Jack Canfield's Success Principle #17
In today's lesson, Jack directs us to ask for the information, assistance, support, money, and time that we need to fulfill our purposes.
(1) Understand why people are afraid to ask others for help.
Most people are reluctant to ask for help, because they fear looking needy, foolish, or stupid. Their biggest fear is that of rejection.
If we need something, we must not assume that someone will automatically tell us no. Remember that if we do ask, and they say no, we will be no worse off than before we asked. If they say yes to our request, we will be better off.
I've been practicing this habit of asking lately, and it's been working beautifully. In the past, when I was seated at a restaurant, I would just accept whatever table I was given. I didn't want the hostesses to think I was demanding and selfish.
Recently, I've been requesting tables in quieter areas, with more comfortable seats, away from noisy children, and so on. Every time, my request has been answered with a better table, because I pushed aside my fear that hostesses would think I was rude.
(2) Learn how to ask for what you want.
a) Ask as if you expect to get it.
b) Assume that you can get what you want.
c) Ask someone who has the authority to give it to you.
d) Be clear and specific. Vague requests yield vague results.
e) Ask repeatedly, expecting to get lots of no's before you get a yes.
Over the weekend, Joe realized that he needed to make a copy of an important document to give to his father. We were eating breakfast in a restaurant near his home town, and he asked the hostess to make him a copy. She denied his request, and he came back to the table to say he'd have to mail the copy later.
His dad took the document and said, "I can get you a copy." He came back within minutes with four copies. When I asked him how he had succeeded, he said that he knew the woman who manages the restuarant. He went directly to her. He succeeded, because he expected to get what he wanted, and he assumed a positive outcome. He was very specific when he asked for four copies, not just one, so he was pleased with the results. He also had the sense to ask the person with the authority to grant his request.
(3) Learn something from sales statistics.
Jack provides some numbers about the odds of selling something. Basically, a sales person must ask at least five times before giving up. Why? Most buyers will assent to a sale after the fourth sales call. We must remember that the odds are against us if we ask only once. We must ask repeatedly, because something almost always changes to bring about a positive response.
(4) Ask, and it shall be given to you.
In another example, Jack tells about a woman who risked looking foolish by asking her boss to send the sales team to an island for a vacation. Everyone in the room stared at her in silence. The boss surprised everyone by saying that if they met a sales quota, he would do it. They were all thrilled a few months later when he sent them to a tropical island. We don't know what we can get until we ask.
(5) Realize that you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by asking.
This chapter includes a story about a man who desperately wanted a job as a head football coach. He approached several schools and landed a job within a week.
In the late 80s when jobs were scarce, I applied to over 90 school districts for a teaching position. Every day, I got on the phone and called each one to ask if something had opened up. The secretary in one of those districts became very annoyed with me, because they hadn't hired a new teacher in over 30 years. She told me I was wasting my time by calling.
And then suddenly, the teachers in that district went on strike, and a few days later, the administrators were forced to hire three new teachers. I was one of those three people who were hired. Because I took the approach that I had nothing to lose and everything to gain by asking, I got the job.
(6) Be bold, even in asking for money.
Chad Pregracke was 21 years old when he decided that he wanted to clean up the trash along the banks of the Mississippi River. He opened the phone book to the A's and began asking everyone he called if they wanted to give him some money for this task. At first, people were shocked by his bold request, but over the years, he has raised more than $2.5 million. He has removed over one million pounds of garbage with the help of over 4,000 people.
When Joe was in seminary and I had been paralyzed, we were in dire straits financially. It was very humbling, especially to Joe, to ask for help. But other Christians were incredibly generous, and they donated the funds we needed to stay afloat until Joe found a chaplaincy position.
This entire lesson reminds me that Jesus said, For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. (Matt 7:8) God loves us and wants to bless us. If we apply these principles together with prayer, we'll be pleasantly surprised by the results.
Today's Challenge
Make a list of things you want, but haven't yet asked for. Write down the fears related to asking for those things. List what it's costing you not to ask. Then, list the benefits you would receive if you did. Remember to include all areas of your goals: finances, career, recreation, health, relationships, personal growth, and charity. Choose one thing from your list, ask God to help you get it, and start asking for it today. Send me your success story so that I can post it for others to read.
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
Monday, November 29, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Be Willing to Pay the Price
Jack Canfield's Success Principle #16
If we are willing to face overwhelming challenges, setbacks, and pain, we can achieve highly successful outcomes. In today's lesson, Jack Canfield provides us with a number of stories about people who have been willing to pay the price to get what they want.
(1) Remember that pain is temporary; benefits last forever.
In 1976, Shun Fujimoto won the 1976 gold medal in gymnastics, in spite of the fact that he had broken his knee. He endured searing pain, because he knew that it was temporary, and the gold medal would last forever.
(2) Pratice, practice, practice.
Winners are willing to put in more time than the average person to get where they want to be. Basketball player Bill Bradley stayed late afer every practice to put in extra time on the court. He practiced four hours every day. If we want to excel, we must set aside extra time to hone our craft.
(3) Pay the price.
To win, we must put in disciplined effort until we excel at our chosen trade, craft, or profession. Our friend, Bob Russell, started a church in the basement of someone's home with just 25 people. Throughout his career, he insisted that everyone on his team work to a point of excellence, because he strongly believes that God deserves our best. By the time he retired after four decades with Southeast Christian Church of Louisville, Kentucky, he was leading 20,000 people in worship every weekend.
