We conclude this week's lessons on goodness with the thought that we should do good to those who hate us. Next week, we will turn our thoughts to faithfulness as we continue our series, Thriving in God's Garden. These lessons are all based on the fruit of the Spirit, which can be found in Galatians 5:22.
Love your enemies.
As survivors of abuse and trauma, it is often difficult for us to carry out this command, which is found in Luke 6:27 (NIV): But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you. How can we love someone who has hurt us so deeply?
We have considered this previously, and the only way I know of to love my enemy is to try and see him as God does. God loves all people, whom he created to become like him. If I look through the eyes of God's love, I can find a way to love people who are considered unloveable by mankind.
Express your love appropriately.
There are appropriate ways to express love to others. Consider this. If the President rang your doorbell, how would you greet him? Most Americans would offer him a handshake and invite him inside for coffee or iced tea. This would be appropriate, given the President's reputation and position of leadership.
On the other hand, if Osama bin Laden had showed up on your doorstep and you recognized him, you would have been wise to greet him much differently. His reputation for evil acts should have spurred you on to swiftly close the door, lock it, and call the cops. Then, you could have prayed within the safety of your home, asking God to soften Bin Laden's heart and to bring him to repentance.
The methods we use to determine how to love our abusers should be no different from the ways we decide to greet the President or Osama bin Laden. Love for our abusers does not necessarily mean that we invite them in for tea.
I was once pursued by a stalker, and I can assure you that inviting him into my home would have reactivated his need to control me. Our personal safety is much more important than figuring out some way to openly express love to such enemies. It is best, in cases like these, to love the person from a distance through prayer.
Do good to those who hate you.
Most abusers and stalkers do not hate us. In fact, they often love us to such an extreme that they must possess us. Therefore, I think it is actually easier to do good to other people who simply hate us than it is to do good to those who love us inappropriately.
Often, we are hated by people who can't stand the goodness in us. Their own evil ways make them feel so guilty, they squirm when they are in our presence. I have been called a goody-two-shoes, Church Lady Cheryl, and many other unkind names because of my faith.
How do we respond to people like this? I see them as God does: broken and miserable sinners who, like Satan, cannot tolerate to be in the presence of Christ. The most loving thing I can do in response to their harassment is to continue doing what I always do. I don't preach at them or respond to their sarcastic remarks. But I don't change my typical way of living out my faith, either.
We used to live next door to a woman who was a heavy drinker and smoker. She knew that Joe was a minister, and she frequently let fly with a string of curses before she realized that my husband was within earshot in the yard. She would make sarcastic remarks about having to watch her language if he was around.
Joe never preached to this woman about her sins. He greeted her pleasantly and made small talk, using language that was appropriate with her. He never joined her and the other neighbors in drinking alcochol or smoking.
Joe's example stood in stark contrast to our neighbor's behavior and provided her and her children with a far stronger message than any preaching could have. His actions showed perfectly how to do good to people who hate us and the goodness of God that dwells within us.
Today's Challenge
Is there someone in your life who hates you or the goodness within you? Strive to imitate God as much as possible through your actions in order to do good to them. Use very few words to make the point that you love them.
Showing posts with label God's goodness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God's goodness. Show all posts
Friday, May 6, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Plan Good to Find Love
This week, we are learning about how we can do good to those around us. This is a continuation of my series, Thriving in God's Garden, which is based on Galatians 5:22.
Life coaches recommend making plans.
Most of us are searching for ways to find happiness, success, and love. Life coaches often advise that we set goals and then make plans to help us reach our goals. In doing so, we fast-forward ourselves to achieving our dreams.
Proverbs 14:22 (NIV) supports this theory, but it also includes a warning. It reads, Do not those who plot evil go astray? But those who plan what is good find love and faithfulness.
Our plans must be good ones.
Making plans can propel us toward our dreams, but if we plan to do evil, we cannot expect blessings. Osama bin Laden plotted evil to kill innocent people through terrorism. As a result, he was hunted down and killed. Many people associated with him, including his family members, are suffering as a result of his evil goals.
