Preparing for Change

Most people agree that change can be difficult. For survivors of incest, abuse, or trauma, change can feel like climbing an icy mountain, wearing smooth-soled shoes. How can we break free from this slippery slope?


Preparing for change can be compared to a hike up a slippery mountainside. I see it as a three-step challenge.


First, when gearing up for change, think about how you might make your way up the icy inclines of a tall mountain. Hopefully, your highest priority would be to find a knowledgable guide. As you consider changing habits, look for someone with plenty of first-hand experience who has proven that he or she has successfully led others to their destination. A qualified psychologist, minister, chaplain, or family counselor who is well-versed in treating survivors of abuse and trauma would be an excellent pick. If you're a victim of incest, be doubly sure to find a guide with plenty of experience and understanding.


Once a reliable guide has been located, a climber's second step would probably center around acquiring protective equipment to ward off the dangers of frost-bite and fatigue. During the change process, trauma and abuse survivors must protect their bodies from stress. Sleeping regularly, eating nutritious foods, and exercising can prepare us for what lies ahead. Knowing when we've had enough and need to temporarily back away from the change is also a critical part of self-care.


Before a climber tackles the highest mountains, he or she first builds up strength on less imposing slopes. Don't try to tackle your biggest challenge first. Start with a small change, and work your way upward. Exercise your emotional muscles with the help of your guide before you tackle tough situations. For instance, if you're trying to stand up for yourself against someone who tends to push you around, start by role-playing in your therapist's office before confronting the bully face-to-face.


What mountains of change have you been trying to climb by yourself? Have you found a guide to help you? Are you practicing good habits of self-care to prepare yourself for the journey? Can you tackle smaller changes first? Think about your most challenging fears that are preventing you from reaching your pinnacle of success. Next time, I'll share some simple techniques to help you reach your goal.


"I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you cay say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
(Matthew 17:20-21)