(4) Do it ten times perfectly.
Jack tells a story about clarinetist Tom Boyer, whose teacher demanded that he play an extremely difficult piece 10 times perfectly each day before ending practice. In time, this procedure landed Tom a spot with the Cleveland Orchestra.
I used this same method when I taught my oldest son, Lance, how to drive. He was not allowed to leave our neighborhood until he could shift smoothly all the way around the block ten times without stalling. When he first started, he thought this was ridiculous. But years later, he told me that my demands pushed him to a point of confidence when it was time to drive out of the neighborhood and onto the expressways surrounding Cincinnati.
(5) Determine to achieve your dream at any cost.
The painter, Wyland, decided in high school that he wanted to be famous. He sold paintings around Detroit for $35 when he first started, and it took him 26 years to finally find his niche with his own gallery in Hawaii. Today, his paintings sell for $200,000. Along the way he suffered rejection, poverty, and mistreatment. But he decided that his dream was worth pursuing, and he never gave up.
(6) Do whatever it takes.
ReMax real estate founder John Assaraf pitched his franchise idea to 5 realtors every single day for 5 years. In the beginning, most people thought he was crazy. But in just a few short years, he created the most successful real estate franchise business in the world.
(7) Put in the time.
Author M. Scott Peck sold his book, The Road Less Traveled, for just $5,000. It didn't sell well at first, so he decided to put in as much time as it took to make it take off. In the first year, he participated in 1,000 radio interviews. For the next 12 years, he did at least one radio interview each day. Eventually, he broke a record for the longest time on the New York Times Bestseller list: 540 weeks.
(8) Build momentum.
The NASA space shuttles use up almost all of their fuel during takeoff. Once they break free of earth's atmosphere, however, they barely use any fuel as they float through space. Our efforts in achieving success must be similar. We need to build momentum at the beginning with extra time and energy so that we can later coast along on our early achievements.
(9) Be willing to go through the awkward stage.
Children know that if they are trying to learn something new, they're going to make mistakes. Adults, unfortunately, often expect themselves to be proficient from the very beginning. This is a ridiculous notion that keeps many people from trying to achieve a new goal. We must be willing to accept that we will be awkward at first, and we'll make some silly mistakes. That's okay. In time, we'll gain the proficiency we need.
(10) Find out the price you have to pay.
When you decide that you want to go after something, it's important to research how much it's going to cost you. If you've got a spouse and children, are you going to sacrifice all of your time with them just to achieve your dream? This is the first time in The Success Principles that Jack asks the reader to consider the costs. Be sure that pursuing your dream will not throw your life so far off balance that you lose your family and friends in the process.
Today's Challenge
Choose one of your goals and list the costs of pursuing it. Will it be worth it in the long run? Or will it cost you too dearly? Is there some way to achieve it at a slower pace or to a lesser degree, while still maintaining your most important relationships? If you determine that the price is too dear, reconsider how important the goal is to you.
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
If we are willing to face overwhelming challenges, setbacks, and pain, we can achieve highly successful outcomes. In today's lesson, Jack Canfield provides us with a number of stories about people who have been willing to pay the price to get what they want.
(1) Remember that pain is temporary; benefits last forever.
In 1976, Shun Fujimoto won the 1976 gold medal in gymnastics, in spite of the fact that he had broken his knee. He endured searing pain, because he knew that it was temporary, and the gold medal would last forever.
(2) Pratice, practice, practice.
Winners are willing to put in more time than the average person to get where they want to be. Basketball player Bill Bradley stayed late afer every practice to put in extra time on the court. He practiced four hours every day. If we want to excel, we must set aside extra time to hone our craft.
(3) Pay the price.
To win, we must put in disciplined effort until we excel at our chosen trade, craft, or profession. Our friend, Bob Russell, started a church in the basement of someone's home with just 25 people. Throughout his career, he insisted that everyone on his team work to a point of excellence, because he strongly believes that God deserves our best. By the time he retired after four decades with Southeast Christian Church of Louisville, Kentucky, he was leading 20,000 people in worship every weekend.
(4) Do it ten times perfectly.
Jack tells a story about clarinetist Tom Boyer, whose teacher demanded that he play an extremely difficult piece 10 times perfectly each day before ending practice. In time, this procedure landed Tom a spot with the Cleveland Orchestra.
I used this same method when I taught my oldest son, Lance, how to drive. He was not allowed to leave our neighborhood until he could shift smoothly all the way around the block ten times without stalling. When he first started, he thought this was ridiculous. But years later, he told me that my demands pushed him to a point of confidence when it was time to drive out of the neighborhood and onto the expressways surrounding Cincinnati.
(5) Determine to achieve your dream at any cost.
The painter, Wyland, decided in high school that he wanted to be famous. He sold paintings around Detroit for $35 when he first started, and it took him 26 years to finally find his niche with his own gallery in Hawaii. Today, his paintings sell for $200,000. Along the way he suffered rejection, poverty, and mistreatment. But he decided that his dream was worth pursuing, and he never gave up.
(6) Do whatever it takes.
ReMax real estate founder John Assaraf pitched his franchise idea to 5 realtors every single day for 5 years. In the beginning, most people thought he was crazy. But in just a few short years, he created the most successful real estate franchise business in the world.
(7) Put in the time.
