We continue with our series, Removing the Roadblocks to Forgiveness, with further thoughts about God's character. So far, we have learned about his goodness, love, mercy, grace, patience, holiness, peace, and justice. Today we look at God's expectations for us to honor him.
What is honor?
Honor is special esteem or respect that we give to someone. A soldier may receive honor for his service. We pay honor to people in positions of power, such as the governor or a judge.
God expects us to give him the highest honor.
While we may honor some of the people around us whom we respect, God inists that we honor him above all other people or things. The second commandment reads, "You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God...(Exodus 20:4-5 NIV)
The Bible uses the word jealous whenever God speaks about his expectations regarding his honor. In other words, he will not put up with our placing anyone or anything ahead of him. He expects our fullest respect, similar to the way a husband might expect honor from his wife.
What is an idol?
When I was younger, I used to think that following this commandment was pretty easy. After all, I wasn't bowing down to carved idols in my backyard.
As I grew older, though, I began to realize that idols can be present in our lives without our even recognizing them. What do they look like? Idols can be our favorite TV shows, food, alcohol, gambling, electronic games, movie stars, books, cars, sports figures, goals, or even our exercise routines.
Perhaps I can clarify this with an example. Think about someone you know who is really enthusiastic about something...a golfer who hits the links daily to see how close he can come to par, a sports enthusiast who never misses a single baseball game all season, or a businesswoman who spends every waking hour knocking herself out to meet self-imposed goals.
There is nothing inherently wrong with any of these pursuits. Golf, baseball, and goal-setting are all useful activities. The trouble arises when a person ignores time with God in order to pursue them.
A good rule of thumb in determining whether idols are making God jealous is to consider how many hours each day are spent with God and how much time is spent on other interests. God expects us to give him more honor than we give to our television sets, our cars, our homes, our children, our jobs, our hobbies, and so on.
I'm not saying that we should quit our jobs and neglect our children. There is a balance in life regarding all of our responsibilities. But if we are honest with ourselves, my guess is that most of us spend far more time watching TV or pursuing our own interests than we do reading our Bibles. Our life gets out of balance and God gets jealous when we choose to spend our free time on everything except God.
Honor others more highly than yourself.
The point in studying God's expectations for honor is this: if we are imitators of God, we must learn to honor others more highly than ourselves. This comes back to an earlier post regarding pride and humility. We can never extend forgiveness to an enemy if we always regard ourselves with higher esteem than we do others.
The apostle Paul reminded early Christians, "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves." (Romans 12:10 NIV) This is easy to do with fellow believers who conduct themselves nicely. But do we really have to honor people who have abused or traumatized us?
The answer to that question in yes. With a spirit of humility, we can look inward and realize that we don't deserve special honor at all. Every one of us has sinned and deserves punishment for something we've done.
Humility is a great equalizer among members of the human race. We are all in the same predicament--deserving of God's punishment for sin. We are no different from our enemies who have deeply wounded us. They deserve our honor as much as the next guy.
How do we honor our enemies who have hurt us?
As I think about my father who molested a number of children in our family, I struggle with this concept of honoring others more highly than ourselves. I want to let my father know that I still honor him as my parent, but I don't know how to do that without confusing him. I'm afraid that if I extend a kindness to him in the form of a letter or visit, he will assume that I'm letting him off the hook for his crimes.
I suppose that the best thing I can do for the moment is to pray for my dad. I am asking God to protect him while he serves his prison sentence. And I pray that God will send good Christian volunteers and prison workers to talk to Dad about God's love for him. This seems like the safest form of honor I can extend to my father now.
Press on in your quest to forgive.
Forgiveness is such a difficult undertaking, but I believe that pursuing it pushes us to grow in many ways. We can't forgive until we fully understand God's character and how we are to imitate him.
This is no small task. But we must keep pressing on, because the rewards of forgiving are worth it. Stick with me through this. In just two weeks, we should all have a better understanding of how to forgive the one who has hurt us the most.
Today's Challenge
Think about how much of your time is spent honoring God. Do you read your Bible daily? Are you praying often? Do you participate in worship services or sing praises to him while you're alone? Do you tell others about his goodness? If not, what can you give up so that you have more time to devote to honoring God?
Friday, March 11, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
God Demands Justice
As we continue with our series, Removing the Roadblocks to Forgiveness, we learn about God's view of justice. In doing so, we strive to understand his character so that we can reach our ultimate goal of forgiving our enemies.
God is just.
God always does what is fair and right, because he himself sets the standard for what is just. Moses said of God, "He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he." (Deuteronomy 32:4 NIV)
A just God must punish sin.
Because God is just, he cannot tolerate sin. Therefore, people who practice evil acts must be punished. Sin never deserves reward; it is always wrong.
We were created in the likeness of God. As a result, we expect the world to be a place where justice reigns. This is why we cheer at the end of a movie or novel when the villain gets what's coming to him. The hero causes God's justice to prevail, so that we can believe all is right with the world.
God put judges in place to carry out his justice.
While we are all here on earth, God has devised a plan for judges to carry out his justice. They are responsible for determining punishments for those who break the law.
Sometimes, we are given the opportunity to provide judges with our input regarding our enemy's sentence. This occurred for our family recently as the judge prepared to set a jail term for my father. Members of the family were invited to write letters or speak in court about the impact of my father's crimes on their lives.
I believe there are pros and cons to this inclusion of the victim in the sentencing process. On the one hand, I believe it helps to restore a victim's personal power. If she feels that she has a say in the outcome of a criminal case, the control that the perpetrator stole from her is restored. I think that including the victim's family provides many people with the opportunity to express their grief over the losses that the crime created.
On the other hand, asking a victim to provide input for sentencing can create a new way for her to feel guilty. When the perpetrator goes to jail, the sexually abused victim may feel terrible if she has participated in the sentencing. She may even begin to worry that when the criminal is released, he will come after her to get even.
Justice brings healing to survivors of abuse or trauma.
If we have been the victim of sexual abuse or another crime, justice is an important part of our healing. When we are wounded, our spirits cry out to God for him to make things right. If our perpetrators are punished by the criminal justice system, we feel vindicated. Like the ending of a great novel, we feel satisfied that good has triumphed over evil.
While there is some sense of satisfaction in seeing our enemies pay for their crimes, there is also sadness attached to their punishment. God feels tremendous sadness when one of his children goes astray. If we are like God at all, we will feel both vindicated and sad when our perpetrator goes to jail.
