I've been off the radar for a few days, because MS has knocked me for a loop. I don't like to let my readers down, and it has been bothering me that I haven't had the strength to continue writing. However, the experience has taught me, once again, that we can always find some good in suffering.
I was lying in bed last night, suffering from so much pain that I wished I could die. Not only did my joints and muscles hurt, but my spirit was in agony. I'd been having recurring nightmares again about my parents, and the images left me feeling so depressed, I could hardly stand to breathe.
I prayed that God would give me some relief. Instead, he whispered that I should be looking for the good in my suffering. Suddenly, I realized that whenever I'm in such bad shape, I lean harder on God. It dawned on me that when I'm sick, I have to trust him completely. In that instant, it didn't matter anymore that everything hurt. I felt God's nearness, and I knew that I could endure anything together with him.
In the old testament, Joseph's brothers threw him into a pit to kill him. But when some slave traders came along, they decided instead to sell him. Later in life, when Joseph was serving as one of the most powerful leaders of Egypt, his brothers approached him for help. A famine in their land was wiping out the population.
When they discovered that this great leader was their brother, whom they had tried to kill, they were terrified. But Joseph forgave them and said, You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. (Gen 50:20 NIV)
I have really been struggling with thoughts about what I would like to say to my parents about my dad molesting my daughter, as well as his molesting me as a child. I finally sat down yesterday and wrote a six-page letter. I told them how they had hurt me and that I needed them to admit the truth about what they had done. I asked them to apologize, but only if they sincerely understood how much damage they had done.
I concluded the letter with a list of things they had done well as parents, ending with the statement that God can take the most awful childhood and make something beautiful out of it.
As a result of my unhappy experiences, I have developed a voice for all victims, which I express through the written word. My parents meant to harm me, but God intended that suffering for good to accomplish what is now being done, the encouraging of many wounded souls.
Thank you for your understanding about my recent silence. Next week, we will continue with my series, Confident in God's Hands.
Today's Challenge
Take a look at your past and acknowledge the pain you have experienced. Then, reflect on how God may be using that suffering to carry out his plans and draw you into a relationship with him. Put your thoughts in writing, and if it is safe to do so, mail it off to the person who hurt you. Remind them that God will use the pain they imposed on you to accomplish something important.
Showing posts with label God's love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God's love. Show all posts
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Friday, July 1, 2011
Admit Your Mistakes and Move On
We are learning how to be more courageous through my series, Confident in God's Hands. Today, I would like to consider how we get mired down by our past. As survivors, many of us get stuck there, because we believe that we can't shake off the mistakes we've made.
Even successful people make mistakes.
Everyone makes mistakes, but truly successful people don't give up. Consider some famous people who overcame their past mistakes to achieve incredible success.
In his early years, teachers told Thomas Edison that he was "too stupid to learn anything." He didn't fare much better in his career, either. He was fired from his first two jobs for not being productive enough. Even as an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. Of course, all those unsuccessful attempts finally resulted in the design that worked.
Most people know Oprah as one of the most iconic faces on TV. However, she was fired from her job as a television reporter, because she was told that she was "unfit for tv." But she didn't let her past mistakes dictate who she would become, and today she is one of the richest and most successful women in the world.
Back in 1954, Elvis Presley was a nobody, and Jimmy Denny, manager of the Grand Ole Opry, fired Elvis after just one performance. He told him, "You ain't goin' nowhere, son. You ought to go back to drivin' a truck." Elvis didn't let his mistakes stop him, and he went on to become one of the most memorable musicians of the twentieth century.
God loved us first.
The Bible tells us, My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn't know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can't know him if you don't love. This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they've done to our relationship with God.
(1 John 4:8 MSG)
We can see from this passage that God loved us first, and then he sent Jesus to die for our sins. It doesn't say that he waited for us to be perfect, and then he sent Jesus to take us to heaven. So if we're bypassing opportunities because we feel that we don't measure up in God's sight, it's time to rethink how we're operating. With God on our side, we can admit our mistakes and get on with our lives.
Move on.
If we're holding ourselves back because of mistakes we've made in the past, we must admit where we've gone wrong, learn from our errors, and move on. By constantly self-checking and improving our outcomes, we can succeed.
If other people are telling us that we're making mistakes, we must consider whether or not there is any truth in what they're saying. If there is, we will have to work at changing. If they're simply the type of people who constantly drag us down with criticism, we must ignore them or leave them behind.
God knows where we are going in this life and in the next. We can't let our mistakes of the past or other people's opinions of us hold us back. With a little faith in ourselves and belief in God's love for us, we can accomplish just about anything.
Today's Challenge
Decide today to take a chance on something you've always wanted to do, even if you have always believed that your past failures will hold you back. Admit your mistakes, learn from them, and move on!
Even successful people make mistakes.
Everyone makes mistakes, but truly successful people don't give up. Consider some famous people who overcame their past mistakes to achieve incredible success.
In his early years, teachers told Thomas Edison that he was "too stupid to learn anything." He didn't fare much better in his career, either. He was fired from his first two jobs for not being productive enough. Even as an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. Of course, all those unsuccessful attempts finally resulted in the design that worked.
Most people know Oprah as one of the most iconic faces on TV. However, she was fired from her job as a television reporter, because she was told that she was "unfit for tv." But she didn't let her past mistakes dictate who she would become, and today she is one of the richest and most successful women in the world.
Back in 1954, Elvis Presley was a nobody, and Jimmy Denny, manager of the Grand Ole Opry, fired Elvis after just one performance. He told him, "You ain't goin' nowhere, son. You ought to go back to drivin' a truck." Elvis didn't let his mistakes stop him, and he went on to become one of the most memorable musicians of the twentieth century.
God loved us first.
The Bible tells us, My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn't know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can't know him if you don't love. This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they've done to our relationship with God.
(1 John 4:8 MSG)
We can see from this passage that God loved us first, and then he sent Jesus to die for our sins. It doesn't say that he waited for us to be perfect, and then he sent Jesus to take us to heaven. So if we're bypassing opportunities because we feel that we don't measure up in God's sight, it's time to rethink how we're operating. With God on our side, we can admit our mistakes and get on with our lives.
Move on.
If we're holding ourselves back because of mistakes we've made in the past, we must admit where we've gone wrong, learn from our errors, and move on. By constantly self-checking and improving our outcomes, we can succeed.
If other people are telling us that we're making mistakes, we must consider whether or not there is any truth in what they're saying. If there is, we will have to work at changing. If they're simply the type of people who constantly drag us down with criticism, we must ignore them or leave them behind.
God knows where we are going in this life and in the next. We can't let our mistakes of the past or other people's opinions of us hold us back. With a little faith in ourselves and belief in God's love for us, we can accomplish just about anything.
Today's Challenge
Decide today to take a chance on something you've always wanted to do, even if you have always believed that your past failures will hold you back. Admit your mistakes, learn from them, and move on!
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
A Powerful Weapon Against Fear
We continue this week with a look at how our fears erode our self-confidence in my series, Confident in God's Hands. Today, I would like to give you a powerful weapon to use in the battle against fear.
Begin with the truth.
Years ago, I decided to home school my children. In the state where we lived at the time, it was practically illegal. Other home schooling parents advised me not to take the children out in public during the school day. At the time, truant officers were pressing charges against parents and removing the children from their parents' care.
I was more than a litte scared about making such a huge change in our family. What if I got caught? Would the authorities take away my children? What if I failed to teach the children all that they needed to know? Would they find themselves falling short in all areas of life?
I realized that I needed tremendous courage to make it through that first school year. So did the kids. So I decided to begin by teaching them some key verses of Scripture. Their first memorized verse was Psalm 27:1 (NIV): The Lord is my light and my salvation--whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my lfe--of whom shall I be afraid?
While the kids worked to memorize those lines, the truth of it began to sink into my heart. It dawned on me that God was like a fortress around me, and he wasn't going to let anyone break down the walls that he had built.
Expect results.
