We continue with my series, Confident in God's Hands, with a look at our reactions to challenges in life. If we want to become more confident, we need to reconsider how we respond to chaos.
A fireman's life
A friend of mine is a fireman, and he leads a much different life from the rest of us. At times, it is difficult to connect with him, because he's on duty at the fire station. He keeps busy there, maintaining the equipment and training for emergencies.
When the buzzer sounds at the station, my friend rushes off with his team to fires, car accidents, floods, downed trees, and many other emergencies. He doesn't mind doing the maintenance work, but he lives for the rush he feels whenever that alarm goes off.
Are you a chaos junkie?
If we've been victims of abuse or trauma, we are very much like my friend, the fireman. The constant turmoil of our past causes us to crave more of the same. Even though we know it's not healthy for us to live like this, we unwittingly do whatever it takes to replicate the crisis-centered life we once knew.
We may leave an abusive marriage and then connect with another partner who is equally unkind to us. Or we may attempt to create a lifestyle full of 'adventure,' which everyone else can clearly see is a thin veil for chaos.
None of us does this intentionally. It's just part of the way we're wired. Abuse or trauma has programmed our brains to look for more emergencies, just as my fireman friend does. We feel antsy unless we're racing from one disaster to another.
If we do find our way out of an abusive situation or we survive something as traumatic as combat, we may look for other ways to create emotional chaos. We choose jobs that feel similar to our abusive or traumatic past, such as that of fireman, emergency room doctor, soldier, or inner-city social worker.
If our jobs don't give us the rush we're seeking, we volunteer our services in places where there is an element of danger. If we can't find the thrill we seek through relationships, work or volunteerism, we constantly rescue people who don't have the sense to run from fire. Whatever it takes, we find a way to add some chaos back into our days.
God doesn't want us playing with fire.
What does God think about our penchant for playing with fire? The prophet, Isaiah, told the nation of Israel, Who out there fears God, actually listens to the voice of his servant? For anyone out there who doesn't know where you're going, anyone groping in the dark, Here's what: Trust in God. Lean on your God! But if all you're after is making trouble, playing with fire, Go ahead and see where it gets you. Set your fires, stir people up, blow on the flames, But don't expect me to just stand there and watch. I'll hold your feet to those flames. (Isaiah 50:10 MSG)
For the past year, I have been writing about the importance of discovering God's plan for our lives and following it. Sometimes, I feel as frustrated as Isaiah when I meet people who have no clue why they're on earth. I suspect that many of them are so frazzled from running around and putting out fires that they can't think straight. I also suspect that quite a few of them are setting the fires in the first place.
Until we step back from the chaos of our lives and identify the fires, we'll be forever compelled to chase down the smoke. God has beautiful plans for our future, but we've got to quit the fire department first.
Today's Challenge
Are you chasing fires? Or are you actually setting them? Take some time to step back and assess what you're doing with your life. If you're a chaos junkie, find a professional counselor who can help you to identify how you're wasting your time with fires and then get on with the plans God has for your future.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
What Are You Tolerating?
We are learning how to become more confident during my series, Confident in God's Hands. Today, I'd like to consider how some things which we're tolerating may be holding us back from achieving our dreams.
The Billy Goat
When Joe and I decided to move to the country, we found a large lot at a lake. All that grass would require a much larger mower than our little push model, so we bought a commercial walk-behind. The Billy Goat was supposed to cut over an acre in an hour.
Joe quickly discovered that "Billy" was as disagreeable and stubborn as most live goats. He was headstrong and took off running when Joe was unprepared for the jolt that nearly yanked him off his feet. Billy sometimes ate things he wasn't supposed to, and over time, he only chewed up half of the grass that Joe wanted him to eat.
It was a love/hate relationship from the outset. Joe loved the idea of having a powerful mower with a wide cutting deck, but he hated Billy's performance.
I suggested selling Billy and replacing him with something better, but Joe insisted on trying harder to make Billy tow the line. Why? He doubted that we could sell Billy for enough money to pay for a riding mower, which he would have preferred.