I have been tracking my father's progress through the prison system since his sentencing a few weeks ago. One day, I discovered a mug shot of him online in his prison uniform. All of his life, Dad was very proud of the way he kept his hair. To my dismay, I discovered that his head had been shaved. The look on his face was so grim, I can only imagine how difficult his life has become behind bars. That picture brought me to tears.
Like most members of the family, I felt satisfied that my father was punished for his sex crimes against innocent children. But at the same time, it breaks my heart to think of my dad spending years in prison.
This situation has helped me to understand how God feels about us when we sin. His character demands that he punish evil, so he can't just ignore us when we commit evil acts. His heart breaks, just as mine does, to see someone he loves in jail.
God provided a substitute for our penalty.
John 3:16 (NIV) provides us with a way out of the punishment that we all deserve for our sins: For God so loved the world that he gave his one and ony Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
You see, God loves all of us--even sinners like my father who have been sent to jail. Out of the heartbreak that God feels over our sins, he came up with an alternative to sentencing us.
When God sent Jesus to die on the cross, he provided a substitute for our punishment. Even though we deserve to die for our sins, Christ already paid the price for us. All we have to do is acknowledge that Jesus is God's Son and then do our best to live according to God's laws.
If people refuse to believe that Jesus is God's Son, or believers refuse to conform to God's laws; they can expect to be punished for their sins. We learned previously that God is loving, merciful, gracious, and patient. It gives us all hope that he will give us as many second chances as we need to get our act together.
But make no mistake: our God who demands justice will not let us go on sinning indefinitely without disciplining us. Like any loving Father, he will figure out a punishment that will bring us back in line with what is right. If we fail to respond, our punishment may last into eternity.
Today's Challenge
Write down in your journal how you feel about justice. Do you believe that child molesters should be punished? How do you think God views criminals? Do they deserve God's mercy? Are they 'eligible' for forgiveness from God? from us?
God is just.
God always does what is fair and right, because he himself sets the standard for what is just. Moses said of God, "He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he." (Deuteronomy 32:4 NIV)
A just God must punish sin.
Because God is just, he cannot tolerate sin. Therefore, people who practice evil acts must be punished. Sin never deserves reward; it is always wrong.
We were created in the likeness of God. As a result, we expect the world to be a place where justice reigns. This is why we cheer at the end of a movie or novel when the villain gets what's coming to him. The hero causes God's justice to prevail, so that we can believe all is right with the world.
God put judges in place to carry out his justice.
While we are all here on earth, God has devised a plan for judges to carry out his justice. They are responsible for determining punishments for those who break the law.
Sometimes, we are given the opportunity to provide judges with our input regarding our enemy's sentence. This occurred for our family recently as the judge prepared to set a jail term for my father. Members of the family were invited to write letters or speak in court about the impact of my father's crimes on their lives.
I believe there are pros and cons to this inclusion of the victim in the sentencing process. On the one hand, I believe it helps to restore a victim's personal power. If she feels that she has a say in the outcome of a criminal case, the control that the perpetrator stole from her is restored. I think that including the victim's family provides many people with the opportunity to express their grief over the losses that the crime created.
On the other hand, asking a victim to provide input for sentencing can create a new way for her to feel guilty. When the perpetrator goes to jail, the sexually abused victim may feel terrible if she has participated in the sentencing. She may even begin to worry that when the criminal is released, he will come after her to get even.
Justice brings healing to survivors of abuse or trauma.
If we have been the victim of sexual abuse or another crime, justice is an important part of our healing. When we are wounded, our spirits cry out to God for him to make things right. If our perpetrators are punished by the criminal justice system, we feel vindicated. Like the ending of a great novel, we feel satisfied that good has triumphed over evil.
While there is some sense of satisfaction in seeing our enemies pay for their crimes, there is also sadness attached to their punishment. God feels tremendous sadness when one of his children goes astray. If we are like God at all, we will feel both vindicated and sad when our perpetrator goes to jail.
I have been tracking my father's progress through the prison system since his sentencing a few weeks ago. One day, I discovered a mug shot of him online in his prison uniform. All of his life, Dad was very proud of the way he kept his hair. To my dismay, I discovered that his head had been shaved. The look on his face was so grim, I can only imagine how difficult his life has become behind bars. That picture brought me to tears.
Like most members of the family, I felt satisfied that my father was punished for his sex crimes against innocent children. But at the same time, it breaks my heart to think of my dad spending years in prison.
This situation has helped me to understand how God feels about us when we sin. His character demands that he punish evil, so he can't just ignore us when we commit evil acts. His heart breaks, just as mine does, to see someone he loves in jail.
God provided a substitute for our penalty.
John 3:16 (NIV) provides us with a way out of the punishment that we all deserve for our sins: For God so loved the world that he gave his one and ony Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
You see, God loves all of us--even sinners like my father who have been sent to jail. Out of the heartbreak that God feels over our sins, he came up with an alternative to sentencing us.
When God sent Jesus to die on the cross, he provided a substitute for our punishment. Even though we deserve to die for our sins, Christ already paid the price for us. All we have to do is acknowledge that Jesus is God's Son and then do our best to live according to God's laws.
If people refuse to believe that Jesus is God's Son, or believers refuse to conform to God's laws; they can expect to be punished for their sins. We learned previously that God is loving, merciful, gracious, and patient. It gives us all hope that he will give us as many second chances as we need to get our act together.
But make no mistake: our God who demands justice will not let us go on sinning indefinitely without disciplining us. Like any loving Father, he will figure out a punishment that will bring us back in line with what is right. If we fail to respond, our punishment may last into eternity.
Today's Challenge
Write down in your journal how you feel about justice. Do you believe that child molesters should be punished? How do you think God views criminals? Do they deserve God's mercy? Are they 'eligible' for forgiveness from God? from us?
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
God Desires Peace
As we continue with our series, Removing the Roadblocks to Forgiveness, we focus today on the seventh of ten attributes that make up God's character: peace.
God's peace is more than just the absence of conflict.
While Webster's Dictionary defines peace as the absence of war or other hostilities, the concept of God's peace means so much more. God's peace is an absence of all confusion and disorder. The apostle Paul reminded believers in the early church, "For God is not a God of disorder but of peace." (I Cor 14:33 NIV)
In God's mind, peace goes far beyond the absence of war. Peace can be found in the crystals of a snowflake that are so mathematically perfect, mankind can barely fathom its creation. Peace can be seen in the way that a person comes to believing faith in Christ after numerous experiences have softened his heart. Everything that God creates is begun with peace: an orderly plan that changes confusion into understanding and brings order to chaos.