Author M. Scott Peck sold his book, The Road Less Traveled, for just $5,000. It didn't sell well at first, so he decided to put in as much time as it took to make it take off. In the first year, he participated in 1,000 radio interviews. For the next 12 years, he did at least one radio interview each day. Eventually, he broke a record for the longest time on the New York Times Bestseller list: 540 weeks.
(8) Build momentum.
The NASA space shuttles use up almost all of their fuel during takeoff. Once they break free of earth's atmosphere, however, they barely use any fuel as they float through space. Our efforts in achieving success must be similar. We need to build momentum at the beginning with extra time and energy so that we can later coast along on our early achievements.
(9) Be willing to go through the awkward stage.
Children know that if they are trying to learn something new, they're going to make mistakes. Adults, unfortunately, often expect themselves to be proficient from the very beginning. This is a ridiculous notion that keeps many people from trying to achieve a new goal. We must be willing to accept that we will be awkward at first, and we'll make some silly mistakes. That's okay. In time, we'll gain the proficiency we need.
(10) Find out the price you have to pay.
When you decide that you want to go after something, it's important to research how much it's going to cost you. If you've got a spouse and children, are you going to sacrifice all of your time with them just to achieve your dream? This is the first time in The Success Principles that Jack asks the reader to consider the costs. Be sure that pursuing your dream will not throw your life so far off balance that you lose your family and friends in the process.
Today's Challenge
Choose one of your goals and list the costs of pursuing it. Will it be worth it in the long run? Or will it cost you too dearly? Is there some way to achieve it at a slower pace or to a lesser degree, while still maintaining your most important relationships? If you determine that the price is too dear, reconsider how important the goal is to you.
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Develop a Team
Sometimes, we have to table new things that we're reading about and simply throw ourselves out into the world to see what happens. We left yesterday morning for Nashville, and we just got back.
In the span of 36 hours, I traveled 600 miles, had significant conversations with several people about their life's purpose, visited an exhibition of Impressionist painters, learned about the life of glass artist Dale Chihuly, and slept an amazing 11 hours straight.
The thing that struck me the most about my jaunt was the importance of developing a team of supporters. Dale Chihuly began as a glass blower in the 1970s. Over the years, he invited a variety of people to work with him. Today, he is the one of the world's most highly recognized glass artists.
Even though Dale has lost the sight in one eye and cannot lift anything heavy with his right arm, he is still creating magnificent glass objects. He draws a very swift sketch of his idea, and members of his team lift the heavy poles and shove the glass into the furnace. With their two good eyes and strong arms, they execute what he imagines.
I think about where Dale Chihuly would be today if he had insisted on working solo. When he lost his sight and strength, it would have been the end of his production. The world would not be enjoying the jaw-dropping glass objects that his team is still producing. I'm glad that he had the foresight to realize that two heads are always better than one.
We were not put on the planet to carry out our purposes all by ourselves. We need other people to fill in the gaps where we are weak. They need our strengths to help them fulfill their dreams, too.
The apostle Paul compared believers to body parts. He pointed out that each part of our bodies has a special function, just as each person has a special task to perform while he is here on Earth. He wrote, If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? (I Cor 12:17) In other words, each of us is indispensible on God's team.
Who is on your team? If you find yourself walking alone toward your goal, ask someone to help you. You'll discover, as Dale Chihuly did, that two heads are better than one. Who knows? They may one day serve as your eyes or your hands.
Tomorrow, we will resume our study of Jack Canfield's Success Principle #16.
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
In the span of 36 hours, I traveled 600 miles, had significant conversations with several people about their life's purpose, visited an exhibition of Impressionist painters, learned about the life of glass artist Dale Chihuly, and slept an amazing 11 hours straight.
The thing that struck me the most about my jaunt was the importance of developing a team of supporters. Dale Chihuly began as a glass blower in the 1970s. Over the years, he invited a variety of people to work with him. Today, he is the one of the world's most highly recognized glass artists.
Even though Dale has lost the sight in one eye and cannot lift anything heavy with his right arm, he is still creating magnificent glass objects. He draws a very swift sketch of his idea, and members of his team lift the heavy poles and shove the glass into the furnace. With their two good eyes and strong arms, they execute what he imagines.
I think about where Dale Chihuly would be today if he had insisted on working solo. When he lost his sight and strength, it would have been the end of his production. The world would not be enjoying the jaw-dropping glass objects that his team is still producing. I'm glad that he had the foresight to realize that two heads are always better than one.
We were not put on the planet to carry out our purposes all by ourselves. We need other people to fill in the gaps where we are weak. They need our strengths to help them fulfill their dreams, too.
The apostle Paul compared believers to body parts. He pointed out that each part of our bodies has a special function, just as each person has a special task to perform while he is here on Earth. He wrote, If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? (I Cor 12:17) In other words, each of us is indispensible on God's team.
Who is on your team? If you find yourself walking alone toward your goal, ask someone to help you. You'll discover, as Dale Chihuly did, that two heads are better than one. Who knows? They may one day serve as your eyes or your hands.
Tomorrow, we will resume our study of Jack Canfield's Success Principle #16.
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
Friday, November 26, 2010
Dealing with Life's Obstacles
In previous lessons, Jack Canfield wrote about obstacles. He said that we should expect them, deal with them, and move on.
A lovely obstacle walked through my front door last night and caught me by surprise. My son, Ian, showed up unexpectedly for Thanksgiving dinner. This is the kind of obstacle I can easily live with.
We ate too much, talked too much, stayed up too late, and woke up too late. We're scheduled to meet family in another state in four hours, and there's no way I can achieve my goal today of writing about Jack's next lesson.