After two years, Billy finally did himself in. He refused to eat the grass at all. So, I put an ad online to sell him, and we went in search of a new mower. Within 24 hours, Billy found a new home with a man whom I am sure will make him behave. We found a refurbished riding mower, and it cost exactly the same amount of money that we received for selling Billy.
Joe's fear that we would lose money prevented him from enjoying what he really wanted. When he finally let go of that old way of thinking, God immediately blessed him with something better. Joe was whooping like a cowboy yesterday, bumping over the yard at breakneck speeds. The lawn looked better than it ever has, and Joe had fun cutting it in half the time.
Out with the old, in with the new
Paul instructed the early Christians in Corinth, Get rid of the old yeast, so that you may be a new unleavened batch. (1 Corinthians 5:7 NIV) He spoke about bread-baking, because at that time, every woman baked her own.
He knew that his listeners would understand his underlying meaning about becoming a new person through belief in Jesus. They could see that old yeast produces a very poor loaf of bread. And old ways of thinking would produce a life as dull and flat as bread made with outdated yeast.
Notice that Paul didn't instruct his audience to buy more yeast. No, he asked his listeners to become something completely different... unleavened bread made without yeast. Paul wanted the Christians at Corinth to understand the importance of getting rid of old habits, relationships, and ideas to make room for Jesus' way of thinking.
Are you tolerating a Billy Goat?
There are many things in life that may annoy us, as Billy did. When we cling to something that isn't working for us, we create a continuous charge of negative energy around ourselves. We also prevent God from blessing us with something that makes us feel contented and peaceful.
We must let go of the things that we're merely tolerating to make room for God's blessings. When we do, we take one step closer to fulfilling our dreams. That first step, taken in faith, will boost our trust in God and our confidence in ourselves.
Today's Challenge
What are you clinging to that you need to release? A destructive relationship? A broken-down car? A beligerent pet? A dead-end job? Take some time today to think about how you need to change your thinking so that you can release annoyances that you're tolerating.
The Billy Goat
When Joe and I decided to move to the country, we found a large lot at a lake. All that grass would require a much larger mower than our little push model, so we bought a commercial walk-behind. The Billy Goat was supposed to cut over an acre in an hour.
Joe quickly discovered that "Billy" was as disagreeable and stubborn as most live goats. He was headstrong and took off running when Joe was unprepared for the jolt that nearly yanked him off his feet. Billy sometimes ate things he wasn't supposed to, and over time, he only chewed up half of the grass that Joe wanted him to eat.
It was a love/hate relationship from the outset. Joe loved the idea of having a powerful mower with a wide cutting deck, but he hated Billy's performance.
I suggested selling Billy and replacing him with something better, but Joe insisted on trying harder to make Billy tow the line. Why? He doubted that we could sell Billy for enough money to pay for a riding mower, which he would have preferred.
After two years, Billy finally did himself in. He refused to eat the grass at all. So, I put an ad online to sell him, and we went in search of a new mower. Within 24 hours, Billy found a new home with a man whom I am sure will make him behave. We found a refurbished riding mower, and it cost exactly the same amount of money that we received for selling Billy.
Joe's fear that we would lose money prevented him from enjoying what he really wanted. When he finally let go of that old way of thinking, God immediately blessed him with something better. Joe was whooping like a cowboy yesterday, bumping over the yard at breakneck speeds. The lawn looked better than it ever has, and Joe had fun cutting it in half the time.
Out with the old, in with the new
Paul instructed the early Christians in Corinth, Get rid of the old yeast, so that you may be a new unleavened batch. (1 Corinthians 5:7 NIV) He spoke about bread-baking, because at that time, every woman baked her own.
He knew that his listeners would understand his underlying meaning about becoming a new person through belief in Jesus. They could see that old yeast produces a very poor loaf of bread. And old ways of thinking would produce a life as dull and flat as bread made with outdated yeast.
Notice that Paul didn't instruct his audience to buy more yeast. No, he asked his listeners to become something completely different... unleavened bread made without yeast. Paul wanted the Christians at Corinth to understand the importance of getting rid of old habits, relationships, and ideas to make room for Jesus' way of thinking.
Are you tolerating a Billy Goat?