If things are chaotic or in a state of disorder, it is because mankind's sin has created confusion. For instance, God desires marriage to be the union of one man and one woman for a lifetime. We've created chaos with same-sex marriages and divorce. People who abuse their spouses or molest their children are disturbing the peace that God wants for marriage and family.
God never stops working to orchestrate peace.
God is fully in control of maintaining a well-ordered world. He uses his infinite wisdom, knowledge, and power to bring about countless activities that have the potential to create greater peace. God never stops working, as we can see in Psalm 121:4 (NIV): He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
Sometimes, our lives feel as if they are completely out of control. Abuse can leave us feeling so bitter toward our enemy and toward God that we don't know how to regain balance. In spite of our confusion, God is never perplexed about what to do with any given situation. But we must turn to him for answers about how to get our lives back in alignment with his plans for peace.
God wants us to imitate him to bring about his peace.
Christians can use Galatians 5:22 (NIV) as a measuring stick for determining whether or not they are imitating God's character. The verse reads, But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control.
As a tree bears edible fruit, Christians are called to bear spiritual fruit--actions which allow the rest of the world to see that they are imitators of Jesus Christ. What are you doing to bring about God's peace in your corner of the world?
Forgiveness requires us to understand God's peace.
When we attempt to forgive people who have abused or traumatized us, it can be very difficult if we don't apply these principles of God's peace to the situation. Remember, God's peace doesn't necessarily mean an absence of conflict.
In fact, Jesus said, "Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; a man's enemies will be the members of his own household. (Matthew 10:34-36 NIV)
Jesus was pointing out in this passage that there cannot be peace between his children and the devil's children. Conflict occurs all the time between members of the same household, because some follow God's ways, and others follow Satan's ways.
When members of our family filed charges against my father for sexually abusing them, believe me when I say that these actions did not bring about peace. Conflict of the greatest magnitude imaginable ensued.
But the conflict didn't begin with the legal charges; it began with my father's sin of molesting innocent children. There was no outward sign of conflict until the grandchildren pointed out that there was disagreement between God's plan for order and their grandfather's actions.
If we attempt to create peace (an absence of conflict) between people of the Light and people who prefer darkness; we put ourselves into an impossible situation where we will never experience God's peaceful order. Hiding the truth about childhood sexual abuse or refusing to take a stand against it will not bring about peace. Don't confuse God's plans for peace with our plans to avoid conflict.
Today's Challenge
Are you the type of person who avoids conflict at all costs? Doing so may be costing you true peace. God may be allowing conflict in your life to teach you how to re-establish his design for order. If your life is chaotic, look to God's Word for clues about how your plans might be out of sync with his. Burying the truth about childhood sexual abuse under avoidance, overwork, or addictions will not make it go away. Make whatever changes are necessary to re-establish order according to God's ways, not yours.
God's peace is more than just the absence of conflict.
While Webster's Dictionary defines peace as the absence of war or other hostilities, the concept of God's peace means so much more. God's peace is an absence of all confusion and disorder. The apostle Paul reminded believers in the early church, "For God is not a God of disorder but of peace." (I Cor 14:33 NIV)
In God's mind, peace goes far beyond the absence of war. Peace can be found in the crystals of a snowflake that are so mathematically perfect, mankind can barely fathom its creation. Peace can be seen in the way that a person comes to believing faith in Christ after numerous experiences have softened his heart. Everything that God creates is begun with peace: an orderly plan that changes confusion into understanding and brings order to chaos.
If things are chaotic or in a state of disorder, it is because mankind's sin has created confusion. For instance, God desires marriage to be the union of one man and one woman for a lifetime. We've created chaos with same-sex marriages and divorce. People who abuse their spouses or molest their children are disturbing the peace that God wants for marriage and family.
God never stops working to orchestrate peace.
God is fully in control of maintaining a well-ordered world. He uses his infinite wisdom, knowledge, and power to bring about countless activities that have the potential to create greater peace. God never stops working, as we can see in Psalm 121:4 (NIV): He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
Sometimes, our lives feel as if they are completely out of control. Abuse can leave us feeling so bitter toward our enemy and toward God that we don't know how to regain balance. In spite of our confusion, God is never perplexed about what to do with any given situation. But we must turn to him for answers about how to get our lives back in alignment with his plans for peace.
God wants us to imitate him to bring about his peace.
Christians can use Galatians 5:22 (NIV) as a measuring stick for determining whether or not they are imitating God's character. The verse reads, But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control.
As a tree bears edible fruit, Christians are called to bear spiritual fruit--actions which allow the rest of the world to see that they are imitators of Jesus Christ. What are you doing to bring about God's peace in your corner of the world?
Forgiveness requires us to understand God's peace.
When we attempt to forgive people who have abused or traumatized us, it can be very difficult if we don't apply these principles of God's peace to the situation. Remember, God's peace doesn't necessarily mean an absence of conflict.
In fact, Jesus said, "Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; a man's enemies will be the members of his own household. (Matthew 10:34-36 NIV)
Jesus was pointing out in this passage that there cannot be peace between his children and the devil's children. Conflict occurs all the time between members of the same household, because some follow God's ways, and others follow Satan's ways.
When members of our family filed charges against my father for sexually abusing them, believe me when I say that these actions did not bring about peace. Conflict of the greatest magnitude imaginable ensued.
But the conflict didn't begin with the legal charges; it began with my father's sin of molesting innocent children. There was no outward sign of conflict until the grandchildren pointed out that there was disagreement between God's plan for order and their grandfather's actions.
If we attempt to create peace (an absence of conflict) between people of the Light and people who prefer darkness; we put ourselves into an impossible situation where we will never experience God's peaceful order. Hiding the truth about childhood sexual abuse or refusing to take a stand against it will not bring about peace. Don't confuse God's plans for peace with our plans to avoid conflict.
