Letting Go of Pride

We continue today with our discussion about pride, the seventh obstacle in our series, Removing the Roadblocks to Forgiveness.

Last time, we learned that pride prevents us from forgiving others, because we see ourselves as superior to those who have hurt us. When we fail to see our own sin in doing this, we hinder our spiritual growth. God can't help us to grow up if we can't admit that we are sinning, too.

So, how do we overcome this issue of pride? I see pride removal as a 7-step process, as follows.

1) Be honest with yourself.
I found the following list on a posting by Evangelical Village. Read the list and keep track of how many questions you answer with a yes.

-Are your feelings hurt easily?
-Does it irritate you when people don’t agree with you?
-Does it really bother you when someone corrects your mistakes?
-Is it hard for you to admit mistakes?
-Do you think you are usually right and others are usually wrong?
-Do you find it hard to compromise? Is it your way or no way?
-Are you often stressed?
-Do you find yourself giving more criticisms than compliments?
-Are you quick to judge other people on first appearance?
-Are you usually more concerned with your needs and wants than for others?
-If someone has hurt you in the past, do you hold onto bitterness?
-Do you seek praise for things such as beauty, talents, and abilities?
-Do you feel offended when not given credit for something you have done?
-Do you often compete or compare yourself with someone else?
-Are you always trying to do better or have more than someone else?
-Do you neglect seeking the help of God through Scripture and prayer?
-Are you avoiding the help of other Christians?
-Do you see yourself as having eliminated most of the sin in your life?

If you have more than 5 yes answers, you've probably got pride issues. Read on to discover how to eliminate this problem.

2) Admit your sin of pride to God.
When a person commits a crime, he goes to court, where a prosecuting attorney attempts to reveal his offenses to a judge. A defense attorney tries to convince the judge that the defendant is innocent. If the person is found guilty, he stands before the judge to hear his sentence. What a terrifying moment that must be!

At the end of our lives, Jesus will sit as the ultimate judge of everything we have done. There will be no prosecutor or defense attorney, because Christ sees all truth about us without anyone's assistance. Our sins and our good deeds will speak for themselves.

What amazes me is that when Jesus announces we are guilty, he will step down from his judge's seat to offer himself as a substitution for our punishment--provided we have repented, expressed our belief in Christ, and done our best to turn away from our sinful nature. What a relief it will be to know that we have escaped a horrific punishment!

The thought of facing God's judgment always causes me to think twice about pride. Wouldn't it be awful for my father to be invited into heaven after repenting, while I found myself destined for hell as a result of my unforgiving heart?

Here is a sobering thought: our perpetrators may very well wind up in Heaven, where they will love us perfectly, just as Jesus does. The true test of whether or not we have stopped feeling supeiror to our enemies is whether or not we feel resentment when thinking about experiencing eternal life with them. If we can't see ourselves sharing the joys of Heaven with our enemies, it's time to admit that pride is holding us back from forgiving.

3) Ask God to remove all feelings of pride.
If God can see through us, he knows about our prideful thoughts. He sees the way we treat our enemies with disdain. He understands our hurts and why we keep ourselves separate from others emotionally. Trying to hide these attitudes from him is a waste of energy.

God has used my father's upcoming court hearing to teach me that I needed to learn humility. In the past few weeks, I have come to understand that I am in need of a heart change as much as my father is. I used to think that child molestation was a far more heinous crime than anything I have ever done. But my crimes of hatred, bitterness, resentment, and pride are just as bad.

4) Tell an accountability partner about your prideful nature.
We need to find someone to help us put our pride into perspective. A well-experienced minister, Christian counselor, or a mature believer can listen to us talk about our air of superiority.

I discovered that confessing my sin of pride to God and to a minister brought me tremendous releif. It drained me of all my hard-driving ambition that has caused me terrible stress. Without pride, I no longer have to work so hard to control the outcomes of numerous situations.

Interestingly, when I let go of pride and the need to control outcomes, God came rushing in to surprise me with unexpected blessings. People began to come to me, looking for guidance in their spiritual lives. I got a generous government check in the mail that I wasn't expecting. My perspective shifted so completely, I began to see many people with greater compassion. My ability to extend grace grew by leaps and bounds.

5) Ask others to pray for you as you overcome pride.
Someimes, our own prayers just don't feel very effective, particlarly when we're struggling with something as thorny as pride. I've asked others to pray for me, and I know that they are. I feel tremendous peace at a time when I would ordinarily experience high levels of stress.

6) Pray for your enemy.
A good friend told me years ago that I should pray for my perpetrator. This felt so unnatural, but I have since learned that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Eph. 4:13) My friend suggested that I pray for my enemy to have what I do: peace, love, joy, and a relationship with God.

Jesus used great wisdom when he taught, "But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you..." (Matt 5:44 NIV) The Lord knew when he made this statement that it's difficult to feel superior to someone while praying for them.

7) Avoid making negative comments about your enemy.
If we are going to overcome pride, we must constantly work on it. We can't go back to making negative comments about our enemy or criticize what he is doing with his life. If we find ourselves in the company of people who suck us into such behavior, we must find a way to change the tone of the conversation or to remove ourselves from it.

We need to think about the positive qualities in our perpetrator. If we can't muster up any, then we can think about Christ's beautiful nature. Philippians 4:8 (NIV) reminds us: Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

Today's Challenge
In your journal, write down how pride has kept you from forgiving someone who has hurt you. Share the contents of your writing with God. Ask him to reveal his mercy for your enemy through this experience. If you don't yet have an accountability partner, find someone you can trust. Tell her about your struggle with pride and ask her to pray for you. Together, pray for your enemy.