So, dear reader, enjoy this crazy day of wild shopping. Keep working on your 101 goals, and I'll be back late tomorrow evening.
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
A lovely obstacle walked through my front door last night and caught me by surprise. My son, Ian, showed up unexpectedly for Thanksgiving dinner. This is the kind of obstacle I can easily live with.
We ate too much, talked too much, stayed up too late, and woke up too late. We're scheduled to meet family in another state in four hours, and there's no way I can achieve my goal today of writing about Jack's next lesson.
So, dear reader, enjoy this crazy day of wild shopping. Keep working on your 101 goals, and I'll be back late tomorrow evening.
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
Jack Canfield's Success Principle #15
Many people never achieve their dreams, because they allow fear to get it in the way. Jack provides some helpful methods for overcoming our anxieties that are holding us back.
(1) Understand why we are all fearful.
God built into us an automatic response system that helps us to react to fear. If we are threatened, adrenalin rushes through our system to give us the strength to either fight or flee. This response system can become highly over-reactive in people who have experienced abuse or trauma.
We can regain control over this imbalance if we simply understand that our reaction to fear is natural. Everyone experiences it. We can learn to control it so that nothing stops us from achieving our goals.
(2)Be willing to feel the fear.
If we aren't willing to ever feel some fear, we'll never achieve our dreams. Everyone gets butterflies in their stomachs before speaking before a large audience. But we can learn how to use that fear to our advantage to push onward.
Psalm 118:6-7 reads, The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? If we realize that most of our fears are unfounded and that God protects us along the way, we can develop greater courage to face scary ventures.
(3) Fear is Fantasized Experiences Appearing Real.
Almost all of our fears are self-created. It stands to reason, therefore, that if we create the fantasies of fear in our minds, we can get rid of them.
Jack recommends the following exercise for getting rid of fears:
-Create a list of things we're afraid to do;
-Restate each fear in the following format:
I want to __________________, and I scare myself by imgaining that ____________________________________.
I recognize that I am fearful about jumping back into the workforce after being on disability for many years. In the past, I have been politely asked to give up positions because my health interfered with my performance. Here is what my fear statement would look like:
I want to become independent of disability by writing and publishing books, and I scare myself by imagining that we'll be in trouble financially if I earn enough to end my disability payments and then get sick again.
(4) Get rid of fear.
We can make our fears disappear by asking ourselves what is scary. Then, we can replace that image with its opposite. We can create a new statement that looks like this:
I want to become independent of disability by writing and publishing books, and I imagine that we'll be financially free when I earn so much money that it won't matter if I don't have disability, even if I do get sick again.
(5) Replace the physical sensations that accompany fear.
Jack provides an excellent way to learn how to sense what happens to us physically when we think about our fears. First, we can focus on the feelings that go with fear: tense muscles, headache, uneasy stomach, etc.
Next, we can think about the feelings we'd rather have: joy, calm, confidence, etc.
We can shift back and forth between two of these feelings for 15 seconds each. In other words, think of that uneasiness in your stomach for 15 seconds, and then shift over to the calm that you feel when things go well for you for 15 seconds.
Keep making this shift between fear and calm for 1 to 2 minutes. By the time you're finished with this exercise, you will know that you can control the fear.
(6) Remember back to times when you triumphed in the face of fear.
Think of a time when you were scared, but you mustered up the courage and just did whatever it was that made you fearful. When we face a fear and act anyway, we develop confidence in ourselves. The next time a similar situation occurs, we can remember our courage so that fear doesn't stop us.
This past Sunday, I knew that I needed to go forward at the end of the church service to tell everyone that God had answered their prayers regarding my health. Speaking in front of large crowds has always terrified me, and I didn't want to do it. But I knew that God needed to be honored for his mercy, so I made myself walk up there.
When the pastor handed me the microphone, and I looked out at that sea of faces, I took a deep breath and tried to sound intelligent. My knees were shaking so hard, I thought my legs would give out. But when everyone burst into applause and smiled broadly at me, I realized that I wouldn't have missed that moment for anything. If I can triumph in the face of fear, so can you.
(7) Scale down the risk.
Jack suggests starting with smaller challenges and working our way up to the more difficult ones. By following this excellent advice, we can develop our courage and our confidence.
Talking to small groups of people that I know used to terrify me as much as speaking before a large audience. Now, the small group stuff is a breeze. Someday, the large audiences will be, too.
(8) Figure out if your fear is really a phobia.
If we've got a fear that's preventing us from functioning normally, we've got to deal with it. It's not necessary to be terrified of walking up a set of stairs, flying on an airplane, getting into a car, and so on.
Jack recommends Dr. Roger Callahan's Five-Minute Phobia cure. You can find it at www.ftfrx.com.
Today's Challenge
Today, take a leap and transform your life. Make a list of 10 things that you're afraid to do. Write them out in the format suggested above, and then re-write them with the opposite outcome.
Many people never achieve their dreams, because they allow fear to get it in the way. Jack provides some helpful methods for overcoming our anxieties that are holding us back.
(1) Understand why we are all fearful.
God built into us an automatic response system that helps us to react to fear. If we are threatened, adrenalin rushes through our system to give us the strength to either fight or flee. This response system can become highly over-reactive in people who have experienced abuse or trauma.
We can regain control over this imbalance if we simply understand that our reaction to fear is natural. Everyone experiences it. We can learn to control it so that nothing stops us from achieving our goals.
