Why Is It So Hard to Forgive?

Today, we begin our series on forgiveness with more questions than answers. For the next 40 days, I will be posting on this topic Monday through Friday, with time off over the weekends to recharge my batteries. So, let's get started...

Why does God allow injustices such as childhood sexual abuse?
When people shatter our emotions and destroy our spirits with sexual abuse, it is difficult to understand why God allows such injustice. King David wrote in Psalm 82:2 (NIV): How long will you defend the unjust and show partiality to the wicked?

Who does God think he is, asking us to forgive criminals?
Before we can forgive, we must take a closer look at God's character. Understanding our creator helps us to see more clearly into his decrees for us to forgive. As part of this series, we will be learning about who our God is. And in doing so, we will begin to understand that the people who have hurt us were created in God's image, just as we were.

When is the time right for forgiving?
When we withhold forgiveness, we feel guilty. As Christians, we know that we are called to forgive. Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV) tells us: For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Even though we know that we're supposed to forgive, we just can't do it right away. Why is that?

How can we expect both justice and forgiveness?
Our family has been turned upside-down by my father's sexual abuse of a number of us. In three weeks, he will be sentenced for one of those crimes. The judge wants the victims to help determine the punishment. This just makes us feel the guilt and shame of abuse all over again. How can we measure out a punishment, while extending forgiveness?

What are we supposed to do?
I have done a great deal of reading, attended countless hours of counseling, and asked a ton of questions. I still don't have all the answers to this prickly question of forgiving the people who have wounded us so deeply. I do, however, have some insights on the topic. Over the next 40 days, we'll be figuring out together what we must do to remove the roadblocks to forgiveness.

Give me your insights.
I need your help with this. Please send me your thoughts about why you believe it is so hard for survivors of abuse and trauma to forgive. Your comments can be made anonymously, and if you don't want them to be posted, I will keep them confidential. No comment ever gets published without my reading it and approving it first. So you don't need to be afraid that your personal information will be made public.

Forgiveness is a long journey, one with a destination that cannot be reached overnight. Thank you for traveling this road with me.