Have you ever known someone who gets angry over the slightest trifle? Everything makes them blow their cork, and they chalk this off as part of their personality. I'm Irish, and I think anger is considered a family trait among people from the Emerald Isle. I think this is nothing more than a lame excuse for a life that is out of sorts.
Anger hurts our relationships and our health.
There's just one problem with having so much anger: it takes a toll on our relationships and our health. AAA recently reported that as many as 1200 incidents of road rage occur on America's highways every year. Angry people intentionally smash into others, intimidate them with firearms, or beat their cars with golf clubs.
Research studies have proven that angry people suffer from higher blood pressures, heart rates, norepinephrine, testosterone, and cortisol responses than people who know how to deal with their frustrations.
Everyone gets angry.
It's important to understand that it's okay to get angry. Everyone does from time to time. Anger is our heart's way of telling us that something needs attention. It's how we deal with our anger that determines whether or not we enjoy positive relationships and good health.
Romans 1:18 (NIV) tells us that God gets angry: But God shows his anger from heaven against all sinful, wicked people who suppress the truth by their wickedness.
The Bible also tells us that Jesus got angry. Mark 11:15-17 (NIV) recalls the story of Jesus’ reaction to the anger he felt when he discovered people using the temple as a marketplace:
When they arrived back in Jerusalem, Jesus entered the Temple and began to drive out the people buying and selling animals for sacrifices. He knocked over the tables of the money changers and the chairs of those selling doves, and he stopped everyone from using the Temple as a marketplace. He said to them, “The Scriptures declare, ‘My Temple will be called a house of prayer for all nations,’ but you have turned it into a den of thieves.”
God made us in his image; therefore it is natural for us to feel angry at times. Anger is our built-in warning signal that tells us when something is not consistent with God’s Word. If we respond to it properly, anger can help us to get things changed.
Anger often stems from unmet expectations.
There are countless reasons why we might be angry. Someone shames us, embarrasses us, betrays us, forgets about us, criticizes us, tells our secrets, ignores us, starts rumors about us, makes unkind remarks to us, falsely accuses us, under-appreciates us, shows favoritism to someone else, or breaks promises they have made to us. While it is true that many events may spark our anger, I believe that there is a primary underlying cause for most anger: unmet expectations.
What has made you angry?
Take out your journal and write down as many events as you can think of that made you angry. Don't be surprised if you feel your pulse racing as you do this exercise. Remember, anger alters our body's ability to maintain balance.
We are often angry, because we have expected other people to provide us or someone we love with love, safety, warmth, comfort, reassurance, respect, success, or strength. We must all come to understand that no one person can provide all of these things for us, except Jesus.
Can you see any unmet expectations?
Look back over your list now and circle which incidents created anger because someone failed to meet your needs. It's surprising, isn't it, to discover how many times our basic needs for security, reassurance, respect, comfort, and love have been overlooked?
At the moment, every single person in my family feels anger toward my mother. Why? She has failed to support the victims of incest. Instead of coming to our aid with compassion and understanding, she has done everything possible to cover up the truth with lies and to keep her husband out of jail.
We have all expected our mother to take care of our needs, not her own. When our needs go unmet, anger usually flares. Our anger is our heart's way of telling us that something needs to be addressed.
Was the hurt unintentional or intentional?
Take a look at the list of things that made you angry. There are some incidents that can be dealt with more easily than others. If someone hurts us unintentionally, it's easier to understand how it must feel to walk in their shoes.
For example, we may be angry at our boss for giving us a pink slip on Friday afternoon. But if we discover that our supervisor was threatened with the loss of his own job if he didn't cut the department budget; we see things from a different light. Perhaps we may find a way to quickly forgive him, because we see that his needs were not getting met, either.
On the other hand, some incidents are difficult to forgive, because someone has intentionally picked us out of the crowd and victimized us. There doesn't appear to be a clear reason for the crimes committed against us, so we harbor anger toward our perpetrator. If we're not careful, this anger may spill over onto everyone we meet. And it may hurt our health more than it hurts the person with whom we're angry. That's why it's so important to listen to our anger and deal with it.
Traumatic events rewire our brains to always respond with anger or fear.