God's love is an impenatrable wall that fears cannot break down. His truth became the foundation of newfound courage for me in the face of great challenges. Since that time, I have built upon his truths daily to overcome the fears that threaten to steal my peace.
Did my tactic of using God's Word work? I think so. I'm far less fearful today than I was back then. And all three of my adult children know God and have used the knowledge they gained through home schooling and traditional education to become successful in their professions.
If we read God's truth daily and focus on what he can do, no fear can stop us. But we must expect results when we read, applying the truths to our own situations. In other words, we must have faith and believe that God's promises are real and that they apply to each of us personally.
Today's Challenge
Write down Psalm 27:1 in a prominent place where you will see it daily. Write it on an index card and tape it to your bathroom mirror, paint it over your front door, or put in on your computer's screen saver. Memorize the truth contained in God's Word so that you can be better prepared to ward off fears when they come after you.
Begin with the truth.
Years ago, I decided to home school my children. In the state where we lived at the time, it was practically illegal. Other home schooling parents advised me not to take the children out in public during the school day. At the time, truant officers were pressing charges against parents and removing the children from their parents' care.
I was more than a litte scared about making such a huge change in our family. What if I got caught? Would the authorities take away my children? What if I failed to teach the children all that they needed to know? Would they find themselves falling short in all areas of life?
I realized that I needed tremendous courage to make it through that first school year. So did the kids. So I decided to begin by teaching them some key verses of Scripture. Their first memorized verse was Psalm 27:1 (NIV): The Lord is my light and my salvation--whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my lfe--of whom shall I be afraid?
While the kids worked to memorize those lines, the truth of it began to sink into my heart. It dawned on me that God was like a fortress around me, and he wasn't going to let anyone break down the walls that he had built.
Expect results.
God's love is an impenatrable wall that fears cannot break down. His truth became the foundation of newfound courage for me in the face of great challenges. Since that time, I have built upon his truths daily to overcome the fears that threaten to steal my peace.
Did my tactic of using God's Word work? I think so. I'm far less fearful today than I was back then. And all three of my adult children know God and have used the knowledge they gained through home schooling and traditional education to become successful in their professions.
If we read God's truth daily and focus on what he can do, no fear can stop us. But we must expect results when we read, applying the truths to our own situations. In other words, we must have faith and believe that God's promises are real and that they apply to each of us personally.
Today's Challenge
Write down Psalm 27:1 in a prominent place where you will see it daily. Write it on an index card and tape it to your bathroom mirror, paint it over your front door, or put in on your computer's screen saver. Memorize the truth contained in God's Word so that you can be better prepared to ward off fears when they come after you.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
The Beauty of a Gentle Spirit
This week, we are learning about gentleness in my series, Thriving in God's Garden. Today, we look at the importance of inner beauty and the deceitfulness of outer beauty.
True beauty starts on the inside.
The apostle, Peter, wrote about women's beauty in a letter to the early Christian church. Some denominations believe that these are specific rules against certain outward appearances, but I think Peter had a bigger message in mind.
He wrote, Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. (I Peter 3:3-4 NIV)
This passage does not mean that we should quit braiding our hair, put on frumpy clothes, or sell all of our bling. Peter simply used these examples to make the point that we can't rely on our outer beauty if we are ugly on the inside.
Develop a gentle spirit.
As survivors of abuse, we frequently feel that we are ugly. Our shame causes us to feel inferior to others, whom we may admire for their outer beauty.
We may try to compensate for the way we feel about ourselves by going overboard with extreme hairstyles, excessive makeup, or tons of jewelry. We cannot rely on these outer adornments to express our beauty. No amount of make-up, jewelry, or clothing will make us beautiful if we are filled with bitterness, revenge, or hatred.
God created us in his own image, and he loves us in spite of our flaws. When we learn to accept God's love, our inner beauty begins to grow. A quiet spirit brings us inner peace, which radiates gentle beauty from the inside.
Please don't misunderstand here what is being said about outer appearances. Peter did not mean to imply that we should neglect our personal grooming. Clean skin, healthy teeth, a stylish haircut, and modest clothing and accessories all go a long way toward helping us feel as if we have our act together.
Don't be a rotten melon.
Have you ever gone to the grocery to purchase a beautiful green watermelon, taken it home for a family picnic, and discovered that it had turned to mush on the inside? Like a rotten melon, the bigger point of Peter's message is that outer beauty is worthless without inner goodness. God desires for us to work much harder on our inner beauty than on outward appearances.
Today's Challenge
Take time today for a check-up of both your inner and outer beauty. How much time are you spending on the development of inner beauty, which comes from a gentle and quiet spirit? Are you taking care of your appearance with good grooming? Or are you trying to compensate for low self-worth by over-dressing? Make a commitment today to develop a gentle and quiet spirit through Bible study and fellowship with other mature Christians so that you can glow from the inside out.
True beauty starts on the inside.
The apostle, Peter, wrote about women's beauty in a letter to the early Christian church. Some denominations believe that these are specific rules against certain outward appearances, but I think Peter had a bigger message in mind.
He wrote, Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. (I Peter 3:3-4 NIV)
This passage does not mean that we should quit braiding our hair, put on frumpy clothes, or sell all of our bling. Peter simply used these examples to make the point that we can't rely on our outer beauty if we are ugly on the inside.
Develop a gentle spirit.
As survivors of abuse, we frequently feel that we are ugly. Our shame causes us to feel inferior to others, whom we may admire for their outer beauty.
We may try to compensate for the way we feel about ourselves by going overboard with extreme hairstyles, excessive makeup, or tons of jewelry. We cannot rely on these outer adornments to express our beauty. No amount of make-up, jewelry, or clothing will make us beautiful if we are filled with bitterness, revenge, or hatred.
God created us in his own image, and he loves us in spite of our flaws. When we learn to accept God's love, our inner beauty begins to grow. A quiet spirit brings us inner peace, which radiates gentle beauty from the inside.
Please don't misunderstand here what is being said about outer appearances. Peter did not mean to imply that we should neglect our personal grooming. Clean skin, healthy teeth, a stylish haircut, and modest clothing and accessories all go a long way toward helping us feel as if we have our act together.
Don't be a rotten melon.
Have you ever gone to the grocery to purchase a beautiful green watermelon, taken it home for a family picnic, and discovered that it had turned to mush on the inside? Like a rotten melon, the bigger point of Peter's message is that outer beauty is worthless without inner goodness. God desires for us to work much harder on our inner beauty than on outward appearances.
Today's Challenge
Take time today for a check-up of both your inner and outer beauty. How much time are you spending on the development of inner beauty, which comes from a gentle and quiet spirit? Are you taking care of your appearance with good grooming? Or are you trying to compensate for low self-worth by over-dressing? Make a commitment today to develop a gentle and quiet spirit through Bible study and fellowship with other mature Christians so that you can glow from the inside out.
Monday, May 9, 2011
God’s Faithfulness Endures Forever
We focus our thoughts this week on the concept of faithfulness as we continue with week seven of my nine-week series, Thriving in God’s Garden. This study is based on Galatians 5:22, known as the fruit of the Spirit.
The shortest chapter in the Bible holds the greatest truth.
Psalm 117 is the shortest chapter in the Bible and contains one of the greatest truths: God is perpetually involved in the destiny of all people groups by faithfully lavishing us with his love. The passage reads, Praise the Lord, all you nations; extol him, all you peoples. For great is his love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. Praise the Lord.
The emphasis of this chapter, if we look at it closely, is the message that God’s love is for all people, not just the nation of Israel. Jesus came to bring the Gospel of love to people of all nations, not just his fellow Jews. This was a hard concept for people of Jesus’ day to accept, because the Jews looked down on others, such as the people of Samaria.
We must accept that God loves evil people.
Today, we struggle with this same prideful attitude. We think of God’s faithfulness in loving us as something that belongs to people who are worthy. We have a hard time thinking of our abusers as people whom God also loves. But if we look back and read Psalm 117 more than once, we come to understand that God loves all people.