Today's Challenge
Are you the type of person who avoids conflict at all costs? Doing so may be costing you true peace. God may be allowing conflict in your life to teach you how to re-establish his design for order. If your life is chaotic, look to God's Word for clues about how your plans might be out of sync with his. Burying the truth about childhood sexual abuse under avoidance, overwork, or addictions will not make it go away. Make whatever changes are necessary to re-establish order according to God's ways, not yours.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
God is Holy
We continue with our study of God's character. So far, we have covered his attributes of goodness, love, mercy, grace, and patience. Today, we learn what it means to be holy, as God is.
This understanding of God's attributes is prerequisite to learning how to forgive. This is a continuation of my series, Removing the Roadblocks to Forgiveness.
What does it mean to be holy?
Webster defines holy as: 1) belonging to, derived from, or associated with a divine power; 2) worthy of worship; 3) living according to a strict or highly moral religious or spiritual system; and 4) set apart for a religious purpose. To be holy means that someone or something is separated from sin and seeks to bring glory to God.
Everything associated with God is holy.
Exodus 3:3 (NIV) describes how the Israelites were supposed to construct God's tabernacle, which included the Holy of Holies:
Hang the curtain from the clasps and place the ark of the Testimony behind the curtain. The curtain will separate the Holy Place from the Most Holy Place.
God's Most Holy Place was a 15 x 15 x 15 foot cubicle where the Ark of the Covenant contained the Ten Commandments. God himself had previously inscribed these laws in stone. This was one place in Israel that was to be kept most separated from sin and evil. It was fully devoted to God's service.
God himself is holy.
God's holiness means that he is completely separated from sin and devoted to seeking his own honor. God placed angels in his service who contantly call to one another:
Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty;
The whole earth is full of his glory. (Isaiah 6:3 NIV)
God calls us to be holy.
God directed Moses to tell his people: "Be holy, because I, the Lord your God, am holy." (Exodus 19:2 NIV) This meant that the Israelites were supposed to keep themselves separate from anything evil or sinful and to devote themselves to glorifying God.
As New Testament believers, we are called to separate ourselves from the negative influence that comes from close association with unbelievers. As a survivor of abuse, this point came across clearly to me one day as I was struggling to understand why I could never seem to get along with my first husband or my parents. I read 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 (NIV), and a light bulb went on for me:
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God.
As God has said: "I will live with them and walk aong them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people. Therefore, come out from them and be separate," says the Lord, "Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters."
These words brought such clarity and comfort to me that I was dumbstruck. Of course I couldn't get along with people who had abused me! They were not walking in the light of God's love, and I was trying to.
I imagined Jesus trying to walk hand in hand with Satan. The Lord would never do something so ridiculous, and yet I had been trying to do exactly that my entire life.
This Scripture passage set me free, because it gave me permission to separate myself from people whose lives were steeped in sin. I realized that people from within our own families may not be suitable companions for us.
And when we find ourselves emotionally without family, God steps in with the promise to be our Father. This passage alays brings me comfort, because no matter how my family members may treat me here on earth, God calls me his daughter.
Separated from sin and devoted to God
A few years ago, I spent some time in an Amish community. As I got to know the people, I began to understand why they felt so strongly about isolating themselves from the world. They reject alliances with businesses such as the energy company, a water supplier, and even bankers; because they view these groups as sinful. The Amish do not wish to be subject to the authority of businesses, but only to the authority of God.
While I think the Amish practice of such strict isolation is a bit extreme, it provides us with food for thought. What alliances have we forged which may not be pleasing to God or bringing him glory?
Sin is as contagious as influenza.
This week, Joe and I have been infected with influenza. We have been directed by our doctor to separate ourselves from others until we are free of fever for at least 24 hours. Our friends are wise to stay away from our home until we are well.
Sin is a lot like influenza. If we aren't careful, we can be 'infected' by the sinful influence of others around us. We may drift far from God without even realizing it if we are living with someone who does not live to glorify God.
If we are living with an abuser who does not glorify God or respect us, we are putting ourselves at great spiritual risk. Allowing ourselves to be abused does not honor God, who lives within us. If we are God's temple, we must separate ourselves from people who seek to harm us.
Today's Challenge
Look around yourself today and think about relationships that may be taking you far from God. What can you do to separate yourself from evil? How can you better devote yourself to glorifying God? Write down in your journal what you can do differently to live a life that is holy and pleasing to God.
This understanding of God's attributes is prerequisite to learning how to forgive. This is a continuation of my series, Removing the Roadblocks to Forgiveness.
What does it mean to be holy?
Webster defines holy as: 1) belonging to, derived from, or associated with a divine power; 2) worthy of worship; 3) living according to a strict or highly moral religious or spiritual system; and 4) set apart for a religious purpose. To be holy means that someone or something is separated from sin and seeks to bring glory to God.
Everything associated with God is holy.
Exodus 3:3 (NIV) describes how the Israelites were supposed to construct God's tabernacle, which included the Holy of Holies:
Hang the curtain from the clasps and place the ark of the Testimony behind the curtain. The curtain will separate the Holy Place from the Most Holy Place.
God's Most Holy Place was a 15 x 15 x 15 foot cubicle where the Ark of the Covenant contained the Ten Commandments. God himself had previously inscribed these laws in stone. This was one place in Israel that was to be kept most separated from sin and evil. It was fully devoted to God's service.
God himself is holy.
God's holiness means that he is completely separated from sin and devoted to seeking his own honor. God placed angels in his service who contantly call to one another:
Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty;
The whole earth is full of his glory. (Isaiah 6:3 NIV)
God calls us to be holy.
God directed Moses to tell his people: "Be holy, because I, the Lord your God, am holy." (Exodus 19:2 NIV) This meant that the Israelites were supposed to keep themselves separate from anything evil or sinful and to devote themselves to glorifying God.
As New Testament believers, we are called to separate ourselves from the negative influence that comes from close association with unbelievers. As a survivor of abuse, this point came across clearly to me one day as I was struggling to understand why I could never seem to get along with my first husband or my parents. I read 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 (NIV), and a light bulb went on for me:
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God.
As God has said: "I will live with them and walk aong them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people. Therefore, come out from them and be separate," says the Lord, "Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters."
These words brought such clarity and comfort to me that I was dumbstruck. Of course I couldn't get along with people who had abused me! They were not walking in the light of God's love, and I was trying to.
I imagined Jesus trying to walk hand in hand with Satan. The Lord would never do something so ridiculous, and yet I had been trying to do exactly that my entire life.
This Scripture passage set me free, because it gave me permission to separate myself from people whose lives were steeped in sin. I realized that people from within our own families may not be suitable companions for us.
