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As a survivor of abuse and trauma, I understand how difficult life can be at times. I hope that you will learn new ways of coping each day, so that life becomes not just a way to survive, but an opportunity to thrive!


AMONG the ASHES will be available November 19!

My mystery, Among the Ashes, will be available November 19, 2011 in paperback and e-book versions. It tells a suspenseful story about a young woman who struggles to understand why she suffers from the anxiety and depression that go along with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). For more information, visit www.cheryldenton.com.


Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

What Makes You Light Up?

We are learning how to be more courageous through my series, Confident in God's Hands. Today, I would like to consider the one thing in our lives that makes us light up on the inside like nothing else does. When we discover it, our confidence soars.

Pay attention to your soul's passion.
For each of us, there is one thing that really lights up our soul when we do it. In my case, that one thing is writing. When I sit down at the computer, words flow effortlessly. I lose track of time when working on novels, and I spend all of my free time daydreaming about my next plot twist or point of growth in a character.

That one thing that lights up our soul is the reason why we were sent to earth. It is our life's purpose. When we focus on fulfilling our purpose in this world, our confidence soars. Why? Because God has wired us to do this one thing better than anyone else can.

Many things bring us pleasure, but only one pursuit lights our fire.
We often get confused about what our purpose is, because many things bring us pleasure. In my case, I love playing the piano, dancing with a strong lead, and singing. Jumping over a six-foot brick wall on the back of a horse gives me a charge, and so does snuggling up on the sofa with my poodle.

But none of these things fulfill me as much as writing does. These activities fill my heart with joy, but I don't feel that the world would be worse off if I didn't pursue them.

I do, however, believe that without my voice, many survivors of abuse and trauma would continue to suffer. Knowing that I am helping a fellow survivor to thrive brings me incredible peace. When I hear from my readers that my words have encouraged them, my heart finds incredible joy.

Three tests for discovering our life's purpose
While many pursuits bring me pleasure, they are not my life's purpose. How do I know? There are three tests in figuring out what our purpose is:

1. It is something that consumes our thoughts during the day, enters into our dreams at night, and wakes us up with brilliant new insights most mornings.

2. It is an activity that we would be willing to engage in for at least eight hours every day for the rest of our lives, without ever getting tired of it. We lose all track of time when fulfilling our purpose.

3. We feel so passionate about our need to engage in this activity that we would be willing to do it without pay or recognition. There is a void in the world that we feel must be fulfilled, and we recognize that if we don't do it, no one else will.

God is the source of our soul's passion.
Jesus tells us in John 15:5 (MSG) I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you're joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can't produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood, gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon. This is how my Father shows who he is—when you produce grapes, when you mature as my disciples.

This doesn't mean that we're supposed to literally grow grapes. Jesus used figures of speech to make many important points. His message here reminds us that we will discover our life's passion when we spend time daily reading the Bible and praying for direction. And once the Lord has revealed to us what we're supposed to be doing, he'll provide abundant success for us, as long as we remain firmly connected to him.

Today's Challenge
Have you identified your life's purpose? If not, begin thinking about which activities bring you pleasure. Take note of what you're dreaming about doing, and consider whether or not an activity is so important to you that you would do it all day long without pay. Ask God to direct you to that one thing which will light up your soul.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Who is More Powerful than God?

We continue today with our series, Confident in God's Hands. This week, we are considering how fear robs us of confidence.

Is God the most powerful force in the universe?
In recent weeks, tornadoes have ripped through our country, leaving downed trees and power lines, and devastating homes and businesses in their wakes. Whenever we see natural disasters, such as tornadoes, tsunamis, and earthquakes, we are awed by the power of Mother Nature. But who do we beleive is behind all of her power?

I believe that God controls everything, even the wind and the waves. When Jesus walked on water, he did so in the middle of a squall on the Sea of Gallilee. It amazed the disciples that he could walk on water, but what really awed them was Jesus' ability to make the storm stop with three simple words, Quiet! Be still. (Mark 4:39 NIV)

We must believe that God, not Mother Nature, is behind such powerful energy. Doing so helps us to become more confident. How? The apostle Paul wrote, If God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31 NIV) If God can control a squall with a few simple words, he can surely speak on our behalf to help us out of difficult situations.