While we are working toward our goals, we must find ways to give goodness to others. In my case, if I set a goal to sell a million copies of my latest novel, I must make sure that it benefits others in some way. I'm hoping that survivors of abuse and trauma will find Among the Ashes entertaining, as well as insightful. However, I have also decided to donate a percentage of all my book profits to organizations that help abused women and children.
I cannot step on others' toes or take advantage of people just to sell more books. At every turn, I must think of giving away good as much as I look forward to receiving blessings from my plans.
Today's Challenge
What goals have you set for yourself? Do your plans bring you closer to God? Do they benefit others? Will your goals help you to find love and faithfulness? If not, look for ways to revise your plans so that they will bring about good for everyone involved.
Among the Ashes is coming soon!
Cheryl Denton's mystery thriller about a young woman suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder is in production and will be ready for distribution this summer. It will be available in paperback, as well as e-book versions.
Life coaches recommend making plans.
Most of us are searching for ways to find happiness, success, and love. Life coaches often advise that we set goals and then make plans to help us reach our goals. In doing so, we fast-forward ourselves to achieving our dreams.
Proverbs 14:22 (NIV) supports this theory, but it also includes a warning. It reads, Do not those who plot evil go astray? But those who plan what is good find love and faithfulness.
Our plans must be good ones.
Making plans can propel us toward our dreams, but if we plan to do evil, we cannot expect blessings. Osama bin Laden plotted evil to kill innocent people through terrorism. As a result, he was hunted down and killed. Many people associated with him, including his family members, are suffering as a result of his evil goals.
While we are working toward our goals, we must find ways to give goodness to others. In my case, if I set a goal to sell a million copies of my latest novel, I must make sure that it benefits others in some way. I'm hoping that survivors of abuse and trauma will find Among the Ashes entertaining, as well as insightful. However, I have also decided to donate a percentage of all my book profits to organizations that help abused women and children.
I cannot step on others' toes or take advantage of people just to sell more books. At every turn, I must think of giving away good as much as I look forward to receiving blessings from my plans.
Today's Challenge
What goals have you set for yourself? Do your plans bring you closer to God? Do they benefit others? Will your goals help you to find love and faithfulness? If not, look for ways to revise your plans so that they will bring about good for everyone involved.
Among the Ashes is coming soon!
Cheryl Denton's mystery thriller about a young woman suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder is in production and will be ready for distribution this summer. It will be available in paperback, as well as e-book versions.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Do Not Withhold Good
We continue today with our thoughts about goodness as we study the fruit of the Spirit, as found in Galatians 5:22. This is a continuation of my nine-week series, Thriving in God's Garden.
We have the power to do good.
As victims of childhood abuse or domestic violence, we are acutely aware when there is a lack of good. Many of us experienced how it felt when the people we looked to for nurturing withheld good from us. Neglect harmed us just as much as physical blows or sexual molestation.
Proverbs 3:27 (NIV) tells us, Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act. God wants us to lavish deserving people with good things, just as he showers us with blessings. Even when we don't believe that we have much to offer others, God equips us to bless them.
Good acts are often free.
We can give away so much goodness every day in simple ways. If we look for opportunities to do good for people we meet, we will undoubtedly find them. A simple smile and a warm greeting may cheer someone who is having a hard day. Taking a few moments to help an elderly neighbor, a small child, or a co-worker can make a huge difference.
Coming up with imaginative ways to do good for our spouses can strengthen our marriages. We can look for ways to tell our mates that they are special. Picking fresh flowers, giving a back rub, preparing a favorite meal, sending a card to their workplace, leaving love notes in surprising places, or filling up the car with gas without being asked are all ways to do good for our partners.
Our children may see our goodness more readily if we show up unexpectedly at school with treats for everyone in class, or take extra time to play board games, or read a little longer at bedtime.
The poor and needy need our goodness most of all.