Last week, the world cheered when journaists revealed that Osama bin Laden had finally been captured and killed. A universal shout went up at Ground Zero in New York City, because many felt that justice had finally been served. I must admit that the first words out of my mouth were, “Hallelujah!”
In the next instant, I felt regret over expressing joy that a man had died. It was never God’s plan to create this person so that he could become a leader in world terrorism. God’s faithfulness in loving Osama bin Laden never ended.
And yet, we know from our previous studies about God’s character that he must punish men like Osama bin Laden. God loves all people, but he also hates sin. And he promises to punish those who refuse to turn away from their sins.
Therefore, we should not be cheering over bin Laden’s death. We should be grieving, because we failed to find a way to help the man understand that God is love. Bin Laden never figured out that God wants us to love one another.
When we are suffering or sinning, God’s faithfulness endures. No matter how badly we behave, his love never ends. The same truth about God applies to the people who have hurt us…including people as evil as Osama bin Laden.
Today’s Challenge
Are there people or nations whom you believe God does not love? How does this lesson about God’s faithfulness challenge those beliefs? Take some time today to reflect about God’s faithfulness in loving you when you have been at your worst. Think about how that same faithfulness applies to the people you believe are so undeserving.
The shortest chapter in the Bible holds the greatest truth.
Psalm 117 is the shortest chapter in the Bible and contains one of the greatest truths: God is perpetually involved in the destiny of all people groups by faithfully lavishing us with his love. The passage reads, Praise the Lord, all you nations; extol him, all you peoples. For great is his love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. Praise the Lord.
The emphasis of this chapter, if we look at it closely, is the message that God’s love is for all people, not just the nation of Israel. Jesus came to bring the Gospel of love to people of all nations, not just his fellow Jews. This was a hard concept for people of Jesus’ day to accept, because the Jews looked down on others, such as the people of Samaria.
We must accept that God loves evil people.
Today, we struggle with this same prideful attitude. We think of God’s faithfulness in loving us as something that belongs to people who are worthy. We have a hard time thinking of our abusers as people whom God also loves. But if we look back and read Psalm 117 more than once, we come to understand that God loves all people.
Last week, the world cheered when journaists revealed that Osama bin Laden had finally been captured and killed. A universal shout went up at Ground Zero in New York City, because many felt that justice had finally been served. I must admit that the first words out of my mouth were, “Hallelujah!”
In the next instant, I felt regret over expressing joy that a man had died. It was never God’s plan to create this person so that he could become a leader in world terrorism. God’s faithfulness in loving Osama bin Laden never ended.
And yet, we know from our previous studies about God’s character that he must punish men like Osama bin Laden. God loves all people, but he also hates sin. And he promises to punish those who refuse to turn away from their sins.
Therefore, we should not be cheering over bin Laden’s death. We should be grieving, because we failed to find a way to help the man understand that God is love. Bin Laden never figured out that God wants us to love one another.
When we are suffering or sinning, God’s faithfulness endures. No matter how badly we behave, his love never ends. The same truth about God applies to the people who have hurt us…including people as evil as Osama bin Laden.
Today’s Challenge
Are there people or nations whom you believe God does not love? How does this lesson about God’s faithfulness challenge those beliefs? Take some time today to reflect about God’s faithfulness in loving you when you have been at your worst. Think about how that same faithfulness applies to the people you believe are so undeserving.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Do Not Withhold Good
We continue today with our thoughts about goodness as we study the fruit of the Spirit, as found in Galatians 5:22. This is a continuation of my nine-week series, Thriving in God's Garden.
We have the power to do good.
As victims of childhood abuse or domestic violence, we are acutely aware when there is a lack of good. Many of us experienced how it felt when the people we looked to for nurturing withheld good from us. Neglect harmed us just as much as physical blows or sexual molestation.
Proverbs 3:27 (NIV) tells us, Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act. God wants us to lavish deserving people with good things, just as he showers us with blessings. Even when we don't believe that we have much to offer others, God equips us to bless them.
Good acts are often free.
We can give away so much goodness every day in simple ways. If we look for opportunities to do good for people we meet, we will undoubtedly find them. A simple smile and a warm greeting may cheer someone who is having a hard day. Taking a few moments to help an elderly neighbor, a small child, or a co-worker can make a huge difference.
Coming up with imaginative ways to do good for our spouses can strengthen our marriages. We can look for ways to tell our mates that they are special. Picking fresh flowers, giving a back rub, preparing a favorite meal, sending a card to their workplace, leaving love notes in surprising places, or filling up the car with gas without being asked are all ways to do good for our partners.
Our children may see our goodness more readily if we show up unexpectedly at school with treats for everyone in class, or take extra time to play board games, or read a little longer at bedtime.
The poor and needy need our goodness most of all.
Many church and community organizations serve the poor and needy, who need to experience God's goodness. Volunteers often become like Jesus with skin on to those who are struggling.
Our church organized a large group to go out on Christmas morning to distribute blankets to homeless people in our inner-city. It was a frigid day, and we were shivering in our warm coats, hats, and gloves.
We encountered an elderly man who was appreciative of our gift of a blanket. As we were walking away, he asked if we had any gloves. Without a moment's hesitation, one of our volunteers removed his own leather gloves and handed him to the homeless man. This provided me with a wonderful example of giving goodness whenever it is in our power to act.
How often do you say yes to requests for help?
When someone asks you for help, are you the type of person who responds immediately? Or do you generally put off others, telling them you'll think about it?
This passage from Proverbs tells us not to withhold good from those who deserve it. Of course, we must use discernment so that con artists do not take advantage of us. We can't give our kids everything they demand, or we will spoil them. But whenever it is in our power to act, we should give quickly and generously to those who are truly in need.
Perhaps we will be the one person who gives good to an abused child or a battered woman. We may extend goodness at a time when victims of abuse or trauma have lost all hope.
In the past week, many of our southern states were torn apart by mile-wide tornadoes. Joe and I drove through some of those areas today, and we were taken aback by the damage we observed. Surely, victims of such disasters deserve our swift responses so that they will know God has not forgotten them.
Today's Challenge
Look for opportunities today to do something good for others. If they are deserving, give swiftly and generously. In doing so, someone may see for the first time the goodness of God through you.
We have the power to do good.
As victims of childhood abuse or domestic violence, we are acutely aware when there is a lack of good. Many of us experienced how it felt when the people we looked to for nurturing withheld good from us. Neglect harmed us just as much as physical blows or sexual molestation.
Proverbs 3:27 (NIV) tells us, Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act. God wants us to lavish deserving people with good things, just as he showers us with blessings. Even when we don't believe that we have much to offer others, God equips us to bless them.
Good acts are often free.
We can give away so much goodness every day in simple ways. If we look for opportunities to do good for people we meet, we will undoubtedly find them. A simple smile and a warm greeting may cheer someone who is having a hard day. Taking a few moments to help an elderly neighbor, a small child, or a co-worker can make a huge difference.
Coming up with imaginative ways to do good for our spouses can strengthen our marriages. We can look for ways to tell our mates that they are special. Picking fresh flowers, giving a back rub, preparing a favorite meal, sending a card to their workplace, leaving love notes in surprising places, or filling up the car with gas without being asked are all ways to do good for our partners.
Our children may see our goodness more readily if we show up unexpectedly at school with treats for everyone in class, or take extra time to play board games, or read a little longer at bedtime.
The poor and needy need our goodness most of all.
Many church and community organizations serve the poor and needy, who need to experience God's goodness. Volunteers often become like Jesus with skin on to those who are struggling.
Our church organized a large group to go out on Christmas morning to distribute blankets to homeless people in our inner-city. It was a frigid day, and we were shivering in our warm coats, hats, and gloves.
We encountered an elderly man who was appreciative of our gift of a blanket. As we were walking away, he asked if we had any gloves. Without a moment's hesitation, one of our volunteers removed his own leather gloves and handed him to the homeless man. This provided me with a wonderful example of giving goodness whenever it is in our power to act.
