can actually help us to work more efficiently, because rest helps us to see things more clearly and creatively.
Like many of Jack's success principles, this one is not new. God gave the Israelites the following command concerning rest: "For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day is a Sabbath of rest, holy to the Lord." (Ex 31:15) If we are in the habit of over-working, we can begin the new year by making sure that we at least rest on the Lord's day.
Today's Challenge
Take the following steps to achieve more Best Results Days, Preparation Days, and Rest and Recreation (R & R) Days:
1) Schedule four Preparation Days during 2011 to increase the productivity of your core genius.
2) Clear your 2011 calendar of activities that steal away time from your core genius so that you can focus on working within your life's purpose. You'll achieve far more Best Results Days by doing so.
3) Schedule at least four vacations in 2011, to include either long weekends or week-long vacations. If you don't plan them, they won't happen.
Start today to control your time. You'll be amazed by the changes in your productivity and happiness.
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
Today, we learn about how Jack Canfield divides his time between work, family, and recreation. He suggests three types of days: Best Results Days, Preparation Days, and Rest and Recreation Days.
Best Results Days
To achieve our best results, we need to spend at least 80% of our time working within our core genuius. Remember, our core genius means that we're working at something we love so much, we hardly feel like charging people for it. On a Best Results Day, we're achieving the highest payoffs for the amount of time we work.
A Best Results Day for me would be one spent writing, editing, quilting, speaking, or coaching other women. The payoff could be monetary, but it can also be the fulfillment of a dream. Hearing from a reader that I've changed her life for the better is a wonderful form of payment for me. Having plenty of money is nice, but serving God's purpose for my life is even better.
Preparation Days
When we prepare ourselves for more Best Results Days, we are learning a new skill, locating a better resource, training our team, or delegating tasks to others.
Preparation Days for me would include networking with other published authors, taking classes to learn better methods for helping women to thrive, attending a writers' conference, reading books such as The Success Principles, or attending a quilt show.
Rest and Recreation (R & R) Days
An R & R Day extends from midnight to midnight. It involves absolutely no work-related activity of any kind: no business-related meetings, phone calls, cell phone calls, e-mails, text messages, or reading. We are not availabe to our co-workers, clients, or students.
By setting strict boundaries around our R & R Days, we actually help others to become more self-reliant. If we aren't there to rescue them when a problem arises, they become more creative and self-confident.
Jack believes that all R & R Days do not include children, either. He suggests that we hire a babysitter, send the kids to visit relatives, or swap child care with neighbors and friends.
I think this is unrealistic. I could never have afforded that much child care, and I wouldn't have wanted to be away from my children that much. I do believe that parents need some time away from their kids, but not on every single R & R Day of the year.
Jack believes that it should be every person's goal to have 150 days off every year. By simply taking every weekend off from work, we immediately free up 104 days of rest. Adding another 46 days off in the form of long weekends, holiday weeks, and 2-week vacations brings our total up to 150 days without work.
For most women reading this, I can imagine them rolling their eyes at this one. There's an old saying: A man can work from sun to sun, but a woman's work is never done. We may be able to curtail the business-related meetings, phone calls, emails, and reading; but we certainly cannot skip doing housework, cooking, and laundry that often. Our homes would be disaster areas, and the kids would be committing mutiny.
A wise minister's wife with eight children once told me that she had a rule about rest: no matter how much work was not completed by 7:00 in the evening, it would just have to wait for the next day. She headed for her recliner in the living room, where no children were allowed to disturb her for two hours. She spent the time reading and meditating while her husband put the kids to bed.
Joe and I have been completely out of balance in the area of R & R for years. We went to stay one night in a hotel recently when I needed to see a doctor out of state. I realized that it was the first time he and I had been alone in a hotel since our honeymoon! We have only taken one week-long vacation in ten years, and it was an exhausting disaster with our adopted daughter failing to adjust to the daily changes in her schedule.
The Travel Industry Association of America reported that the average vacation lasted 7.1 days in 1997. By 2001, it was down to 4.1 days. That report is 10 years old. I wonder how many people even take vacations anymore. Are others like we are, unable to go places due to a lack of funds? Are they tied down to two jobs, as Joe is, because our medical expenses consistently drain our reserves?
Our most pressing goal for 2011 is to work less. When we work too much, we experience burn-out, and nothing is pleasurable anymore. Taking more R & R Days can actually help us to work more efficiently, because rest helps us to see things more clearly and creatively.
Like many of Jack's success principles, this one is not new. God gave the Israelites the following command concerning rest: "For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day is a Sabbath of rest, holy to the Lord." (Ex 31:15) If we are in the habit of over-working, we can begin the new year by making sure that we at least rest on the Lord's day.
Today's Challenge
Take the following steps to achieve more Best Results Days, Preparation Days, and Rest and Recreation (R & R) Days:
1) Schedule four Preparation Days during 2011 to increase the productivity of your core genius.
2) Clear your 2011 calendar of activities that steal away time from your core genius so that you can focus on working within your life's purpose. You'll achieve far more Best Results Days by doing so.