There are many things in life that may annoy us, as Billy did. When we cling to something that isn't working for us, we create a continuous charge of negative energy around ourselves. We also prevent God from blessing us with something that makes us feel contented and peaceful.
We must let go of the things that we're merely tolerating to make room for God's blessings. When we do, we take one step closer to fulfilling our dreams. That first step, taken in faith, will boost our trust in God and our confidence in ourselves.
Today's Challenge
What are you clinging to that you need to release? A destructive relationship? A broken-down car? A beligerent pet? A dead-end job? Take some time today to think about how you need to change your thinking so that you can release annoyances that you're tolerating.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Turn Off the Auto Pilot
We continue this week with my series, Confident in God's Hands. Through daily posts, I hope to encourage readers to restore the confidence that was lost through abuse or trauma.
Auto Pilot is supposed to be short-term.
Most jets are designed to include an auto pilot setting, which gives the pilot an opportunity to get out of his seat, walk to the bathroom, eat a meal, and stretch. By simply programming the aircraft to follow a specified course, he can momentarily forget about his duties.
Notice that I said he could momentarily set aside his duties. If the man set the auto pilot and then sat down in first class to sleep eight hours, he and the passengers could be in serious danger. They might overshoot their destination, run out of fuel, or collide with other aircraft.
Are we stuck on auto pilot?
If we have been abused for a very long time or if we've suffered a significant trauma, we tend to set our lives on auto pilot. Why? If our days have been unpredictable, the more stable we can make them, the better we feel.
While stability is a good thing, the problem with this auto pilot setting is that it can hurt us if we allow ourselves to stay on it for too long. We may feel safe by limiting ourselves to the confines of our homes, keeping to ourselves while out in public, and controlling the outcomes of most situations. However, we will never become confident as long as we stay on auto pilot.
God wants us to be bold.
Proverbs 28:1 (MSG) reads ...the righteous are as bold as a lion. God knows that we've been hurt. He was there during the abuse or trauma and in the aftermath of it. He offers us comfort for our pain, but eventually, he wants us to dry our eyes and get back to the business of living. He wants us to be bold, even after we've been hurt.
Like a pilot who's had a little break, there comes a time when we must return to our places. God put us here to carry out a mission, and we can't expect to fulfill his goals for us if we've set our lives on auto pilot. When we return to our rightful places, we discover that new challenges and successes give us opportunities to restore confidence in ourselves.
Today's Challenge
Is your life on auto pilot? Are you going to the same job, hanging out with the same old friends, and bypassing opportunities because it's safer than taking risks? Take a hard look at what you're doing and ask yourself if it's time to take a bold step into the unknown.
Auto Pilot is supposed to be short-term.
Most jets are designed to include an auto pilot setting, which gives the pilot an opportunity to get out of his seat, walk to the bathroom, eat a meal, and stretch. By simply programming the aircraft to follow a specified course, he can momentarily forget about his duties.
Notice that I said he could momentarily set aside his duties. If the man set the auto pilot and then sat down in first class to sleep eight hours, he and the passengers could be in serious danger. They might overshoot their destination, run out of fuel, or collide with other aircraft.
Are we stuck on auto pilot?
If we have been abused for a very long time or if we've suffered a significant trauma, we tend to set our lives on auto pilot. Why? If our days have been unpredictable, the more stable we can make them, the better we feel.
While stability is a good thing, the problem with this auto pilot setting is that it can hurt us if we allow ourselves to stay on it for too long. We may feel safe by limiting ourselves to the confines of our homes, keeping to ourselves while out in public, and controlling the outcomes of most situations. However, we will never become confident as long as we stay on auto pilot.
God wants us to be bold.
Proverbs 28:1 (MSG) reads ...the righteous are as bold as a lion. God knows that we've been hurt. He was there during the abuse or trauma and in the aftermath of it. He offers us comfort for our pain, but eventually, he wants us to dry our eyes and get back to the business of living. He wants us to be bold, even after we've been hurt.