How often do you say yes to requests for help?
When someone asks you for help, are you the type of person who responds immediately? Or do you generally put off others, telling them you'll think about it?
This passage from Proverbs tells us not to withhold good from those who deserve it. Of course, we must use discernment so that con artists do not take advantage of us. We can't give our kids everything they demand, or we will spoil them. But whenever it is in our power to act, we should give quickly and generously to those who are truly in need.
Perhaps we will be the one person who gives good to an abused child or a battered woman. We may extend goodness at a time when victims of abuse or trauma have lost all hope.
In the past week, many of our southern states were torn apart by mile-wide tornadoes. Joe and I drove through some of those areas today, and we were taken aback by the damage we observed. Surely, victims of such disasters deserve our swift responses so that they will know God has not forgotten them.
Today's Challenge
Look for opportunities today to do something good for others. If they are deserving, give swiftly and generously. In doing so, someone may see for the first time the goodness of God through you.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Love Your Neighbor As Yourself
This week, we have learned that God loves us so much that he gave up his only son to die for us. Therefore, we have good reason to love him in return for his graciousness to us. We are called to share that love with all people and to pray for those who have hurt us. Today, I would like to look at what it means to love our neighbors in my series, Thriving in God's Garden.
The Golden Rule
When a teacher of the law asked Jesus which commandment was the most important, this was his response. "The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." (Mark 12:29-31 NIV)
Love your neighbor as yourself has come to be known as The Golden Rule. There is no greater law that governs how people are supposed to treat one another. So what, exactly, does it mean to love our neighbors as ourselves?
Do you love yourself?
Many people who have suffered the trauma of childhood sexual abuse or domestic violence have very low opinions of themselves. They find it difficult to love themselves, because they either feel degraded and ashamed of themselves, or they have been brainwashed into believing that they are worthless. In order to love others, we must first learn to love ourselves.
This means that we actually accept the love that God has to offer. And when we reach out and take it from him, we love him back by changing the way we live. We give up habits that would make God feel unwelcome in our homes. And we turn away from any lifestyle that would harm our bodies. After all, God's Spirit lives inside of us when we become Christians, so we really need to keep ourselves pure.
Love people who aren't easy to love.
So, if we're behaving ourselves so that we can feel good about our lives, we can learn to share God's love with others. Most of us have no difficulty loving our children or our pets. Some have a little trouble loving spouses. Many of us struggle when it comes to loving certain neighbors, because they aren't exactly easy to love.
We used to have a neighbor who drank together with her adult children every night. While we were trying to sleep, the neighbors were shouting obscenities at one another and breaking beer bottles in their backyard. After many sleepless nights, Joe went to ask them to quiet down. That lasted about ten minutes.
The next night, we decided it was best to call the police. After a cop arrived to tell the neighbors to take their party inside, we could hear them bickering about who caused the problem and speculating that we were the people who had turned them in.
It was difficult to be pleasant to this woman, because she was drunk and surly at night and then withdrawn during the day. Nevertheless, we tried our best to be good neighbors to her. When I picked vegetables from the garden, I shared them with her. I baked cookies for her children and gave her books I had finished reading. I can't say that we ever became friends, but I tried my best to love my neighbor.
Today's Challenge
Is there someone in your life who needs to feel God's love? Perhaps there's a co-worker, a neighbor, a child down the block, or an elderly person who needs to feel a connection to God through you. Take time today to speak with that person, offer them a small gift, or do a chore for them. By loving someone else, you will find that you love yourself a little bit more in the process.
The Golden Rule
When a teacher of the law asked Jesus which commandment was the most important, this was his response. "The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." (Mark 12:29-31 NIV)
Love your neighbor as yourself has come to be known as The Golden Rule. There is no greater law that governs how people are supposed to treat one another. So what, exactly, does it mean to love our neighbors as ourselves?
Do you love yourself?
Many people who have suffered the trauma of childhood sexual abuse or domestic violence have very low opinions of themselves. They find it difficult to love themselves, because they either feel degraded and ashamed of themselves, or they have been brainwashed into believing that they are worthless. In order to love others, we must first learn to love ourselves.
This means that we actually accept the love that God has to offer. And when we reach out and take it from him, we love him back by changing the way we live. We give up habits that would make God feel unwelcome in our homes. And we turn away from any lifestyle that would harm our bodies. After all, God's Spirit lives inside of us when we become Christians, so we really need to keep ourselves pure.
Love people who aren't easy to love.
So, if we're behaving ourselves so that we can feel good about our lives, we can learn to share God's love with others. Most of us have no difficulty loving our children or our pets. Some have a little trouble loving spouses. Many of us struggle when it comes to loving certain neighbors, because they aren't exactly easy to love.
We used to have a neighbor who drank together with her adult children every night. While we were trying to sleep, the neighbors were shouting obscenities at one another and breaking beer bottles in their backyard. After many sleepless nights, Joe went to ask them to quiet down. That lasted about ten minutes.
The next night, we decided it was best to call the police. After a cop arrived to tell the neighbors to take their party inside, we could hear them bickering about who caused the problem and speculating that we were the people who had turned them in.
It was difficult to be pleasant to this woman, because she was drunk and surly at night and then withdrawn during the day. Nevertheless, we tried our best to be good neighbors to her. When I picked vegetables from the garden, I shared them with her. I baked cookies for her children and gave her books I had finished reading. I can't say that we ever became friends, but I tried my best to love my neighbor.
Today's Challenge
Is there someone in your life who needs to feel God's love? Perhaps there's a co-worker, a neighbor, a child down the block, or an elderly person who needs to feel a connection to God through you. Take time today to speak with that person, offer them a small gift, or do a chore for them. By loving someone else, you will find that you love yourself a little bit more in the process.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Love Your Enemies
We continue today with our series, Thriving in God's Garden, a study based on the fruit of the Spirit as described in Galatians 5:22. This week, we are learning about our love relationship with God and with others. Today, I would like to discuss how we can love our enemies.
What does the Bible say about love for our enemies?
Luke 6:27-28 (NIV) reads: But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Jesus spoke these words to his disciples to make three points:
1) We should never treat others spitefully, even when they abuse us;
2) We should love everyone; and
3) We should go the extra mile to express love to our enemies.
How can we protect ourselves from further abuse?
When I used to read this passage, my warning signals began going off. I knew that if I expressed love in practical ways to the abusive people in my life, they would come after me like a pack of wolves on an injured sheep.
We often mistakenly interpret this message to mean that we must put ourselves into a relationship with people who abuse us. This is not what Jesus meant. We can love them from a distance, and Jesus gave us examples of how we might do that.
Show your enemies your love in appropriate ways.
For women who have been victims of domestic violence or adults who suffered childhood sexual abuse, expressing love to their abusers can be difficult. But it is not impossible.
First, let me say that there are ways to express love to abusers that I would not recommend. If your expression of love results in your abuser verbally abusing you, emotionally destroying you at every opportunity, physically harming you, or taking advantage of you sexually for their own gratification; you should immediately remove yourself and any children from such a situation. Every individual's emotional, physical, sexual, and spiritual safety must be considered first.
Many abusers do not have the skills to live within a relationship without hurting or using others. Therefore, we must be careful to protect ourselves when we express love to them. If we are kind to them, and in return we receive more abuse, it may be time to step back and wait. In some cases, our abusers may never respond appropriately, but at least we can say we have tried.
When we are in a safe place and free from further abuse, we can find ways to express love to that person who hurt us. From a human perspective, this can feel impossible. But if we pray and ask Jesus to help us love, we may be surprised by what happens.
At first, loving our enemies begins with a lessening of the hatred and anger we feel toward them. Over time, we let go of our need to control the situation or to seek revenge. Eventually, with God's help, we can get to the point where we actually wish only good for our abusers.
When we get to that point of recovery, we can find ways to do good for our abusers and to bless them. Here are some practical ways we can bless our abusers without getting hurt again. We can:
-Stop bringing up the past and recounting all of the horrific things our abusers did. We can talk about our pain with a counselor or with God, and then let it go.
