Give Yourself Credit for Past Successes

Welcome back to my series, Confident in God's Hands. We are learning how to build our self-esteem through practical changes which all of us can implement. Today, we are going to take a look at past successes.

Focus on the success, not the fear.
When I was a kindergarten teacher, I frequently encountered mothers who were very worried about their younger children, not the ones in my class. They would tell me that my current student had been potty trained early, and with little difficulty. But the sibling was months overdue...as far as the mother was concerned...in mastering the use of the potty.

I would always ask these mothers the same question: "Are you potty trained?"

They would inevitably laugh and say, "Of course!"

I would tell them, "You and I are both potty trained. Your kindergarten student is, too. The odds are good that this second child will eventually succeed...in his own time."

Like nervous mothers of pre-schoolers, we fear that we will never succeed at something which is important to us. We compare ourselves to others and become completely neurotic if we haven't done as well as our peers in the same period of time. This is ridiculous, and we must stop if we are going to ever achieve the success that God wants for us.

When does God want us to succeed?
Ecclesiastes 3:1 (MSG) tells us, There's an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth. God's timing always seems to be completely contrary to ours. We pin ourselves down to a schedule for succeeding and wind up making ourselves feel like failures when we don't reach our goals. This practice keeps us focused on failure, instead of success.

We must focus on our ability to succeed, not on our fears or our deadlines. Both can completely destroy our confidence. By looking back at our past successes and giving ourselves a little latitude with timing, we can think ourselves into future success.

Set goals, but remember past achievements, too.
It's great to set achievable goals and to put end dates on them, as long as we don't beat ourselves up if we're a little overdue. When we get hung up on what seems to be a failure, we must look back at what we've achieved.

After suffering a closed head injury a decade ago, I couldn't walk, talk, or type. Words came out of my mouth that made no sense, and my typing looked like Greek. I set goals for myself to quickly recover the abilities I had lost. God had something else in mind.

My recovery was anything but swift. It took me nine months to re-learn how to walk, talk, and type. I still struggle with residual issues, such as tremors and short-term memory loss. But today, when ongoing difficulties threaten to steal my confidence, I remind myself that I achieved some pretty big goals in the past. Focusing on those accomplishments gives me the courage to tackle whatever comes my way.

My mind is a powerful tool in this process, because I will get whatever I think I can do. If all I think of is failure, that's what I will continue to get. On the other hand, if I envision myself succeeding, I will most likely achieve my goals...when God thinks that the timing is right.

Celebrate both big and small successes.
Some successes may be big for us, such as learning to live at peace with a chronic illness, defeating the emotional pain caused by abuse, or bravely carrying the scars that remain after a traumatic event. Other successes may be little ones, such as dealing patiently with rude people, sitting peacefully in traffic jams, or recovering an important paper that was lost.

Whether our successes have been big or small, we must celebrate them all. If we're convinced that we'll never succeed at anything, we have to remember the little things, such as the fact that we're all potty trained. From that point onward, it becomes easier to remember that we are all successful, but in different ways and in God's time.

Today's Challenge
With pen and paper, sit down and list your lifetime achievements. It's easy to remember the big milestones, such as graduating from school or landing a job. But don't forget the small stuff, such as getting a gold star on a handwriting paper in third grade or befriending a new kid at school. When we add to this list daily and review it frequently, we bolster our confidence and empower ourselves to take on new challenges.