Like a pilot who's had a little break, there comes a time when we must return to our places. God put us here to carry out a mission, and we can't expect to fulfill his goals for us if we've set our lives on auto pilot. When we return to our rightful places, we discover that new challenges and successes give us opportunities to restore confidence in ourselves.
Today's Challenge
Is your life on auto pilot? Are you going to the same job, hanging out with the same old friends, and bypassing opportunities because it's safer than taking risks? Take a hard look at what you're doing and ask yourself if it's time to take a bold step into the unknown.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Figure Out What Matters to You
We are learning how to be more confident as survivors of abuse or trauma in my series, Confident in God's Hands. Today, we think about what matters the most to us so that we can build on it to create more courage.
The Pine Beetle
People who raise trees for a living start having anxiety attacks when they hear pine beetle. This wood-boring insect can destroy acres of trees within a very short period of time, wiping out decades of growth and profits.
I know a man who owns thousands of acres of pine trees. If you were to ask him what he felt passionate about, he would probably tell you the complete eradication of pine beetles from the planet.
If I were to ask you how you felt about pine beetles, most of you would shrug and say that you didn't even know what they were. You see, pine beetles don't matter to you, because they have never impacted your life negatively or hurt anyone that you know.
The apostle Paul found something that mattered.
In order to find a way to be courageous in this world, we must discover something that matters to us. Then, we have to build our days, our careers, our legacies around that thing that we can passionately talk about and try to change.
The apostle Paul started out as a Jewish zealot, arresting and killing every Christian he could find. He had found something that mattered to him, and he wasn't going to quit until he had eradicated all Christans, as timber men wish to eradicate pine beetles.
Paul felt really confident about what he was doing, but his efforts were outside of God's plans. So, Jesus met Paul along the road to Damascus and struck him blind.
Bewildered and terrified, Paul stumbled into town, trying to figure out where he had gone wrong. Soon after, God restored his sight, and you can bet that Paul had a new passion as a result of his life-altering experience. He became as zealous for everyone to become Christians as he had been bent on destroying them. (See Acts 26)
Got passion?
I meet a lot of people whom I ask what matters to them. They shrug, as most people might if I asked them to go on a crusade against the pine beetle. They have no passion for living, for changing the world, or for leaving behind a legacy. They seem like sleepwalkers to me, and I wonder how long it will take before they wake up.
If your child were kidnapped by a child molester, would you simply sit back and shrug your shoulders? No! You would develop passion in an instant to hunt down and bring to justice the person who took away your life's treasure.
Our pain creates passion.
If I had to present a seminar about eradicating pine beetles, it would be a boring 90-minute lecture. I don't have a fire in my belly about the subject, and I don't have any personal experience with pest control.
But ask me how childhood sexual abuse, domestic violence, or PTSD affects survivors, and I could talk for days on end without tiring. My personal pain created by abuse has created a passion that will never end.
I believe that our greatest passion stems from our greatest hurt. This is why my life's work has revolved around helping women and children who have been victims of abuse. I don't want anyone else to suffer as long as I did in silence, shame, and confusion.
I want to leave a legacy that will be remembered for centuries after I'm dead. I hope that survivors of abuse and trauma will associate my name with encouragement and love. We must find some way to turn our pain into something worthwhile, otherwise, we live out our lives as sleepwalkers, oblivious to the opportunities to help others and, in the process, to develop greater confidence in ourselves.
Today's Challenge
What matters to you? Are you passionate about spaying/neutering cats? Protecting the great horned owl? Helping underprivileged kids get into college? Comforting widows? Adopting orphans? Identify something that kindles a passion in you today and write down, My passion is to__________.
The Pine Beetle
People who raise trees for a living start having anxiety attacks when they hear pine beetle. This wood-boring insect can destroy acres of trees within a very short period of time, wiping out decades of growth and profits.
I know a man who owns thousands of acres of pine trees. If you were to ask him what he felt passionate about, he would probably tell you the complete eradication of pine beetles from the planet.
If I were to ask you how you felt about pine beetles, most of you would shrug and say that you didn't even know what they were. You see, pine beetles don't matter to you, because they have never impacted your life negatively or hurt anyone that you know.
The apostle Paul found something that mattered.