And when we find ourselves emotionally without family, God steps in with the promise to be our Father. This passage alays brings me comfort, because no matter how my family members may treat me here on earth, God calls me his daughter.
Separated from sin and devoted to God
A few years ago, I spent some time in an Amish community. As I got to know the people, I began to understand why they felt so strongly about isolating themselves from the world. They reject alliances with businesses such as the energy company, a water supplier, and even bankers; because they view these groups as sinful. The Amish do not wish to be subject to the authority of businesses, but only to the authority of God.
While I think the Amish practice of such strict isolation is a bit extreme, it provides us with food for thought. What alliances have we forged which may not be pleasing to God or bringing him glory?
Sin is as contagious as influenza.
This week, Joe and I have been infected with influenza. We have been directed by our doctor to separate ourselves from others until we are free of fever for at least 24 hours. Our friends are wise to stay away from our home until we are well.
Sin is a lot like influenza. If we aren't careful, we can be 'infected' by the sinful influence of others around us. We may drift far from God without even realizing it if we are living with someone who does not live to glorify God.
If we are living with an abuser who does not glorify God or respect us, we are putting ourselves at great spiritual risk. Allowing ourselves to be abused does not honor God, who lives within us. If we are God's temple, we must separate ourselves from people who seek to harm us.
Today's Challenge
Look around yourself today and think about relationships that may be taking you far from God. What can you do to separate yourself from evil? How can you better devote yourself to glorifying God? Write down in your journal what you can do differently to live a life that is holy and pleasing to God.
Monday, March 7, 2011
God is Patient
We continue this week with our series, Removing the Roadblocks to Forgiveness. In our attempt to forgive our enemies, we seek to understand what it means to be righteous. Therefore, we are taking time to define God's character. So far, we have learned about his goodness, love, mercy, and grace. This week, we will look at God's patience, holiness, peace, justice, and protection. Today, we focus on his patience.
What is patience?
Webster's Dictionary tells us that patience is the capacity of calm endurance. The words patience and forbearance denote tolerance of something or somebody over a period of time, generally without complaint, through not necessarily without annoyance. Patience is an admirable endurance of a trying situation or person, usually through a passiveness which comes out of understanding. Forbearance denotes restraint, usually in the face of considerable provocation.
God is patient with us.
There are numerous Bible verses which indicate that God is patient and slow to anger. Psalm 86:15 (NIV) reads, But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.
The apostle Paul summed up Christ's patience with us in I Timothy 1:15-16 (NIV):
Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners--of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.
Like Paul, we sin so much that we try Christ's patience. But the Lord continues to show us mercy while we strive to become more like him, just as Paul did.
We must be patient with others.
If Christ is patient with us so that we can get our acts together in order to receive eternal life, it stands to reason that he is probably equally patient with our enemies. And if Christ can be patient with the people who hurt us deeply, then we must strive to be patient with them, too.
I really like the phrase slow to anger. If we think about what happens when we are impatient, it generally means that we are angry that someone isn't doing something fast enough to suit us.
If our perpetrator has not yet apologized to us, offered some form of restitution, or initiated reconciliation, we need to be patient with him. That means that we cannot become angry when he doesn't act according to our schedule. When the time is right, he may make the decision to surrender his life to Christ and begin the work necessary to restore relationships.
Practice patience in little ways.
Waiting for an enemy to apologize and make amends may take more patience than we can muster. In the meantime, we can develop greater patience by practicing it with others in small ways.
When the insurance company representative puts you on hold for your entire lunch break, remember to wait patiently and skip getting angry. When you're stuck in traffic for hours, focus on breathing deeply or listening to soothing music instead of raging at the cars ahead that aren't moving. When your child dawdles over cleaning up his room, give him the time he needs to accomplish the task. And when your spouse rambles on about something you really don't want to hear, give him your full attention.
People may try our patience and annoy us with their slowness. But if we want to be like God, we must learn to become more tolerant of irritating people, avoid complaining about them, understand why they are slower than we are, and refrain from rash judgments about them.
Forgiveness requires patience.
If we want to forgive someone, we must practice patience. Our enemy may need a lifetime to figure out how deeply he has hurt us and how important it is to us that he apologize. He may never reach these conclusions, but that doesn't matter. What is important is that we wait patiently for him to do his part as we work on our part in the forgiveness process.
Today's Challenge
In your journal, write down a list of people or things that try your patience. Next, make a second list of ways that you can practice greater tolerance, avoid complaining about these annoyances, understand why others may need more time than you do, or how you can better practice being slow to anger as God is.
What is patience?
Webster's Dictionary tells us that patience is the capacity of calm endurance. The words patience and forbearance denote tolerance of something or somebody over a period of time, generally without complaint, through not necessarily without annoyance. Patience is an admirable endurance of a trying situation or person, usually through a passiveness which comes out of understanding. Forbearance denotes restraint, usually in the face of considerable provocation.
God is patient with us.
There are numerous Bible verses which indicate that God is patient and slow to anger. Psalm 86:15 (NIV) reads, But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.
The apostle Paul summed up Christ's patience with us in I Timothy 1:15-16 (NIV):
Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners--of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.
Like Paul, we sin so much that we try Christ's patience. But the Lord continues to show us mercy while we strive to become more like him, just as Paul did.
We must be patient with others.
If Christ is patient with us so that we can get our acts together in order to receive eternal life, it stands to reason that he is probably equally patient with our enemies. And if Christ can be patient with the people who hurt us deeply, then we must strive to be patient with them, too.
I really like the phrase slow to anger. If we think about what happens when we are impatient, it generally means that we are angry that someone isn't doing something fast enough to suit us.
If our perpetrator has not yet apologized to us, offered some form of restitution, or initiated reconciliation, we need to be patient with him. That means that we cannot become angry when he doesn't act according to our schedule. When the time is right, he may make the decision to surrender his life to Christ and begin the work necessary to restore relationships.
Practice patience in little ways.
Waiting for an enemy to apologize and make amends may take more patience than we can muster. In the meantime, we can develop greater patience by practicing it with others in small ways.
When the insurance company representative puts you on hold for your entire lunch break, remember to wait patiently and skip getting angry. When you're stuck in traffic for hours, focus on breathing deeply or listening to soothing music instead of raging at the cars ahead that aren't moving. When your child dawdles over cleaning up his room, give him the time he needs to accomplish the task. And when your spouse rambles on about something you really don't want to hear, give him your full attention.
