Embrace Change

Jack Canfield's Success Principle #31

Grow or die.
Change is inevitable. People who are successful know this, and they embrace change. Jack provides two examples of big businesses and their responses to change.

In the early 1900s, Americans were no longer growing up and dying in their hometowns. Many people were moving far from home, and they needed to send flowers to loved ones in other places. A group of florists got together to combine their services with the telegraph system. They founded Florists' Telegraph Delivery, which we know today as FTD. Because those florists embraced change, they thrived.

At the same time, America's railroad system found itself challenged by the auto and airplane industries. However, it saw itself primarily as a transporter of goods, not people. The railroad companies didn't respond to the change as the florists did, and our train system nearly died out. It has never recovered.

When change happens, we can either go along with it or be run over by it. I can remember once asking my 90-year-old grandmother how she had adapted to so much change in her lifetime. We were on a jet, and I remembered stories about the first time she ever rode on a bus. She was nearly 30 years old then, and it was the first time she had ever left her hometown. She shrugged and said, "You just learn to get used to it, I guess." Grandma was the resilient sort, who looked forward to new experiences, even if they were a little frightening.

Become resilent, not resistant.
Many of us who have struggled with PTSD find change extremely difficult. We often develop a condition known as adjustment disorder. This means that we simply cannot adjust to new situations without a lot of interventions.

When we are not safe, change gives us just one more reason to feel that life is slipping out of control. But once we have found safety, it's important to let go of the need to control everything. Otherwise, we simply become rigid people who can't tolerate even the smallest bumps in the road.

If we learn to become resilient, we can bend, like a mighty oak swaying in high winds. When we are resistant, change will break us, just as a high wind might shatter a window.

Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." In other words, to have a relationship with Christ, we must be able to trust him completely, just as a little child would.

In the same way, we must trust God to help us through all of the changes that life throws at us. I think resiliency is synonymous with trust in this instance. Resistant people don't trust that something better lies ahead.

Realize that there are two types of change.
Change comes in one of two forms: cyclical change and structural change. We have no control over either one. Cyclical change occurs several times each year. We see it in the weather, holiday shopping trends, and so on. Most of us adapt to this pretty easily.

Structural change, however, is more difficult to adjust to. It's the type of change that really alters how we do things. Inventions such as the television, telephone, and computer have radically changed the way we live. We must accept these types of structural changes, or they'll do us in.

Learn to adapt to change.
We can all learn to embrace change with one simple exercise. We can look back and list ways that we've adapted to change in the past. We can recognize times when we were at first resistant. When we surrendered to it, though, our lives improved.

I recently went through tremendous change that I thought would crush me. When my daughter left for college, I wasn't sure that I would be able to continue breathing. The first night, I cried for hours. I don't think I've ever seen Joe eyeing me with such concern.

Each day, I just kept getting up and going through the motions. It was difficult, because I had been someone's mommy for nearly thirty years. Without any of my offspring in the house, I felt obsolete.

I knew, though, that I couldn't cry forever. And I couldn't get stuck in that dead zone of wondering what I was going to do with the rest of my life. I decided to get more involved at church, and slowly, my focus began to shift from my children to others.

Today, I can honestly say that being an empty-nester is the best time of life. We have enough money, no one uses up all of the hot water in the morning, food doesn't disappear from the fridge at the speed of light, and we don't lie awake at night waiting for one of the kids to come home. In fact, this phase of my life has become one of the most satisfying. I've successfully launched my kids into the world, and now I get to do the things I've always wanted to.

Today's Challenge
Begin today to look at each new change with excitement and anticipation. To get moving in the right direction, ask yourself these questions from The Success Principles, page 228:

What's changing in my life that I'm currently resisting?
Why am I resisting that change?
What am I afraid of with respect to this change?
What's the cost for keeping things the way they are?
What benefits might there be for me if I cooperate with this change?
What steps must I take to make this change?
When will I take the next step?

Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com