In order to find a way to be courageous in this world, we must discover something that matters to us. Then, we have to build our days, our careers, our legacies around that thing that we can passionately talk about and try to change.
The apostle Paul started out as a Jewish zealot, arresting and killing every Christian he could find. He had found something that mattered to him, and he wasn't going to quit until he had eradicated all Christans, as timber men wish to eradicate pine beetles.
Paul felt really confident about what he was doing, but his efforts were outside of God's plans. So, Jesus met Paul along the road to Damascus and struck him blind.
Bewildered and terrified, Paul stumbled into town, trying to figure out where he had gone wrong. Soon after, God restored his sight, and you can bet that Paul had a new passion as a result of his life-altering experience. He became as zealous for everyone to become Christians as he had been bent on destroying them. (See Acts 26)
Got passion?
I meet a lot of people whom I ask what matters to them. They shrug, as most people might if I asked them to go on a crusade against the pine beetle. They have no passion for living, for changing the world, or for leaving behind a legacy. They seem like sleepwalkers to me, and I wonder how long it will take before they wake up.
If your child were kidnapped by a child molester, would you simply sit back and shrug your shoulders? No! You would develop passion in an instant to hunt down and bring to justice the person who took away your life's treasure.
Our pain creates passion.
If I had to present a seminar about eradicating pine beetles, it would be a boring 90-minute lecture. I don't have a fire in my belly about the subject, and I don't have any personal experience with pest control.
But ask me how childhood sexual abuse, domestic violence, or PTSD affects survivors, and I could talk for days on end without tiring. My personal pain created by abuse has created a passion that will never end.
I believe that our greatest passion stems from our greatest hurt. This is why my life's work has revolved around helping women and children who have been victims of abuse. I don't want anyone else to suffer as long as I did in silence, shame, and confusion.
I want to leave a legacy that will be remembered for centuries after I'm dead. I hope that survivors of abuse and trauma will associate my name with encouragement and love. We must find some way to turn our pain into something worthwhile, otherwise, we live out our lives as sleepwalkers, oblivious to the opportunities to help others and, in the process, to develop greater confidence in ourselves.
Today's Challenge
What matters to you? Are you passionate about spaying/neutering cats? Protecting the great horned owl? Helping underprivileged kids get into college? Comforting widows? Adopting orphans? Identify something that kindles a passion in you today and write down, My passion is to__________.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Imagine Your Future
My series, Confident in God's Garden, continues with some thoughts about looking ahead at the future. We've learned that, as survivors of abuse or trauma, we can be some of the most fearful people on the planet.
Through this series, we've taken some steps to change our outward appearance so that we feel a little more courageous...better equipped for the battles ahead. If we truly want to become bolder, though, we must change what's on the inside, too.
Imagine a fairy tale ending.
Fairy tales have always been popular, because they give readers hope. The author typically introduces a young girl, trapped in an unhappy childhood, and creates a marvelous future for her. When she achieves her dreams, the reader feels satisfied and uplifted.
Snow White danced around, singing Someday My Prince Will Come. She understood the importance of keeping her eyes on what could be, not what was. Hope gave her the courage to keep on moving through life, dreaming of a better future. Eventually, her dreams came true with the arrival of her prince.
We must imagine ourselves in the future, confident, happy, and satisfied. Getting there won't be easy, but if we think about where we want to end up, we can figure out what we need along the way.
What are God's dreams for our future?
God's got a definite plan for our future with him in heaven. Way back when he created the world, our final destinies were already in his plans. To get us to our end destination, he has orchestrated our arrival on earth at exactly the right time. He placed us in our families--even the most dysfunctional ones--where we would learn the skills that we would need for our future lives.
God knew that we would mess things up and get sidetracked along the way. He realized that we would need tremendous hope to keep on going in this challenging world. That's why he sent Jesus to die on a cross to keep sin from separating us from him. Because of God's great love for us, our futures are clearly defined.
God sent Jeremiah, a prophet, to give the Israelites an encouraging message. This same promise still holds true for us and for our future. I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. (Jeremiah 29:11b MSG)
Notice that the final phrase says that God has plans to give us the future that we hope for. So many Christians sit back and say that they're waiting on God to tell them what to do. I think they're wasting a lot of precious time, because they fail to engage their minds to discover their purpose for being here.