People may try our patience and annoy us with their slowness. But if we want to be like God, we must learn to become more tolerant of irritating people, avoid complaining about them, understand why they are slower than we are, and refrain from rash judgments about them.
Forgiveness requires patience.
If we want to forgive someone, we must practice patience. Our enemy may need a lifetime to figure out how deeply he has hurt us and how important it is to us that he apologize. He may never reach these conclusions, but that doesn't matter. What is important is that we wait patiently for him to do his part as we work on our part in the forgiveness process.
Today's Challenge
In your journal, write down a list of people or things that try your patience. Next, make a second list of ways that you can practice greater tolerance, avoid complaining about these annoyances, understand why others may need more time than you do, or how you can better practice being slow to anger as God is.
Friday, March 4, 2011
God is Full of Grace
We are discussing God's character this week in an attempt to better understand why we must become like him in order to forgive others. Yesterday, we learned about mercy, which is God's goodness expressed toward people in misery or distress. Today, we will look at grace, which is God's expression of goodness toward those who deserve only punishment.
What is grace?
Webster's Dictionary defines grace as: 1) unmerited divine assistance given man for his regeneration or sanctification; 2) a virtue coming from God; and 3) a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine grace.
This means that God grants unearned favors to people so that they can avoid punishment. God can give us daily grace for the sins we commit, and he can give us eternal grace in place of the punishment that we deserve.
God chooses the recipients of his grace.
God freely gives his unmerited favor to those whom he chooses. He said in Exodus 33:19 (NIV): "I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion."
We cannot work to earn grace.
The apostle Paul emphasized that grace is the opposite of human effort. God chooses some people to be recipients of his grace, while others miss out on it: At the present time there is a remnant chosen by grace. And if by grace, then it is no longer by works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace. (Romans 11:5-6 NIV) In other words, we cannot earn grace through any human effort; God gets to decide who receives his free gift of grace.
Some churches teach incorrectly that we are justified by grace plus some merit of our own. Examples of this merit include confessions, hardships, penalties, or compensation that believers must pay in order to be pardoned by a priest. The Bible tells us clearly that we cannot win God's grace through any efforts such as these.
The beginning of God's grace is faith in Christ.
The Bible clearly teaches that faith in Christ is a requirement for all people who want God's grace. Paul's letter to the Roman church states, This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. (Romans 3:22-23 NIV)
Paul's message is clear: everyone needs God's grace, because everyone sins. And the only way to get grace is to have faith in Jesus Christ.
What is faith?
Faith means that we quit relying on ourselves and trust in our heavenly Father to provide for us. It means that we quit demanding guarantees in life and start taking action, even when we aren't sure of the outcome.
For survivors of abuse who are perfectionists, faith becomes a huge challenge. Our earthly parents were not the type of people anyone would trust. If our human fathers molested us, why would we ever put our trust in a God who is called Father?
I understand this fear, because I have struggled with it for most of my life. But we cannot allow our experiences with our earthly fathers to destroy the beautiful relationship that God has in store for us. To do so allows our earthly fathers to maintain power over us.
Sadly, some women who were sexually abused make the decision that they will never trust any man, including God. Some victims choose other women as sexual partners after being victimized by men. I understand the hurt that leads to this type of behavior, but avoiding all men is not the answer, nor is homosexuality. The Bible clearly states in I Corinthians 6:9-10 (NIV):
Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
Trusting in God to grant us grace must come before we can forgive.
Clearly, the inability to trust in God stands as a roadblock to forgiving others. Unless we first understand and experience God's grace for ourselves, we cannot fathom how he could possibly give that gift to people who molest children or commit crimes against us.
The continuing of God's grace is through obedience to God's commands.
For most of my life, the concept of grace has stood as a roadblock to forgiveness for me. It wasn't until I met Joe that I began to understand why.
I was raised in a church which taught that grace was free to anyone if they merely believed in Christ. I knew that my father was a child molester, and my mother was an alcoholic abuser. And yet, they claimed weekly to have earned God's unmerited favor through their confession of sins at church. This just did not make sense to me.
When I married Joe, we attended a church that taught the full meaning of grace. It begins with faith, but it continues with obedience to God's commands. A light dawned for me! My parents had only figured out the first step as potential recipients of God's grace. They had never caught on to the fact that their continued disobedience to God's laws could cause them to miss out on his grace.
If we truly have faith in Christ--trust in God and not in ourselves--it produces obedience to God's commands. The Bible clearly tells us, Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. (James 2:17 NIV)
My siblings and I finally understand why our parents do not enjoy God's grace: Mom and Dad profess belief in Christ, but they are not living in obedience to God's laws. As James pointed out above, this type of faith is dead.
How do we learn to trust again so that we can receive God's grace?
We may ask how it is possible for us to ever trust someone again after being victimized by an abuser. The answer lies in the fact that God graciously gives us the Holy Spirit to empower us. Paul wrote, But by the grace of God I am what I am.(2 Cor 3:6 NIV)
For me, learning to trust again began with leaving my abusive first husband and distancing myself from my parents. It's impossible to trust anyone when every day begins with a fight for survival.
The ability to trust grew when I made the decision to dig deeper into God's Word. I began attending a church that offered Bible studies, and I spent time reading the Bible each day at home. The children and I prayed together more.
Over time, I began to trust others at church--believers in Christ who proved to be loving and supportive. As I made friends with safe people, I eventually met a couple who knew Joe. I had vowed that I would never trust another man, but Joe was different. I had never met a man with such a strong sense of commitment to protecting others from harm. For the first time in my life, I felt safe within a relationship.
When we meet someone like Joe, we get a glimpse of God's character. As we spend time with Godly people, we begin to understand God's grace. When we make mistakes and apologize, Christian friends are quick to forgive. And their love doesn't depend on our pleasing them, as it did with the abusers from our past. We learn through our relationships with other mature believers that God can be trusted and that his grace is freely offered to anyone who professes belief in Christ and obeys God's laws with the help of the Holy Spirit.
Today's Challenge
If you cannot trust in God, begin praying today that he will help you to believe in Jesus and to surrender control of your life to him. He will empower you through the Holy Spirit to have faith. Other believers can help you in your quest to experience all of God's attributes, including grace. Find a church that teaches only the Bible, and God's goodness will lead you onward.