Many church and community organizations serve the poor and needy, who need to experience God's goodness. Volunteers often become like Jesus with skin on to those who are struggling.
Our church organized a large group to go out on Christmas morning to distribute blankets to homeless people in our inner-city. It was a frigid day, and we were shivering in our warm coats, hats, and gloves.
We encountered an elderly man who was appreciative of our gift of a blanket. As we were walking away, he asked if we had any gloves. Without a moment's hesitation, one of our volunteers removed his own leather gloves and handed him to the homeless man. This provided me with a wonderful example of giving goodness whenever it is in our power to act.
How often do you say yes to requests for help?
When someone asks you for help, are you the type of person who responds immediately? Or do you generally put off others, telling them you'll think about it?
This passage from Proverbs tells us not to withhold good from those who deserve it. Of course, we must use discernment so that con artists do not take advantage of us. We can't give our kids everything they demand, or we will spoil them. But whenever it is in our power to act, we should give quickly and generously to those who are truly in need.
Perhaps we will be the one person who gives good to an abused child or a battered woman. We may extend goodness at a time when victims of abuse or trauma have lost all hope.
In the past week, many of our southern states were torn apart by mile-wide tornadoes. Joe and I drove through some of those areas today, and we were taken aback by the damage we observed. Surely, victims of such disasters deserve our swift responses so that they will know God has not forgotten them.
Today's Challenge
Look for opportunities today to do something good for others. If they are deserving, give swiftly and generously. In doing so, someone may see for the first time the goodness of God through you.
We have the power to do good.
As victims of childhood abuse or domestic violence, we are acutely aware when there is a lack of good. Many of us experienced how it felt when the people we looked to for nurturing withheld good from us. Neglect harmed us just as much as physical blows or sexual molestation.
Proverbs 3:27 (NIV) tells us, Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act. God wants us to lavish deserving people with good things, just as he showers us with blessings. Even when we don't believe that we have much to offer others, God equips us to bless them.
Good acts are often free.
We can give away so much goodness every day in simple ways. If we look for opportunities to do good for people we meet, we will undoubtedly find them. A simple smile and a warm greeting may cheer someone who is having a hard day. Taking a few moments to help an elderly neighbor, a small child, or a co-worker can make a huge difference.
Coming up with imaginative ways to do good for our spouses can strengthen our marriages. We can look for ways to tell our mates that they are special. Picking fresh flowers, giving a back rub, preparing a favorite meal, sending a card to their workplace, leaving love notes in surprising places, or filling up the car with gas without being asked are all ways to do good for our partners.
Our children may see our goodness more readily if we show up unexpectedly at school with treats for everyone in class, or take extra time to play board games, or read a little longer at bedtime.
The poor and needy need our goodness most of all.
Many church and community organizations serve the poor and needy, who need to experience God's goodness. Volunteers often become like Jesus with skin on to those who are struggling.
Our church organized a large group to go out on Christmas morning to distribute blankets to homeless people in our inner-city. It was a frigid day, and we were shivering in our warm coats, hats, and gloves.
We encountered an elderly man who was appreciative of our gift of a blanket. As we were walking away, he asked if we had any gloves. Without a moment's hesitation, one of our volunteers removed his own leather gloves and handed him to the homeless man. This provided me with a wonderful example of giving goodness whenever it is in our power to act.
How often do you say yes to requests for help?
When someone asks you for help, are you the type of person who responds immediately? Or do you generally put off others, telling them you'll think about it?
This passage from Proverbs tells us not to withhold good from those who deserve it. Of course, we must use discernment so that con artists do not take advantage of us. We can't give our kids everything they demand, or we will spoil them. But whenever it is in our power to act, we should give quickly and generously to those who are truly in need.
Perhaps we will be the one person who gives good to an abused child or a battered woman. We may extend goodness at a time when victims of abuse or trauma have lost all hope.
