This week, we are learning how to become more gentle people, and today I would like to address the issue of how our speech affects others. This is a continuation of my series, Thriving in God's Garden.
Don't devour your neighbor.
The apostle Paul wrote the book of Galatians as a letter which was addressed to a group of early Christians. They were bickering over whether following the law or finding freedom in the Gospel was the way to heaven.
Paul wrote to them, "Love your neighbor as yourself. If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other." (Gal. 5:15 NIV)
The image of biting and devouring other people seems pretty gruesome, but that is exactly what we are doing when we talk to one another with sarcasm. The dictionary defines sarcasm as a sharply mocking or contemptuously ironic remark intended to wound another. In Greek, the word sarkasmos means to bite the lips in rage.
Sarcasm is a cover-up for bitterness.
I know a family who uses sarcasm constantly. They tease one another mercilessly and make very unkind remarks among themselves about the faults of the weaker members. Whenever I am with them, I feel terrible for the people who are the brunt of the unkind jokes. It is easy to see that the sarcastic remarks stem from bitterness over old hurts that should have been resolved years ago.
When I raise objections about these types of conversations with this family, they grin and say it's all just fun and games. While it may be fun for the one tearing someone else apart, I doubt that it's very pleasant for the weaker ones suffering the flesh-tearing verbal assaults.
Sarcasm has no place in our lives if we want to learn to be more gentle people. Unkind words that poke fun at others may make people laugh on late-night TV, but they're not appropriate within the family context. Someone must always be the butt of the joke, and I don't believe they can escape feelings of inadequacy, embarrassment, or humiliation as a result.
When my children were young, I intervened whenever sarcastic cracks were made between them. Sarcasm is a form of verbal abuse, and I find it completely unacceptable. I refuse to tolerate it.
Sarcasm is not how we express love.
As survivors of either childhood or marital abuse, many of us know how it feels to be put down with sarcasm. It hurts, and the wounds left behind are difficult to heal. We may grow up believing that this is how families express love to one another, but nothing could be further from the truth.
Whenever I meet someone who is very sarcastic, it doesn't take long to peel back the layers of hurt and find a person who was deeply wounded in childhood. They are often angry and have never learned how to express their rage. Sarcasm allows them to throw out barbs under the guise of humor, but anyone with some sensitivity can see beyond the jokes to the underlying pain.
Be gentle with your words.
There are many ways to laugh together without being sarcastic or poking fun at individuals or entire people groups. Comedy comes in many forms, and some jokes are funny without being bitter.
We can laugh over lots of things besides stupid jokes, too. The antics of our pets and children can make us laugh out loud. Overflowing joy can bring a smile to our faces if we experience something wonderful, such as an exhilarating parasail ride, a run down a powdery ski slope, or a dash through the sprinkler out on the front lawn.
We all need to find ways to use words to build up and encourage one another. We must walk away from conversations where others are bitterly pouring out sarcasm. Perhaps this means turning off the TV or walking out of a comedy show where actors are putting down people, including those in the audience. If we're feeling really courageous, we can stick up for someone who's the brunt of a mean joke. We'll feel better, and I'm sure others will, too.
Today's Challenge
Are you the brunt of a sarcastic abuser's jokes? Or are you the one dishing out the pain with unkind sarcasm? Make a commitment today to become a gentler person by giving up all forms of sarcasm. Refuse to accept it or dole it out.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
Teach Faithfulness
We conclude this week’s thoughts about faithfulness with some insights about teaching others how to become more faithful. This is a continuation of my series, Thriving in God’s Garden, which is based on Galatians 5:22. Next week, we will learn about how to be more gentle.
Become a woman of excellence.
Proverbs 31:10-31 has been my greatest source of guidance over the years. As a woman, this passage leads me in the ways that God wants me to go. It describes how I should aspire to live as a Christian wife. I think it can be applied to any woman, young or old, married or single.
Proverbs 31:26 (NIV) reads, She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. Notice that God puts wisdom ahead of faithful instruction in this passage. Older, more mature women are called upon to teach younger ones how to live quiet lives that are pleasing to God. Our cumulative life experiences usually make us better equipped to teach others, primarily through the wisdom we have learned from making mistakes along the way.
I have been on a pathway of learning for many years, and there is still much that I don’t know. But when I do understand something through a combination of experiences and studying the Bible, I try to share my wisdom with others. This blog is one example of my faithfulness in teaching God’s wisdom to others.
What do you know?