(2)Be willing to feel the fear.
If we aren't willing to ever feel some fear, we'll never achieve our dreams. Everyone gets butterflies in their stomachs before speaking before a large audience. But we can learn how to use that fear to our advantage to push onward.
Psalm 118:6-7 reads, The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? If we realize that most of our fears are unfounded and that God protects us along the way, we can develop greater courage to face scary ventures.
(3) Fear is Fantasized Experiences Appearing Real.
Almost all of our fears are self-created. It stands to reason, therefore, that if we create the fantasies of fear in our minds, we can get rid of them.
Jack recommends the following exercise for getting rid of fears:
-Create a list of things we're afraid to do;
-Restate each fear in the following format:
I want to __________________, and I scare myself by imgaining that ____________________________________.
I recognize that I am fearful about jumping back into the workforce after being on disability for many years. In the past, I have been politely asked to give up positions because my health interfered with my performance. Here is what my fear statement would look like:
I want to become independent of disability by writing and publishing books, and I scare myself by imagining that we'll be in trouble financially if I earn enough to end my disability payments and then get sick again.
(4) Get rid of fear.
We can make our fears disappear by asking ourselves what is scary. Then, we can replace that image with its opposite. We can create a new statement that looks like this:
I want to become independent of disability by writing and publishing books, and I imagine that we'll be financially free when I earn so much money that it won't matter if I don't have disability, even if I do get sick again.
(5) Replace the physical sensations that accompany fear.
Jack provides an excellent way to learn how to sense what happens to us physically when we think about our fears. First, we can focus on the feelings that go with fear: tense muscles, headache, uneasy stomach, etc.
Next, we can think about the feelings we'd rather have: joy, calm, confidence, etc.
We can shift back and forth between two of these feelings for 15 seconds each. In other words, think of that uneasiness in your stomach for 15 seconds, and then shift over to the calm that you feel when things go well for you for 15 seconds.
Keep making this shift between fear and calm for 1 to 2 minutes. By the time you're finished with this exercise, you will know that you can control the fear.
(6) Remember back to times when you triumphed in the face of fear.
Think of a time when you were scared, but you mustered up the courage and just did whatever it was that made you fearful. When we face a fear and act anyway, we develop confidence in ourselves. The next time a similar situation occurs, we can remember our courage so that fear doesn't stop us.
This past Sunday, I knew that I needed to go forward at the end of the church service to tell everyone that God had answered their prayers regarding my health. Speaking in front of large crowds has always terrified me, and I didn't want to do it. But I knew that God needed to be honored for his mercy, so I made myself walk up there.
When the pastor handed me the microphone, and I looked out at that sea of faces, I took a deep breath and tried to sound intelligent. My knees were shaking so hard, I thought my legs would give out. But when everyone burst into applause and smiled broadly at me, I realized that I wouldn't have missed that moment for anything. If I can triumph in the face of fear, so can you.
(7) Scale down the risk.
Jack suggests starting with smaller challenges and working our way up to the more difficult ones. By following this excellent advice, we can develop our courage and our confidence.
Talking to small groups of people that I know used to terrify me as much as speaking before a large audience. Now, the small group stuff is a breeze. Someday, the large audiences will be, too.
(8) Figure out if your fear is really a phobia.
If we've got a fear that's preventing us from functioning normally, we've got to deal with it. It's not necessary to be terrified of walking up a set of stairs, flying on an airplane, getting into a car, and so on.
Jack recommends Dr. Roger Callahan's Five-Minute Phobia cure. You can find it at www.ftfrx.com.
Today's Challenge
Today, take a leap and transform your life. Make a list of 10 things that you're afraid to do. Write them out in the format suggested above, and then re-write them with the opposite outcome.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Just Lean Into It
Jack Canfield's Success Principle #14
Instead of sitting on the sidelines, deliberating, reflecting, and contemplating, winners make themselves open to opportunities without any guarantees.
(1) Lean into it to create momentum.
When we set a goal, if we lean into it, we will set unseen energy forces in motion. When the universe begins working on our behalf, we begin to meet people and discover opportunities that surprise us.
Today, I want to write about what is happening with a goal that Joe and I chose to pursue. I would like to write books to encourage people to thrive, in spite of their life's circumstances. Joe has always dreamed of sharing his love of God with as many people as possible. We have known for years that this is our purpose, but we have never been able to figure out how to meld the two dreams.
Recently, I leaned into this idea by picking up the phone to call a Small Business Development Center advisor. I had no idea what I was doing, but I was pleasantly surpised by the confidence he exuded about the task. He offered to meet with me one-on-one, and I jumped at the opportunity. Just by leaning into the idea, God set energy and people in motion to help us.
(2) Be willing to start without seeing the whole path.
Jack calls us to be willing to explore what lies ahead of us, even if it is unclear where we may end up. So many people hang back, because of the uncertainty of where life may take them. His advice is to simply start. And once we're on the path, we should just keep taking logical steps in the direction of our dreams.
I had no idea when I met with the business advisor yesterday where this journey would take me. Our objectives are very vague at this point. After talking to this man for an hour, however, the fog began to clear. He laid out a simple plan for incorporating, financing, marketing, and insuring our business. He even gave me an outline for creating a business plan and offered to review it when it was finished. Again, I leaped on the chance for some expert advice, even though we're not entirely sure where all of this will lead.
(3) Roadblocks may be God's way of redirecting us.