In the past week, many of our southern states were torn apart by mile-wide tornadoes. Joe and I drove through some of those areas today, and we were taken aback by the damage we observed. Surely, victims of such disasters deserve our swift responses so that they will know God has not forgotten them.
Today's Challenge
Look for opportunities today to do something good for others. If they are deserving, give swiftly and generously. In doing so, someone may see for the first time the goodness of God through you.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
God is Merciful
We continue this week with our series, Removing the Roadblocks to Forgiveness. Today, we learn about God's mercy and how we can apply it in our journey to forgive our enemies.
Mercy is a form of God's goodness.
God's mercy is his way of expressing his goodness to people who are in misery or distress. We can think of God's overall goodness as the broad stroke of a brush; and mercy as more specific details directed to special places in the great painting of life.
Webster's defines mercy as: 1) compassion or forbearance shown especially to an offender or one subject to one's power; 2) a blessing that is an act of divine favor or compassion, or 3)compassionate treatment of those in distress.
The first definition, in my opinion, is more suitable when discussing God's grace. We will discuss that tomorrow. For now, we focus on mercy as God's way of expressing compassion to his people.
God shows compassion through divine acts of mercy.
Two blind men sought out Jesus, saying, "Have mercy on us, Son of David!" (Matthew 9:27 NIV) Jesus felt compassion for them and restored their sight.
When my daughter was two years old, I was diagnosed with stage four cancer. I cried out to God for mercy, begging him to give me more time to raise my child. He was merciful and healed me of the cancer that should have taken my life in a short time.
God comforts us when we are in distress.
God has comforted his people since the beginning of time, and he still does so today. I once moved to a strange city with a brand-new baby. God sent a minister to visit me one day when I was feeling hopeless and lonely. When I have been confined to the hospital, God has sent volunteers to pray with me and read the Bible to me. When I was injured by a drunk driver last year, he sent church members to cook meals, clean my house, and visit with me.
When children experience sexual abuse or we suffer from an unexpected trauma, God provides us with comfort. In my case, God has erased many of the details from memory to protect me from the pain of knowing that my father was not my protector, but my molester. The Lord has sent many women with beautiful spirits into my life to provide the love and nurturing that my own mother never could. Perhaps if you look back over your own life, you can see instances when God was there to comfort you.
We can offer mercy to others because God is merciful to us.
I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of God's mercy. So, it's relatively easy for me to extend it to others. I lead a quilting ministry through our church, and we use this as our key Bible passage in all communications that accompany the quilts, which we give to terminally ill patients at local hospitals:
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV)
God calls us to be merciful, even toward our enemies.
God expects all of us to extend mercy to others..,even our enemies. In Matthew 5:7 (NIV), Jesus said, "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy." You may be wondering how on earth we are supposed to extend mercy to our perpetrators.
The way I look at it, the criminal justice system has done its work to punish my father for molesting my daughter. He is now in jail and will remain there for a number of years. It is not my responsibility to punish him, but to extend God's mercy to him.
At the very least, I can pray for my father's safety, asking God to have compassion on him as he struggles to adjust to living in the confines of a small space with other dangerous criminals. I wouldn't want to spend my twilight years sleeping on a thin, hard mattress or eating institutional food with armed guards hovering nearby. It breaks my heart to think of anyone living under such conditions, and most especially my own father.
Over time, the prison psychologist may invite members of the family to attend counseling sessions with my father. I would cooperate with the prison staff, provided they felt that my father was truly ready to begin working on restitution within the family.
Until then, I can send cards to encourage my father, magazine articles about God's love for him, and other long-distance messages aimed at helping him surrender his life to Christ. I would do this, not as a means of re-establishing a relationship with my father, but to extend God's mercy to him.
A word of caution
It's important to realize that there is an appropriate time and place for expressing mercy to abusers. If it is given without their first achieving a sense of genuine remorse, we could be setting ourselves up for further abuse. Please be mindful of your physical, emotional, and spiritual safety before offering mercy to violent, controlling, or abusive people. Get a qualified therapist to help you if you decide to move forward in this regard.
