Over the course of my series, Removing the Roadblocks to Forgiveness, we have learned how abuse or trauma has left us broken. We have studied God's character so that we can imitate him. Yesterday, we looked into our own character and asked God to reveal our faults. Today, we take the next step on the road to forgiveness by asking God to forgive us.
The Lord's Prayer
All of us are guilty of sinning. Therefore, we need to go to God daily to ask him for forgiveness. When someone asked how we are supposed to pray, Jesus gave us the model for prayer known as The Lord's Prayer:
You should pray like this: Our Father in heaven, help us to honor your name. Come and set up your kingdom, so that everyone on earth will obey you, as you are obeyed in heaven. Give us our food for today. Forgive us for doing wrong, as we forgive others. Matthew 6:9-12 (CEV)
There are two types of forgiveness prayers.
We learned earlier that God's grace provides us with salvation from eternal punishment when we say that we believe in Jesus as our savior. When we arrive at the point of surrendering control of our lives to Christ, we pray for forgiveness so that we might be saved. We only need to pray for that type of forgiveness once. We need just one salvation, and we can never lose it unless we later denounce God the Father, Son, or Holy Spirit.
Let me simplify this concept for you. If we love someone and desire to marry them, we go to a person licensed by the state to join us as husband and wife. There is no need to return daily, weekly, or annually to that officiant to be married over and over. Once is enough. The same is true of our adoption into God's family. One prayer asking for forgiveness and surrendering control is adequate.
The second type of forgiveness prayer does need to occur daily. The Bible clearly tells us in the passage above that we need to talk to God daily. During our time with him, we need to ask him to forgive us for our daily sins so that we can also forgive others.
This type of forgiveness prayer is designed to help us restore our relationship with God each day. Because if we're all sinners, we're constantly breaking down that relationship.
To clarify this, we can think again of the marriage model. We don't need to find someone daily to re-marry us to our spouses. But we do need to tell our spouses daily that we love them. Imagine how difficult it would be to remain in a relationship with a spouse that you never talked to, never spent time with, never loved, or never apologized to. Such a marriage would be unbearable.
God loves us and wants to have a close, vital relationship with us every day. If we fail to go to him to confess our faults, we create a really strained and distant relationship with him that lacks the peace we are seeking.
Sometimes, we can't identify our sins.
There will be times when we can't identify any sin in ourselves. This does not mean that we are sin-free. It simply means that we need to spend more time reflecting on who we truly are. Scripture clearly tells us that we are liars if we claim to be without sin:
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives. (I John 1:8-10 NIV)
Even when we can't see any sin in ourselves, it is still present. By following the discipline of daily prayer, asking God to forgive us, we put ourselves into a closer relationship with him.
Our own forgiveness comes before we can forgive our enemies.
We must ask for our own forgiveness before we can fully forgive the person who has hurt us. Why? If we don't understand the process of our own forgiveness, we can't possibly understand what is expected of our enemies.
If we don't personally experience the forgiveness of our own sins, and we expect our enemies to apologize to us on our terms; all we're really looking for is control over the situation. Our pride demands that our enemy gives us back the power that we lost so that we can continue to feel superior toward him.
By fully recognizing God's righteousness and our own faults, we see that all people need forgiveness. We level the playing field so that we are no longer superior to anyone in need of forgiveness, including that person who has hurt us most deeply.
God showed me where I was wrong.
The image of my father being taken away in handcuffs will forever be imprinted in my mind. At that moment, I realized that all of us deserve punishment for our sins. God's angels could be taking me away in cuffs to spend eternity separated from God. The only difference between my father and me is that he committed a sin that also happened to break a law.
God has used my father's crimes and his sentencing to reveal to me my sin of pride. This new understanding of my own faults has drastically changed the way I look at myself and the process of forgiving. Until God revealed this flaw to me, I was stuck in the forgiveness process. What's holding you back from forgiving?
Today's ChallengeIf there is something keeping you from forgiving an enemy, ask God to reveal your own sin. When he does, admit it to God and ask for his forgiveness. As soon as you do, peace will flow into your life, as it has in mine.
Showing posts with label confession. Show all posts
Showing posts with label confession. Show all posts
Friday, March 18, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Admit Your Faults
We continue with our series, Removing the Roadblocks to Forgiveness. Now that we have learned how to recognize both righteousness and sin, we move on today with a look into our own faults. Recognizing that we are not perfect takes us one step closer to forgiving our enemies who have abused or traumatized us.
Forgiveness is impossible without humility.
If we want to forgive someone, we cannot keep an attitude of pride or superiority toward them. If we approach forgiveness with our noses in the air, we either make our enemies defensive, or we make them feel insignificant. Neither outcome is pleasing to God, who calls us to love one another.
I Peter 5:5 (NIV) tells us, All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." We can see that our efforts to forgive will be opposed by God if we approach the process with prideful attitudes. Our efforts are backed up by God's grace is we approach forgiveness with humility.
Stop judging your enemy.
There is an old saying that whenever we point a finger at someone, there are three others pointing back at us. We cannot forgive if we are focused on our enemy's sins. Jesus said in Matthew 7:3-5 (NIV):
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
Beginning today, stop thinking about and clinging to all of the things that your enemy did to hurt you. Release these bitter thoughts to God and focus, instead, on the sweetness of his love for you.
Start examining yourself.
