Figure Out What Matters to You

We are learning how to be more confident as survivors of abuse or trauma in my series, Confident in God's Hands. Today, we think about what matters the most to us so that we can build on it to create more courage.

The Pine Beetle
People who raise trees for a living start having anxiety attacks when they hear pine beetle. This wood-boring insect can destroy acres of trees within a very short period of time, wiping out decades of growth and profits.

I know a man who owns thousands of acres of pine trees. If you were to ask him what he felt passionate about, he would probably tell you the complete eradication of pine beetles from the planet.

If I were to ask you how you felt about pine beetles, most of you would shrug and say that you didn't even know what they were. You see, pine beetles don't matter to you, because they have never impacted your life negatively or hurt anyone that you know.

The apostle Paul found something that mattered.
In order to find a way to be courageous in this world, we must discover something that matters to us. Then, we have to build our days, our careers, our legacies around that thing that we can passionately talk about and try to change.

The apostle Paul started out as a Jewish zealot, arresting and killing every Christian he could find. He had found something that mattered to him, and he wasn't going to quit until he had eradicated all Christans, as timber men wish to eradicate pine beetles.

Paul felt really confident about what he was doing, but his efforts were outside of God's plans. So, Jesus met Paul along the road to Damascus and struck him blind.

Bewildered and terrified, Paul stumbled into town, trying to figure out where he had gone wrong. Soon after, God restored his sight, and you can bet that Paul had a new passion as a result of his life-altering experience. He became as zealous for everyone to become Christians as he had been bent on destroying them. (See Acts 26)

Got passion?
I meet a lot of people whom I ask what matters to them. They shrug, as most people might if I asked them to go on a crusade against the pine beetle. They have no passion for living, for changing the world, or for leaving behind a legacy. They seem like sleepwalkers to me, and I wonder how long it will take before they wake up.

If your child were kidnapped by a child molester, would you simply sit back and shrug your shoulders? No! You would develop passion in an instant to hunt down and bring to justice the person who took away your life's treasure.

Our pain creates passion.
If I had to present a seminar about eradicating pine beetles, it would be a boring 90-minute lecture. I don't have a fire in my belly about the subject, and I don't have any personal experience with pest control.

But ask me how childhood sexual abuse, domestic violence, or PTSD affects survivors, and I could talk for days on end without tiring. My personal pain created by abuse has created a passion that will never end.

I believe that our greatest passion stems from our greatest hurt. This is why my life's work has revolved around helping women and children who have been victims of abuse. I don't want anyone else to suffer as long as I did in silence, shame, and confusion.

I want to leave a legacy that will be remembered for centuries after I'm dead. I hope that survivors of abuse and trauma will associate my name with encouragement and love. We must find some way to turn our pain into something worthwhile, otherwise, we live out our lives as sleepwalkers, oblivious to the opportunities to help others and, in the process, to develop greater confidence in ourselves.

Today's Challenge
What matters to you? Are you passionate about spaying/neutering cats? Protecting the great horned owl? Helping underprivileged kids get into college? Comforting widows? Adopting orphans? Identify something that kindles a passion in you today and write down, My passion is to__________.

Imagine Your Future

My series, Confident in God's Garden, continues with some thoughts about looking ahead at the future. We've learned that, as survivors of abuse or trauma, we can be some of the most fearful people on the planet.

Through this series, we've taken some steps to change our outward appearance so that we feel a little more courageous...better equipped for the battles ahead. If we truly want to become bolder, though, we must change what's on the inside, too.

Imagine a fairy tale ending.
Fairy tales have always been popular, because they give readers hope. The author typically introduces a young girl, trapped in an unhappy childhood, and creates a marvelous future for her. When she achieves her dreams, the reader feels satisfied and uplifted.

Snow White danced around, singing Someday My Prince Will Come. She understood the importance of keeping her eyes on what could be, not what was. Hope gave her the courage to keep on moving through life, dreaming of a better future. Eventually, her dreams came true with the arrival of her prince.

We must imagine ourselves in the future, confident, happy, and satisfied. Getting there won't be easy, but if we think about where we want to end up, we can figure out what we need along the way.