Can anything outpower God?
The Bible tells us that there is no person or power greater than God. Paul wrote in Romans 8:37-39 (NIV), No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

If God can outsmart and overpower death, demons, the future, and every other existing power, why should we ever be afraid? As long as we belong to God, we have nothing to fear!

Why do we have such poor self-confidence?
Imagine how much we could all accomplish if we had no fears. I would ride a horse again over four-foot high brick walls without fearing that I might fall off and reinjure my head. I'd swim in the ocean without worrying about sharks, sting rays and jelly fish hurting me. What would you do?

Without fear, I would be free to live the way God wants me to. The problem for all of us is that Satan whispers in our ears every day that we'd better not trust God to protect us. He uses our fears to keep us from relying on God when we feel weak. And as our fears mount, our confidence shrinks.

Can we overcome our greatest fears?
Most of us don't even realize how much we are controlled by our fears. If we are aware of them, we've learned ways of coping so that we constantly dance around them.

Our fears are like venemous snakes crawling freely about our homes. Instead of calling in a snake handler to get rid of them, we barricade ourselves in the rooms that are snake-free, or we tiptoe around the slithering creatures.

Living with fear, like living with snakes, robs us of the ability to relax. Who can laugh or dance or sing with snakes underfoot? And yet we pretend that we can fully live with fears controlling our every move.

For the next six weeks, we will learn how to fully acknowledge our fears, look into the causes of them, and eventually learn to replace our anxious responses to life with better coping skills. I hope that you will journey with me as we learn to become conquerers over fear, confident in God's hands.

Today's Challenge
Memorize Romans 8:31: If God is for us, who can be against us? The next time you become fearful, anxious, or worried about a situation, repeat this passage to yourself.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Self-Control Protects Us From Evil

This week marks the last of my nine-week series, Thriving in God's Garden. This study has been based on the fruit of the Spirit, which is found in Galatians 5:22: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. We conclude with five lessons about self-control.

Don't leave yourself open to evil.
Proverbs 25:28 (MSG) reads, A person without self-control is like a house with its doors and windows knocked out. What does this mean?

In recent weeks, an F-5 tornado raced across the southern and midwestern United States, leaving a path of destruction in its mile-wide wake. Joe and I drove through some of the areas that were hit, and we were shocked by the devastation. At one exit along the interstate, enormous commercial buildings were missing roofs, windows, and walls.

Consider how vulnerable a building is without its roof, doors, or windows. Looters can steal merchandise from inside, rain can cause further damage, and wild animals can take up residence there. It is completely unprotected.

Like a building with its doors and windows missing, we can open ourselves up to all kinds of evil if we lack self-control. This week, we will be looking into what happens when we fail to control our appetites, our sex drives, our daily routines, and our emotions.

God is our best ally when learning self-control.
My greatest challenge in the area of self-control is my tongue. I tend to talk far more than I listen. Maybe that's why I feel compelled to write so many words every day!

No matter what challenges us, God can help. We can pray that he will show us areas of our lives that are out of control. Being blind to our faults can be problematic, particularly if we are always focused on others' flaws.

We can also pray that God will teach us to develop greater self-control. Doing this makes us more mindful of the things that we need to change, and it gives God opportunities to put us in situations where we will need to exercise self-control.

Today's Challenge
Consider what it means to you to be self-controlled. Ask God to show you where you need to improve, and then in your journal, write down instances when you failed to exercise self-control. Pray for opportunities to exhibit greater self-control the next time a similar situation arises.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Be Faithful in Prayer

We continue with my series, Thriving in God's Garden, a study based on Galatians 5:22 (NIV): But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Today, we take a look at faithfulness regarding prayer.

We turn to God in prayer during difficult times.
The apostle Paul reminded the early Christians that prayer was essential at all times. He wrote in Romans 12:12 (NIV): Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

When we encounter struggles, we begin to cry out to God for relief. During the difficult times in our life, we discover the nearness of God through prayer. Later, when we look back, we can often see how closely he was walking with us through a challenge.

After I got divorced, my ex-husband repeatedly filed lawsuits against me in an effort to deny me custody of our children. It was, without a doubt, the most difficult time of my life. I have never prayed so much. During that challenge, I can also say that I have never been so wowed by God's power in response to prayer.

One day, I was waiting for a judge's verdict in court. He was about to remove a restraining order against my ex-husband, which had been providing my children and me with tremendous relief from being harassed at every turn.

When the judge declared that he was lifting the restraining order, I began to fervently and silently pray, "God, please make him change his mind."