Each one of us has been equipped with special talents and gifts. Those abilities should be used whenever possible to encourage others. What have you learned as a result of the challenges life has thrown your way?
Most survivors of abuse don’t feel that they are very worthy. They believe that they have little to offer, because their abusers stripped them of all self-confidence. But the fact is that most people who have survived childhood sexual abuse, rape, domestic violence, or other traumas are usually much stronger in the long run than the average person. We can be far more resilient, hopeful, determined, and resourceful than most others can if we recover well. The very fact that we survived abuse speaks volumes about our emotional strength.
Galatians 5:22 (NIV) tells us that we should be exhibiting behaviors that are more and more Christ-like as we mature. These characteristics (the fruit of the Spirit) include love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Which ones do you feel are your strongest traits? How can you teach what you know to someone else?
Find a place to share your wisdom with others.
The best way to put this lesson into practice is to find a place to serve where we can faithfully teach others what we know. I lead a small group of women in making quilts for terminally ill patients at the hospitals in our community. My friend enjoys teaching young wives how to cook. No matter who we are, or how much we have suffered, God has given us something unique to share with the world. Where can you serve?
Today’s Challenge
Read Proverbs 31:10-31. You can find it at www.biblegateway.com if you don’t have a Bible. Consider the many talents described in this beautiful passage of Scripture. Which gift can you share with someone else? Choose one of your spiritual gifts today and begin faithfully teaching it to others through your actions or through direct instruction.
Become a woman of excellence.
Proverbs 31:10-31 has been my greatest source of guidance over the years. As a woman, this passage leads me in the ways that God wants me to go. It describes how I should aspire to live as a Christian wife. I think it can be applied to any woman, young or old, married or single.
Proverbs 31:26 (NIV) reads, She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. Notice that God puts wisdom ahead of faithful instruction in this passage. Older, more mature women are called upon to teach younger ones how to live quiet lives that are pleasing to God. Our cumulative life experiences usually make us better equipped to teach others, primarily through the wisdom we have learned from making mistakes along the way.
I have been on a pathway of learning for many years, and there is still much that I don’t know. But when I do understand something through a combination of experiences and studying the Bible, I try to share my wisdom with others. This blog is one example of my faithfulness in teaching God’s wisdom to others.
What do you know?
Each one of us has been equipped with special talents and gifts. Those abilities should be used whenever possible to encourage others. What have you learned as a result of the challenges life has thrown your way?
Most survivors of abuse don’t feel that they are very worthy. They believe that they have little to offer, because their abusers stripped them of all self-confidence. But the fact is that most people who have survived childhood sexual abuse, rape, domestic violence, or other traumas are usually much stronger in the long run than the average person. We can be far more resilient, hopeful, determined, and resourceful than most others can if we recover well. The very fact that we survived abuse speaks volumes about our emotional strength.
Galatians 5:22 (NIV) tells us that we should be exhibiting behaviors that are more and more Christ-like as we mature. These characteristics (the fruit of the Spirit) include love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Which ones do you feel are your strongest traits? How can you teach what you know to someone else?
Find a place to share your wisdom with others.
The best way to put this lesson into practice is to find a place to serve where we can faithfully teach others what we know. I lead a small group of women in making quilts for terminally ill patients at the hospitals in our community. My friend enjoys teaching young wives how to cook. No matter who we are, or how much we have suffered, God has given us something unique to share with the world. Where can you serve?
Today’s Challenge
Read Proverbs 31:10-31. You can find it at www.biblegateway.com if you don’t have a Bible. Consider the many talents described in this beautiful passage of Scripture. Which gift can you share with someone else? Choose one of your spiritual gifts today and begin faithfully teaching it to others through your actions or through direct instruction.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Faithfulness Builds Security
We are in week seven of my nine-week series, Thriving in God’s Garden. It is based on Galatians 5:22, the 'fruit' of the Spirit. This week, we are learning about faithfulness, and today I would like to get you thinking about building security through faithfulness.
Kings are great diplomats.
Proverbs 20:28 (NIV) tells us, Love and faithfulness keep a king safe; through love his throne is made secure. Kings who are wise build strong alliances with their subjects, as well as neighboring countries, by treating others with benevolence and kindness. As a result, the people become endeared to a great leader and remain his loyal supporters.
Our faithfulness toward others builds loyalty.