Jack warns that we will all encounter obstacles along the way. We must not see them as insurmountable walls that turn us back from achieving our dreams. They are simply problems that we must solve.
At one point, Joe thought that becoming a military chaplain was the way to achieve his dream. But then he met me, and after we married, we decided that moving my three kids around every few years would not be in their best interest. They were struggling with PTSD, and we knew that they needed stability, not uncertainty.
Joe was very distressed by what he thought was the death of his dream. But God had other opportunities in mind for him. Just three years into our marriage, I was sudddenly paralyzed. While in the hospital, Joe looked around and realized that there was an unmet need for spiritual care among the patients and staff. Within months, God opened many doors that led him into hospital chaplaincy. What initally appeared to be a roadblock turned out to be a blessing.
(4) Look for your underlying motivation.
When roadblocks occur that seem to be stopping our forward momentum, we must stop and ask ourselves if we're headed the right way. If we have a goal, but we're beating our heads against a wall over and over, we may need to adjust the way we're trying to achieve it.
I knew before we got married that God was calling us to work together as a team. At one time, we owned a drapery workroom, and I believed that was how we would always work. Boy, was I wrong! Joe hated the tedious attention to detail and the back-breaking installations. He felt completely out of his element, with me trying to teach him what I had known for years. After I got sick, we had to dismantle our business and admit defeat. This left both of us feeling demoralized and confused about working together at anything.
It has taken nearly seven years to get back on track. The Success Principles has helped us to see that our workroom was a roadblock that God used to redirect us. We have set aside our fear of failure and reconsidered our original dreams to help people thrive by sharing the love of Christ with as many as we can.
(5) Keep leaning into it until a clear path appears.
By leaning into our dream to create momentum, we have set ourselves on a path that has not always been clear. There have been many obstacles, but seeing them for what they truly are has cleared away some of the confusion. Meeting with the business advisor has brought us to a point of understanding two things: we will begin with books, seminars, and workshops; and we will eventually open up a retreat center for people who are worn out by the demands of life.
(6) Keep your eyes open for the turning point.
Eventually, something will happen to let us know that we've taken the right path. It may come on the day that we earn more than we ever have, when we are recognized as leaders in our field, or maybe when we send our first retreat center client back out into the world, refreshed and confident that he can thrive because we have shared the love of Christ with him. All of us know what our turning point is. If we keep looking for it, it will eventually occur.
The apostle Paul thought that he was on the right path when he persecuted Christians and had them put to death. Then, God put obstacles in his way: blindness, imprisonment, a shipwreck, and persecution at every turn. Eventually, Paul came to see clearly that he was called to preach the Gospel to both Jews and Gentiles, and then he must die for Christ. When he reached a turning point in his ministry, he praised God, saying, "Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!" (Rom 11:33-34)
Today's Challenge
You've given thought to your dreams. It's time to stop deliberating, contemplating, and reflecting now. Lean into your dream and set the unseen energy force in motion today. Make a phone call, sign up for a class, ask questions, volunteer. Do one thing today and keep leaning into it every day until you reach your goal.
Instead of sitting on the sidelines, deliberating, reflecting, and contemplating, winners make themselves open to opportunities without any guarantees.
(1) Lean into it to create momentum.
When we set a goal, if we lean into it, we will set unseen energy forces in motion. When the universe begins working on our behalf, we begin to meet people and discover opportunities that surprise us.
Today, I want to write about what is happening with a goal that Joe and I chose to pursue. I would like to write books to encourage people to thrive, in spite of their life's circumstances. Joe has always dreamed of sharing his love of God with as many people as possible. We have known for years that this is our purpose, but we have never been able to figure out how to meld the two dreams.
Recently, I leaned into this idea by picking up the phone to call a Small Business Development Center advisor. I had no idea what I was doing, but I was pleasantly surpised by the confidence he exuded about the task. He offered to meet with me one-on-one, and I jumped at the opportunity. Just by leaning into the idea, God set energy and people in motion to help us.
(2) Be willing to start without seeing the whole path.
Jack calls us to be willing to explore what lies ahead of us, even if it is unclear where we may end up. So many people hang back, because of the uncertainty of where life may take them. His advice is to simply start. And once we're on the path, we should just keep taking logical steps in the direction of our dreams.
I had no idea when I met with the business advisor yesterday where this journey would take me. Our objectives are very vague at this point. After talking to this man for an hour, however, the fog began to clear. He laid out a simple plan for incorporating, financing, marketing, and insuring our business. He even gave me an outline for creating a business plan and offered to review it when it was finished. Again, I leaped on the chance for some expert advice, even though we're not entirely sure where all of this will lead.
(3) Roadblocks may be God's way of redirecting us.
Jack warns that we will all encounter obstacles along the way. We must not see them as insurmountable walls that turn us back from achieving our dreams. They are simply problems that we must solve.
At one point, Joe thought that becoming a military chaplain was the way to achieve his dream. But then he met me, and after we married, we decided that moving my three kids around every few years would not be in their best interest. They were struggling with PTSD, and we knew that they needed stability, not uncertainty.
Joe was very distressed by what he thought was the death of his dream. But God had other opportunities in mind for him. Just three years into our marriage, I was sudddenly paralyzed. While in the hospital, Joe looked around and realized that there was an unmet need for spiritual care among the patients and staff. Within months, God opened many doors that led him into hospital chaplaincy. What initally appeared to be a roadblock turned out to be a blessing.
(4) Look for your underlying motivation.