God has put desires into our hearts for a reason. Those desires are simply his blueprint for our lives. Anything good that we can imagine, God put there in the first place. Our dreams take us where God wants us to go when we step out with courage and put them into action.
Today's Challenge
Imagine your future self as confident, happy, and satisfied. Write down today what you are doing in your dream. Snow White's specific vision was for a prince to come into her life. What's yours? If you're drawing a blank, pray for God's dreams for your future to become clear to you.
Through this series, we've taken some steps to change our outward appearance so that we feel a little more courageous...better equipped for the battles ahead. If we truly want to become bolder, though, we must change what's on the inside, too.
Imagine a fairy tale ending.
Fairy tales have always been popular, because they give readers hope. The author typically introduces a young girl, trapped in an unhappy childhood, and creates a marvelous future for her. When she achieves her dreams, the reader feels satisfied and uplifted.
Snow White danced around, singing Someday My Prince Will Come. She understood the importance of keeping her eyes on what could be, not what was. Hope gave her the courage to keep on moving through life, dreaming of a better future. Eventually, her dreams came true with the arrival of her prince.
We must imagine ourselves in the future, confident, happy, and satisfied. Getting there won't be easy, but if we think about where we want to end up, we can figure out what we need along the way.
What are God's dreams for our future?
God's got a definite plan for our future with him in heaven. Way back when he created the world, our final destinies were already in his plans. To get us to our end destination, he has orchestrated our arrival on earth at exactly the right time. He placed us in our families--even the most dysfunctional ones--where we would learn the skills that we would need for our future lives.
God knew that we would mess things up and get sidetracked along the way. He realized that we would need tremendous hope to keep on going in this challenging world. That's why he sent Jesus to die on a cross to keep sin from separating us from him. Because of God's great love for us, our futures are clearly defined.
God sent Jeremiah, a prophet, to give the Israelites an encouraging message. This same promise still holds true for us and for our future. I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. (Jeremiah 29:11b MSG)
Notice that the final phrase says that God has plans to give us the future that we hope for. So many Christians sit back and say that they're waiting on God to tell them what to do. I think they're wasting a lot of precious time, because they fail to engage their minds to discover their purpose for being here.
God has put desires into our hearts for a reason. Those desires are simply his blueprint for our lives. Anything good that we can imagine, God put there in the first place. Our dreams take us where God wants us to go when we step out with courage and put them into action.
Today's Challenge
Imagine your future self as confident, happy, and satisfied. Write down today what you are doing in your dream. Snow White's specific vision was for a prince to come into her life. What's yours? If you're drawing a blank, pray for God's dreams for your future to become clear to you.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Arrive Early for Greater Confidence
As survivors of abuse and trauma, we frequently suffer from low self-esteem. We lack the confidence to move forward with our lives, so I've been writing about how we can become more courageous through my series, Confident in God's Hands.
The 10 Minute Rule
Consider how you feel when you find yourself running behind schedule. You look at your watch every few seconds as you crawl through heavy traffic on the way to work. You envision your boss glaring at you when you sneak in late. Every day, you seem to run about 10 minutes behind, no matter how hard you try to arrive on time.
I have a friend who never seemed to suffer from this frustration of running the race against the clock. Whenever we met, he was always there waiting for me, looking unruffled and relaxed. What was his secret?
He told me about The 10-Minute Rule. No matter where he planned to go or who he intended to meet, he always arrived 10 minutes ahead of schedule.
When I asked him how he managed to succeed at this, he said that he did time studies to figure out how long it took to get from his house to his destination. Then, he added a few extra minutes to account for traffic or poor weather. Because of this fudge factor, he sometimes arrived 20 minutes ahead of schedule, but he was never late.
I asked him what he did with those extra 10 or 20 minutes. To me, this seemed very unproductive. With a shrug, he smiled and said that he just sat there and relaxed.