When we are abused or traumatized, our minds usually become rewired. From the point of trauma onward, we begin to view others with suspicion, expecting them to hurt us, too. We put up walls around ourselves that are made out of bricks of anger stuck together with the mortar of fear.
Tomorrow, we will learn how to re-program our minds so that we can move forward along the road to forgiving the people who have hurt us the most.
Today's Challenge
Make your list of events that made you angry, noting how your needs went unmet and whether or not the offense seems to be unintentional or intentional. Write out a prayer, asking God to help you to use your anger to move forward on your journey of forgiveness.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Remove the Roadblocks to Forgiveness
Yesterday, I posed some questions about why it is so hard for us to forgive. Hopefully, that got you thinking. As we journey together, try to keep a journal handy so that you can jot down ideas as they come to you.
My View of Forgiveness
I like to think of forgiveness as a winding road over rough terrain. Along the way, we encounter obstacles that may deter us, force us to turn back, or make us more determined than ever to move forward. Today, I would like to give you an overview of where we're going for the next eight weeks. Hopefully, this blog will serve as a road map for our journey.
The Roadblocks to Forgiveness
The way I see it, there are nine major roadblocks to forgiveness. As long as these stand in our way, we can't make much progress:
1) anger
2) fear
3) mistrust
4) poor self-image
5) guilt
6) revenge
7) pride
8) hatred
9) depression
We'll be spending two days on each of these topics along the way. Please send in your comments as we work through them so that I can address any questions that you may have.
Remove the Roadblocks to Forgiveness
In order to remove the roadblocks that we encounter, I believe there is a step-by-step process that we can follow to successfully forgive others. This is not a quick fix, and there are no guaranteed results. But I've used it on myself, and I'll be sharing my experieces along the way. It involves ten steps, as follows:
1) Recognize righteousness.
2) Identify sin.
3) Admit that you've got problems, too.
4) Change your ways.
5) Ask God to forgive you.
6) Accept God's grace.
7) Ask others to forgive you.
8) Offer restitution to the people you have hurt.
9) Now, forgive the person who has hurt you.
10) Teach others to forgive.
I believe that one of the primary reasons we fail to forgive is because we have put ourselves in God's place as judge. We'll be talking more about this, but for now, think about what Jesus had to say about judging others:
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, "Let me take the speck out of your eye' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. (Matt 7:3-5)
As you can see, this process involves a lot of self-discovery about our own brokenness. Only by finding healing for ourselves through God's grace, can we learn how to forgive the people who have hurt us. We'll spend two days on each of these ten steps, finishing our series on forgiveness on Friday, March 25.
Today's Challenge
Get a journal, composition book, or spiral notebook for this series. On the first page, write out a prayer, asking God to reveal what you need to learn over the course of our study on forgiveness.
My View of Forgiveness
I like to think of forgiveness as a winding road over rough terrain. Along the way, we encounter obstacles that may deter us, force us to turn back, or make us more determined than ever to move forward. Today, I would like to give you an overview of where we're going for the next eight weeks. Hopefully, this blog will serve as a road map for our journey.
The Roadblocks to Forgiveness
The way I see it, there are nine major roadblocks to forgiveness. As long as these stand in our way, we can't make much progress:
1) anger
2) fear
3) mistrust
4) poor self-image
5) guilt
6) revenge
7) pride
8) hatred
9) depression
We'll be spending two days on each of these topics along the way. Please send in your comments as we work through them so that I can address any questions that you may have.
Remove the Roadblocks to Forgiveness
In order to remove the roadblocks that we encounter, I believe there is a step-by-step process that we can follow to successfully forgive others. This is not a quick fix, and there are no guaranteed results. But I've used it on myself, and I'll be sharing my experieces along the way. It involves ten steps, as follows:
1) Recognize righteousness.
2) Identify sin.
3) Admit that you've got problems, too.
4) Change your ways.
5) Ask God to forgive you.
6) Accept God's grace.
7) Ask others to forgive you.
8) Offer restitution to the people you have hurt.
9) Now, forgive the person who has hurt you.
10) Teach others to forgive.