-Pray that God will bless our abusers with the fruit of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
-Send our abusers simple cards of encouragement with loving Scripture verses included.
-If our abusers are incarcerated, we can send them gift packages that are provided by the prison system. These include food items, books, and games.
Don't use love to control outcomes with your enemies.
We learned in our previous series, Removing the Roadblocks to Forgiveness, that we are the last person our abuser needs to point out how he should change. If his heart is ever open, he may accept correction from someone else. This is not a job that we should take on.
Remember, the only person we can ever change is ourselves. So when we send cards or gifts, our underlying purpose must be only to express love, not to force an outcome that we desire.
When we express love to people who hate us, curse us, and do all kinds of evil things to hurt us; there is no longer much room in our hearts for returning the evil. It's hard to hate someone while expressing kindness to them. This is why Jesus encourages us to love everyone. It's a great antidote for getting stuck in a place of bitterness and revenge.
Today's Challenge
Take some time to think about how you might safely express love to someone who has hurt you. Make a list of ideas and share it with a counselor or trusted friend. Ask them to help you sort out which ideas would be most helpful to your enemy without jeopardizing your safety. Take action to express love in one way to your enemy when the timing is right.
What does the Bible say about love for our enemies?
Luke 6:27-28 (NIV) reads: But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Jesus spoke these words to his disciples to make three points:
1) We should never treat others spitefully, even when they abuse us;
2) We should love everyone; and
3) We should go the extra mile to express love to our enemies.
How can we protect ourselves from further abuse?
When I used to read this passage, my warning signals began going off. I knew that if I expressed love in practical ways to the abusive people in my life, they would come after me like a pack of wolves on an injured sheep.
We often mistakenly interpret this message to mean that we must put ourselves into a relationship with people who abuse us. This is not what Jesus meant. We can love them from a distance, and Jesus gave us examples of how we might do that.
Show your enemies your love in appropriate ways.
For women who have been victims of domestic violence or adults who suffered childhood sexual abuse, expressing love to their abusers can be difficult. But it is not impossible.
First, let me say that there are ways to express love to abusers that I would not recommend. If your expression of love results in your abuser verbally abusing you, emotionally destroying you at every opportunity, physically harming you, or taking advantage of you sexually for their own gratification; you should immediately remove yourself and any children from such a situation. Every individual's emotional, physical, sexual, and spiritual safety must be considered first.
Many abusers do not have the skills to live within a relationship without hurting or using others. Therefore, we must be careful to protect ourselves when we express love to them. If we are kind to them, and in return we receive more abuse, it may be time to step back and wait. In some cases, our abusers may never respond appropriately, but at least we can say we have tried.
When we are in a safe place and free from further abuse, we can find ways to express love to that person who hurt us. From a human perspective, this can feel impossible. But if we pray and ask Jesus to help us love, we may be surprised by what happens.
At first, loving our enemies begins with a lessening of the hatred and anger we feel toward them. Over time, we let go of our need to control the situation or to seek revenge. Eventually, with God's help, we can get to the point where we actually wish only good for our abusers.
When we get to that point of recovery, we can find ways to do good for our abusers and to bless them. Here are some practical ways we can bless our abusers without getting hurt again. We can:
-Stop bringing up the past and recounting all of the horrific things our abusers did. We can talk about our pain with a counselor or with God, and then let it go.
-Pray that God will bless our abusers with the fruit of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
-Send our abusers simple cards of encouragement with loving Scripture verses included.
-If our abusers are incarcerated, we can send them gift packages that are provided by the prison system. These include food items, books, and games.
Don't use love to control outcomes with your enemies.
We learned in our previous series, Removing the Roadblocks to Forgiveness, that we are the last person our abuser needs to point out how he should change. If his heart is ever open, he may accept correction from someone else. This is not a job that we should take on.
Remember, the only person we can ever change is ourselves. So when we send cards or gifts, our underlying purpose must be only to express love, not to force an outcome that we desire.
When we express love to people who hate us, curse us, and do all kinds of evil things to hurt us; there is no longer much room in our hearts for returning the evil. It's hard to hate someone while expressing kindness to them. This is why Jesus encourages us to love everyone. It's a great antidote for getting stuck in a place of bitterness and revenge.
Today's Challenge
Take some time to think about how you might safely express love to someone who has hurt you. Make a list of ideas and share it with a counselor or trusted friend. Ask them to help you sort out which ideas would be most helpful to your enemy without jeopardizing your safety. Take action to express love in one way to your enemy when the timing is right.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
God Loves Us
This week, I would like to talk about love in my series for survivors of abuse and trauma, Thriving in God's Garden. My focus is not on the type of romantic love that we think about on Valentine's Day or Sweetest Day, but on the type that God feels for us. In Greek, this love is known as agape.
John 3:16 (NIV) tells us about this love: For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. Today, I would like you to think about how much God loves us.
I have a son who served in Iraq in the Marine Corps. The entire time that he was overseas, I begged God to protect him from bombs that fell from the sky and those that were strapped to suicide bombers. My prayers were entirely selfish, because all I wanted was for my son to return. I wasn't thinking about the love he felt for helpless people in a war-torn country.
God sent his son, Jesus, into the world to serve, too. But he didn't think about selfishly bringing him back home as quickly as possible. Instead, he allowed people to mock him, spit on him, beat him, and kill him.
Why didn't God stop this from happening? If he had prevented Jesus' crucifixion, all of us would still be subject to the punishment that we rightly deserve for our wrongs. By letting his son die, God showed how much he loves us. Because Christ's death on the cross--and his resurrection--saves us from the punishment that we deserve and allows us to live forever in a loving relationship with God.
My prayers for my son's safety during war were short-sighted and selfish. God's plan to save us through Jesus was very long-sighted and incredibly loving. Do you know what this love feels like? How have you experienced it?
Today's Challenge
Meditate on the words of John 3:16. How does it make you feel when you allow yourself to experience the magnitude of God's love for you?
John 3:16 (NIV) tells us about this love: For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. Today, I would like you to think about how much God loves us.
I have a son who served in Iraq in the Marine Corps. The entire time that he was overseas, I begged God to protect him from bombs that fell from the sky and those that were strapped to suicide bombers. My prayers were entirely selfish, because all I wanted was for my son to return. I wasn't thinking about the love he felt for helpless people in a war-torn country.
God sent his son, Jesus, into the world to serve, too. But he didn't think about selfishly bringing him back home as quickly as possible. Instead, he allowed people to mock him, spit on him, beat him, and kill him.
Why didn't God stop this from happening? If he had prevented Jesus' crucifixion, all of us would still be subject to the punishment that we rightly deserve for our wrongs. By letting his son die, God showed how much he loves us. Because Christ's death on the cross--and his resurrection--saves us from the punishment that we deserve and allows us to live forever in a loving relationship with God.
My prayers for my son's safety during war were short-sighted and selfish. God's plan to save us through Jesus was very long-sighted and incredibly loving. Do you know what this love feels like? How have you experienced it?
Today's Challenge
Meditate on the words of John 3:16. How does it make you feel when you allow yourself to experience the magnitude of God's love for you?
Monday, March 14, 2011
God Hates Sin
Today, we arrive at the tenth and final attribute of God as we continue with our series, Removing the Roadblocks to Forgiveness. Since God loves all that is good and right, it comes as no surprise that he hates everything that stands in opposition to his chacter.
God's opposition to evil is total and permanent.
The Bible reassures us that if we believe in Jesus, we will be rewarded with eternal life in heaven. But it also tells us that if we reject Jesus, we will experience God's wrath. John 3:36 (NIV) reads: Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God's wrath remains on him.
God's character does not allow him to turn a blind eye to evil. He must punish it, otherwise it would make a mockery of all that is good. If we understand this attribute of God, we can feel better as survivors of abuse, knowing that God opposes those who have hurt us. We are not alone in our suffering.
