Are You Suffering From PTSD?

We continue this week with my series, Confident in God's Hands. The purpose of this journey is to help readers identify why they lack self-esteem, and then to equip them to grow more confident. Last week, we took a look at anxiety and considered how extreme fears may be robbing us of the joy we would like to experience. Today, I would like to address the signs and symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

What causes PTSD?
Any trauma can cause a person to develop PTSD, but not everyone ends up with this disorder. Childhood sexual abuse, rape, domestic violence, auto accidents, natural disasters, and war can all trigger PTSD. The illness can be accompanied by depression, substance abuse, or anxiety disorders.

When do symptoms of PTSD begin?
The symptoms of PTSD usually begin within three months of the trauma. However, some people don't exhibit them until years later. Sometimes PTSD is misdiagnosed as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), generalized anxiety disorder, or depression.

I wasn't diagnosed with PTSD until I was in my late thirties, nearly three decades after the first traumatic event occurred. At first, I was misdiagnosed with ADHD and depression. It wasn't until several years later that a psychologist well-versed in diagnosing PTSD figured it out.

What are the symptoms of PTSD?
In order to be diagnosed with PTSD, a group of some of the following symptoms must be present for at least one month. They include:

-exaggerated startle response
-loss of interest in usual activities
-trouble feeling affectionate
-irritability
-aggression
-violent outbursts
-flashbacks (reliving the trauma during the day)
-nightmares (dreaming about the trauma whenever sleeping)
-feeling emotionally numb, particularly with people who were once close
-avoiding situations which are similar to the trauma
-struggling with the anniversary of the trauma

My experiences with PTSD
If you interrupt me while I'm engrossed in something, you can clearly see what an exaggerated startle response looks like. Joe knows better than to sneak up behind me and tickle me. If he does inadvertently startle me, my heart pounds, my hands shake, and I feel as if I'm about to faint or throw up. For several hours afterward, I feel completely wiped out.

I have frequent flashbacks during the day, particularly if I'm doing something mindless, such as driving or washing dishes. Something inconsequential, such as the scent of the dish liquid, can trigger a flashback. My mind replays the traumatic event, and eventually I come back to present day with a sense that I've lost a chunk of time.

At night, my mind works overtime to warn me of dangers which are no longer present. I dream about the people who traumatized me in situations where I felt little or no control. Generally, I wake up feeling very helpless and depressed, and I have to remind myself that the dreams are not real.

What is the outlook for people with PTSD?
The course of PTSD varies. Some people recover within six months, while others have symptoms that last much longer. In some people, the condition becomes chronic.

Receiving a diagnosis of PTSD isn't all bad. For me, it was a relief to understand that there was an underlying cause to the exaggerated startle response, depression, chronic flashbacks, and nightmares. Knowing what the problem was gave me the opportunity to work at getting better. Medication combined with extensive psychotherapy helped considerably.

I am much better today than I was ten years ago. And I anticipate that I will continue to improve with time. I believe the outlook is quite promising, provided we get appropriate treatment.

Today's Challenge
Are you suffering from exaggerated startle responses, loss of interest in your usual activities, trouble feeling affectionate, irritability, aggression, violent outbursts, flashbacks, or nightmares? Do you feel emotionally numb? Are you avoiding situations that remind you of a traumatic incident? Is the anniversary of the trauma still bothering you? If you answered yes to a number of these questions, you may want to consider seeking the help of a professional counselor. There is hope for recovery from PTSD, but it is important to get some support for it.

All things are possible with God. (Mark 10:27 NIV)

What Are Your Fears Telling You?

We have focused our thoughts this week on our fears as part of my series, Confident in God's Hands. A few readers sent me their comments, and as promised, I'm going to reveal mankind's top 10 fears today, as well as a few lists of my own.

Our fears are trying to tell us something.
The medical term for extreme fear is phobia. And phobias are the most common symptom of anxiety disorders. An American study by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) found that between 8.7% and 18.1% of Americans suffer from phobias. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phobia)

If we're suffering from extreme fears that disrupt our daily routines, we've got a mental illness that needs to be addressed. I spoke with a woman before writing today's post about our fears, and she told me that she suffered from undiagnosed anxiety for years. Identifying it became a turning point for her, because knowing that it was an illness empowered her to treat it.