I believe that one of the primary reasons we fail to forgive is because we have put ourselves in God's place as judge. We'll be talking more about this, but for now, think about what Jesus had to say about judging others:
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, "Let me take the speck out of your eye' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. (Matt 7:3-5)
As you can see, this process involves a lot of self-discovery about our own brokenness. Only by finding healing for ourselves through God's grace, can we learn how to forgive the people who have hurt us. We'll spend two days on each of these ten steps, finishing our series on forgiveness on Friday, March 25.
Today's Challenge
Get a journal, composition book, or spiral notebook for this series. On the first page, write out a prayer, asking God to reveal what you need to learn over the course of our study on forgiveness.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Why Is It So Hard to Forgive?
Today, we begin our series on forgiveness with more questions than answers. For the next 40 days, I will be posting on this topic Monday through Friday, with time off over the weekends to recharge my batteries. So, let's get started...
Why does God allow injustices such as childhood sexual abuse?
When people shatter our emotions and destroy our spirits with sexual abuse, it is difficult to understand why God allows such injustice. King David wrote in Psalm 82:2 (NIV): How long will you defend the unjust and show partiality to the wicked?
Who does God think he is, asking us to forgive criminals?
Before we can forgive, we must take a closer look at God's character. Understanding our creator helps us to see more clearly into his decrees for us to forgive. As part of this series, we will be learning about who our God is. And in doing so, we will begin to understand that the people who have hurt us were created in God's image, just as we were.
When is the time right for forgiving?
When we withhold forgiveness, we feel guilty. As Christians, we know that we are called to forgive. Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV) tells us: For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Even though we know that we're supposed to forgive, we just can't do it right away. Why is that?
How can we expect both justice and forgiveness?
Our family has been turned upside-down by my father's sexual abuse of a number of us. In three weeks, he will be sentenced for one of those crimes. The judge wants the victims to help determine the punishment. This just makes us feel the guilt and shame of abuse all over again. How can we measure out a punishment, while extending forgiveness?
What are we supposed to do?
I have done a great deal of reading, attended countless hours of counseling, and asked a ton of questions. I still don't have all the answers to this prickly question of forgiving the people who have wounded us so deeply. I do, however, have some insights on the topic. Over the next 40 days, we'll be figuring out together what we must do to remove the roadblocks to forgiveness.
Give me your insights.
I need your help with this. Please send me your thoughts about why you believe it is so hard for survivors of abuse and trauma to forgive. Your comments can be made anonymously, and if you don't want them to be posted, I will keep them confidential. No comment ever gets published without my reading it and approving it first. So you don't need to be afraid that your personal information will be made public.
Forgiveness is a long journey, one with a destination that cannot be reached overnight. Thank you for traveling this road with me.
Why does God allow injustices such as childhood sexual abuse?
When people shatter our emotions and destroy our spirits with sexual abuse, it is difficult to understand why God allows such injustice. King David wrote in Psalm 82:2 (NIV): How long will you defend the unjust and show partiality to the wicked?
Who does God think he is, asking us to forgive criminals?
Before we can forgive, we must take a closer look at God's character. Understanding our creator helps us to see more clearly into his decrees for us to forgive. As part of this series, we will be learning about who our God is. And in doing so, we will begin to understand that the people who have hurt us were created in God's image, just as we were.
When is the time right for forgiving?
When we withhold forgiveness, we feel guilty. As Christians, we know that we are called to forgive. Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV) tells us: For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Even though we know that we're supposed to forgive, we just can't do it right away. Why is that?
How can we expect both justice and forgiveness?
Our family has been turned upside-down by my father's sexual abuse of a number of us. In three weeks, he will be sentenced for one of those crimes. The judge wants the victims to help determine the punishment. This just makes us feel the guilt and shame of abuse all over again. How can we measure out a punishment, while extending forgiveness?
What are we supposed to do?
I have done a great deal of reading, attended countless hours of counseling, and asked a ton of questions. I still don't have all the answers to this prickly question of forgiving the people who have wounded us so deeply. I do, however, have some insights on the topic. Over the next 40 days, we'll be figuring out together what we must do to remove the roadblocks to forgiveness.
Give me your insights.
I need your help with this. Please send me your thoughts about why you believe it is so hard for survivors of abuse and trauma to forgive. Your comments can be made anonymously, and if you don't want them to be posted, I will keep them confidential. No comment ever gets published without my reading it and approving it first. So you don't need to be afraid that your personal information will be made public.
