We continue this week with thoughts about joy in my series, Thriving in God's Garden. Yesterday, we learned that we find joy when we develop a relationship with God. Today, we consider how our joy may decrease during hard times.
God's joy sustains us through hard times.
After we have left an abusive relationship and struck out on our own, we may still encounter hardships. Having the faith to follow God does not guarantee that our lives will become nothing but sunshine and roses.
Habakkuk 3:17-18 (NIV) reminds us that there will be hard times. But it also points out that God will still be our source of joy when those times come:
Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.
Our level of joy can rise and fall.
After I divorced my first husband, I felt relieved to be freed from so many years of abuse. But, I also struggled with difficulties that threatened to steal my joy. For the first time in years, I had a full-time job. I felt completely overwhelmed by a workload that should have been shared by three people.
My children were thrust into the world of the latch-key bunch, and they endured battles of their own. My son got knocked off his bicycle on his way to school by a hit-and-run driver and ended up with a broken wrist. All of the kids struggled with the inevitable adjustments that go along with divorce and relocation.
The life changes we were experiencing caused all of the children and me a great deal of pain, and at the time, we weren't exactly whistling Dixie over it. During hard times, our joy may decrease for a while. But if we have a solid relationship with God, we can learn how to restore our joy.
Gratitude helps us to restore our joy.
When I looked back later at incidents, such as my son's broken wrist, I began to understand that knowing God made things a little easier. I thanked him for resolving problems for us and providing for our needs. Whenever I thanked God, I felt a little happier. And suddenly, for the first time in my life, I began to connect gratitude with joy.
If we look up joy in the Bible, we can find countless verses where thankfulness and joy go hand in hand. Many of the Psalms are based on this combination. Psalm 21:1 (NIV) reads, O Lord, the king rejoices in your strength. How great is his joy in the victories you give! Giving God thanks for our daily victories fills us with joy, even when life is difficult.
So, we know that leaving behind abusive, neglectful relationships can increase our joy. And relying on God to restore our joy, both in good times and in bad, is the best source of renewal. Tomorrow, we will look at ways that we can express our joy to God.
Today's Challenge
Are you going through a hard time right now? God promises to restore your joy. Look in his Word for references to joy and thank him, as the psalmist did, for your daily victories.
Showing posts with label gratitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gratitude. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Are You a Winner or a Whiner?
The last time I checked the calendar, daffodils were blooming, and I was preparing for our daughter's June wedding. Suddenly, it's October, and the leaves are turning crimson. What happened???
Have you ever been through seasons like this? There are times in my life that I absolutely cannot remember. When we find ourselves in challenging relationships, memories can be particularly difficult to retrieve, because extreme stress can blind us to the normal course of events that surround us.
Recently, I've discovered that there are three steps all of us can take to maintain good memories when we wind up in stressful situations.
First, we must come to understand how we got into this trouble to begin with. If we did something stupid or used poor judgment, now is the time to admit it and ask God to help us work things out. If it looks as if something random has blindsided us, we need to ask God to help us understand what we are to do as we wait it out.
For example, I knew when I was walking down the aisle to marry my first husband that I was making a terrible mistake. He had been exhibiting signs of abusive tendencies for a long time, and I ignored them. The ensuing years of trouble were partly my own fault, because I didn't listen to the Holy Spirit's urging me to run from a man who would later hurt me.
On the other hand, sitting at a traffic light after leaving church this summer and getting rear-ended by a drunk was not my fault. My injuries were just one of those unfortunate things in life that happens as a result of someone else's sin.
Second, we need to ask ourselves whether or not it is in our best interest to continue in a troubling lifestyle. Getting out from under an oppressive employer can be difficult, and leaving an abusive marriage may seem downright impossible. Likewise, sitting through a class that is run by a dictator may feel interminable, but we must decide whether staying or leaving will be best for us in the long run. This is a difficult process that can take a long time to figure out.
Jumping from the frying pan into the fire isn't a smart move, either. I tried running away from home when I was five, but I didn't get very far before I realized that I needed to use a bathroom. No one would allow me to use their facilities along my escape trail, and I was forced to return home. We must weigh all of our options before leaving a difficult situation. God may want us to grow through it. A qualified counselor or an accountability partner can help us to clarify our choices.
Third, if we can't extricate ourselves from a bad situation, we must focus on what is good in it. I was constantly stressed as a child by alcoholism and abuse. Eventually, I discovered a place of safety in our church's nursery. Loving care givers provided me with a haven where I could play without being hurt. I developed a love for kaleidoscopes and Jesus as a result of going there. I couldn't run away from my unhappy family, but I found ways to see the goodness of God while I was under my parents' authority.
I Thessalonians 5:16-18 reads, "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." This verse has often reminded me to look for the good in all situations. It has also kept me mindful of the need for constant prayer.
Winners look for the positives. If we see ourselves as overcomers who are empowered by God to manage our lives to the best of our abilities, we can often steer ourselves out of bad situations.