When we hate the injustice that has occurred in our lives, we are imitating God. He hates evil, injustice, and sin. Therefore, we no longer need to feel guilty about the rage we feel. It is natural if we are made in the likeness of God to become upset when someone sins against us.
Imagine what the world would be like if God didn't get all that upsest about child molesters hurting little children. Think about what life would look like if God either delighted in sin or was not troubled by it. I sure wouldn't want to worship that kind of God. He would be as warped as the child molesters and other criminals on our planet.
God is slow to act on his anger.
God delays the punishment that people deserve for the evil acts they commit, because he wants them to come to a point of repentance. Remember, we learned earlier that God is merciful, gracious, and patient. Psalm 103:8 (NIV) reads, The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. While God hates sin, he loves all people.
We must be patient with our enemies.
Like God, we know that it is part of our character to hate evil. But we must also remember that God still loves sinners, so we must do the same. Our enemies may not yet have come to a point of repenting for their actions. Therefore, it is up to us to remain patient while they work toward that point of change.
As at teacher, I frequently taught small children who couldn't seem to learn at the pace of the average kid. God has always blessed me with the ability to patiently work with people who are slow to pick up on new concepts.
I once had a student in kindergarten who could not grasp what we call 'sight words.' These simple words, such as and and the needed to be memorized in order to move on to more difficult reading tasks. Every other student had moved ahead to beginning readers, but this poor little boy couldn't get it.
One Monday morning, he came up to me as I was preparing to start our day. With confidence, he said, "Look what I can do." He opened a little book and read it perfectly from beginning to end.
I was flabbergasted and figured that someone at home must have been drilling him all weekend. I asked, "Who taught you how to read?"
Without hesitation, he smiled up at me and said, "You did."
That moment showed me that we never know how much of an impact we are having on someone. Even when our efforts seem to be fruitless, we never know what is going on in someone's heart or mind.
As I wait for my father to repent of his sins of molesting children and my mother to learn how to love as God does; I remember that little boy. I must be patient and kind to the people who have hurt me the most. Like my student, my parents may be the type of people who are slower to catch on to God's lessons for them.
I want to be there when someone asks the question of my parents, "Who taught you to love?" Hopefully, they'll give God the credit first and also mention that my kindness toward them helped along the way.
How do we find the patience to love slow learners?
I find it extremely difficult to love my parents. My mother, especially, is the type of person who pushes people away or turns on them when they try to express God's love to her. While my kindergarten student was eager to learn and please, my mother is more reluctant to do so.
I do not have the capacity to love either of my parents without God's help. Learning more about his character and how I am supposed to imitate him shows me what I must do. With ongoing prayer, I can tap into God's power to do the impossible. So can you.
Apply God's moral attributes to your own life so that you can forgive.
Over the past several weeks, we have looked at our own problems that have been caused by abuse or trauma: anger, fear, lack of trust, low self-esteem, guilt, revenge, pride, hatred, and depression. I call these the roadblocks to forgiveness, because as long as they remain in place, we cannot move forward.
Along the way, we have also learned what it means to become more like God. We have studied his goodness, love, mercy, grace, patience, holiness, peace, justice, jealousy, and wrath.
With a well-balanced view of God's character, we can better understand where we are out of balance. By understanding our own weaknesses and imitating God for strength, we can approach forgiveness with greater confidence. We now have the tools to remove the roadblocks so that we can continue on our journey toward forgiving.
Today's Challenge
In your journal, write about the anger or hatred you have felt against people who have hurt you with their evil actions. Ask God to give you the patience you need to pray for them while they work toward repenting for their sins. If it is safe to do so, think of ways to show your enemy God's love through acts of kindness.
God's opposition to evil is total and permanent.
The Bible reassures us that if we believe in Jesus, we will be rewarded with eternal life in heaven. But it also tells us that if we reject Jesus, we will experience God's wrath. John 3:36 (NIV) reads: Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God's wrath remains on him.
God's character does not allow him to turn a blind eye to evil. He must punish it, otherwise it would make a mockery of all that is good. If we understand this attribute of God, we can feel better as survivors of abuse, knowing that God opposes those who have hurt us. We are not alone in our suffering.
When we hate the injustice that has occurred in our lives, we are imitating God. He hates evil, injustice, and sin. Therefore, we no longer need to feel guilty about the rage we feel. It is natural if we are made in the likeness of God to become upset when someone sins against us.
Imagine what the world would be like if God didn't get all that upsest about child molesters hurting little children. Think about what life would look like if God either delighted in sin or was not troubled by it. I sure wouldn't want to worship that kind of God. He would be as warped as the child molesters and other criminals on our planet.
God is slow to act on his anger.
God delays the punishment that people deserve for the evil acts they commit, because he wants them to come to a point of repentance. Remember, we learned earlier that God is merciful, gracious, and patient. Psalm 103:8 (NIV) reads, The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. While God hates sin, he loves all people.
We must be patient with our enemies.
Like God, we know that it is part of our character to hate evil. But we must also remember that God still loves sinners, so we must do the same. Our enemies may not yet have come to a point of repenting for their actions. Therefore, it is up to us to remain patient while they work toward that point of change.
As at teacher, I frequently taught small children who couldn't seem to learn at the pace of the average kid. God has always blessed me with the ability to patiently work with people who are slow to pick up on new concepts.
I once had a student in kindergarten who could not grasp what we call 'sight words.' These simple words, such as and and the needed to be memorized in order to move on to more difficult reading tasks. Every other student had moved ahead to beginning readers, but this poor little boy couldn't get it.
One Monday morning, he came up to me as I was preparing to start our day. With confidence, he said, "Look what I can do." He opened a little book and read it perfectly from beginning to end.
I was flabbergasted and figured that someone at home must have been drilling him all weekend. I asked, "Who taught you how to read?"
Without hesitation, he smiled up at me and said, "You did."
That moment showed me that we never know how much of an impact we are having on someone. Even when our efforts seem to be fruitless, we never know what is going on in someone's heart or mind.
As I wait for my father to repent of his sins of molesting children and my mother to learn how to love as God does; I remember that little boy. I must be patient and kind to the people who have hurt me the most. Like my student, my parents may be the type of people who are slower to catch on to God's lessons for them.
I want to be there when someone asks the question of my parents, "Who taught you to love?" Hopefully, they'll give God the credit first and also mention that my kindness toward them helped along the way.
How do we find the patience to love slow learners?
I find it extremely difficult to love my parents. My mother, especially, is the type of person who pushes people away or turns on them when they try to express God's love to her. While my kindergarten student was eager to learn and please, my mother is more reluctant to do so.
I do not have the capacity to love either of my parents without God's help. Learning more about his character and how I am supposed to imitate him shows me what I must do. With ongoing prayer, I can tap into God's power to do the impossible. So can you.
Apply God's moral attributes to your own life so that you can forgive.
Over the past several weeks, we have looked at our own problems that have been caused by abuse or trauma: anger, fear, lack of trust, low self-esteem, guilt, revenge, pride, hatred, and depression. I call these the roadblocks to forgiveness, because as long as they remain in place, we cannot move forward.
Along the way, we have also learned what it means to become more like God. We have studied his goodness, love, mercy, grace, patience, holiness, peace, justice, jealousy, and wrath.
With a well-balanced view of God's character, we can better understand where we are out of balance. By understanding our own weaknesses and imitating God for strength, we can approach forgiveness with greater confidence. We now have the tools to remove the roadblocks so that we can continue on our journey toward forgiving.
Today's Challenge
In your journal, write about the anger or hatred you have felt against people who have hurt you with their evil actions. Ask God to give you the patience you need to pray for them while they work toward repenting for their sins. If it is safe to do so, think of ways to show your enemy God's love through acts of kindness.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
God Demands Justice
As we continue with our series, Removing the Roadblocks to Forgiveness, we learn about God's view of justice. In doing so, we strive to understand his character so that we can reach our ultimate goal of forgiving our enemies.
God is just.