When we faithfully treat our friends and family with love and kindness, just as the wise king did in the passage above, we become endeared to them. As a result, when we are sick or in trouble, we can count on our friends to help us. If we have friends who stand by us through life’s ups and downs, we are probably the type of people who have worked hard to earn that loyalty. We understand faithfulness.
As survivors, it is often difficult to remain faithful.
Many of us struggle with remaining faithful to our relationships, because abuse or trauma can make us fearful and controlling. This is a particularly common outcome in people who were sexually abused in early childhood. Having no control over our bodies when we were young keeps us perpetually on our toes to make sure that no one hurts us again.
The trouble with this type of hyper-vigilant behavior is that it pushes away the very people we most want as our loyal supporters. If they are honest with us, we may hear from them that we are very bossy, perfectionistic, demanding, or controlling. We may marry or make friends with people who tend to be very passive, because most other people can’t stand our need to be in charge.
Because we don’t know how to back off and let others be themselves, we often find it easier to leave a relationship than to remain faithful to it. While we yearn for security, we often unwittingly destroy it by running from our commitments.
The only person we can control is ourselves.
Abuse victims generally take one of three directions:
1) they become abusers;
2) they rescue others; or
3) they remain victims.
If you’re reading this, you’re probably working your way out of the third category, because you realize that being victimized for the rest of time is not a worthwhile endeavor. And my guess is that you’re probably not an abuser, or you wouldn’t be interested in what I have to say about surviving abuse.
That leaves most of us in that category of rescuing, which places us in a position of constantly searching for ways to improve everyone around us…even when they don’t ask for our help. This gets us into a great deal of trouble, because we focus too much on others’ faults and nowhere near enough on our own.
I had the privilege many years ago of attending Al-Anon for Adult Children of Alcoholics. There, I learned the slogan, detach with love. This concept made little sense to me at first, because I felt that it meant my abusers were no longer responsible for their actions if I quit trying to control them. But, eventually I figured out that to detach with love means that I must mind my own business and let others mind theirs. I must let go and let God help my abusers work out their own issues.
Quit rescuing and start living your own life.
When we quit trying to save the rest of the world from their problems, we discover that we have far more time and energy to devote to our own issues. Our relationships with friends and family members improve, because we are no longer annoying everyone we encounter with our unsolicited advice.
I know that detaching with love is a difficult task, because it has always been my greatest battle. When I control, I drive away the people I love the most. And when that happens, I feel really depressed. There are times when I have considered walking away from my life to live in solitude, because it feels as if it would simply be easier.
I would like to encourage you to work toward growing in the area of faithfulness. Instead of giving up on a spouse or a friend, find a way to detach with love. Get your own career off the ground and take your focus off your mate’s. Quit hovering over your children and free them to be themselves.
This detachment/faithfulness combination may feel as strange to you as breathing underwater, but I can tell you that it works to build the loyalty of friends and family members. I have found much greater peace by concerning myself with my own life and letting others live their own than I have ever found in trying to rescue or fix others’ problems.
Today’s Challenge
Are you a rescuer? Do you find yourself constantly nagging someone else to change or improve? Give up those behaviors and start looking inward for ways to build the fruit of the Spirit. Remain faithful to those you love and set them free to become whoever God created them to be. In doing so, you will create security within a network of supportive relationships.
Kings are great diplomats.
Proverbs 20:28 (NIV) tells us, Love and faithfulness keep a king safe; through love his throne is made secure. Kings who are wise build strong alliances with their subjects, as well as neighboring countries, by treating others with benevolence and kindness. As a result, the people become endeared to a great leader and remain his loyal supporters.
Our faithfulness toward others builds loyalty.
When we faithfully treat our friends and family with love and kindness, just as the wise king did in the passage above, we become endeared to them. As a result, when we are sick or in trouble, we can count on our friends to help us. If we have friends who stand by us through life’s ups and downs, we are probably the type of people who have worked hard to earn that loyalty. We understand faithfulness.
As survivors, it is often difficult to remain faithful.
Many of us struggle with remaining faithful to our relationships, because abuse or trauma can make us fearful and controlling. This is a particularly common outcome in people who were sexually abused in early childhood. Having no control over our bodies when we were young keeps us perpetually on our toes to make sure that no one hurts us again.
The trouble with this type of hyper-vigilant behavior is that it pushes away the very people we most want as our loyal supporters. If they are honest with us, we may hear from them that we are very bossy, perfectionistic, demanding, or controlling. We may marry or make friends with people who tend to be very passive, because most other people can’t stand our need to be in charge.