Lamentations 3:40 (NIV) reads, Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord. Before any of us can forgive, we must look deep within to examine the condition of our own hearts. We are all sinners, and those of us who have suffered abuse or trauma generally carry with us sins such as anger, revenge, pride, and hatred.
I am not asking you to examine yourself to see if you have any sin. I'm asking you to look into your soul to see which sins need to be addressed. Through prayer, ask God to reveal your sins to you. Ask a trusted friend or your spouse what sins they see in you.
Admit your sins to God.
After you have identified which sins are hindering you from forgiving, admit them to God. He already knows what they are, but confessing them to him will relieve you of the burden of carrying them around.
Tell God that you have made a mess of your life and that you cannot manage it any longer. Ask him to lead you. Then pray that God will give you the good sense to follow him, rather than expecting him to act like a genie in a bottle whenever you need him to carry out a task for you. Remember, Christianity is about learning how to be a follower, not the leader. Leading is God's job, not ours.
Tell one other person about your sins.
We are not required to go to confession to have our sins forgiven. Jesus' death on the cross and resurrection gave us full access to him. However, I believe that telling someone whom we can trust about our faults gives us a great deal of leverage against sin. With an accountability partner knowing about our shortcomings, we have greater power through their prayers and encouragement.
Admitting our own faults is an important step in the forgiveness process. Why? Because we expect our enemies to admit their faults to us. And if we're going to come to an understanding of how difficult that can be for them, we must be willing to do it first.
I think about how hard it must have been for my father to carry around the secret of child molestation for so many years. Imagine how hard that would be. If just one child spoke out, his life would come tumbling down like a house of cards.
I am grateful that my dad finally confessed to the police about what he did to my daughter. It spared her from tremendous embarrassment and the stress involved with court appearances. More importantly, it set him on the road to forgiveness alongside us.
As we travel this journey, we are struggling to forgive someone who has deeply hurt us. It is important to remember that our enemies are struggling just as hard to let go of their sins. By admitting our own faults, we walk in their shoes. In doing so, we can begin to empathize with their battle.
Today's Challenge
Set aside some time for reflection and prayer. Ask God to reveal sins that you may not even be aware of in your quest to forgive. When they surface, write them down in your journal. Admit your sins to God and to one other trusted person. Write down how you think your enemy might be feeling about admitting his own faults. Begin to pray for him.
Forgiveness is impossible without humility.
If we want to forgive someone, we cannot keep an attitude of pride or superiority toward them. If we approach forgiveness with our noses in the air, we either make our enemies defensive, or we make them feel insignificant. Neither outcome is pleasing to God, who calls us to love one another.
I Peter 5:5 (NIV) tells us, All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." We can see that our efforts to forgive will be opposed by God if we approach the process with prideful attitudes. Our efforts are backed up by God's grace is we approach forgiveness with humility.
Stop judging your enemy.
There is an old saying that whenever we point a finger at someone, there are three others pointing back at us. We cannot forgive if we are focused on our enemy's sins. Jesus said in Matthew 7:3-5 (NIV):
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
Beginning today, stop thinking about and clinging to all of the things that your enemy did to hurt you. Release these bitter thoughts to God and focus, instead, on the sweetness of his love for you.
Start examining yourself.
Lamentations 3:40 (NIV) reads, Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord. Before any of us can forgive, we must look deep within to examine the condition of our own hearts. We are all sinners, and those of us who have suffered abuse or trauma generally carry with us sins such as anger, revenge, pride, and hatred.
I am not asking you to examine yourself to see if you have any sin. I'm asking you to look into your soul to see which sins need to be addressed. Through prayer, ask God to reveal your sins to you. Ask a trusted friend or your spouse what sins they see in you.
Admit your sins to God.
After you have identified which sins are hindering you from forgiving, admit them to God. He already knows what they are, but confessing them to him will relieve you of the burden of carrying them around.
Tell God that you have made a mess of your life and that you cannot manage it any longer. Ask him to lead you. Then pray that God will give you the good sense to follow him, rather than expecting him to act like a genie in a bottle whenever you need him to carry out a task for you. Remember, Christianity is about learning how to be a follower, not the leader. Leading is God's job, not ours.
Tell one other person about your sins.
We are not required to go to confession to have our sins forgiven. Jesus' death on the cross and resurrection gave us full access to him. However, I believe that telling someone whom we can trust about our faults gives us a great deal of leverage against sin. With an accountability partner knowing about our shortcomings, we have greater power through their prayers and encouragement.
Admitting our own faults is an important step in the forgiveness process. Why? Because we expect our enemies to admit their faults to us. And if we're going to come to an understanding of how difficult that can be for them, we must be willing to do it first.
I think about how hard it must have been for my father to carry around the secret of child molestation for so many years. Imagine how hard that would be. If just one child spoke out, his life would come tumbling down like a house of cards.
I am grateful that my dad finally confessed to the police about what he did to my daughter. It spared her from tremendous embarrassment and the stress involved with court appearances. More importantly, it set him on the road to forgiveness alongside us.
As we travel this journey, we are struggling to forgive someone who has deeply hurt us. It is important to remember that our enemies are struggling just as hard to let go of their sins. By admitting our own faults, we walk in their shoes. In doing so, we can begin to empathize with their battle.
Today's Challenge
Set aside some time for reflection and prayer. Ask God to reveal sins that you may not even be aware of in your quest to forgive. When they surface, write them down in your journal. Admit your sins to God and to one other trusted person. Write down how you think your enemy might be feeling about admitting his own faults. Begin to pray for him.
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