Mankind's Top 10 Fears

1. Fear of spiders
2. Fear of social situations
3. Fear of flying
4. Fear of any place or situation where escape might be difficult
5. Fear of being trapped in small confined spaces
6. Fear of heights
7. Fear of vomit
8. Fear of cancer
9. Fear of thunder and lightning
10. Fear of the dead or death

Alternative Fear Lists
There are almost as many lists of top 10 fears as there are fears. Some sources include the fear of bugs, mice, snakes, or bats. Other lists change up the order of the fears.

Americans have very different fears from the overall population. We tend to be more afraid of terrorists, economic downturns, personal financial failure, and divorce than the rest of the world.

I believe that our list of fears may evolve over time. Things that frightened us as children or young adults may no longer hold any power over us. And as we age, we may become fearful about situations, such as falling or losing our independence, which we may never have given a second thought in our youth.

My guess is that survivors of childhood sexual abuse, domestic violence, and trauma all have their own specific lists of fears, too. I surmise that many of us fear situations where we can't escape, because abusers have held such power over us.

I frequently have nightmares about going back to living in the same houses with my abusers, where they have absolute control over me. I also dream about floods, hurricanes, and tornadoes, which I cannot escape.

Are we suffering from anxiety disorders?
For years, I tried to figure out what my night terrors meant. Now I know that they're merely symbols for my number one phobia: the inability to escape. I know that I developed this extreme fear as a result of being locked in the dark after having been sexually abused. This phobia grew worse after nearly twenty years of domestic violence.

So how do we deal with these types of phobias that interrupt our sleep and paralyze us during the day? In my opinion, a mental healthcare professional should be consulted. Medication may be required, at least in the short run until we learn some coping mechanisms. Over the next four weeks, we will learn some strategies to help us deal with our fears so that we can become more confident.

If you've been struggling with anxiety for many years, as I have, you may be thinking that this is going to be an impossible task. I want to encourage you to believe that life can be much more enjoyable without fear. Luke 18:27 (NIV) reminds us, What is impossible with men is possible with God.

Today's Challenge
Review your list of fears and consider two questions: 1) Are your fears so extreme that you are changing your daily routine or decisions to work around them? 2) Are you having symbolic nightmares about your fears that disturb your sleep and leave you feeling depressed upon awakening? Becoming aware of the power that our fears have over us is key to eliminating them.

Who is More Powerful than God?

We continue today with our series, Confident in God's Hands. This week, we are considering how fear robs us of confidence.

Is God the most powerful force in the universe?
In recent weeks, tornadoes have ripped through our country, leaving downed trees and power lines, and devastating homes and businesses in their wakes. Whenever we see natural disasters, such as tornadoes, tsunamis, and earthquakes, we are awed by the power of Mother Nature. But who do we beleive is behind all of her power?

I believe that God controls everything, even the wind and the waves. When Jesus walked on water, he did so in the middle of a squall on the Sea of Gallilee. It amazed the disciples that he could walk on water, but what really awed them was Jesus' ability to make the storm stop with three simple words, Quiet! Be still. (Mark 4:39 NIV)

We must believe that God, not Mother Nature, is behind such powerful energy. Doing so helps us to become more confident. How? The apostle Paul wrote, If God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31 NIV) If God can control a squall with a few simple words, he can surely speak on our behalf to help us out of difficult situations.

Can anything outpower God?
The Bible tells us that there is no person or power greater than God. Paul wrote in Romans 8:37-39 (NIV), No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

If God can outsmart and overpower death, demons, the future, and every other existing power, why should we ever be afraid? As long as we belong to God, we have nothing to fear!

Why do we have such poor self-confidence?
Imagine how much we could all accomplish if we had no fears. I would ride a horse again over four-foot high brick walls without fearing that I might fall off and reinjure my head. I'd swim in the ocean without worrying about sharks, sting rays and jelly fish hurting me. What would you do?

Without fear, I would be free to live the way God wants me to. The problem for all of us is that Satan whispers in our ears every day that we'd better not trust God to protect us. He uses our fears to keep us from relying on God when we feel weak. And as our fears mount, our confidence shrinks.

Can we overcome our greatest fears?
Most of us don't even realize how much we are controlled by our fears. If we are aware of them, we've learned ways of coping so that we constantly dance around them.