What is grace?
Webster's Dictionary defines grace as: 1) unmerited divine assistance given man for his regeneration or sanctification; 2) a virtue coming from God; and 3) a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine grace.
This means that God grants unearned favors to people so that they can avoid punishment. God can give us daily grace for the sins we commit, and he can give us eternal grace in place of the punishment that we deserve.
God chooses the recipients of his grace.
God freely gives his unmerited favor to those whom he chooses. He said in Exodus 33:19 (NIV): "I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion."
We cannot work to earn grace.
The apostle Paul emphasized that grace is the opposite of human effort. God chooses some people to be recipients of his grace, while others miss out on it: At the present time there is a remnant chosen by grace. And if by grace, then it is no longer by works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace. (Romans 11:5-6 NIV) In other words, we cannot earn grace through any human effort; God gets to decide who receives his free gift of grace.
Some churches teach incorrectly that we are justified by grace plus some merit of our own. Examples of this merit include confessions, hardships, penalties, or compensation that believers must pay in order to be pardoned by a priest. The Bible tells us clearly that we cannot win God's grace through any efforts such as these.
The beginning of God's grace is faith in Christ.
The Bible clearly teaches that faith in Christ is a requirement for all people who want God's grace. Paul's letter to the Roman church states, This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. (Romans 3:22-23 NIV)
Paul's message is clear: everyone needs God's grace, because everyone sins. And the only way to get grace is to have faith in Jesus Christ.
What is faith?
Faith means that we quit relying on ourselves and trust in our heavenly Father to provide for us. It means that we quit demanding guarantees in life and start taking action, even when we aren't sure of the outcome.
For survivors of abuse who are perfectionists, faith becomes a huge challenge. Our earthly parents were not the type of people anyone would trust. If our human fathers molested us, why would we ever put our trust in a God who is called Father?
I understand this fear, because I have struggled with it for most of my life. But we cannot allow our experiences with our earthly fathers to destroy the beautiful relationship that God has in store for us. To do so allows our earthly fathers to maintain power over us.
Sadly, some women who were sexually abused make the decision that they will never trust any man, including God. Some victims choose other women as sexual partners after being victimized by men. I understand the hurt that leads to this type of behavior, but avoiding all men is not the answer, nor is homosexuality. The Bible clearly states in I Corinthians 6:9-10 (NIV):
Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
Trusting in God to grant us grace must come before we can forgive.
Clearly, the inability to trust in God stands as a roadblock to forgiving others. Unless we first understand and experience God's grace for ourselves, we cannot fathom how he could possibly give that gift to people who molest children or commit crimes against us.
The continuing of God's grace is through obedience to God's commands.
For most of my life, the concept of grace has stood as a roadblock to forgiveness for me. It wasn't until I met Joe that I began to understand why.
I was raised in a church which taught that grace was free to anyone if they merely believed in Christ. I knew that my father was a child molester, and my mother was an alcoholic abuser. And yet, they claimed weekly to have earned God's unmerited favor through their confession of sins at church. This just did not make sense to me.
When I married Joe, we attended a church that taught the full meaning of grace. It begins with faith, but it continues with obedience to God's commands. A light dawned for me! My parents had only figured out the first step as potential recipients of God's grace. They had never caught on to the fact that their continued disobedience to God's laws could cause them to miss out on his grace.
If we truly have faith in Christ--trust in God and not in ourselves--it produces obedience to God's commands. The Bible clearly tells us, Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. (James 2:17 NIV)
My siblings and I finally understand why our parents do not enjoy God's grace: Mom and Dad profess belief in Christ, but they are not living in obedience to God's laws. As James pointed out above, this type of faith is dead.
How do we learn to trust again so that we can receive God's grace?
We may ask how it is possible for us to ever trust someone again after being victimized by an abuser. The answer lies in the fact that God graciously gives us the Holy Spirit to empower us. Paul wrote, But by the grace of God I am what I am.(2 Cor 3:6 NIV)
For me, learning to trust again began with leaving my abusive first husband and distancing myself from my parents. It's impossible to trust anyone when every day begins with a fight for survival.
The ability to trust grew when I made the decision to dig deeper into God's Word. I began attending a church that offered Bible studies, and I spent time reading the Bible each day at home. The children and I prayed together more.
Over time, I began to trust others at church--believers in Christ who proved to be loving and supportive. As I made friends with safe people, I eventually met a couple who knew Joe. I had vowed that I would never trust another man, but Joe was different. I had never met a man with such a strong sense of commitment to protecting others from harm. For the first time in my life, I felt safe within a relationship.
When we meet someone like Joe, we get a glimpse of God's character. As we spend time with Godly people, we begin to understand God's grace. When we make mistakes and apologize, Christian friends are quick to forgive. And their love doesn't depend on our pleasing them, as it did with the abusers from our past. We learn through our relationships with other mature believers that God can be trusted and that his grace is freely offered to anyone who professes belief in Christ and obeys God's laws with the help of the Holy Spirit.
Today's Challenge
If you cannot trust in God, begin praying today that he will help you to believe in Jesus and to surrender control of your life to him. He will empower you through the Holy Spirit to have faith. Other believers can help you in your quest to experience all of God's attributes, including grace. Find a church that teaches only the Bible, and God's goodness will lead you onward.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
God is Merciful
We continue this week with our series, Removing the Roadblocks to Forgiveness. Today, we learn about God's mercy and how we can apply it in our journey to forgive our enemies.
Mercy is a form of God's goodness.
God's mercy is his way of expressing his goodness to people who are in misery or distress. We can think of God's overall goodness as the broad stroke of a brush; and mercy as more specific details directed to special places in the great painting of life.
Webster's defines mercy as: 1) compassion or forbearance shown especially to an offender or one subject to one's power; 2) a blessing that is an act of divine favor or compassion, or 3)compassionate treatment of those in distress.
The first definition, in my opinion, is more suitable when discussing God's grace. We will discuss that tomorrow. For now, we focus on mercy as God's way of expressing compassion to his people.
God shows compassion through divine acts of mercy.
Two blind men sought out Jesus, saying, "Have mercy on us, Son of David!" (Matthew 9:27 NIV) Jesus felt compassion for them and restored their sight.
When my daughter was two years old, I was diagnosed with stage four cancer. I cried out to God for mercy, begging him to give me more time to raise my child. He was merciful and healed me of the cancer that should have taken my life in a short time.