We're so used to multi-tasking that this seems contrary to our upbringing. But recent studies have shown that multi-tasking is far less productive than just focusing on one thing at a time. My friend's practice of relaxing for a few minutes between appointments has kept him far happier and more confident than most of us probably are.
What does God have to say about arriving early?
God created us to live within the confines of time, and he expects us to make the most of our hours here on earth. The apostle Paul reminded the Romans of this. He was talking to them about getting ready for Christ's return, but I think it can generally be applied to our daily schedules. If we keep our sights on God's plans for us and make sure that we're using our time wisely, we will feel more confident doing his work.
Paul said, But make sure that you don't get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your day-by-day obligations that you lose track of the time and doze off, oblivious to God. The night is about over, dawn is about to break. Be up and awake to what God is doing! God is putting the finishing touches on the salvation work he began when we first believed. We can't afford to waste a minute, must not squander these precious daylight hours in frivolity and indulgence, in sleeping around and dissipation, in bickering and grabbing everything in sight. Get out of bed and get dressed! Don't loiter and linger, waiting until the very last minute. Dress yourselves in Christ, and be up and about! (Romans 13:11 MSG)
Conduct a time study.
I have conducted my own time studies to figure out how long it takes me to get ready to leave the house. I have discovered over the years that no matter how many children, dogs, or phone calls are factored into the equation, it takes me at least two hours to shower, get dressed, feed the family, walk the dog, and hit the road.
We recently moved about 45 minutes outside of the city. Now, I have to add driving time to my equation. Sometimes I get delayed behind a farmer on a tractor, or believe it or not, a pair of tiny donkeys pulling a man in a miniature cart. In order to arrive 10 minutes early to all of my appointments, I allow myself 60 minutes for driving.
By giving ourselves these extra minutes and figuring in a little extra fudge factor, we can arrive at our destinations feeling more confident. When we approach our day this way, it reduces stress and boosts our self-esteem. We're no longer feeling like the flustered loser who's about to get fired for always arriving late.
Today's Challenge
For the next week, conduct your own time studies. Figure out how long it really takes you to get ready in the morning. Write down your start time and your end time. Do the same for your morning commute. When you have figured out how long it takes, add some extra time to allow for the unexpected. Then, plan to arrive 10 minutes early and add that to your formula.
The 10 Minute Rule
Consider how you feel when you find yourself running behind schedule. You look at your watch every few seconds as you crawl through heavy traffic on the way to work. You envision your boss glaring at you when you sneak in late. Every day, you seem to run about 10 minutes behind, no matter how hard you try to arrive on time.
I have a friend who never seemed to suffer from this frustration of running the race against the clock. Whenever we met, he was always there waiting for me, looking unruffled and relaxed. What was his secret?
He told me about The 10-Minute Rule. No matter where he planned to go or who he intended to meet, he always arrived 10 minutes ahead of schedule.
When I asked him how he managed to succeed at this, he said that he did time studies to figure out how long it took to get from his house to his destination. Then, he added a few extra minutes to account for traffic or poor weather. Because of this fudge factor, he sometimes arrived 20 minutes ahead of schedule, but he was never late.
I asked him what he did with those extra 10 or 20 minutes. To me, this seemed very unproductive. With a shrug, he smiled and said that he just sat there and relaxed.
We're so used to multi-tasking that this seems contrary to our upbringing. But recent studies have shown that multi-tasking is far less productive than just focusing on one thing at a time. My friend's practice of relaxing for a few minutes between appointments has kept him far happier and more confident than most of us probably are.
What does God have to say about arriving early?
God created us to live within the confines of time, and he expects us to make the most of our hours here on earth. The apostle Paul reminded the Romans of this. He was talking to them about getting ready for Christ's return, but I think it can generally be applied to our daily schedules. If we keep our sights on God's plans for us and make sure that we're using our time wisely, we will feel more confident doing his work.
Paul said, But make sure that you don't get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your day-by-day obligations that you lose track of the time and doze off, oblivious to God. The night is about over, dawn is about to break. Be up and awake to what God is doing! God is putting the finishing touches on the salvation work he began when we first believed. We can't afford to waste a minute, must not squander these precious daylight hours in frivolity and indulgence, in sleeping around and dissipation, in bickering and grabbing everything in sight. Get out of bed and get dressed! Don't loiter and linger, waiting until the very last minute. Dress yourselves in Christ, and be up and about! (Romans 13:11 MSG)
Conduct a time study.