Because we don’t know how to back off and let others be themselves, we often find it easier to leave a relationship than to remain faithful to it. While we yearn for security, we often unwittingly destroy it by running from our commitments.
The only person we can control is ourselves.
Abuse victims generally take one of three directions:
1) they become abusers;
2) they rescue others; or
3) they remain victims.
If you’re reading this, you’re probably working your way out of the third category, because you realize that being victimized for the rest of time is not a worthwhile endeavor. And my guess is that you’re probably not an abuser, or you wouldn’t be interested in what I have to say about surviving abuse.
That leaves most of us in that category of rescuing, which places us in a position of constantly searching for ways to improve everyone around us…even when they don’t ask for our help. This gets us into a great deal of trouble, because we focus too much on others’ faults and nowhere near enough on our own.
I had the privilege many years ago of attending Al-Anon for Adult Children of Alcoholics. There, I learned the slogan, detach with love. This concept made little sense to me at first, because I felt that it meant my abusers were no longer responsible for their actions if I quit trying to control them. But, eventually I figured out that to detach with love means that I must mind my own business and let others mind theirs. I must let go and let God help my abusers work out their own issues.
Quit rescuing and start living your own life.
When we quit trying to save the rest of the world from their problems, we discover that we have far more time and energy to devote to our own issues. Our relationships with friends and family members improve, because we are no longer annoying everyone we encounter with our unsolicited advice.
I know that detaching with love is a difficult task, because it has always been my greatest battle. When I control, I drive away the people I love the most. And when that happens, I feel really depressed. There are times when I have considered walking away from my life to live in solitude, because it feels as if it would simply be easier.
I would like to encourage you to work toward growing in the area of faithfulness. Instead of giving up on a spouse or a friend, find a way to detach with love. Get your own career off the ground and take your focus off your mate’s. Quit hovering over your children and free them to be themselves.
This detachment/faithfulness combination may feel as strange to you as breathing underwater, but I can tell you that it works to build the loyalty of friends and family members. I have found much greater peace by concerning myself with my own life and letting others live their own than I have ever found in trying to rescue or fix others’ problems.
Today’s Challenge
Are you a rescuer? Do you find yourself constantly nagging someone else to change or improve? Give up those behaviors and start looking inward for ways to build the fruit of the Spirit. Remain faithful to those you love and set them free to become whoever God created them to be. In doing so, you will create security within a network of supportive relationships.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
The Rewards of Faithfulness
We continue with our series, Thriving in God's Garden, which is based on Galatians 5:22. Today, I would like to touch upon the rewards which we receive when we are faithful.
Well done!
God has designed each of us with a specific purpose and placed us here on earth to fulfill his plans for us. When we carry out his plans in a responsible way, God rewards us with greater responsiblities.
Matthew 25:21 (NIV) reads, "...Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!"
This passage comes from a story about three servants. The first was faithful in earning a great deal of interest on his master's money. The second servant earned slightly less, and the third one buried his master's money because he was fearful. The money earned no interest, and the servant's fearful behavior earned him an upbraiding.
Fearfulness thwarts faithfulness.
As survivors of abuse and trauma, we frequently miss out on the blessings that God wants to give us. Often, fearfulness holds us back from faithfully using the unique gifts that God has given us.
For many years, a fear of writing the truth about childhood sexual abuse and domestic violence paralyzed me as an author. Creating this blog was a terrifying undertaking. I felt certain that something dreadful would happen to me within minutes of posting my first article.
Faithfulness in small things brings great rewards.
To my surprise, readers began sending me encouraging comments. Many of them urged me to keep writing, because they found my posts so helpful. The feedback showed me that if I remained silent, many people would miss out on the wisdom I had gained over the years. Today, I find writing about abuse and trauma very easy, and I don't self-censor as I used to do.
I took a step of faith and began with my blog. After nearly a year of faithfully writing, God has rewarded me with an even greater task. Soon, my first novel about a woman suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder will be available online, as well as in bookstores. Among the Ashes is the result of many years of self-discovery, both as a survivor and an author.
Take a baby step.
Everyone must start out in their careers or areas of volunteer work with baby steps. Whether we aspire to become a respected leader in our community, an accomplished author, or President of the United States; we all start out the same way. Small tasks, carried out faithfully, will earn us the privilege of sharing in God's bigger tasks.