When roadblocks occur that seem to be stopping our forward momentum, we must stop and ask ourselves if we're headed the right way. If we have a goal, but we're beating our heads against a wall over and over, we may need to adjust the way we're trying to achieve it.
I knew before we got married that God was calling us to work together as a team. At one time, we owned a drapery workroom, and I believed that was how we would always work. Boy, was I wrong! Joe hated the tedious attention to detail and the back-breaking installations. He felt completely out of his element, with me trying to teach him what I had known for years. After I got sick, we had to dismantle our business and admit defeat. This left both of us feeling demoralized and confused about working together at anything.
It has taken nearly seven years to get back on track. The Success Principles has helped us to see that our workroom was a roadblock that God used to redirect us. We have set aside our fear of failure and reconsidered our original dreams to help people thrive by sharing the love of Christ with as many as we can.
(5) Keep leaning into it until a clear path appears.
By leaning into our dream to create momentum, we have set ourselves on a path that has not always been clear. There have been many obstacles, but seeing them for what they truly are has cleared away some of the confusion. Meeting with the business advisor has brought us to a point of understanding two things: we will begin with books, seminars, and workshops; and we will eventually open up a retreat center for people who are worn out by the demands of life.
(6) Keep your eyes open for the turning point.
Eventually, something will happen to let us know that we've taken the right path. It may come on the day that we earn more than we ever have, when we are recognized as leaders in our field, or maybe when we send our first retreat center client back out into the world, refreshed and confident that he can thrive because we have shared the love of Christ with him. All of us know what our turning point is. If we keep looking for it, it will eventually occur.
The apostle Paul thought that he was on the right path when he persecuted Christians and had them put to death. Then, God put obstacles in his way: blindness, imprisonment, a shipwreck, and persecution at every turn. Eventually, Paul came to see clearly that he was called to preach the Gospel to both Jews and Gentiles, and then he must die for Christ. When he reached a turning point in his ministry, he praised God, saying, "Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!" (Rom 11:33-34)
Today's Challenge
You've given thought to your dreams. It's time to stop deliberating, contemplating, and reflecting now. Lean into your dream and set the unseen energy force in motion today. Make a phone call, sign up for a class, ask questions, volunteer. Do one thing today and keep leaning into it every day until you reach your goal.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Take Action
Jack Canfield's Success Principle #13
Jack points out in today's lesson that good things begin to flow our way as soon as we take action.
(1) Remember that talk is cheap.
Most people talk about the things they want to do in life, but they never get around to starting. Winners, on the other hand, take action. Once again, Jack hammers home the points from previous chapters:
-Create a vision;
-Set goals;
-Break your goals into small, measurable steps;
-Deal with obstacles that will inevitably come along;
-Visualize your success with positive affirmations; and
-Believe in yourself
(2) Realize that nothing happens until you take action.
Jack held up a $100 bill at a conference and asked the audience who would like to have it. People raised their hands, shouted, and jumped up and down. Jack just stood there, holding the bill. Finally, a woman raced from her seat and snatched it out of his hand. He made the point that you've got to get up and take action if you want to see results.
(3) Pursue your dream like an Olympian.
Ruben Gonzalez was a young man who wanted to compete in the Olympics, but he had never been trained in any sport. He did know that he had one thing going for him: he enjoyed persevering when the going got tough. In spite of his age, lack of training, and limited connections, he picked up the phone one day to get the ball rolling. The training was grueling. He broke bones, and every other man on the team quit during the first year. But not Ruben. He went on to win the Olympics three times in the luge.
We must make up our minds to be like Ruben Gonzalez if we want to achieve our goals. Success takes perseverence and the willingness to fail repeatedly along the way.
(4) Develop a bias for action.
Jack asserts that winners have a bias for action. They can't stand to sit still if they can do something.
If two people are given a task, and one of them sits down to write lengthy action plans while the one biased for action gets on the phone; he will inevitably make it to his goal more quickly. It takes action to make our dreams a reality.
(5) Ready, fire, aim!
Most people are familiar with the phrase, Ready, Aim, Fire! Jack advocates getting ready, firing off a round, and then correcting our aim if we miss the target.
I found myself following this advice a few years ago when I was asked to write a biography. The deadline was only 42 days away, I had to interview the evangelist I was writing about, and I had to incorporate old material from a previous book. It was a daunting task, but I figured God would help me pull it off.
I had never interviewed anyone in my life, but I acted as if I knew what I was doing. I wrote 12-14 hours a day, and on day 42, I delivered the manuscript to the printer. Joe and I drove 300 copies of the book to a seminar two weeks later, where this evangelist was speaking. I was amazed what God was able to do through me, just because I was willing to get ready, fire, and aim.
(6) Do it now!
Putting off what we need to do will never bring about results. Jack calls us to take action today.
Sylvester Stallone watched the heavyweight boxing championship on TV and was inspired to write Rocky. He turned off the TV, grabbed a pencil, and completed the entire script in three days.
When inspiration strikes us, we must take action. If we set aside our excuses and our fears, God will provide us with far more opportunities than if we put off for tomorrow what we should have done today.
(7) Give me a break!
A man was desperate for money, so he prayed, "Oh, Lord, give me a break! Let me win the lottery." Nothing happened, so he knelt beside his bed to pray, "Give me a break! I'm desperate. Let me win the lottery." Still, nothing happened. Finally, he went to the church and knelt before the altar. He cried out, "Give me a break! Let me win the lottery." A bright light shone all around him, and a voice from heaven boomed out, "Give me a break! Buy a lottery ticket."