Forgiveness is a long journey, one with a destination that cannot be reached overnight. Thank you for traveling this road with me.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Empower Yourself by Empowering Others
Jack Canfield's Success Principle #64
Today is my final blog in this series based on Jack Canfield's Success Priniples. On January 31, I will begin a new series about forgiveness. I hope that you have found Jack's thoughts helpful, and I hope that you will stay with me as we continue on this journey together.
The greatest contribution we can make to the world is to fulfill the purpose God has given us. Helping others to do the same provides them with joy as they fulfill their God-given dreams. Jack Canfield has helped me to clarify my purpose and to take the action steps necessary to begin my journey. I will always be grateful for his wisdom.
Proverbs 3:13-18 (NIV) reminds me that gaining wisdom throughout our lives is important:
Blessed is the man who finds wisdom,
the man who gains understanding,
for she [wisdom] is more profitable than silver
and yields better returns than gold.
She is more precious than rubies;
nothing you desire can compare with her.
Long life is in her right hand;
in her left hand are riches and honor.
Her ways are pleasant ways,
and all her paths are peace.
She is a tree of life to those who embrace her;
those who lay hold of her wil be blessed.
One of the most powerful ways to gain wisdom is to teach it to others. If you would like to teach Jack Canfield's Success Principles to others, you can go to www.thesuccessprinciples.com to download a free study guide. By teaching others, you'll be helping yourself to stay the course along the way to fulfilling your own life purpose.
The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know. Come along with me next week in our discovery of God's wisdom about forgiveness.
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
Today is my final blog in this series based on Jack Canfield's Success Priniples. On January 31, I will begin a new series about forgiveness. I hope that you have found Jack's thoughts helpful, and I hope that you will stay with me as we continue on this journey together.
The greatest contribution we can make to the world is to fulfill the purpose God has given us. Helping others to do the same provides them with joy as they fulfill their God-given dreams. Jack Canfield has helped me to clarify my purpose and to take the action steps necessary to begin my journey. I will always be grateful for his wisdom.
Proverbs 3:13-18 (NIV) reminds me that gaining wisdom throughout our lives is important:
Blessed is the man who finds wisdom,
the man who gains understanding,
for she [wisdom] is more profitable than silver
and yields better returns than gold.
She is more precious than rubies;
nothing you desire can compare with her.
Long life is in her right hand;
in her left hand are riches and honor.
Her ways are pleasant ways,
and all her paths are peace.
She is a tree of life to those who embrace her;
those who lay hold of her wil be blessed.
One of the most powerful ways to gain wisdom is to teach it to others. If you would like to teach Jack Canfield's Success Principles to others, you can go to www.thesuccessprinciples.com to download a free study guide. By teaching others, you'll be helping yourself to stay the course along the way to fulfilling your own life purpose.
The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know. Come along with me next week in our discovery of God's wisdom about forgiveness.
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Start Now and Just Do It!
Jack Canfield's Success Principle #63
We have only two days left in our lessons from Jack Canfield's book, The Success Principles. Beginning January 31, we will begin a new series on forgiveness.
Don't let your fears hold you back.
So many survivors of abuse and trauma let their fears hold them back, and they never even try to achieve their dreams. Oliver Wendell Holmes, former U.S. Supreme Court justice, wrote:
Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so? Too often, it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out.
If we allow the fear that our abusers instilled in us or memories of traumatic events to hold us back, we may die without ever getting the chance to bless the world with our God-given gifts.
At this point, I have four books that are nearly complete. For a number of years, I have been editing them so that they will be ready for publication. The truth is, I've been over-working them, because I'm afraid to send them out there. I hate the rejection letters, and it's safer to just keep working on them than to admit that I'm afraid.
The problem with this habit is that I'm preventing my readers from receiving the blessings that God wants them to have through my writing. I've learned so much about thriving after life kicks us in the teeth; and by sitting on my work, I'm preventing someone else from achieving their dreams.
Satan uses fear to keep us from sharing the love of Christ with others. What fears are holding you back?
Take the first step.
An ancient Chinese proverb says,
A journey of 1,000 miles must begin with one step.