Today's Challenge
Why are you here? Are you fulfilling God's purpose for your life? If you know what that purpose is and you're not using it, how can you activate your talents? If fear is holding you back, start with something small. Volunteer at a church, school, community group, or medical center. Take on something easy and faithfully carry out your tasks. In time, God will reward you with greater responsibilities that will help you fulfill your purpose.
Well done!
God has designed each of us with a specific purpose and placed us here on earth to fulfill his plans for us. When we carry out his plans in a responsible way, God rewards us with greater responsiblities.
Matthew 25:21 (NIV) reads, "...Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!"
This passage comes from a story about three servants. The first was faithful in earning a great deal of interest on his master's money. The second servant earned slightly less, and the third one buried his master's money because he was fearful. The money earned no interest, and the servant's fearful behavior earned him an upbraiding.
Fearfulness thwarts faithfulness.
As survivors of abuse and trauma, we frequently miss out on the blessings that God wants to give us. Often, fearfulness holds us back from faithfully using the unique gifts that God has given us.
For many years, a fear of writing the truth about childhood sexual abuse and domestic violence paralyzed me as an author. Creating this blog was a terrifying undertaking. I felt certain that something dreadful would happen to me within minutes of posting my first article.
Faithfulness in small things brings great rewards.
To my surprise, readers began sending me encouraging comments. Many of them urged me to keep writing, because they found my posts so helpful. The feedback showed me that if I remained silent, many people would miss out on the wisdom I had gained over the years. Today, I find writing about abuse and trauma very easy, and I don't self-censor as I used to do.
I took a step of faith and began with my blog. After nearly a year of faithfully writing, God has rewarded me with an even greater task. Soon, my first novel about a woman suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder will be available online, as well as in bookstores. Among the Ashes is the result of many years of self-discovery, both as a survivor and an author.
Take a baby step.
Everyone must start out in their careers or areas of volunteer work with baby steps. Whether we aspire to become a respected leader in our community, an accomplished author, or President of the United States; we all start out the same way. Small tasks, carried out faithfully, will earn us the privilege of sharing in God's bigger tasks.
Today's Challenge
Why are you here? Are you fulfilling God's purpose for your life? If you know what that purpose is and you're not using it, how can you activate your talents? If fear is holding you back, start with something small. Volunteer at a church, school, community group, or medical center. Take on something easy and faithfully carry out your tasks. In time, God will reward you with greater responsibilities that will help you fulfill your purpose.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Be Faithful in Prayer
We continue with my series, Thriving in God's Garden, a study based on Galatians 5:22 (NIV): But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Today, we take a look at faithfulness regarding prayer.
We turn to God in prayer during difficult times.
The apostle Paul reminded the early Christians that prayer was essential at all times. He wrote in Romans 12:12 (NIV): Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
When we encounter struggles, we begin to cry out to God for relief. During the difficult times in our life, we discover the nearness of God through prayer. Later, when we look back, we can often see how closely he was walking with us through a challenge.
After I got divorced, my ex-husband repeatedly filed lawsuits against me in an effort to deny me custody of our children. It was, without a doubt, the most difficult time of my life. I have never prayed so much. During that challenge, I can also say that I have never been so wowed by God's power in response to prayer.
One day, I was waiting for a judge's verdict in court. He was about to remove a restraining order against my ex-husband, which had been providing my children and me with tremendous relief from being harassed at every turn.
When the judge declared that he was lifting the restraining order, I began to fervently and silently pray, "God, please make him change his mind."
Within seconds, the judge leaped to his feet, ripped the court orders in half, and said, "No! I can't do this. I've changed my mind!"
My ex-husband's attorney shouted, "On what grounds?"
The judge threw his arms into the air and said, "It doesn't matter. I've changed my mind!" He charged out of the room and slammed the door.
I sat there, stunned by the power of my prayer. Not only had God turned around the outcome, but the judge had actually spoken the exact same words I had been praying!
We should also seek God when life is good.
Imagine how different our relationship with God would be if we prayed that fervently all the time. So often, we only pray when we're in trouble. God wants to hear from us every day...in good times and in bad.
While I have never experienced anything quite as startling during my daily prayer time as I did on that day in court, I can say that the discipline of regular prayer draws me closer to God. And when he and I are communicating regularly, it is easier for me to see his hand at work.
When I thank God for the beauty of his creation, for improvements in my health that allow me to care for myself, for my family, for my friends, and for the freedom of life in a great nation; I feel his presence.