Within seconds, the judge leaped to his feet, ripped the court orders in half, and said, "No! I can't do this. I've changed my mind!"

My ex-husband's attorney shouted, "On what grounds?"

The judge threw his arms into the air and said, "It doesn't matter. I've changed my mind!" He charged out of the room and slammed the door.

I sat there, stunned by the power of my prayer. Not only had God turned around the outcome, but the judge had actually spoken the exact same words I had been praying!

We should also seek God when life is good.
Imagine how different our relationship with God would be if we prayed that fervently all the time. So often, we only pray when we're in trouble. God wants to hear from us every day...in good times and in bad.

While I have never experienced anything quite as startling during my daily prayer time as I did on that day in court, I can say that the discipline of regular prayer draws me closer to God. And when he and I are communicating regularly, it is easier for me to see his hand at work.

When I thank God for the beauty of his creation, for improvements in my health that allow me to care for myself, for my family, for my friends, and for the freedom of life in a great nation; I feel his presence.

Because I am mindful of my relationship with God through prayer, he speaks to me through Scripture, other people, and circumstances during good times and bad. And when I ask God questions or request specific directions from him, I am always amazed by the ways in which he answers. It is comforting to me to know that asking God for advice always keeps me moving in the right direction.

Today's Challenge
Make it a habit to faithfully talk with God daily. Tell him about your joys, as well as your needs. Develop a deeper relationship with him by asking a question and then waiting for his answer. You will be surprised by the ways he answers.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Ask God to Forgive You

Over the course of my series, Removing the Roadblocks to Forgiveness, we have learned how abuse or trauma has left us broken. We have studied God's character so that we can imitate him. Yesterday, we looked into our own character and asked God to reveal our faults. Today, we take the next step on the road to forgiveness by asking God to forgive us.

The Lord's Prayer
All of us are guilty of sinning. Therefore, we need to go to God daily to ask him for forgiveness. When someone asked how we are supposed to pray, Jesus gave us the model for prayer known as The Lord's Prayer:

You should pray like this: Our Father in heaven, help us to honor your name. Come and set up your kingdom, so that everyone on earth will obey you, as you are obeyed in heaven. Give us our food for today. Forgive us for doing wrong, as we forgive others. Matthew 6:9-12 (CEV)

There are two types of forgiveness prayers.
We learned earlier that God's grace provides us with salvation from eternal punishment when we say that we believe in Jesus as our savior. When we arrive at the point of surrendering control of our lives to Christ, we pray for forgiveness so that we might be saved. We only need to pray for that type of forgiveness once. We need just one salvation, and we can never lose it unless we later denounce God the Father, Son, or Holy Spirit.

Let me simplify this concept for you. If we love someone and desire to marry them, we go to a person licensed by the state to join us as husband and wife. There is no need to return daily, weekly, or annually to that officiant to be married over and over. Once is enough. The same is true of our adoption into God's family. One prayer asking for forgiveness and surrendering control is adequate.

The second type of forgiveness prayer does need to occur daily. The Bible clearly tells us in the passage above that we need to talk to God daily. During our time with him, we need to ask him to forgive us for our daily sins so that we can also forgive others.

This type of forgiveness prayer is designed to help us restore our relationship with God each day. Because if we're all sinners, we're constantly breaking down that relationship.

To clarify this, we can think again of the marriage model. We don't need to find someone daily to re-marry us to our spouses. But we do need to tell our spouses daily that we love them. Imagine how difficult it would be to remain in a relationship with a spouse that you never talked to, never spent time with, never loved, or never apologized to. Such a marriage would be unbearable.

God loves us and wants to have a close, vital relationship with us every day. If we fail to go to him to confess our faults, we create a really strained and distant relationship with him that lacks the peace we are seeking.

Sometimes, we can't identify our sins.
There will be times when we can't identify any sin in ourselves. This does not mean that we are sin-free. It simply means that we need to spend more time reflecting on who we truly are. Scripture clearly tells us that we are liars if we claim to be without sin:

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives. (I John 1:8-10 NIV)

Even when we can't see any sin in ourselves, it is still present. By following the discipline of daily prayer, asking God to forgive us, we put ourselves into a closer relationship with him.

Our own forgiveness comes before we can forgive our enemies.
We must ask for our own forgiveness before we can fully forgive the person who has hurt us. Why? If we don't understand the process of our own forgiveness, we can't possibly understand what is expected of our enemies.