3) Schedule at least four vacations in 2011, to include either long weekends or week-long vacations. If you don't plan them, they won't happen.
Start today to control your time. You'll be amazed by the changes in your productivity and happiness.
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Coping with Toxic People During the Holidays
Christmas is supposed to be the happiest time of the year. But when we live with toxic people, it can be one of the most miserable. We encounter ex-spouses, extended family members, in-laws, parents, and adult children who can turn our hearts inside-out with poisonous words.
Jesus' brother, James, wrote: All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. (James 3:7-10)
It has become almost a joke in our family that it wouldn't be Christmas if someone didn't say something so hateful, it left a roomful of people in tears. This year has been no exception to that tradition. Today, we feel as one would expect to following a funeral or a tragic accident. One awful incident has followed another for several days, and we feel like people suffering from shock.
I'd like to offer some suggestions for coping with toxic people during the holidays.
1) Avoid family gatherings where the family abuser will hurt you.
Counselors and psychologists have frequently told me to avoid family gatherings during the holidays. The emotional setbacks that I experience from encounters with abusers cost me too much. The verbal abuse gets internalized, and physical symptoms arise shortly afterward.
2) Create new traditions that don't involve abusers.
If we keep doing the same thing every year for the holidays, we will continue to get the same results. Stepping into a family gathering where someone sees us as an easy target is just foolish. We can choose, instead, to spend the holiday with needy children, homeless people, prisoners, the elderly, or people in hospitals. At least they will be grateful for our presence.
In spite of the objections that we may receive from family, there is nothing wrong with choosing to spend Christmas alone in the peace and quiet of our own home. Today, I am writing this Christmas blog as my gift to you, dear reader. I pray that it will help you to cope with the sorrows that the holidays will inevitably bring. Even if no one gives you a tongue-lashing this year, I know that you may still be experiencing the pain of Christmases past.
3) Celebrate the joy of Christ's birth throughout the year.
In 2011, I'm going to celebrate one-twelfth of Christmas each month on the 25th. I'll send a letter to old friends, call family members who are safe, invite someone special to share a meal with me, or take someone on an excursion to a museum, theater, or musical event.
4) Practice excellent self care.
The best Christmas gift we can give is to take excellent care of ourselves. This means that we seek professional counseling when it is warranted, eat healthy foods, exercise regularly, get the sleep we need, take time for pleasurable activities, and connect with God daily. We can also seek the help of practitioners of massage therapy, accupuncture, healing touch, or other alternative therapies that help us to remain strong.
When we are strong, abusers don't target us as frequently. And if they do, we are better prepared to create boundaries to protect ourselves. After we have encountered someone hurtful, we can bounce back more quickly if we are already practicing good self care.
Today's Challenge
If someone has once again given you the gift of abuse this year, take time to work through the emotional pain. Remember the four steps we learned earlier for confronting the people who hurt us, if it is safe. Otherwise, practice confrontation by letter or role playing, as follows:
1) Express the anger you feel when you experience abuse;
2) Express the hurt that goes along with the anger;
3) Tell the person specifically what you need from them; and
4) Set them and yourself free with acknowledgement, forgiveness, or love.
God bless you today and every Christmas with the love and joy of knowing Christ.
Jesus' brother, James, wrote: All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. (James 3:7-10)
It has become almost a joke in our family that it wouldn't be Christmas if someone didn't say something so hateful, it left a roomful of people in tears. This year has been no exception to that tradition. Today, we feel as one would expect to following a funeral or a tragic accident. One awful incident has followed another for several days, and we feel like people suffering from shock.
I'd like to offer some suggestions for coping with toxic people during the holidays.
1) Avoid family gatherings where the family abuser will hurt you.
Counselors and psychologists have frequently told me to avoid family gatherings during the holidays. The emotional setbacks that I experience from encounters with abusers cost me too much. The verbal abuse gets internalized, and physical symptoms arise shortly afterward.
2) Create new traditions that don't involve abusers.
If we keep doing the same thing every year for the holidays, we will continue to get the same results. Stepping into a family gathering where someone sees us as an easy target is just foolish. We can choose, instead, to spend the holiday with needy children, homeless people, prisoners, the elderly, or people in hospitals. At least they will be grateful for our presence.
In spite of the objections that we may receive from family, there is nothing wrong with choosing to spend Christmas alone in the peace and quiet of our own home. Today, I am writing this Christmas blog as my gift to you, dear reader. I pray that it will help you to cope with the sorrows that the holidays will inevitably bring. Even if no one gives you a tongue-lashing this year, I know that you may still be experiencing the pain of Christmases past.
3) Celebrate the joy of Christ's birth throughout the year.
In 2011, I'm going to celebrate one-twelfth of Christmas each month on the 25th. I'll send a letter to old friends, call family members who are safe, invite someone special to share a meal with me, or take someone on an excursion to a museum, theater, or musical event.
4) Practice excellent self care.
The best Christmas gift we can give is to take excellent care of ourselves. This means that we seek professional counseling when it is warranted, eat healthy foods, exercise regularly, get the sleep we need, take time for pleasurable activities, and connect with God daily. We can also seek the help of practitioners of massage therapy, accupuncture, healing touch, or other alternative therapies that help us to remain strong.