Because I am mindful of my relationship with God through prayer, he speaks to me through Scripture, other people, and circumstances during good times and bad. And when I ask God questions or request specific directions from him, I am always amazed by the ways in which he answers. It is comforting to me to know that asking God for advice always keeps me moving in the right direction.
Today's Challenge
Make it a habit to faithfully talk with God daily. Tell him about your joys, as well as your needs. Develop a deeper relationship with him by asking a question and then waiting for his answer. You will be surprised by the ways he answers.
We turn to God in prayer during difficult times.
The apostle Paul reminded the early Christians that prayer was essential at all times. He wrote in Romans 12:12 (NIV): Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
When we encounter struggles, we begin to cry out to God for relief. During the difficult times in our life, we discover the nearness of God through prayer. Later, when we look back, we can often see how closely he was walking with us through a challenge.
After I got divorced, my ex-husband repeatedly filed lawsuits against me in an effort to deny me custody of our children. It was, without a doubt, the most difficult time of my life. I have never prayed so much. During that challenge, I can also say that I have never been so wowed by God's power in response to prayer.
One day, I was waiting for a judge's verdict in court. He was about to remove a restraining order against my ex-husband, which had been providing my children and me with tremendous relief from being harassed at every turn.
When the judge declared that he was lifting the restraining order, I began to fervently and silently pray, "God, please make him change his mind."
Within seconds, the judge leaped to his feet, ripped the court orders in half, and said, "No! I can't do this. I've changed my mind!"
My ex-husband's attorney shouted, "On what grounds?"
The judge threw his arms into the air and said, "It doesn't matter. I've changed my mind!" He charged out of the room and slammed the door.
I sat there, stunned by the power of my prayer. Not only had God turned around the outcome, but the judge had actually spoken the exact same words I had been praying!
We should also seek God when life is good.
Imagine how different our relationship with God would be if we prayed that fervently all the time. So often, we only pray when we're in trouble. God wants to hear from us every day...in good times and in bad.
While I have never experienced anything quite as startling during my daily prayer time as I did on that day in court, I can say that the discipline of regular prayer draws me closer to God. And when he and I are communicating regularly, it is easier for me to see his hand at work.
When I thank God for the beauty of his creation, for improvements in my health that allow me to care for myself, for my family, for my friends, and for the freedom of life in a great nation; I feel his presence.
Because I am mindful of my relationship with God through prayer, he speaks to me through Scripture, other people, and circumstances during good times and bad. And when I ask God questions or request specific directions from him, I am always amazed by the ways in which he answers. It is comforting to me to know that asking God for advice always keeps me moving in the right direction.
Today's Challenge
Make it a habit to faithfully talk with God daily. Tell him about your joys, as well as your needs. Develop a deeper relationship with him by asking a question and then waiting for his answer. You will be surprised by the ways he answers.
Monday, May 9, 2011
God’s Faithfulness Endures Forever
We focus our thoughts this week on the concept of faithfulness as we continue with week seven of my nine-week series, Thriving in God’s Garden. This study is based on Galatians 5:22, known as the fruit of the Spirit.
The shortest chapter in the Bible holds the greatest truth.
Psalm 117 is the shortest chapter in the Bible and contains one of the greatest truths: God is perpetually involved in the destiny of all people groups by faithfully lavishing us with his love. The passage reads, Praise the Lord, all you nations; extol him, all you peoples. For great is his love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. Praise the Lord.
The emphasis of this chapter, if we look at it closely, is the message that God’s love is for all people, not just the nation of Israel. Jesus came to bring the Gospel of love to people of all nations, not just his fellow Jews. This was a hard concept for people of Jesus’ day to accept, because the Jews looked down on others, such as the people of Samaria.
We must accept that God loves evil people.
Today, we struggle with this same prideful attitude. We think of God’s faithfulness in loving us as something that belongs to people who are worthy. We have a hard time thinking of our abusers as people whom God also loves. But if we look back and read Psalm 117 more than once, we come to understand that God loves all people.
Last week, the world cheered when journaists revealed that Osama bin Laden had finally been captured and killed. A universal shout went up at Ground Zero in New York City, because many felt that justice had finally been served. I must admit that the first words out of my mouth were, “Hallelujah!”
In the next instant, I felt regret over expressing joy that a man had died. It was never God’s plan to create this person so that he could become a leader in world terrorism. God’s faithfulness in loving Osama bin Laden never ended.
And yet, we know from our previous studies about God’s character that he must punish men like Osama bin Laden. God loves all people, but he also hates sin. And he promises to punish those who refuse to turn away from their sins.
