Ask, Ask, Ask!

Jack Canfield's Success Principle #17

In today's lesson, Jack directs us to ask for the information, assistance, support, money, and time that we need to fulfill our purposes.

(1) Understand why people are afraid to ask others for help.
Most people are reluctant to ask for help, because they fear looking needy, foolish, or stupid. Their biggest fear is that of rejection.

If we need something, we must not assume that someone will automatically tell us no. Remember that if we do ask, and they say no, we will be no worse off than before we asked. If they say yes to our request, we will be better off.

I've been practicing this habit of asking lately, and it's been working beautifully. In the past, when I was seated at a restaurant, I would just accept whatever table I was given. I didn't want the hostesses to think I was demanding and selfish.

Recently, I've been requesting tables in quieter areas, with more comfortable seats, away from noisy children, and so on. Every time, my request has been answered with a better table, because I pushed aside my fear that hostesses would think I was rude.

(2) Learn how to ask for what you want.
a) Ask as if you expect to get it.
b) Assume that you can get what you want.
c) Ask someone who has the authority to give it to you.
d) Be clear and specific. Vague requests yield vague results.
e) Ask repeatedly, expecting to get lots of no's before you get a yes.

Over the weekend, Joe realized that he needed to make a copy of an important document to give to his father. We were eating breakfast in a restaurant near his home town, and he asked the hostess to make him a copy. She denied his request, and he came back to the table to say he'd have to mail the copy later.

His dad took the document and said, "I can get you a copy." He came back within minutes with four copies. When I asked him how he had succeeded, he said that he knew the woman who manages the restuarant. He went directly to her. He succeeded, because he expected to get what he wanted, and he assumed a positive outcome. He was very specific when he asked for four copies, not just one, so he was pleased with the results. He also had the sense to ask the person with the authority to grant his request.

(3) Learn something from sales statistics.
Jack provides some numbers about the odds of selling something. Basically, a sales person must ask at least five times before giving up. Why? Most buyers will assent to a sale after the fourth sales call. We must remember that the odds are against us if we ask only once. We must ask repeatedly, because something almost always changes to bring about a positive response.

(4) Ask, and it shall be given to you.
In another example, Jack tells about a woman who risked looking foolish by asking her boss to send the sales team to an island for a vacation. Everyone in the room stared at her in silence. The boss surprised everyone by saying that if they met a sales quota, he would do it. They were all thrilled a few months later when he sent them to a tropical island. We don't know what we can get until we ask.

(5) Realize that you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by asking.
This chapter includes a story about a man who desperately wanted a job as a head football coach. He approached several schools and landed a job within a week.

In the late 80s when jobs were scarce, I applied to over 90 school districts for a teaching position. Every day, I got on the phone and called each one to ask if something had opened up. The secretary in one of those districts became very annoyed with me, because they hadn't hired a new teacher in over 30 years. She told me I was wasting my time by calling.

And then suddenly, the teachers in that district went on strike, and a few days later, the administrators were forced to hire three new teachers. I was one of those three people who were hired. Because I took the approach that I had nothing to lose and everything to gain by asking, I got the job.

(6) Be bold, even in asking for money.
Chad Pregracke was 21 years old when he decided that he wanted to clean up the trash along the banks of the Mississippi River. He opened the phone book to the A's and began asking everyone he called if they wanted to give him some money for this task. At first, people were shocked by his bold request, but over the years, he has raised more than $2.5 million. He has removed over one million pounds of garbage with the help of over 4,000 people.

When Joe was in seminary and I had been paralyzed, we were in dire straits financially. It was very humbling, especially to Joe, to ask for help. But other Christians were incredibly generous, and they donated the funds we needed to stay afloat until Joe found a chaplaincy position.

This entire lesson reminds me that Jesus said, For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. (Matt 7:8) God loves us and wants to bless us. If we apply these principles together with prayer, we'll be pleasantly surprised by the results.

Today's Challenge
Make a list of things you want, but haven't yet asked for. Write down the fears related to asking for those things. List what it's costing you not to ask. Then, list the benefits you would receive if you did. Remember to include all areas of your goals: finances, career, recreation, health, relationships, personal growth, and charity. Choose one thing from your list, ask God to help you get it, and start asking for it today. Send me your success story so that I can post it for others to read.



Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com