Our fears are like venemous snakes crawling freely about our homes. Instead of calling in a snake handler to get rid of them, we barricade ourselves in the rooms that are snake-free, or we tiptoe around the slithering creatures.

Living with fear, like living with snakes, robs us of the ability to relax. Who can laugh or dance or sing with snakes underfoot? And yet we pretend that we can fully live with fears controlling our every move.

For the next six weeks, we will learn how to fully acknowledge our fears, look into the causes of them, and eventually learn to replace our anxious responses to life with better coping skills. I hope that you will journey with me as we learn to become conquerers over fear, confident in God's hands.

Today's Challenge
Memorize Romans 8:31: If God is for us, who can be against us? The next time you become fearful, anxious, or worried about a situation, repeat this passage to yourself.

A Powerful Weapon Against Fear

We continue this week with a look at how our fears erode our self-confidence in my series, Confident in God's Hands. Today, I would like to give you a powerful weapon to use in the battle against fear.

Begin with the truth.
Years ago, I decided to home school my children. In the state where we lived at the time, it was practically illegal. Other home schooling parents advised me not to take the children out in public during the school day. At the time, truant officers were pressing charges against parents and removing the children from their parents' care.

I was more than a litte scared about making such a huge change in our family. What if I got caught? Would the authorities take away my children? What if I failed to teach the children all that they needed to know? Would they find themselves falling short in all areas of life?

I realized that I needed tremendous courage to make it through that first school year. So did the kids. So I decided to begin by teaching them some key verses of Scripture. Their first memorized verse was Psalm 27:1 (NIV): The Lord is my light and my salvation--whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my lfe--of whom shall I be afraid?

While the kids worked to memorize those lines, the truth of it began to sink into my heart. It dawned on me that God was like a fortress around me, and he wasn't going to let anyone break down the walls that he had built.

Expect results.
God's love is an impenatrable wall that fears cannot break down. His truth became the foundation of newfound courage for me in the face of great challenges. Since that time, I have built upon his truths daily to overcome the fears that threaten to steal my peace.

Did my tactic of using God's Word work? I think so. I'm far less fearful today than I was back then. And all three of my adult children know God and have used the knowledge they gained through home schooling and traditional education to become successful in their professions.

If we read God's truth daily and focus on what he can do, no fear can stop us. But we must expect results when we read, applying the truths to our own situations. In other words, we must have faith and believe that God's promises are real and that they apply to each of us personally.

Today's Challenge
Write down Psalm 27:1 in a prominent place where you will see it daily. Write it on an index card and tape it to your bathroom mirror, paint it over your front door, or put in on your computer's screen saver. Memorize the truth contained in God's Word so that you can be better prepared to ward off fears when they come after you.

Your Top Ten Fears

This week, we begin a new series about gaining confidence. I have titled it Confident in God's Hands. Today, I would like to consider what we fear the most, because we cannot develop greater confidence as long as fear reigns supreme in our lives.

Mankind's Top 10 Fears
I looked online at lists of fears that other writers and scientists have compiled. To my surprise, some of my fears didn't make the top 10 list. And some things that terrorize the average person don't bother me in the least.

For example, I'm afraid of running through poison ivy, probably because I'm so allergic to it that it causes breathing difficulties. Poision ivy wasn't even on any of the lists I reviewed.

On the other hand, I could care less about finding a spider in my bathtub or bed. Creepy crawlers that would make most men scream like little girls don't scare me at all. And yet, fear of spiders is on most of the top 10 lists.

What scares you the most?
What are you afraid of? Death? Public speaking? Or maybe snakes and sharks? I would really like to know what your top 10 fears are. Please use the comment section below to send me your top 10 phobias. If you receive my blog via email, just send me a reply. At the end of the week, I'll reveal my readers' most common fears. Don't worry, I won't identify you!

Today's Challenge
Sit quietly today for a few minutes and write down in your journal what your top 10 fears are. No matter how silly they may seem, write them down. Over the course of the next four weeks, we'll work on eliminating or reducing the impact of as many of your fears as we can.

Control Your Emotions

It's hard to believe that we have arrived at the last day of my nine-week series on the fruit of the Spirit, Thriving in God's Garden. We conclude with a look at learning better self-control over our emotions.

Are your emotions controlling you?
Proverbs 14:30 (MSG) tells us, A sound mind makes for a robust body, but runaway emotions corrode the bones. In other words, if we allow our emotions to control us, they will affect every aspect of our lives, including our health.