Today's Challenge
In your journal, list all of the ways that God has shown you mercy. Then, write down how you extend that mercy to others. List some ways that you can extend mercy to your enemy without endangering yourself.
Mercy is a form of God's goodness.
God's mercy is his way of expressing his goodness to people who are in misery or distress. We can think of God's overall goodness as the broad stroke of a brush; and mercy as more specific details directed to special places in the great painting of life.
Webster's defines mercy as: 1) compassion or forbearance shown especially to an offender or one subject to one's power; 2) a blessing that is an act of divine favor or compassion, or 3)compassionate treatment of those in distress.
The first definition, in my opinion, is more suitable when discussing God's grace. We will discuss that tomorrow. For now, we focus on mercy as God's way of expressing compassion to his people.
God shows compassion through divine acts of mercy.
Two blind men sought out Jesus, saying, "Have mercy on us, Son of David!" (Matthew 9:27 NIV) Jesus felt compassion for them and restored their sight.
When my daughter was two years old, I was diagnosed with stage four cancer. I cried out to God for mercy, begging him to give me more time to raise my child. He was merciful and healed me of the cancer that should have taken my life in a short time.
God comforts us when we are in distress.
God has comforted his people since the beginning of time, and he still does so today. I once moved to a strange city with a brand-new baby. God sent a minister to visit me one day when I was feeling hopeless and lonely. When I have been confined to the hospital, God has sent volunteers to pray with me and read the Bible to me. When I was injured by a drunk driver last year, he sent church members to cook meals, clean my house, and visit with me.
When children experience sexual abuse or we suffer from an unexpected trauma, God provides us with comfort. In my case, God has erased many of the details from memory to protect me from the pain of knowing that my father was not my protector, but my molester. The Lord has sent many women with beautiful spirits into my life to provide the love and nurturing that my own mother never could. Perhaps if you look back over your own life, you can see instances when God was there to comfort you.
We can offer mercy to others because God is merciful to us.
I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of God's mercy. So, it's relatively easy for me to extend it to others. I lead a quilting ministry through our church, and we use this as our key Bible passage in all communications that accompany the quilts, which we give to terminally ill patients at local hospitals:
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV)
God calls us to be merciful, even toward our enemies.
God expects all of us to extend mercy to others..,even our enemies. In Matthew 5:7 (NIV), Jesus said, "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy." You may be wondering how on earth we are supposed to extend mercy to our perpetrators.
The way I look at it, the criminal justice system has done its work to punish my father for molesting my daughter. He is now in jail and will remain there for a number of years. It is not my responsibility to punish him, but to extend God's mercy to him.
At the very least, I can pray for my father's safety, asking God to have compassion on him as he struggles to adjust to living in the confines of a small space with other dangerous criminals. I wouldn't want to spend my twilight years sleeping on a thin, hard mattress or eating institutional food with armed guards hovering nearby. It breaks my heart to think of anyone living under such conditions, and most especially my own father.
Over time, the prison psychologist may invite members of the family to attend counseling sessions with my father. I would cooperate with the prison staff, provided they felt that my father was truly ready to begin working on restitution within the family.
Until then, I can send cards to encourage my father, magazine articles about God's love for him, and other long-distance messages aimed at helping him surrender his life to Christ. I would do this, not as a means of re-establishing a relationship with my father, but to extend God's mercy to him.
A word of caution
It's important to realize that there is an appropriate time and place for expressing mercy to abusers. If it is given without their first achieving a sense of genuine remorse, we could be setting ourselves up for further abuse. Please be mindful of your physical, emotional, and spiritual safety before offering mercy to violent, controlling, or abusive people. Get a qualified therapist to help you if you decide to move forward in this regard.
Today's Challenge
In your journal, list all of the ways that God has shown you mercy. Then, write down how you extend that mercy to others. List some ways that you can extend mercy to your enemy without endangering yourself.
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