When we are strong, abusers don't target us as frequently. And if they do, we are better prepared to create boundaries to protect ourselves. After we have encountered someone hurtful, we can bounce back more quickly if we are already practicing good self care.
Today's Challenge
If someone has once again given you the gift of abuse this year, take time to work through the emotional pain. Remember the four steps we learned earlier for confronting the people who hurt us, if it is safe. Otherwise, practice confrontation by letter or role playing, as follows:
1) Express the anger you feel when you experience abuse;
2) Express the hurt that goes along with the anger;
3) Tell the person specifically what you need from them; and
4) Set them and yourself free with acknowledgement, forgiveness, or love.
God bless you today and every Christmas with the love and joy of knowing Christ.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Stay Focused on Your Core Genius
Jack Canfield's Success Principle #39
Jack believes in something he has called core genius: the one thing that we love to do and do so well that we hardly feel right charging people money for doing it. It's effortless and a whole lot of fun.
Delegate completely for greater success.
Many successful people delegate mundane tasks to others so that they are free to pursue their core genius. People like golfer Tiger Woods, baseball great Sammy Sosa, and professional trainer Anthony Robbins all delegate. Why?
Consider that it takes Sammy Sosa about 1 second to hit a home run. At the writing of The Success Principles, he was earning $10,625,000 for about 70 seconds of batting time each year. Perfecting his core genius pays off a lot more for him than if he spends his time raking his leaves or changing his oil.
If I could earn $75 per hour and pay a neighborhood kid $10 per hour to cut the grass, why would I ever mow the lawn? Over the course of 20 weekends, I could earn an extra $65 per hour. That would net me an extra $1,300 per year.
Most people never delegate. Why? We don't believe it's right to pay others to do our work. We think people will see us as snobs, or we're afraid to give up control of what we do. This is ridiculous.
Jack stresses the importance of delegating a task completely. For instance, if I hire a teen to mow my lawn, I should tell him how I want it done at the beginning of the season. I shouldn't spend time every week explaining the tasks to him. I give him the freedom to do the work, which frees me to work on my core genius: writing.
Do what you love, and the money will follow.
The worst mistake we can make is to start out with the goal of just making a lot of money. If we diligently practice what we have a talent for doing, the money will flow our way. I know a lot of people who work in jobs that they hate, because they're trying to stay afloat. They never have time to do what they really love, because they're focused on paying the bills.
We all have to take care of ourselves, and the bills must be paid. But wouldn't it be a lot more fun to make stained glass windows, run a summer camp for kids, write novels, or design jewelry than to slave at a desk in jobs we hate?
Today's Challenge
Make a list of mundane tasks that you do every day which could be delegated to someone else. Direct your kids or your spouse to help with some of the things you do. Hire a teen to mow the lawn, shovel snow, or rake leaves. Contract with a cleaning service so that you are free to pursue your core genius. Delegate just one thing and use that time to start doing something great with your life.
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
Jack believes in something he has called core genius: the one thing that we love to do and do so well that we hardly feel right charging people money for doing it. It's effortless and a whole lot of fun.
Delegate completely for greater success.
Many successful people delegate mundane tasks to others so that they are free to pursue their core genius. People like golfer Tiger Woods, baseball great Sammy Sosa, and professional trainer Anthony Robbins all delegate. Why?
Consider that it takes Sammy Sosa about 1 second to hit a home run. At the writing of The Success Principles, he was earning $10,625,000 for about 70 seconds of batting time each year. Perfecting his core genius pays off a lot more for him than if he spends his time raking his leaves or changing his oil.
If I could earn $75 per hour and pay a neighborhood kid $10 per hour to cut the grass, why would I ever mow the lawn? Over the course of 20 weekends, I could earn an extra $65 per hour. That would net me an extra $1,300 per year.
Most people never delegate. Why? We don't believe it's right to pay others to do our work. We think people will see us as snobs, or we're afraid to give up control of what we do. This is ridiculous.
Jack stresses the importance of delegating a task completely. For instance, if I hire a teen to mow my lawn, I should tell him how I want it done at the beginning of the season. I shouldn't spend time every week explaining the tasks to him. I give him the freedom to do the work, which frees me to work on my core genius: writing.
Do what you love, and the money will follow.
The worst mistake we can make is to start out with the goal of just making a lot of money. If we diligently practice what we have a talent for doing, the money will flow our way. I know a lot of people who work in jobs that they hate, because they're trying to stay afloat. They never have time to do what they really love, because they're focused on paying the bills.
We all have to take care of ourselves, and the bills must be paid. But wouldn't it be a lot more fun to make stained glass windows, run a summer camp for kids, write novels, or design jewelry than to slave at a desk in jobs we hate?
Today's Challenge
Make a list of mundane tasks that you do every day which could be delegated to someone else. Direct your kids or your spouse to help with some of the things you do. Hire a teen to mow the lawn, shovel snow, or rake leaves. Contract with a cleaning service so that you are free to pursue your core genius. Delegate just one thing and use that time to start doing something great with your life.
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
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