I didn't learn how to write overnight. It began with taking the first step of choosing a creative writing class in high school. To date, I have published hundreds of articles and several books. My success began with that first step.
Anyone can succeed at life, but they must take the first step. What are you waiting for?
Fail forward.
Sometimes, we need to take a class or attend a workshop to learn some new skills. But in reality, all of life is a classroom, where we are constantly learning how to do things better. Some of the most important things we need to know can't be learned in a classroom or perfected at seminars. We have to get out there and just try. When we fail, we can ask for feedback, go back, and try again.
Believe it or not, our abuse or trauma has probably taught us more than we have ever learned in school. We know how to comfort someone who is suffering, because we have experienced that same comfort through God's love when we were hurting. My favorite Bible verse comes from 2 Corinthians 1:3-5:
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.
Are you waiting to learn something new before you can achieve your dreams? Is it possible that you already have the skills to become successful? Are you willing to fail, get feedback, and try again?
Keep trying.
The apostle Paul wrote about the need for perseverance in our faith walk, and I believe this passage is an excellent one for those of us who are afraid to fail at life. He wrote,
Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with peseverance the race marked out for us. (Hebrews 12:1b)
God has marked out a race for each one of us by giving us a purpose. It's up to us to start running along that path. On the way, we'll bless others, and when we arrive at the end of our lives, we will reach a lovely new beginning.
What is keeping you from achieving God's plan for your life? If you know what it is, why aren't you running the race?
Unforeseen opportunities grow out of your forward motion.
Buckminster Fuller, a scientist and philosopher, wrote about something he calls precessional effects. They are the outcomes of our forward motion as we strive to serve humanity.
To better understand this concept, he explains that a honeybee's primary purpose in life is to gather nectar. As he flies from flower to flower, he is unwittingly involved in a much bigger plan: he is cross-pollinating all of the rooted botanicals that he touches.
As we move forward toward our goals, we create these same types of precessional effects. I never dreamed when I began writing that I would eventually become the editor of a pharmaceutical journal or the ghost-writer of an evangelst's biography. These effects simply occurred, because I saw myself as a writer and kept moving ahead.
Are you creating precessional effects? Or are you sitting still, paralyzed by fears that are preventing you from blessing others?
Today's Challenge
Many people have no clue about how to achieve their dreams. We have learned from one of the best success coaches in the world how to get from where we are today to where we want to be tomorrow. The key to overcoming our abusive or traumatic past is to put what we have learned about our life's purpose into action.
Start today by going back through my blog posts and working through each principle one at a time, in the order that they were presented. Of all the principles we've learned, I believe one of the most important is to create a goals book. It's exciting to review our goals and action plans daily and to see that we are actually making progress toward our dreams.
You can succeed, but you've got to get started. And you must keep on until you've reached your goals. Imagine the joy you will feel when you arrive at the end of your life, and Jesus says, "Well done, good and faithful servant." Now get out there and just do it!
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
We have only two days left in our lessons from Jack Canfield's book, The Success Principles. Beginning January 31, we will begin a new series on forgiveness.
Don't let your fears hold you back.
So many survivors of abuse and trauma let their fears hold them back, and they never even try to achieve their dreams. Oliver Wendell Holmes, former U.S. Supreme Court justice, wrote:
Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so? Too often, it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out.
If we allow the fear that our abusers instilled in us or memories of traumatic events to hold us back, we may die without ever getting the chance to bless the world with our God-given gifts.
At this point, I have four books that are nearly complete. For a number of years, I have been editing them so that they will be ready for publication. The truth is, I've been over-working them, because I'm afraid to send them out there. I hate the rejection letters, and it's safer to just keep working on them than to admit that I'm afraid.
The problem with this habit is that I'm preventing my readers from receiving the blessings that God wants them to have through my writing. I've learned so much about thriving after life kicks us in the teeth; and by sitting on my work, I'm preventing someone else from achieving their dreams.
Satan uses fear to keep us from sharing the love of Christ with others. What fears are holding you back?
Take the first step.
An ancient Chinese proverb says,
A journey of 1,000 miles must begin with one step.
I didn't learn how to write overnight. It began with taking the first step of choosing a creative writing class in high school. To date, I have published hundreds of articles and several books. My success began with that first step.
Anyone can succeed at life, but they must take the first step. What are you waiting for?