Whiners dwell on the negatives. They typically see themselves as victims and spend an inordinate amount of energy trying to discredit the people who take advantage of them. They frequently remain stuck in bad relationships because they use up all of their energy complaining and pointing fingers.
I haven't always been a winner. In fact, I've probably spent a good deal of my life whining. It isn't always easy to be joyful, particularly when our lives feel overwhelming. But if we are faithful to the disciplines of prayer and gratitude, we can feel better, no matter what circumstances may occur. Even if we remain trapped for a while in an unsavory setting, at least we have the joy of knowing that God is there with us.
And when we do break free from the pain and suffering, our joy bubbles over! By developing an attitude of thankfulness and good cheer during the bad times, we find it much easier to remain joyful when our lives improve.
Lately, God has given me a respite from months of pain. Guess what? The sky seems bluer, the autumn leaves flutter in the breeze more beautifully, and the sun sparkles on the lake like it never has before. I can see clearly that God has stayed close through the long, dark nights of pain. And now that it is behind me, he is shining brightly in every corner of my world. Today is etched deeply into my memory, because I have taken time to savor the good things in life, instead of dwelling on the bad.
How about you? Are you a winner or a whiner? Choose today to assess your troubles, make a decision to stay or to remove yourself from a bad situation when the time is right, and then thank God for walking through the fire with you.
Have you ever been through seasons like this? There are times in my life that I absolutely cannot remember. When we find ourselves in challenging relationships, memories can be particularly difficult to retrieve, because extreme stress can blind us to the normal course of events that surround us.
Recently, I've discovered that there are three steps all of us can take to maintain good memories when we wind up in stressful situations.
First, we must come to understand how we got into this trouble to begin with. If we did something stupid or used poor judgment, now is the time to admit it and ask God to help us work things out. If it looks as if something random has blindsided us, we need to ask God to help us understand what we are to do as we wait it out.
For example, I knew when I was walking down the aisle to marry my first husband that I was making a terrible mistake. He had been exhibiting signs of abusive tendencies for a long time, and I ignored them. The ensuing years of trouble were partly my own fault, because I didn't listen to the Holy Spirit's urging me to run from a man who would later hurt me.
On the other hand, sitting at a traffic light after leaving church this summer and getting rear-ended by a drunk was not my fault. My injuries were just one of those unfortunate things in life that happens as a result of someone else's sin.
Second, we need to ask ourselves whether or not it is in our best interest to continue in a troubling lifestyle. Getting out from under an oppressive employer can be difficult, and leaving an abusive marriage may seem downright impossible. Likewise, sitting through a class that is run by a dictator may feel interminable, but we must decide whether staying or leaving will be best for us in the long run. This is a difficult process that can take a long time to figure out.
Jumping from the frying pan into the fire isn't a smart move, either. I tried running away from home when I was five, but I didn't get very far before I realized that I needed to use a bathroom. No one would allow me to use their facilities along my escape trail, and I was forced to return home. We must weigh all of our options before leaving a difficult situation. God may want us to grow through it. A qualified counselor or an accountability partner can help us to clarify our choices.
Third, if we can't extricate ourselves from a bad situation, we must focus on what is good in it. I was constantly stressed as a child by alcoholism and abuse. Eventually, I discovered a place of safety in our church's nursery. Loving care givers provided me with a haven where I could play without being hurt. I developed a love for kaleidoscopes and Jesus as a result of going there. I couldn't run away from my unhappy family, but I found ways to see the goodness of God while I was under my parents' authority.
I Thessalonians 5:16-18 reads, "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." This verse has often reminded me to look for the good in all situations. It has also kept me mindful of the need for constant prayer.
Winners look for the positives. If we see ourselves as overcomers who are empowered by God to manage our lives to the best of our abilities, we can often steer ourselves out of bad situations.
Whiners dwell on the negatives. They typically see themselves as victims and spend an inordinate amount of energy trying to discredit the people who take advantage of them. They frequently remain stuck in bad relationships because they use up all of their energy complaining and pointing fingers.
I haven't always been a winner. In fact, I've probably spent a good deal of my life whining. It isn't always easy to be joyful, particularly when our lives feel overwhelming. But if we are faithful to the disciplines of prayer and gratitude, we can feel better, no matter what circumstances may occur. Even if we remain trapped for a while in an unsavory setting, at least we have the joy of knowing that God is there with us.
And when we do break free from the pain and suffering, our joy bubbles over! By developing an attitude of thankfulness and good cheer during the bad times, we find it much easier to remain joyful when our lives improve.
Lately, God has given me a respite from months of pain. Guess what? The sky seems bluer, the autumn leaves flutter in the breeze more beautifully, and the sun sparkles on the lake like it never has before. I can see clearly that God has stayed close through the long, dark nights of pain. And now that it is behind me, he is shining brightly in every corner of my world. Today is etched deeply into my memory, because I have taken time to savor the good things in life, instead of dwelling on the bad.
How about you? Are you a winner or a whiner? Choose today to assess your troubles, make a decision to stay or to remove yourself from a bad situation when the time is right, and then thank God for walking through the fire with you.
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