I have conducted my own time studies to figure out how long it takes me to get ready to leave the house. I have discovered over the years that no matter how many children, dogs, or phone calls are factored into the equation, it takes me at least two hours to shower, get dressed, feed the family, walk the dog, and hit the road.
We recently moved about 45 minutes outside of the city. Now, I have to add driving time to my equation. Sometimes I get delayed behind a farmer on a tractor, or believe it or not, a pair of tiny donkeys pulling a man in a miniature cart. In order to arrive 10 minutes early to all of my appointments, I allow myself 60 minutes for driving.
By giving ourselves these extra minutes and figuring in a little extra fudge factor, we can arrive at our destinations feeling more confident. When we approach our day this way, it reduces stress and boosts our self-esteem. We're no longer feeling like the flustered loser who's about to get fired for always arriving late.
Today's Challenge
For the next week, conduct your own time studies. Figure out how long it really takes you to get ready in the morning. Write down your start time and your end time. Do the same for your morning commute. When you have figured out how long it takes, add some extra time to allow for the unexpected. Then, plan to arrive 10 minutes early and add that to your formula.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Be Prepared to Boost Your Confidence
We are learning how to become more confident people through my series, Confident in God's Hands. These lessons are particularly helpful for readers who have survived abuse or trauma, but they can also be insightful for the rest of the population.
Grandma's Bowling Ball
When I was a kid, I went to stay with my grandmother for a week. One night, she got her bowling ball bag out of the closet and set it beside the door.
"Are we going bowling tonight?" I asked.
"No," Grandma said, "Tomorrow."
Hmm...I had never seen anyone prepare for an event in advance like that. I wondered at the time if it was something that only older people did.
Grandma's night-before preparation intrigued me when I was younger, but it has served as a powerful reminder ever since. She knew the importance of being prepared, which allowed her to sleep soundly, kept her from rushing the following day, prevented her from forgetting to take her ball with her, and helped her to arrive on time at the bowling alley.
God is prepared.
Throughout the Bible, there are numerous references to this practice of being prepared. God models this character trait in many ways, and I particularly like how the apostle, Paul, explained it to the Ephesian church. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.(Ephesians 2:10 NIV)
God has a plan for each one of us. We were sent to earth so that others might come to know him through our love. He is ready to use those who are prepared so that others may be blessed. Are you ready for whatever opportunities may come your way?
Today's Challenge
Do something before going to bed tonight to prepare for your day tomorrow. Lay out your clothes, make a list of errands you will do, or set out the things you will need to take with you when you leave the house. Be prepared and confident for whatever plans God has in store for you.
Grandma's Bowling Ball
When I was a kid, I went to stay with my grandmother for a week. One night, she got her bowling ball bag out of the closet and set it beside the door.
"Are we going bowling tonight?" I asked.
"No," Grandma said, "Tomorrow."
Hmm...I had never seen anyone prepare for an event in advance like that. I wondered at the time if it was something that only older people did.
Grandma's night-before preparation intrigued me when I was younger, but it has served as a powerful reminder ever since. She knew the importance of being prepared, which allowed her to sleep soundly, kept her from rushing the following day, prevented her from forgetting to take her ball with her, and helped her to arrive on time at the bowling alley.
God is prepared.
Throughout the Bible, there are numerous references to this practice of being prepared. God models this character trait in many ways, and I particularly like how the apostle, Paul, explained it to the Ephesian church. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.(Ephesians 2:10 NIV)
God has a plan for each one of us. We were sent to earth so that others might come to know him through our love. He is ready to use those who are prepared so that others may be blessed. Are you ready for whatever opportunities may come your way?
Today's Challenge
Do something before going to bed tonight to prepare for your day tomorrow. Lay out your clothes, make a list of errands you will do, or set out the things you will need to take with you when you leave the house. Be prepared and confident for whatever plans God has in store for you.
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