Therefore, we should not be cheering over bin Laden’s death. We should be grieving, because we failed to find a way to help the man understand that God is love. Bin Laden never figured out that God wants us to love one another.
When we are suffering or sinning, God’s faithfulness endures. No matter how badly we behave, his love never ends. The same truth about God applies to the people who have hurt us…including people as evil as Osama bin Laden.
Today’s Challenge
Are there people or nations whom you believe God does not love? How does this lesson about God’s faithfulness challenge those beliefs? Take some time today to reflect about God’s faithfulness in loving you when you have been at your worst. Think about how that same faithfulness applies to the people you believe are so undeserving.
The shortest chapter in the Bible holds the greatest truth.
Psalm 117 is the shortest chapter in the Bible and contains one of the greatest truths: God is perpetually involved in the destiny of all people groups by faithfully lavishing us with his love. The passage reads, Praise the Lord, all you nations; extol him, all you peoples. For great is his love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. Praise the Lord.
The emphasis of this chapter, if we look at it closely, is the message that God’s love is for all people, not just the nation of Israel. Jesus came to bring the Gospel of love to people of all nations, not just his fellow Jews. This was a hard concept for people of Jesus’ day to accept, because the Jews looked down on others, such as the people of Samaria.
We must accept that God loves evil people.
Today, we struggle with this same prideful attitude. We think of God’s faithfulness in loving us as something that belongs to people who are worthy. We have a hard time thinking of our abusers as people whom God also loves. But if we look back and read Psalm 117 more than once, we come to understand that God loves all people.
Last week, the world cheered when journaists revealed that Osama bin Laden had finally been captured and killed. A universal shout went up at Ground Zero in New York City, because many felt that justice had finally been served. I must admit that the first words out of my mouth were, “Hallelujah!”
In the next instant, I felt regret over expressing joy that a man had died. It was never God’s plan to create this person so that he could become a leader in world terrorism. God’s faithfulness in loving Osama bin Laden never ended.
And yet, we know from our previous studies about God’s character that he must punish men like Osama bin Laden. God loves all people, but he also hates sin. And he promises to punish those who refuse to turn away from their sins.
Therefore, we should not be cheering over bin Laden’s death. We should be grieving, because we failed to find a way to help the man understand that God is love. Bin Laden never figured out that God wants us to love one another.
When we are suffering or sinning, God’s faithfulness endures. No matter how badly we behave, his love never ends. The same truth about God applies to the people who have hurt us…including people as evil as Osama bin Laden.
Today’s Challenge
Are there people or nations whom you believe God does not love? How does this lesson about God’s faithfulness challenge those beliefs? Take some time today to reflect about God’s faithfulness in loving you when you have been at your worst. Think about how that same faithfulness applies to the people you believe are so undeserving.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Do Good to Those Who Hate You
We conclude this week's lessons on goodness with the thought that we should do good to those who hate us. Next week, we will turn our thoughts to faithfulness as we continue our series, Thriving in God's Garden. These lessons are all based on the fruit of the Spirit, which can be found in Galatians 5:22.
Love your enemies.
As survivors of abuse and trauma, it is often difficult for us to carry out this command, which is found in Luke 6:27 (NIV): But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you. How can we love someone who has hurt us so deeply?
We have considered this previously, and the only way I know of to love my enemy is to try and see him as God does. God loves all people, whom he created to become like him. If I look through the eyes of God's love, I can find a way to love people who are considered unloveable by mankind.
Express your love appropriately.
There are appropriate ways to express love to others. Consider this. If the President rang your doorbell, how would you greet him? Most Americans would offer him a handshake and invite him inside for coffee or iced tea. This would be appropriate, given the President's reputation and position of leadership.
On the other hand, if Osama bin Laden had showed up on your doorstep and you recognized him, you would have been wise to greet him much differently. His reputation for evil acts should have spurred you on to swiftly close the door, lock it, and call the cops. Then, you could have prayed within the safety of your home, asking God to soften Bin Laden's heart and to bring him to repentance.
The methods we use to determine how to love our abusers should be no different from the ways we decide to greet the President or Osama bin Laden. Love for our abusers does not necessarily mean that we invite them in for tea.
I was once pursued by a stalker, and I can assure you that inviting him into my home would have reactivated his need to control me. Our personal safety is much more important than figuring out some way to openly express love to such enemies. It is best, in cases like these, to love the person from a distance through prayer.