God always does what is fair and right, because he himself sets the standard for what is just. Moses said of God, "He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he." (Deuteronomy 32:4 NIV)
A just God must punish sin.
Because God is just, he cannot tolerate sin. Therefore, people who practice evil acts must be punished. Sin never deserves reward; it is always wrong.
We were created in the likeness of God. As a result, we expect the world to be a place where justice reigns. This is why we cheer at the end of a movie or novel when the villain gets what's coming to him. The hero causes God's justice to prevail, so that we can believe all is right with the world.
God put judges in place to carry out his justice.
While we are all here on earth, God has devised a plan for judges to carry out his justice. They are responsible for determining punishments for those who break the law.
Sometimes, we are given the opportunity to provide judges with our input regarding our enemy's sentence. This occurred for our family recently as the judge prepared to set a jail term for my father. Members of the family were invited to write letters or speak in court about the impact of my father's crimes on their lives.
I believe there are pros and cons to this inclusion of the victim in the sentencing process. On the one hand, I believe it helps to restore a victim's personal power. If she feels that she has a say in the outcome of a criminal case, the control that the perpetrator stole from her is restored. I think that including the victim's family provides many people with the opportunity to express their grief over the losses that the crime created.
On the other hand, asking a victim to provide input for sentencing can create a new way for her to feel guilty. When the perpetrator goes to jail, the sexually abused victim may feel terrible if she has participated in the sentencing. She may even begin to worry that when the criminal is released, he will come after her to get even.
Justice brings healing to survivors of abuse or trauma.
If we have been the victim of sexual abuse or another crime, justice is an important part of our healing. When we are wounded, our spirits cry out to God for him to make things right. If our perpetrators are punished by the criminal justice system, we feel vindicated. Like the ending of a great novel, we feel satisfied that good has triumphed over evil.
While there is some sense of satisfaction in seeing our enemies pay for their crimes, there is also sadness attached to their punishment. God feels tremendous sadness when one of his children goes astray. If we are like God at all, we will feel both vindicated and sad when our perpetrator goes to jail.
I have been tracking my father's progress through the prison system since his sentencing a few weeks ago. One day, I discovered a mug shot of him online in his prison uniform. All of his life, Dad was very proud of the way he kept his hair. To my dismay, I discovered that his head had been shaved. The look on his face was so grim, I can only imagine how difficult his life has become behind bars. That picture brought me to tears.
Like most members of the family, I felt satisfied that my father was punished for his sex crimes against innocent children. But at the same time, it breaks my heart to think of my dad spending years in prison.
This situation has helped me to understand how God feels about us when we sin. His character demands that he punish evil, so he can't just ignore us when we commit evil acts. His heart breaks, just as mine does, to see someone he loves in jail.
God provided a substitute for our penalty.
John 3:16 (NIV) provides us with a way out of the punishment that we all deserve for our sins: For God so loved the world that he gave his one and ony Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
You see, God loves all of us--even sinners like my father who have been sent to jail. Out of the heartbreak that God feels over our sins, he came up with an alternative to sentencing us.
When God sent Jesus to die on the cross, he provided a substitute for our punishment. Even though we deserve to die for our sins, Christ already paid the price for us. All we have to do is acknowledge that Jesus is God's Son and then do our best to live according to God's laws.
If people refuse to believe that Jesus is God's Son, or believers refuse to conform to God's laws; they can expect to be punished for their sins. We learned previously that God is loving, merciful, gracious, and patient. It gives us all hope that he will give us as many second chances as we need to get our act together.
But make no mistake: our God who demands justice will not let us go on sinning indefinitely without disciplining us. Like any loving Father, he will figure out a punishment that will bring us back in line with what is right. If we fail to respond, our punishment may last into eternity.
Today's Challenge
Write down in your journal how you feel about justice. Do you believe that child molesters should be punished? How do you think God views criminals? Do they deserve God's mercy? Are they 'eligible' for forgiveness from God? from us?
God is just.
God always does what is fair and right, because he himself sets the standard for what is just. Moses said of God, "He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he." (Deuteronomy 32:4 NIV)
A just God must punish sin.
Because God is just, he cannot tolerate sin. Therefore, people who practice evil acts must be punished. Sin never deserves reward; it is always wrong.
We were created in the likeness of God. As a result, we expect the world to be a place where justice reigns. This is why we cheer at the end of a movie or novel when the villain gets what's coming to him. The hero causes God's justice to prevail, so that we can believe all is right with the world.
God put judges in place to carry out his justice.
While we are all here on earth, God has devised a plan for judges to carry out his justice. They are responsible for determining punishments for those who break the law.
Sometimes, we are given the opportunity to provide judges with our input regarding our enemy's sentence. This occurred for our family recently as the judge prepared to set a jail term for my father. Members of the family were invited to write letters or speak in court about the impact of my father's crimes on their lives.
I believe there are pros and cons to this inclusion of the victim in the sentencing process. On the one hand, I believe it helps to restore a victim's personal power. If she feels that she has a say in the outcome of a criminal case, the control that the perpetrator stole from her is restored. I think that including the victim's family provides many people with the opportunity to express their grief over the losses that the crime created.
On the other hand, asking a victim to provide input for sentencing can create a new way for her to feel guilty. When the perpetrator goes to jail, the sexually abused victim may feel terrible if she has participated in the sentencing. She may even begin to worry that when the criminal is released, he will come after her to get even.
Justice brings healing to survivors of abuse or trauma.
If we have been the victim of sexual abuse or another crime, justice is an important part of our healing. When we are wounded, our spirits cry out to God for him to make things right. If our perpetrators are punished by the criminal justice system, we feel vindicated. Like the ending of a great novel, we feel satisfied that good has triumphed over evil.
While there is some sense of satisfaction in seeing our enemies pay for their crimes, there is also sadness attached to their punishment. God feels tremendous sadness when one of his children goes astray. If we are like God at all, we will feel both vindicated and sad when our perpetrator goes to jail.
I have been tracking my father's progress through the prison system since his sentencing a few weeks ago. One day, I discovered a mug shot of him online in his prison uniform. All of his life, Dad was very proud of the way he kept his hair. To my dismay, I discovered that his head had been shaved. The look on his face was so grim, I can only imagine how difficult his life has become behind bars. That picture brought me to tears.
Like most members of the family, I felt satisfied that my father was punished for his sex crimes against innocent children. But at the same time, it breaks my heart to think of my dad spending years in prison.
This situation has helped me to understand how God feels about us when we sin. His character demands that he punish evil, so he can't just ignore us when we commit evil acts. His heart breaks, just as mine does, to see someone he loves in jail.
God provided a substitute for our penalty.
John 3:16 (NIV) provides us with a way out of the punishment that we all deserve for our sins: For God so loved the world that he gave his one and ony Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
You see, God loves all of us--even sinners like my father who have been sent to jail. Out of the heartbreak that God feels over our sins, he came up with an alternative to sentencing us.
When God sent Jesus to die on the cross, he provided a substitute for our punishment. Even though we deserve to die for our sins, Christ already paid the price for us. All we have to do is acknowledge that Jesus is God's Son and then do our best to live according to God's laws.
If people refuse to believe that Jesus is God's Son, or believers refuse to conform to God's laws; they can expect to be punished for their sins. We learned previously that God is loving, merciful, gracious, and patient. It gives us all hope that he will give us as many second chances as we need to get our act together.
But make no mistake: our God who demands justice will not let us go on sinning indefinitely without disciplining us. Like any loving Father, he will figure out a punishment that will bring us back in line with what is right. If we fail to respond, our punishment may last into eternity.
Today's Challenge
Write down in your journal how you feel about justice. Do you believe that child molesters should be punished? How do you think God views criminals? Do they deserve God's mercy? Are they 'eligible' for forgiveness from God? from us?
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Love One Another
As we continue with our series, Removing the Roadblocks to Forgiveness, we are learning about God's moral attributes that he shares with us. These include: goodness, love, mercy, grace, patience, holiness, peace, justice, protection, and hate for sin. Yesterday, we learned about God's goodness. Today, we look into God's love.