Fail forward.
Sometimes, we need to take a class or attend a workshop to learn some new skills. But in reality, all of life is a classroom, where we are constantly learning how to do things better. Some of the most important things we need to know can't be learned in a classroom or perfected at seminars. We have to get out there and just try. When we fail, we can ask for feedback, go back, and try again.
Believe it or not, our abuse or trauma has probably taught us more than we have ever learned in school. We know how to comfort someone who is suffering, because we have experienced that same comfort through God's love when we were hurting. My favorite Bible verse comes from 2 Corinthians 1:3-5:
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.
Are you waiting to learn something new before you can achieve your dreams? Is it possible that you already have the skills to become successful? Are you willing to fail, get feedback, and try again?
Keep trying.
The apostle Paul wrote about the need for perseverance in our faith walk, and I believe this passage is an excellent one for those of us who are afraid to fail at life. He wrote,
Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with peseverance the race marked out for us. (Hebrews 12:1b)
God has marked out a race for each one of us by giving us a purpose. It's up to us to start running along that path. On the way, we'll bless others, and when we arrive at the end of our lives, we will reach a lovely new beginning.
What is keeping you from achieving God's plan for your life? If you know what it is, why aren't you running the race?
Unforeseen opportunities grow out of your forward motion.
Buckminster Fuller, a scientist and philosopher, wrote about something he calls precessional effects. They are the outcomes of our forward motion as we strive to serve humanity.
To better understand this concept, he explains that a honeybee's primary purpose in life is to gather nectar. As he flies from flower to flower, he is unwittingly involved in a much bigger plan: he is cross-pollinating all of the rooted botanicals that he touches.
As we move forward toward our goals, we create these same types of precessional effects. I never dreamed when I began writing that I would eventually become the editor of a pharmaceutical journal or the ghost-writer of an evangelst's biography. These effects simply occurred, because I saw myself as a writer and kept moving ahead.
Are you creating precessional effects? Or are you sitting still, paralyzed by fears that are preventing you from blessing others?
Today's Challenge
Many people have no clue about how to achieve their dreams. We have learned from one of the best success coaches in the world how to get from where we are today to where we want to be tomorrow. The key to overcoming our abusive or traumatic past is to put what we have learned about our life's purpose into action.
Start today by going back through my blog posts and working through each principle one at a time, in the order that they were presented. Of all the principles we've learned, I believe one of the most important is to create a goals book. It's exciting to review our goals and action plans daily and to see that we are actually making progress toward our dreams.
You can succeed, but you've got to get started. And you must keep on until you've reached your goals. Imagine the joy you will feel when you arrive at the end of your life, and Jesus says, "Well done, good and faithful servant." Now get out there and just do it!
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Find a Way to Serve
Jack Canfield's Success Principle #62
When we volunteer, we receive far more than we give. We find inner joy by serving others, as well as some other benefits that Jack identifies.
Volunteerism pays off.
Research on volunteerism shows that people who give their time to others live longer, have stronger immune systems, suffer fewer heart attacks, recover more quickly from heart attacks, have higher self-esteem, and enjoy a deeper sense of purpose than people who don't volunteer.
People who volunteer when they're young are more likely to end up in higher-paying jobs than their counterparts. Employers report that they often look to see if job candidates have engaged in volunteer work before hiring them. In addition, networking during volunteer time frequently leads to unexpected career opportunities.
By volunteering, we can learn success skills that we wouldn't ordinarily acquire. Some employers, such as SAFECO and Pillsbury, actually build volunteerism into their employee development programs.
For many years, I volunteered at our public and school libraries. Without realizing it, I was preparing myself for a great deal of the research that I now do as a writer.
Volunteer to match your purpose.
When we volunteer, it's important to serve people we feel passionate about. I have very little in common with basketball players, so volunteering to help with a youth basketball team wouldn't do much for me or the kids.
I love to sew, therefore I volunteer my time to lead a quilting group at my church. We give the finished quilts to terminally ill patients at the hospital. Our group uses Scripture from 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 (NIV) to encourage patients and their families:
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.l For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.