What are God's dreams for our future?
God's got a definite plan for our future with him in heaven. Way back when he created the world, our final destinies were already in his plans. To get us to our end destination, he has orchestrated our arrival on earth at exactly the right time. He placed us in our families--even the most dysfunctional ones--where we would learn the skills that we would need for our future lives.

God knew that we would mess things up and get sidetracked along the way. He realized that we would need tremendous hope to keep on going in this challenging world. That's why he sent Jesus to die on a cross to keep sin from separating us from him. Because of God's great love for us, our futures are clearly defined.

God sent Jeremiah, a prophet, to give the Israelites an encouraging message. This same promise still holds true for us and for our future. I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. (Jeremiah 29:11b MSG)

Notice that the final phrase says that God has plans to give us the future that we hope for. So many Christians sit back and say that they're waiting on God to tell them what to do. I think they're wasting a lot of precious time, because they fail to engage their minds to discover their purpose for being here.

God has put desires into our hearts for a reason. Those desires are simply his blueprint for our lives. Anything good that we can imagine, God put there in the first place. Our dreams take us where God wants us to go when we step out with courage and put them into action.

Today's Challenge
Imagine your future self as confident, happy, and satisfied. Write down today what you are doing in your dream. Snow White's specific vision was for a prince to come into her life. What's yours? If you're drawing a blank, pray for God's dreams for your future to become clear to you.

Who is More Powerful than God?

We continue today with our series, Confident in God's Hands. This week, we are considering how fear robs us of confidence.

Is God the most powerful force in the universe?
In recent weeks, tornadoes have ripped through our country, leaving downed trees and power lines, and devastating homes and businesses in their wakes. Whenever we see natural disasters, such as tornadoes, tsunamis, and earthquakes, we are awed by the power of Mother Nature. But who do we beleive is behind all of her power?

I believe that God controls everything, even the wind and the waves. When Jesus walked on water, he did so in the middle of a squall on the Sea of Gallilee. It amazed the disciples that he could walk on water, but what really awed them was Jesus' ability to make the storm stop with three simple words, Quiet! Be still. (Mark 4:39 NIV)

We must believe that God, not Mother Nature, is behind such powerful energy. Doing so helps us to become more confident. How? The apostle Paul wrote, If God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31 NIV) If God can control a squall with a few simple words, he can surely speak on our behalf to help us out of difficult situations.

Can anything outpower God?
The Bible tells us that there is no person or power greater than God. Paul wrote in Romans 8:37-39 (NIV), No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

If God can outsmart and overpower death, demons, the future, and every other existing power, why should we ever be afraid? As long as we belong to God, we have nothing to fear!

Why do we have such poor self-confidence?
Imagine how much we could all accomplish if we had no fears. I would ride a horse again over four-foot high brick walls without fearing that I might fall off and reinjure my head. I'd swim in the ocean without worrying about sharks, sting rays and jelly fish hurting me. What would you do?

Without fear, I would be free to live the way God wants me to. The problem for all of us is that Satan whispers in our ears every day that we'd better not trust God to protect us. He uses our fears to keep us from relying on God when we feel weak. And as our fears mount, our confidence shrinks.

Can we overcome our greatest fears?
Most of us don't even realize how much we are controlled by our fears. If we are aware of them, we've learned ways of coping so that we constantly dance around them.

Our fears are like venemous snakes crawling freely about our homes. Instead of calling in a snake handler to get rid of them, we barricade ourselves in the rooms that are snake-free, or we tiptoe around the slithering creatures.

Living with fear, like living with snakes, robs us of the ability to relax. Who can laugh or dance or sing with snakes underfoot? And yet we pretend that we can fully live with fears controlling our every move.

For the next six weeks, we will learn how to fully acknowledge our fears, look into the causes of them, and eventually learn to replace our anxious responses to life with better coping skills. I hope that you will journey with me as we learn to become conquerers over fear, confident in God's hands.

Today's Challenge
Memorize Romans 8:31: If God is for us, who can be against us? The next time you become fearful, anxious, or worried about a situation, repeat this passage to yourself.