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As a survivor of abuse and trauma, I understand how difficult life can be at times. I hope that you will learn new ways of coping each day, so that life becomes not just a way to survive, but an opportunity to thrive!


AMONG the ASHES will be available November 19!

My mystery, Among the Ashes, will be available November 19, 2011 in paperback and e-book versions. It tells a suspenseful story about a young woman who struggles to understand why she suffers from the anxiety and depression that go along with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). For more information, visit www.cheryldenton.com.


Showing posts with label self-esteem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-esteem. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

What Makes You Light Up?

We are learning how to be more courageous through my series, Confident in God's Hands. Today, I would like to consider the one thing in our lives that makes us light up on the inside like nothing else does. When we discover it, our confidence soars.

Pay attention to your soul's passion.
For each of us, there is one thing that really lights up our soul when we do it. In my case, that one thing is writing. When I sit down at the computer, words flow effortlessly. I lose track of time when working on novels, and I spend all of my free time daydreaming about my next plot twist or point of growth in a character.

That one thing that lights up our soul is the reason why we were sent to earth. It is our life's purpose. When we focus on fulfilling our purpose in this world, our confidence soars. Why? Because God has wired us to do this one thing better than anyone else can.

Many things bring us pleasure, but only one pursuit lights our fire.
We often get confused about what our purpose is, because many things bring us pleasure. In my case, I love playing the piano, dancing with a strong lead, and singing. Jumping over a six-foot brick wall on the back of a horse gives me a charge, and so does snuggling up on the sofa with my poodle.

But none of these things fulfill me as much as writing does. These activities fill my heart with joy, but I don't feel that the world would be worse off if I didn't pursue them.

I do, however, believe that without my voice, many survivors of abuse and trauma would continue to suffer. Knowing that I am helping a fellow survivor to thrive brings me incredible peace. When I hear from my readers that my words have encouraged them, my heart finds incredible joy.

Three tests for discovering our life's purpose
While many pursuits bring me pleasure, they are not my life's purpose. How do I know? There are three tests in figuring out what our purpose is:

1. It is something that consumes our thoughts during the day, enters into our dreams at night, and wakes us up with brilliant new insights most mornings.

2. It is an activity that we would be willing to engage in for at least eight hours every day for the rest of our lives, without ever getting tired of it. We lose all track of time when fulfilling our purpose.

3. We feel so passionate about our need to engage in this activity that we would be willing to do it without pay or recognition. There is a void in the world that we feel must be fulfilled, and we recognize that if we don't do it, no one else will.

God is the source of our soul's passion.
Jesus tells us in John 15:5 (MSG) I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you're joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can't produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood, gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon. This is how my Father shows who he is—when you produce grapes, when you mature as my disciples.

This doesn't mean that we're supposed to literally grow grapes. Jesus used figures of speech to make many important points. His message here reminds us that we will discover our life's passion when we spend time daily reading the Bible and praying for direction. And once the Lord has revealed to us what we're supposed to be doing, he'll provide abundant success for us, as long as we remain firmly connected to him.

Today's Challenge
Have you identified your life's purpose? If not, begin thinking about which activities bring you pleasure. Take note of what you're dreaming about doing, and consider whether or not an activity is so important to you that you would do it all day long without pay. Ask God to direct you to that one thing which will light up your soul.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Unleash the Power of Goal Setting, Day 3

Jack Canfield's Success Principle #3

Joe and I spent the last two days taking a trip to Michigan. We talked for nearly eight hours during our journey about this lesson. The trip was a lot of fun, and we hashed over lots of great ideas. We arrived home late, worn out from the brainstorming, but satisfied with the results.

As I suspected when this principle was introduced on Sunday, it was far too much information to digest in a short time span. I tried to come up with my 101 goals, and I began to feel completely overwhelmed. I would need to live to be about 500 years old to finish everything on my list.

Two problems became apparent. First, I set too many goals that were extremely difficult. Whenever I do something, I want to master it. I'm not satisfied to just try out a new interest and then move on. So, the more goals I set, the more burdened I felt. One of my goals is to be less perfectionistic.

Second, I don't think that anyone can work on 101 goals at one time. Interestingly, we were listening to Jack Canfield's book, Self-Esteem and Peak Performance on the way home. He suggested focusing on no more than 10 goals at a time. Ideally, he felt that 3 goals would be manageable for most people.

So why did Jack tell us to write 101 goals in this lesson? I think the method behind this madness was to force us to think bigger and to think long-term. All too often, we can't see the forest for the trees. We're focused on goals, such as getting all the laundry done or paying off a car loan. Jack wants to push us to think of bigger dreams, such as visiting the Eiffel Tower or publishing a book.

I didn't get my goals onto 3 x 5 cards, because I was so confused by my 101-item list. However, the process did spawn some really great conversations for both Joe and me about our goals. I narrowed down my top three pursuits for 2011, and I'll be writing them on my cards tomorrow.

I already had my Goals Book finished from working on this last year, but in many places, I found that it is missing measurable outcomes and deadlines. I'm going to add those and continue to use the book to keep myself focused on my purpose.

Today's Challenge
I would recommend writing out 3 x 5 cards for your most pressing 10 goals. Then, I would focus on one to three of those goals at a time. Keep your list of 101 goals in your Goals Book, and alter it as you have time. As life moves on, you may find that some goals need to be altered, and others become less important to you.