For those of us who have survived incest, abuse, or trauma, there are countless opportunities to help others who have been victims. Sometimes, it's hard to understand why God allowed us to suffer as we did. But by serving other survivors, we can bring some sense to our own pain. We can look at our experiences as preparation for helping others to thrive. By learning to share the comfort that we have already received from God, we bring meaning to our own suffering.
How much time should we volunteer?
We were members of Southeast Christian Church while Joe was attending seminary. Their slogan for personal growth was 1-1-1: one hour of worship, one hour of Bible study, and one hour of service per week. This was suggested as a starting place for new members. Remember from yesterday's lesson that we should ideally be giving ten percent of our time, as well as our money to others in need.
Today's Challenge
There are many nonprofit organizations that can use your skills. Make a list of people you would enjoy helping, places you would like to serve, and skills that you can offer. Figure out how to serve for just one hour this week, and build your volunteerism from there.
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
When we volunteer, we receive far more than we give. We find inner joy by serving others, as well as some other benefits that Jack identifies.
Volunteerism pays off.
Research on volunteerism shows that people who give their time to others live longer, have stronger immune systems, suffer fewer heart attacks, recover more quickly from heart attacks, have higher self-esteem, and enjoy a deeper sense of purpose than people who don't volunteer.
People who volunteer when they're young are more likely to end up in higher-paying jobs than their counterparts. Employers report that they often look to see if job candidates have engaged in volunteer work before hiring them. In addition, networking during volunteer time frequently leads to unexpected career opportunities.
By volunteering, we can learn success skills that we wouldn't ordinarily acquire. Some employers, such as SAFECO and Pillsbury, actually build volunteerism into their employee development programs.
For many years, I volunteered at our public and school libraries. Without realizing it, I was preparing myself for a great deal of the research that I now do as a writer.
Volunteer to match your purpose.
When we volunteer, it's important to serve people we feel passionate about. I have very little in common with basketball players, so volunteering to help with a youth basketball team wouldn't do much for me or the kids.
I love to sew, therefore I volunteer my time to lead a quilting group at my church. We give the finished quilts to terminally ill patients at the hospital. Our group uses Scripture from 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 (NIV) to encourage patients and their families:
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.l For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.
For those of us who have survived incest, abuse, or trauma, there are countless opportunities to help others who have been victims. Sometimes, it's hard to understand why God allowed us to suffer as we did. But by serving other survivors, we can bring some sense to our own pain. We can look at our experiences as preparation for helping others to thrive. By learning to share the comfort that we have already received from God, we bring meaning to our own suffering.
How much time should we volunteer?
We were members of Southeast Christian Church while Joe was attending seminary. Their slogan for personal growth was 1-1-1: one hour of worship, one hour of Bible study, and one hour of service per week. This was suggested as a starting place for new members. Remember from yesterday's lesson that we should ideally be giving ten percent of our time, as well as our money to others in need.
Today's Challenge
There are many nonprofit organizations that can use your skills. Make a list of people you would enjoy helping, places you would like to serve, and skills that you can offer. Figure out how to serve for just one hour this week, and build your volunteerism from there.
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Give More to Get More
Jack Canfield's Success Principle #61
Jack writes some things in today's lesson that really bother me. In the first paragraph, he says, "By tithing regularly, you, too, can put into motion God's universal force, bringing you continual abundance." My concern is that many readers may misunderstand that this means tithing will guarantee monetary success. Jack actually writes that tithing "is one of the best guarantees of prosperity ever known."
What is tithing?
The Bible clearly spells out what tithing is. Leviticus 27:30 (NIV) reads, A tithe (tenth) of everything from the land, whether grain from the soil or fruit from the trees, belongs to the Lord; it is holy to the Lord.
If it weren't for God, we would have nothing. When we fail to give back to him our tithe, we are, in essence, robbing God.
Malachi 3:10 (MSG) was written to the Israelites at a time when they were holding back their tithes. It reads:
Begin by being honest. Do honest people rob God? But you rob me day after day. "You ask, 'How have we robbed you?' "The tithe and the offering—that's how! And now you're under a curse —the whole lot of you—because you're robbing me. Bring your full tithe to the Temple treasury so there will be ample provisions in my Temple. Test me in this and see if I don't open up heaven itself to you and pour out blessings beyond your wildest dreams. For my part, I will defend you against marauders, protect your wheat fields and vegetable gardens against plunderers."