God's love means that God gives eternally of himself to others.
We need to understand that God's love is always given for the benefit of others. It is part of his nature, and his love brings about blessings for others.
God's love existed before the world was created, it is here now, and it will continue into eternity. Jesus prayed to God, "Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world." (John 17:24 NIV)
God is himself love defined.
When we think of love, we usually come up with visions of roses, Valentine's Day cards, weddings, and other symbols of romantic feelings between men and women. This is a special type of love known in Greek as eros, which God designed for erotic attraction between the sexes.
There are two other types of love that we can find in Greek translations of the Bible. Agape is the highest and purest kind of love. It is divine love and is used to express the essential nature of God. Phileo is distinguished as brotherly love. This is seen in the naming of the city of Philadelphia, which means "the city of brotherly love."
Webster's Dictionary defines love as: unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another, as (1) the fatherly concern of God for humankind (agape); (2) brotherly concern for others (phileo); and (3) a person's adoration of God (also phileo).
We can find a very simple definition of what it means to love in I John 4:7 (NIV): Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit love one another.
We know from references in Scripture that God the Father and God the Son love one another. Even though there are no specific verses indicating that they also love the Spirit, it is implied.
When Jesus was baptized in the Jordan, God's voice came from heaven to say, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased." (Matthew 3:17 NIV) Jesus said to his disciples, "But the world must learn that I love the Father and that I do exactly what my Father has commanded me." (John 14:31 NIV)
This pure love between the Father, Son, and Spirit makes heaven a joyful place, because each person seeks to bring happiness to the other two. When we learn to love one another as the persons of the Trinity do, we find joy and happiness, too.
God always loves us, in spite of our sinful nature.
Unlike our romantic (eros) love that may come and go for others as we seek our mates, God's love is eternal and unconditional. In other words, he loves us forever, no matter how nicely or badly we behave.
The apostle Paul wrote, But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8 NIV) Paul also wrote, For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16 NIV)
God commands us to love him and others, because it brings him joy.
We are commanded to love God first and foremost above all other people or things. In Matthew 22:37-39 (NIV) Jesus tells us, "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"
When we love our neighbors, it actually brings joy to God's heart. Isaiah told God's people, "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." (Zeph. 3:17 NIV)
By imitating God's love, we can love other believers.
When we are filled with God's love, it enables us to love other believers. The apostle John wrote, "Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." (I John 4:11 NIV)
When we love others, the rest of the world recognizes us for this God-like attribute. Jesus explained this when he said, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:3435 NIV)
God gives us his love to enable us to love our enemies.
If we want to forgive someone who has hurt us as deeply as abusers do, we must learn to tap into God's love. Without it, we will find it impossible to forgive.
Jesus said, "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you..." (Matthew 5:43-44 NIV)
Remember, loving our enemies as God loves us means that we feel loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another. It can be extremely difficult for us, if not impossible, to feel any concern for a child molester. How can we pray for the good of someone who has stolen our innocence, our sense of trust in mankind, and our very souls?
The answer is that we can't love or forgive if we limit ourselves to the love we have as human beings...to phileo love. But when we tap into God's agape love, we can do the impossible. Yes, we can even find a way to love our enemies.
Learning to love takes time.
Loving an enemy is not an easy task, nor does it happen overnight. It is very difficult at this time for my family or me to feel loyal and benevolent concern for our mother's good. After she abused us all for fifty years and then refused to help anyone other than my father through the recent hearing for his criminal conduct, no one in the family feels called to reach out to her.
Sometimes, stepping back from our enemy doesn't feel like the most loving thing to do. But we have learned by experience that trying to help our mother usually comes back to sting us with further verbal abuse. At this point, we believe it is safest for us to pray for her from a distance, with the hope that she will eventually experience God's love as we do and learn how to express it to others.
Today's Challenge
In your journal, write down the differences between the love you feel for God, for your spouse, and for your neighbors. Think about your enemy and write down how much love you feel for him. Ask God to fill you with his pure love so that you can eventually find the brotherly love you need to forgive.
God's love means that God gives eternally of himself to others.
We need to understand that God's love is always given for the benefit of others. It is part of his nature, and his love brings about blessings for others.
God's love existed before the world was created, it is here now, and it will continue into eternity. Jesus prayed to God, "Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world." (John 17:24 NIV)
God is himself love defined.
When we think of love, we usually come up with visions of roses, Valentine's Day cards, weddings, and other symbols of romantic feelings between men and women. This is a special type of love known in Greek as eros, which God designed for erotic attraction between the sexes.
There are two other types of love that we can find in Greek translations of the Bible. Agape is the highest and purest kind of love. It is divine love and is used to express the essential nature of God. Phileo is distinguished as brotherly love. This is seen in the naming of the city of Philadelphia, which means "the city of brotherly love."
Webster's Dictionary defines love as: unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another, as (1) the fatherly concern of God for humankind (agape); (2) brotherly concern for others (phileo); and (3) a person's adoration of God (also phileo).
We can find a very simple definition of what it means to love in I John 4:7 (NIV): Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit love one another.
We know from references in Scripture that God the Father and God the Son love one another. Even though there are no specific verses indicating that they also love the Spirit, it is implied.
When Jesus was baptized in the Jordan, God's voice came from heaven to say, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased." (Matthew 3:17 NIV) Jesus said to his disciples, "But the world must learn that I love the Father and that I do exactly what my Father has commanded me." (John 14:31 NIV)
This pure love between the Father, Son, and Spirit makes heaven a joyful place, because each person seeks to bring happiness to the other two. When we learn to love one another as the persons of the Trinity do, we find joy and happiness, too.
God always loves us, in spite of our sinful nature.
Unlike our romantic (eros) love that may come and go for others as we seek our mates, God's love is eternal and unconditional. In other words, he loves us forever, no matter how nicely or badly we behave.
The apostle Paul wrote, But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8 NIV) Paul also wrote, For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16 NIV)
God commands us to love him and others, because it brings him joy.
We are commanded to love God first and foremost above all other people or things. In Matthew 22:37-39 (NIV) Jesus tells us, "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"
When we love our neighbors, it actually brings joy to God's heart. Isaiah told God's people, "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." (Zeph. 3:17 NIV)
By imitating God's love, we can love other believers.
When we are filled with God's love, it enables us to love other believers. The apostle John wrote, "Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." (I John 4:11 NIV)
When we love others, the rest of the world recognizes us for this God-like attribute. Jesus explained this when he said, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:3435 NIV)
God gives us his love to enable us to love our enemies.
If we want to forgive someone who has hurt us as deeply as abusers do, we must learn to tap into God's love. Without it, we will find it impossible to forgive.
Jesus said, "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you..." (Matthew 5:43-44 NIV)
Remember, loving our enemies as God loves us means that we feel loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another. It can be extremely difficult for us, if not impossible, to feel any concern for a child molester. How can we pray for the good of someone who has stolen our innocence, our sense of trust in mankind, and our very souls?
The answer is that we can't love or forgive if we limit ourselves to the love we have as human beings...to phileo love. But when we tap into God's agape love, we can do the impossible. Yes, we can even find a way to love our enemies.
Learning to love takes time.
Loving an enemy is not an easy task, nor does it happen overnight. It is very difficult at this time for my family or me to feel loyal and benevolent concern for our mother's good. After she abused us all for fifty years and then refused to help anyone other than my father through the recent hearing for his criminal conduct, no one in the family feels called to reach out to her.
Sometimes, stepping back from our enemy doesn't feel like the most loving thing to do. But we have learned by experience that trying to help our mother usually comes back to sting us with further verbal abuse. At this point, we believe it is safest for us to pray for her from a distance, with the hope that she will eventually experience God's love as we do and learn how to express it to others.
Today's Challenge
In your journal, write down the differences between the love you feel for God, for your spouse, and for your neighbors. Think about your enemy and write down how much love you feel for him. Ask God to fill you with his pure love so that you can eventually find the brotherly love you need to forgive.
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