Scaling Your Own Mt. Everest of Change

Mountain climbers dream of scaling Mt. Everest, one of the world's most formidable peaks. They see this adventure as the ultimate challenge. Preparing for their ascent requires years of grueling practice with others who have gone ahead of them, building strength, improving techniques, and locating the best equipment.

As survivors of incest or sexual abuse, we've got to push onward and upward if we want to scale our own Mt. Everest of change. The final challenge means we must replace obsolete, fearful thoughts with healthier ones. With the help of our guide, good self-care, and plenty of practice, we can develop this skill so that even the most daunting changes can be made successfully.

Replacing fearful thoughts with healthier ones is known as cognitive restructuring. It is a simple therapeutic technique that involves:

1. recognizing unhealthy thoughts,
2. re-framing past experiences with healthier self-talk based on present truths,
3. and encouraging ourselves to keep moving forward.

Here's an example of what cognitive restructuring would look like for me. As a result of abuse, I previously wrote that I have always been afraid to wash my face or take a shower. My mind has been programmed to think, "Whenever I close my eyes and immerse my face in water, I get abused." My body constantly responded by ramping up adrenalin production and increasing my heart rate in preparation for fight or flight. Even the slightest noise made me gasp and whirl around in fright, preparing to face my perpetrator.


If I want to change, I need to replace those fearful thoughts with something healthier, such as, "In the past, I got hurt when I closed my eyes and immersed my face in water. Today, I am safe in my bathroom. I can relax and enjoy the warmth of the water and the pleasant scent of the soap." At first, I will need to remind myself repeatedly that I am okay. I might simply repeat aloud throughout the bathing process, "I am safe." In time, these new thoughts will communicate to my body that I am safe. With the re-programming of my mind, the adverse physical reactions will eventually end.


With our guide's help and plenty of practice, we can become well-outfitted for the task of changing our lives through positive self-talk. For survivors, these first steps can feel as difficult as climbing Everest. However, when we begin to successfully make small changes, it feels as if we have put on climbing shoes that give our emotional footsteps some traction on those slippery slopes. And when we scale the peak of major change, our new skills can also bring about the most exhilarating feelings of success that we have ever experienced.

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing, and perfect will." (Romans 12:2)