If we are in a relationship with God, our love for him ought to compel us to give more than ten percent to his work. The way I look at it, the tithe is just the beginning. If I could give fifty percent, I would.
Why can't I bring myself to tithe?
As an abuse survivor, I have sometimes experienced difficulty with tithing, because it meant that I was giving up control of the one part of my life that I thought I could manage. God's laughing his head off over that statement, I'm sure!
We may have trouble trusting God, because our earthly parents did not provide for us. We see our money as our own...a means to keep ourselves safe from harm. Letting go of just ten percent of our earnings may stir up feelings of fear.
It is true that God promises blessings to those who release their hold on their tithes. But those blessings may not necessarily come in the form of millions of dollars. They may come to us as friendships, respect, peace, and joy. If we are giving from the love God has placed in our hearts, the peace we get in return for giving is immeasurable.
Practice two types of tithing.
There are two types of tithing: giving of our money; and giving of our time. The closer we grow in relationship with God, the more we want to give back to him. Just writing a check to the church or a charity isn't enough. We want to volunteer as much of our free time as we can to serve others. That's because God's love can't be contained within us. The more we receive, the more we feel compelled to give.
Today's Challenge
Examine your budget and calendar. Consider how much of your money and time are going toward God's work. Are you giving him what he deserves? Or are you robbing him? If you can't bring yourself to tithe, consider your view of God and your relationship with him. Do you need to surrender control over this part of your life to him? Can you trust him to provide if you let go of ten percent?
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
Jack writes some things in today's lesson that really bother me. In the first paragraph, he says, "By tithing regularly, you, too, can put into motion God's universal force, bringing you continual abundance." My concern is that many readers may misunderstand that this means tithing will guarantee monetary success. Jack actually writes that tithing "is one of the best guarantees of prosperity ever known."
What is tithing?
The Bible clearly spells out what tithing is. Leviticus 27:30 (NIV) reads, A tithe (tenth) of everything from the land, whether grain from the soil or fruit from the trees, belongs to the Lord; it is holy to the Lord.
If it weren't for God, we would have nothing. When we fail to give back to him our tithe, we are, in essence, robbing God.
Malachi 3:10 (MSG) was written to the Israelites at a time when they were holding back their tithes. It reads:
Begin by being honest. Do honest people rob God? But you rob me day after day. "You ask, 'How have we robbed you?' "The tithe and the offering—that's how! And now you're under a curse —the whole lot of you—because you're robbing me. Bring your full tithe to the Temple treasury so there will be ample provisions in my Temple. Test me in this and see if I don't open up heaven itself to you and pour out blessings beyond your wildest dreams. For my part, I will defend you against marauders, protect your wheat fields and vegetable gardens against plunderers."
If we are in a relationship with God, our love for him ought to compel us to give more than ten percent to his work. The way I look at it, the tithe is just the beginning. If I could give fifty percent, I would.
Why can't I bring myself to tithe?
As an abuse survivor, I have sometimes experienced difficulty with tithing, because it meant that I was giving up control of the one part of my life that I thought I could manage. God's laughing his head off over that statement, I'm sure!
We may have trouble trusting God, because our earthly parents did not provide for us. We see our money as our own...a means to keep ourselves safe from harm. Letting go of just ten percent of our earnings may stir up feelings of fear.
It is true that God promises blessings to those who release their hold on their tithes. But those blessings may not necessarily come in the form of millions of dollars. They may come to us as friendships, respect, peace, and joy. If we are giving from the love God has placed in our hearts, the peace we get in return for giving is immeasurable.
Practice two types of tithing.
There are two types of tithing: giving of our money; and giving of our time. The closer we grow in relationship with God, the more we want to give back to him. Just writing a check to the church or a charity isn't enough. We want to volunteer as much of our free time as we can to serve others. That's because God's love can't be contained within us. The more we receive, the more we feel compelled to give.
Today's Challenge
Examine your budget and calendar. Consider how much of your money and time are going toward God's work. Are you giving him what he deserves? Or are you robbing him? If you can't bring yourself to tithe, consider your view of God and your relationship with him. Do you need to surrender control over this part of your life to him? Can you trust him to provide if you let go of ten percent?
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
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