Find a Wing to Climb Under

Jack Canfield's Success Principle #44

Successful people constantly ask for advice from mentors who have triumphed over the same hardships in the past. Do you have a mentor?

Determine in advance what you want from a mentor.
Mentors can help us to see possibilities that we can't. Perhaps they can open doors for us. Or maybe they can refer us to someone else who can help. Sometimes a mentor simply validates what we're doing. In any case, we need to be specific about what we want them to do for us before we meet them.

I met with my mentor yesterday, with several specific questions regarding ways to protect my health. I had encountered two very abusive people during the holidays--people I would call crazymakers.

Through healing touch--a modality that involves prayer to strengthen our energy--I have overcome considerable pain and a lot of psychological junk in the past few seasons. In just a few days, those crazymakers undid a lot of the progress I had made. The pain was back, and so was the inner turmoil that I thought I had put behind me.

My mentor was wonderful. She validated my responses to the abusers, praising me for speaking truthfully to them and for naming their crazymaking behaviors accurately. She advised me to avoid these people in the future; neither one of them is helping me to achieve my goal of recovery from illness and abuse. She reminded me that all it takes is one encounter with a crazymaker to reactivate my PTSD.

I want to say to you, dear reader, that all of the success principles we've been discussing are useless if we live or work with people who make us crazy. It's impossible to be productive and successful when we're spending all of our time defending ourselves against their attacks. We must leave them behind if we want to live a healthy, peaceful, successful life.

Do your homework.
Everyone could use a mentor to help them with their profession, as well as with their personal pursuits. But where do we find them? We can read our specific industry magazines, look on the Internet, ask others in our profession, or attend seminars.

Most people are afraid to approach a mentor for advice. This is silly. Many well-rounded and experienced people are happy to share their secrets for success. By helping us, they can leave a legacy for the next generation.

So how do we approach a mentor? Here's a quick script that is similar to the one from The Success Principles:

Hello, Mrs. Smith. My name is Cheryl. We haven't met yet. I know you're a busy woman, so I'll be brief. I own a small life coaching business. Over the years, I've watched you building your business into one of the most successful in the country. I'm sure you encountered some challenges when you started out. Well, I'm in those early stages, trying to figure everything out. Mrs. Smith, I would really appreciate it if you would consider being my mentor. All that would mean is spending ten minutes on the phone with me once a month so that I could ask you a few questions. I'd really appreciate it. Would you be open to that?

Most mentors will agree when we put it to them this way. If someone turns us down, we must keep asking until we find a good match.

There is a network of over 10,000 retired business volunteers who offer advice. They work for SCORE, Service Corps of Retired Executives. We can find one of them at www.score.org.

I've utilized the services of the Small Business Development Center near me. They've been very helpful in teaching me how to set up my internet shop, Hope Quilts of Ohio. I found them by looking at www.sba.gov/sbdc.

Take action on your mentor's advice.
After we find a mentor, we must not waste her time by ignoring what she advised us to do. In my case, if I invited one of the crazymakers I recently encountered into my home, it would invalidate everything I learned from my mentor.

Be prepared to return the favor.
Whenever possible, we should try to help out our mentors. We can keep them informed about a new trend in our industry or call them with new opportunities for their businesses. One of the best ways to repay the favor is to pay it forward to someone else who needs a mentor. I know that the reason I am so interested in helping others is because so many wonderful women have helped me over the years.

Turn to God for advice, too.
When our mentors are unavailable to us, God is always there to provide wisdom and comfort. Psalm 91:4 is one of my favorite verses: He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge...

There have been many times in the past when an abuser rattled me so badly, I couldn't function. I turned to God, with this vision of being like a small bird nestling under the warmth and protection of his wing. He never failed to comfort me and give me the courage to go back out into the world and try again.

Today's Challenge
We can all use a mentor, either for business advice or life coaching. Figure out today where you need help, then identify someone more experienced than you are to help you reach your goals. Take the initiative to make that phone call and ask for the help you need. Remember, you get what you expect, so think positively about their response!


Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com