Are your emotions controlling you? Does depression prevent you from enjoying activities with your mate and family? Is anxiety robbing you of the joys most people experience? Read on to discover how to turn off these negative emotions and tap into the joy God desires for all of us.

Abuse and trauma make us pessimistic.
Negative emotions, such as fear, anxiety, anger, depression, and hopelessness can take over our minds if we are not careful. As survivors of childhood abuse or trauma, we have learned these negative feelings as a result of our pain.

Abuse or trauma causes our brains to instantly respond negatively to everything we encounter, because we have been programmed to expect the worst. By anticipating the worst, we were empowered during the abuse or trauma to survive. This survival instinct is not necessary in everyday life where abuse and trauma are no longer present, but many of us never figure out how to lose our negativity and become like normal people again.

Trauma changes our perceptions.
Joe often teases me, because he says I can look at any situation and see the worst possible outcome. This is very true, and it has served me well as a mystery/suspense author. My twisted view of people allows me to create sociopaths in my novels who find inventive ways to torment and kill others.

But the down side of such a pessimistic outlook is that it can create anxiety and depression if I'm not careful. I must constantly reframe every reaction I have and put a positive spin on it.

Let me give you an example. If someone announces that they're adopting a child, my immediate thought process goes something like this: They're fools. The adoption agency has lied to them about the kid's mental and physical state. They're going to wind up with more trouble than the kid will be worth.

This jaded view of adoption evolved within my mind after Joe and I adopted eight-year-old twins from Ethiopia. They had disrupted a previous adoption, and we were told by the adoption agency that they were very normal little girls who had simply been placed in the wrong home.

It became apparent within just a few weeks that these two broken little souls were beyond repair. We spent all of our free time for nearly two years in hospitals and psychologists' offices, trying to figure out how to cope. My life became a waking nightmare, as each of the twins tried to commit suicide in order to escape the love of our family. In the end, we had to place them in a group home for children with reactive attachment disorder (RAD).

Our issues with the twins represent a very tiny percentage of adoption outcomes. But the experience was so traumatic that it left me with a warped perception of what adoption generally means to people.

We must control our emotions.
I must constantly reframe my emotions from the negative to the positive. My knee-jerk reaction to news of an adoption is always negative. But, I have learned through cognitive restructuring to tell myself that not all adoptions end badly.

I remind myself to look for the positives in the situation, such as the joy of parenting when it has been impossible, and the comfort of having parents forever. By taking control of what I am thinking and replacing negative reactions with a more positive outlook, I can find joy in situations that used to cause nothing but despair.

Look to God for hope.
The best cure for negative emotions that I have found is the Bible. God makes promises in every chapter to love us, provide for us, and guide us. But it's hard to believe such encouraging news if we don't read it for ourselves on a regular basis.

My favorite chapter is Psalm 91. Whenever my emotions are out of control, and anxiety or depression are fogging my mind, I look to these words of comfort. God promises to protect me from disease and my enemies. He assures me that his angels will always guard me. No matter how much trouble I encounter, God will always be there to bless me with long life and the promise of eternity in heaven with him.

Who could possibly remain under the control of willy-nilly emotions after reading something so comforting? There is power in God's Word...power to overcome the negative emotions that threaten to steal our joy...power to uplift our spirits and leave us feeling confident that life is good.

Coming next
Thank you for joining me for the past nine weeks. We will begin a new series on Tuesday about overcoming our fears and growing more confident. It is titled, Confident in God's Hands.

Today's Challenge
Are you a pessimist or an optimist? If your emotions are wreaking havoc on your life, take control of your thoughts today. Stop yourself when negative thoughts creep in. Ask yourself where they originated, and then replace them with more logical thinking. Read God's Word daily to remind yourself of the blessings that await you.

Take Control of Your Time

We are learning this week about how to develop greater self-control as part of my series, Thriving in God's Garden. It is based on the fruit of the Spirit, which can be found in Galatians 5:22. Today, I would like to address the issue of time management.

Time can be a heavy burden.
I don't think I've ever met any active adult who tells me that they have too much time on their hands. Children may claim to be bored, and the elderly may feel the hours dragging in the loneliness of nursing homes, but the rest of us never seem to be able to keep up with all of the demands made upon us in the limited hours we have to work each day.

