Use Forgiveness to Overcome Depression

Yesterday, we learned that unforgiveness can lead to depression. When we harbor negative thoughts toward our perpetrators or ourselves, we create a 'leak' in our brain's serotonin supply--the feel-good chemical that helps us to feel happy. Today, we learn about what forgiveness is and what it is not.

Forgiveness is...
Many victims of abuse withhold forgiveness, because they fear that letting go of their anger will cause the abuse to return. If we want to get better, we must realize that trying to forgive allows us:

-to let go of our old hurts,
-to make the decision to move forward,
-to release the negative emotions directed at our perpetrator, and
-to take back our personal power.

Forgiveness is not...
When victims realize that fogiveness does not require the following, they begin to loosen their grip on their bitterness. Forgiveness is not:

-condoning what happened,
-inviting our perpetrator back into our life,
-being friendly with our perpetrator,
-forgetting what happened, or
-ignoring the hurt and hoping it goes away.

We can do the impossible with God's help.
I understand that telling a survivor of childhood sexual abuse to just let go of the hurt may seem simplistic. Making the decision to move forward may feel impossible or overwhelming. Reclaiming any level of personal power may seem laughable.

Remember Ephesians 4:13 (NIV) when you feel that you will be stuck with depression for the rest of your life: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. We may not have the power to change how we feel about our perpetrator. But God can use his power to work incredible changes within us.

Begin with prayer.
At this point, we must begin with prayer. Your prayer might go something like this:

God, help me to let go of my need to control this situation with my abuser. I feel angry and guilty all at the same time. I don't know how to forgive him, but I'm asking you to help me take the first step. I want to move forward with my life and reclaim the personal power that he took from me. I trust you to help me through this. Amen.

Looking ahead.
Beginning Monday, we will work through ten steps for arriving at complete forgiveness. For now, all you have to do is be willing to try this process of forgiving.

Today's Challenge
Review the nine roadblocks to forgiveness that we have identified over the past few weeks: anger, fear, lack of trust, low self-esteem, guilt, revenge, pride, hatred, and depression. If you're stuck behind one of them, ask a counselor or trusted friend to help you move forward.