God comforts us when we are in distress.
God has comforted his people since the beginning of time, and he still does so today. I once moved to a strange city with a brand-new baby. God sent a minister to visit me one day when I was feeling hopeless and lonely. When I have been confined to the hospital, God has sent volunteers to pray with me and read the Bible to me. When I was injured by a drunk driver last year, he sent church members to cook meals, clean my house, and visit with me.
When children experience sexual abuse or we suffer from an unexpected trauma, God provides us with comfort. In my case, God has erased many of the details from memory to protect me from the pain of knowing that my father was not my protector, but my molester. The Lord has sent many women with beautiful spirits into my life to provide the love and nurturing that my own mother never could. Perhaps if you look back over your own life, you can see instances when God was there to comfort you.
We can offer mercy to others because God is merciful to us.
I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of God's mercy. So, it's relatively easy for me to extend it to others. I lead a quilting ministry through our church, and we use this as our key Bible passage in all communications that accompany the quilts, which we give to terminally ill patients at local hospitals:
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV)
God calls us to be merciful, even toward our enemies.
God expects all of us to extend mercy to others..,even our enemies. In Matthew 5:7 (NIV), Jesus said, "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy." You may be wondering how on earth we are supposed to extend mercy to our perpetrators.
The way I look at it, the criminal justice system has done its work to punish my father for molesting my daughter. He is now in jail and will remain there for a number of years. It is not my responsibility to punish him, but to extend God's mercy to him.
At the very least, I can pray for my father's safety, asking God to have compassion on him as he struggles to adjust to living in the confines of a small space with other dangerous criminals. I wouldn't want to spend my twilight years sleeping on a thin, hard mattress or eating institutional food with armed guards hovering nearby. It breaks my heart to think of anyone living under such conditions, and most especially my own father.
Over time, the prison psychologist may invite members of the family to attend counseling sessions with my father. I would cooperate with the prison staff, provided they felt that my father was truly ready to begin working on restitution within the family.
Until then, I can send cards to encourage my father, magazine articles about God's love for him, and other long-distance messages aimed at helping him surrender his life to Christ. I would do this, not as a means of re-establishing a relationship with my father, but to extend God's mercy to him.
A word of caution
It's important to realize that there is an appropriate time and place for expressing mercy to abusers. If it is given without their first achieving a sense of genuine remorse, we could be setting ourselves up for further abuse. Please be mindful of your physical, emotional, and spiritual safety before offering mercy to violent, controlling, or abusive people. Get a qualified therapist to help you if you decide to move forward in this regard.
Today's Challenge
In your journal, list all of the ways that God has shown you mercy. Then, write down how you extend that mercy to others. List some ways that you can extend mercy to your enemy without endangering yourself.
Mercy is a form of God's goodness.
God's mercy is his way of expressing his goodness to people who are in misery or distress. We can think of God's overall goodness as the broad stroke of a brush; and mercy as more specific details directed to special places in the great painting of life.
Webster's defines mercy as: 1) compassion or forbearance shown especially to an offender or one subject to one's power; 2) a blessing that is an act of divine favor or compassion, or 3)compassionate treatment of those in distress.
The first definition, in my opinion, is more suitable when discussing God's grace. We will discuss that tomorrow. For now, we focus on mercy as God's way of expressing compassion to his people.
God shows compassion through divine acts of mercy.
Two blind men sought out Jesus, saying, "Have mercy on us, Son of David!" (Matthew 9:27 NIV) Jesus felt compassion for them and restored their sight.
When my daughter was two years old, I was diagnosed with stage four cancer. I cried out to God for mercy, begging him to give me more time to raise my child. He was merciful and healed me of the cancer that should have taken my life in a short time.
God comforts us when we are in distress.
God has comforted his people since the beginning of time, and he still does so today. I once moved to a strange city with a brand-new baby. God sent a minister to visit me one day when I was feeling hopeless and lonely. When I have been confined to the hospital, God has sent volunteers to pray with me and read the Bible to me. When I was injured by a drunk driver last year, he sent church members to cook meals, clean my house, and visit with me.
When children experience sexual abuse or we suffer from an unexpected trauma, God provides us with comfort. In my case, God has erased many of the details from memory to protect me from the pain of knowing that my father was not my protector, but my molester. The Lord has sent many women with beautiful spirits into my life to provide the love and nurturing that my own mother never could. Perhaps if you look back over your own life, you can see instances when God was there to comfort you.
We can offer mercy to others because God is merciful to us.
I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of God's mercy. So, it's relatively easy for me to extend it to others. I lead a quilting ministry through our church, and we use this as our key Bible passage in all communications that accompany the quilts, which we give to terminally ill patients at local hospitals:
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV)
God calls us to be merciful, even toward our enemies.
God expects all of us to extend mercy to others..,even our enemies. In Matthew 5:7 (NIV), Jesus said, "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy." You may be wondering how on earth we are supposed to extend mercy to our perpetrators.
The way I look at it, the criminal justice system has done its work to punish my father for molesting my daughter. He is now in jail and will remain there for a number of years. It is not my responsibility to punish him, but to extend God's mercy to him.
At the very least, I can pray for my father's safety, asking God to have compassion on him as he struggles to adjust to living in the confines of a small space with other dangerous criminals. I wouldn't want to spend my twilight years sleeping on a thin, hard mattress or eating institutional food with armed guards hovering nearby. It breaks my heart to think of anyone living under such conditions, and most especially my own father.
Over time, the prison psychologist may invite members of the family to attend counseling sessions with my father. I would cooperate with the prison staff, provided they felt that my father was truly ready to begin working on restitution within the family.
Until then, I can send cards to encourage my father, magazine articles about God's love for him, and other long-distance messages aimed at helping him surrender his life to Christ. I would do this, not as a means of re-establishing a relationship with my father, but to extend God's mercy to him.
A word of caution
It's important to realize that there is an appropriate time and place for expressing mercy to abusers. If it is given without their first achieving a sense of genuine remorse, we could be setting ourselves up for further abuse. Please be mindful of your physical, emotional, and spiritual safety before offering mercy to violent, controlling, or abusive people. Get a qualified therapist to help you if you decide to move forward in this regard.
Today's Challenge
In your journal, list all of the ways that God has shown you mercy. Then, write down how you extend that mercy to others. List some ways that you can extend mercy to your enemy without endangering yourself.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
Posts