King Solomon wrote in Proverbs 3:1 (NIV), There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. Since this Biblical truth applies to all of us, it stands to reason that we should all be figuring out how to best manage our time to carry out the activities that God has planned for us.

Time can become a heavy burden if we don't make daily plans to use it wisely. We can either fritter it away or fill it with too many activities. Both extremes will leave us feeling dissatisfied at the end of the day.

Take control of time, or it will control you.
I have found that the best way to manage my time is to chart out my day the night before. I make a list of all the things I need to do at home, the errands I need to run, and the phone calls I must make. Before I go to sleep, I put my list in order and note a time frame for completing each task.

While I'm sleeping, my mind is working on tomorrow's tasks. When I do this, I find myself waking up with an answer to a question, or I dream about characters and plot twists for my novels.

Live by your list.
Writing a list the night before makes the entire day flow more smoothly. I live by my list, checking off each task and bearing in mind how much time I have remaining before I must move on to the next one.

I rarely leave home without my list. If I forget to take it with me, I inevitaby wander aimlessly through stores, unaware of the time or of the list of tasks that need to be accomplished.

Perhaps all of this list-making sounds a bit controlling. Maybe some of you prefer to live more vicariously in the moment. That's great, provided you actually get anything accomplished.

I suffered a closed-head injury a number of years ago that left me with deficits in the area of the brain that governs management of numerous tasks. Without my lists, I'm lost. Many people who suffer from ADHD or PTSD have similar issues with time management.

But I don't see this need for lists as a stumbling block in my life. In fact, I'm glad that God allowed me to brain myself. At the end of the day, I can look at my lists and feel really terrific about all that I've accomplished. Without my lists, I can't remember what I've done.

If I keep my lists in a journal, I have a long record of how I filled my days. I enjoy going back through my journals to see that I actually did something worthwhile with my time.

Expect interruptions and delays.
If you've ever flown on a jet, you know that there are often delays which can leave you stranded in airports or hotels in strange cities far from home. Like airline delays, our daily schedules can be delayed by numerous interruptions, such as phone calls, requests for help from friends, the dog running off, or a kid scraping a knee.

If we plan extra margins of time around all of our scheduled activities, we will arrive at the end of the day feeling less stressed. In other words, if we think it will take an hour to do the grocery shopping, we should plan to take an hour and a half, just in case the clerk is slow, traffic is backed up, or we spend too long selecting a birthday card or trying on clothes.

Prioritize your tasks.
For those of us who are over-achievers, the habit of making lists can get us into trouble. I may go into the kitchen to write a grocery list, and I wind up making a separate list of all the things in the room that need attention...the knife drawer needs cleaning out, the curtains need washing, the light bulb is burned out, and so on. That leads me to the next room, and the next, until I've got a fistful of lists, each several pages long. How do I get all of this done in one day?

The answer is that I don't! I must decide whether it is more important to wash the curtains or to buy groceries. If I don't have time today to do both, I can set aside my kitchen-maintenance list until another day when I have fewer demands on my time.

Learn to say NO!
Many people feel harassed by the clock, because they don't know how to say no. Every time someone makes a request of their time, they say yes. At first, they feel good about themselves, because they are helping someone else. But after a while, they begin to resent people asking for help. They develop burn-out in their careers, their volunteer work, and their marriages, simply because they say yes to everything.

If you're stretched too thin because you've agreed to help everyone who has ever asked you, start backing out of some of your commitments. Remind yourself that you're giving another person the opportunity to be helpful in your place, and you're making a better life for yourself.

Live on your own time one day every week.
I believe it is imperative for all of us to carve out a little time each week to just be. When Joe and I first got married, we used to go to a park after church and lie down on a blanket. We listened to the children laughing on the playground, watched the clouds floating by overhead, or closed our eyes and snoozed. This habit really helped us to recharge our batteries for the week ahead.

God commands us to rest on the Lord's day, and I believe there is great wisdom in following this law. Rest isn't just about sleeping. It's about forgetting the time, the lists, and all of the responsibilities that belong to the rest of the week.

Today's Challenge
How are you doing with time management? Are you making lists, planning your time, working your list, providing extra margins of time for interruptions, prioritizing tasks, resistng the urge to over-commit, and resting one day each week? Try following these suggestions next week and send me a comment to let me know if this helps you to be more self-controlled.