Do good to those who hate you.
Most abusers and stalkers do not hate us. In fact, they often love us to such an extreme that they must possess us. Therefore, I think it is actually easier to do good to other people who simply hate us than it is to do good to those who love us inappropriately.
Often, we are hated by people who can't stand the goodness in us. Their own evil ways make them feel so guilty, they squirm when they are in our presence. I have been called a goody-two-shoes, Church Lady Cheryl, and many other unkind names because of my faith.
How do we respond to people like this? I see them as God does: broken and miserable sinners who, like Satan, cannot tolerate to be in the presence of Christ. The most loving thing I can do in response to their harassment is to continue doing what I always do. I don't preach at them or respond to their sarcastic remarks. But I don't change my typical way of living out my faith, either.
We used to live next door to a woman who was a heavy drinker and smoker. She knew that Joe was a minister, and she frequently let fly with a string of curses before she realized that my husband was within earshot in the yard. She would make sarcastic remarks about having to watch her language if he was around.
Joe never preached to this woman about her sins. He greeted her pleasantly and made small talk, using language that was appropriate with her. He never joined her and the other neighbors in drinking alcochol or smoking.
Joe's example stood in stark contrast to our neighbor's behavior and provided her and her children with a far stronger message than any preaching could have. His actions showed perfectly how to do good to people who hate us and the goodness of God that dwells within us.
Today's Challenge
Is there someone in your life who hates you or the goodness within you? Strive to imitate God as much as possible through your actions in order to do good to them. Use very few words to make the point that you love them.
Love your enemies.
As survivors of abuse and trauma, it is often difficult for us to carry out this command, which is found in Luke 6:27 (NIV): But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you. How can we love someone who has hurt us so deeply?
We have considered this previously, and the only way I know of to love my enemy is to try and see him as God does. God loves all people, whom he created to become like him. If I look through the eyes of God's love, I can find a way to love people who are considered unloveable by mankind.
Express your love appropriately.
There are appropriate ways to express love to others. Consider this. If the President rang your doorbell, how would you greet him? Most Americans would offer him a handshake and invite him inside for coffee or iced tea. This would be appropriate, given the President's reputation and position of leadership.
On the other hand, if Osama bin Laden had showed up on your doorstep and you recognized him, you would have been wise to greet him much differently. His reputation for evil acts should have spurred you on to swiftly close the door, lock it, and call the cops. Then, you could have prayed within the safety of your home, asking God to soften Bin Laden's heart and to bring him to repentance.
The methods we use to determine how to love our abusers should be no different from the ways we decide to greet the President or Osama bin Laden. Love for our abusers does not necessarily mean that we invite them in for tea.
I was once pursued by a stalker, and I can assure you that inviting him into my home would have reactivated his need to control me. Our personal safety is much more important than figuring out some way to openly express love to such enemies. It is best, in cases like these, to love the person from a distance through prayer.
Do good to those who hate you.
Most abusers and stalkers do not hate us. In fact, they often love us to such an extreme that they must possess us. Therefore, I think it is actually easier to do good to other people who simply hate us than it is to do good to those who love us inappropriately.
Often, we are hated by people who can't stand the goodness in us. Their own evil ways make them feel so guilty, they squirm when they are in our presence. I have been called a goody-two-shoes, Church Lady Cheryl, and many other unkind names because of my faith.
How do we respond to people like this? I see them as God does: broken and miserable sinners who, like Satan, cannot tolerate to be in the presence of Christ. The most loving thing I can do in response to their harassment is to continue doing what I always do. I don't preach at them or respond to their sarcastic remarks. But I don't change my typical way of living out my faith, either.
We used to live next door to a woman who was a heavy drinker and smoker. She knew that Joe was a minister, and she frequently let fly with a string of curses before she realized that my husband was within earshot in the yard. She would make sarcastic remarks about having to watch her language if he was around.
Joe never preached to this woman about her sins. He greeted her pleasantly and made small talk, using language that was appropriate with her. He never joined her and the other neighbors in drinking alcochol or smoking.
Joe's example stood in stark contrast to our neighbor's behavior and provided her and her children with a far stronger message than any preaching could have. His actions showed perfectly how to do good to people who hate us and the goodness of God that dwells within us.
Today's Challenge
Is there someone in your life who hates you or the goodness within you? Strive to imitate God as much as possible through your actions in order to do good to them. Use very few words to make the point that you love them.
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