The point of this joke is to show us that God often waits for us take action before he answers our prayers. Proverbs 3:5 tells us, Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
We don't have to understand God's plans completely in order to take action. All we have to do is trust that he has great things in store for us. If he gives us a dream, he'll make it come true if we boldly step out in faith to do our part.
(8) Fail forward.
Most people do nothing, because they are afraid of failure. We are all going to make mistakes as we go along, so Jack encourages us to look at our failures as opportunities to learn something new.
Joe and I were talking about this concept yesterday. Both of our first marriages ended in divorce, and we'd like to help others in the same situation to feel better afterward. I pointed out that we can't look at our first marriages as failures; they provided us with opportunities to grow so that we could be better spouses the second time around.
Regarding our goals, Jack encourages us to:
-Get started;
-Make mistakes;
-Listen to feedback; and
-Correct our mistakes as we go along.
Today's Challenge
Choose to take action on one of your goals today. Pick up the phone, arrange a meeting, ask for help, send out a letter, write an email. Do something to set the universe in motion as you press on toward your goal.
Jack points out in today's lesson that good things begin to flow our way as soon as we take action.
(1) Remember that talk is cheap.
Most people talk about the things they want to do in life, but they never get around to starting. Winners, on the other hand, take action. Once again, Jack hammers home the points from previous chapters:
-Create a vision;
-Set goals;
-Break your goals into small, measurable steps;
-Deal with obstacles that will inevitably come along;
-Visualize your success with positive affirmations; and
-Believe in yourself
(2) Realize that nothing happens until you take action.
Jack held up a $100 bill at a conference and asked the audience who would like to have it. People raised their hands, shouted, and jumped up and down. Jack just stood there, holding the bill. Finally, a woman raced from her seat and snatched it out of his hand. He made the point that you've got to get up and take action if you want to see results.
(3) Pursue your dream like an Olympian.
Ruben Gonzalez was a young man who wanted to compete in the Olympics, but he had never been trained in any sport. He did know that he had one thing going for him: he enjoyed persevering when the going got tough. In spite of his age, lack of training, and limited connections, he picked up the phone one day to get the ball rolling. The training was grueling. He broke bones, and every other man on the team quit during the first year. But not Ruben. He went on to win the Olympics three times in the luge.
We must make up our minds to be like Ruben Gonzalez if we want to achieve our goals. Success takes perseverence and the willingness to fail repeatedly along the way.
(4) Develop a bias for action.
Jack asserts that winners have a bias for action. They can't stand to sit still if they can do something.
If two people are given a task, and one of them sits down to write lengthy action plans while the one biased for action gets on the phone; he will inevitably make it to his goal more quickly. It takes action to make our dreams a reality.
(5) Ready, fire, aim!
Most people are familiar with the phrase, Ready, Aim, Fire! Jack advocates getting ready, firing off a round, and then correcting our aim if we miss the target.
I found myself following this advice a few years ago when I was asked to write a biography. The deadline was only 42 days away, I had to interview the evangelist I was writing about, and I had to incorporate old material from a previous book. It was a daunting task, but I figured God would help me pull it off.
I had never interviewed anyone in my life, but I acted as if I knew what I was doing. I wrote 12-14 hours a day, and on day 42, I delivered the manuscript to the printer. Joe and I drove 300 copies of the book to a seminar two weeks later, where this evangelist was speaking. I was amazed what God was able to do through me, just because I was willing to get ready, fire, and aim.
(6) Do it now!
Putting off what we need to do will never bring about results. Jack calls us to take action today.
Sylvester Stallone watched the heavyweight boxing championship on TV and was inspired to write Rocky. He turned off the TV, grabbed a pencil, and completed the entire script in three days.
When inspiration strikes us, we must take action. If we set aside our excuses and our fears, God will provide us with far more opportunities than if we put off for tomorrow what we should have done today.
(7) Give me a break!
A man was desperate for money, so he prayed, "Oh, Lord, give me a break! Let me win the lottery." Nothing happened, so he knelt beside his bed to pray, "Give me a break! I'm desperate. Let me win the lottery." Still, nothing happened. Finally, he went to the church and knelt before the altar. He cried out, "Give me a break! Let me win the lottery." A bright light shone all around him, and a voice from heaven boomed out, "Give me a break! Buy a lottery ticket."
The point of this joke is to show us that God often waits for us take action before he answers our prayers. Proverbs 3:5 tells us, Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
We don't have to understand God's plans completely in order to take action. All we have to do is trust that he has great things in store for us. If he gives us a dream, he'll make it come true if we boldly step out in faith to do our part.
(8) Fail forward.
Most people do nothing, because they are afraid of failure. We are all going to make mistakes as we go along, so Jack encourages us to look at our failures as opportunities to learn something new.
Joe and I were talking about this concept yesterday. Both of our first marriages ended in divorce, and we'd like to help others in the same situation to feel better afterward. I pointed out that we can't look at our first marriages as failures; they provided us with opportunities to grow so that we could be better spouses the second time around.
Regarding our goals, Jack encourages us to:
-Get started;
-Make mistakes;
-Listen to feedback; and
-Correct our mistakes as we go along.
Today's Challenge
Choose to take action on one of your goals today. Pick up the phone, arrange a meeting, ask for help, send out a letter, write an email. Do something to set the universe in motion as you press on toward your goal.
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