Violence Never Pays

We are learning this week about how to become more gentle with others as part of my series, Thriving in God's Garden. Today, I would like us to think about what people lose if they are prone to fits of anger and violent behavior.

Violence gets you nowhere.
Proverbs 11:16 (MSG) makes an excellent point about the advantages of gentleness and the futility of violence. It reads, A woman of gentle grace gets respect, but men of rough violence grab for loot.

This verse shows us that if a woman is kindhearted, she will earn the respect of those around her. In contrast, a man who is violent will never receive respect, even if he is wealthy.

I have known a number of very wealthy men who were also violent. They liked to believe that they had their wives' respect and that all other men wished to be like them. The sad truth is that their wives complained bitterly about them behind their backs, and other men thought they were losers.

As survivors of abuse, we must learn how to discern between men who are violent and those who are gentlemen. Often, wealthy men can create illusions that trap unsuspecting women into believing that they are charming. I learned the hard way that wealth can be a great deceiver. Just because a guy has lots of cash to flash around doesn't mean he's a great catch.

Become a woman of gentle grace.
So what, exactly, is gentle grace? In my mind, a woman with this quality is quiet. She doesn't talk loudly or tell crude jokes. She avoids gossip and only speaks about people positively, both to their faces and behind their backs.

If a gentle woman encounters a violent man, she doesn't cower and allow him to mistreat her. On the other hand, she doesn't get into shouting matches with him, either. She is the type who would calmly tell him that he is not permitted to mistreat her, and then she would walk away. If he continued to hurt her, she would remove herself completely out of harm's way. Out on her own, she would not bad-mouth the violent man. She would simply move on with her life of peace.

I would like to become more gentle, but I've got a long way to go. It's so easy to remember the hurts I've suffered and to speak negatively about those who have hurt me. I pray that God will give me more opportunities to speak positively, in spite of all that I've endured.

Today's Challenge
Are you a woman of gentle grace? If not, how can you become gentler and quieter? Ask God to help you change your reactions to violent people so that you maintain your peace, in spite of their behavior.