If we don't personally experience the forgiveness of our own sins, and we expect our enemies to apologize to us on our terms; all we're really looking for is control over the situation. Our pride demands that our enemy gives us back the power that we lost so that we can continue to feel superior toward him.

By fully recognizing God's righteousness and our own faults, we see that all people need forgiveness. We level the playing field so that we are no longer superior to anyone in need of forgiveness, including that person who has hurt us most deeply.

God showed me where I was wrong.
The image of my father being taken away in handcuffs will forever be imprinted in my mind. At that moment, I realized that all of us deserve punishment for our sins. God's angels could be taking me away in cuffs to spend eternity separated from God. The only difference between my father and me is that he committed a sin that also happened to break a law.

God has used my father's crimes and his sentencing to reveal to me my sin of pride. This new understanding of my own faults has drastically changed the way I look at myself and the process of forgiving. Until God revealed this flaw to me, I was stuck in the forgiveness process. What's holding you back from forgiving?

Today's ChallengeIf there is something keeping you from forgiving an enemy, ask God to reveal your own sin. When he does, admit it to God and ask for his forgiveness. As soon as you do, peace will flow into your life, as it has in mine.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Pray for Me Today

I would like to ask you to pray for my family and for me today. My father will be sentenced for the crime of molesting one of his granddaughters. Ask God to reveal his love and grace through us as we attend the hearing where our criminal justice system will determine my father's future. As we grieve this loss within our family, ask God to provide us with comfort and peace.

Tomorrow, we will continue with our series, Removing the Roadblocks to Forgiveness. Thank you for your prayers.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Inquire Within

Jack Canfield's Success Principle #47

Trust your intuition.
Jack talks in this lesson about the small voice from within that we know as intuition. I prefer to think of intuition as direction from the Holy Spirit. Many people have learned to pay attention to God's advice and have experienced success. You can, too.

Develop your intution through meditation.
Jack recommends using meditation to access intuition. What is meditation? It's the process of clearing our minds and stilling our souls so that we can tap into messages from God. By focusing on our breathing, one word, a phrase, or an image; we can filter out extraneous thoughts so that we can hear the voice of the Holy Spirit.

Make time to listen.
Learning to meditate is not difficult, but it takes time. Like any discipline, it requires that we practice it regularly. Yoga, Healing Touch, and massage therapy are just a few of the ways we can relax deeply so that we can connect with God.

Jack also recommends sitting in nature, listening to inspiring music, praying, or writing in a personal journal. God has so many things he wants to say to us, but we must make time to listen if we are going to benefit from his words.

We may receive messages from God in the form of an audible voice, a sensation, a vision, a dream, words spoken by other people, or phrases from the Bible.

In the movie, Bruce Almighty, the main character asked God for a sign. Immediately, a truck full of road signs forced him off the road. This comical answer to prayer illustrates powerfully that God can show us the direction he wants us to take, provided we're paying attention.

Ask questions.
God can provide answers to anything we need to know. All we have to do is ask. Some sample questions include:

-Should I take this job?
-How can I achieve my ideal weight?
-How do I set boundaries?
-Should I marry this person?
-When should I sell the house?
-Who can I ask for help?

Write down the answers.
When we ask God questions, it is imperative that we immediately write down his answers. Research indicates that any new idea that is not written down within 37 seconds will never be recalled again.

Jack recommends using a digital voice recorder or 3 x 5 cards to record God's answers to our most pressing questions. For years, I have kept a journal beside my bed, where I record visions, dreams, and messages from God.

Take immediate action.
If we are going to tap into God's power, we must take immediate action whenever he gives us an answer. Jack provides a few inspiring examples of people who responded swiftly to God's directives.

When Jesus called his disciples, they all responded instantly. In Matthew 4:19-20, we see this clearly when Jesus called Peter and Andrew. "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." At once they left their nets and followed him.

I have often wondered why these twelve men dropped everything to follow Jesus. I have come to understand that his divine love must have compelled them to trust him completely. I believe that the more we trust God, the more quickly he provides us with ways to accomplish our dreams.

Today's Challenge
Spend some time today jotting down questions to important problems you are facing. Then, sit quietly and ask God to give you some answers. When they come to you, write them down immediately. Then, take swift action to carry out whatever God has instructed you to do.